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Fire David Letterman? As If!

Note to that crowd, you know which one. I'm talking about the faux-indignation because we have nothing else crowd circling the wagons around Dave because of his Palin joke militia.

Not gonna happen. In fact, everything you do in this regard right now will only work to make Dave's ratings better. And considering Dave's new competition in late night and the network's desire to see him take the lead (and become the King of Late Night, without a press release) you are very kindly doing a lot of the heavy lifting for him and CBS. So, thanks for that.

Why? Because nobody wants to be a member of a club that would have someone like you; obnoxious teabagging, Obama hating, domestic terrorist supporting, low information voting, bigoted, heart of poison, reactionary Glenn Beck-watching stooge; as a member.

Don't you get it? You are vastly outnumbered here. It is not, as you purported values voters think, a conservative nation.

Washington Post:

(PR guru Ken)Sunshine says, the Letterman-Palin skirmish has been good for both sides: Letterman gets a booster shot of media-whipped "controversy" at a moment when he could finally be poised to surge past Conan O'Brien and "The Tonight Show" for late-night TV supremacy, while Palin seized an opportunity to appeal to her "base" of conservatives.

"Letterman is a master of this, and he's milking it for all it's worth," Sunshine said, citing similar ratings-boosting "feuds" that Letterman has engaged in with McCain and Oprah Winfrey. "But people often underestimate [Palin] and underestimate her following. She's exploiting this very smartly. She's speaking to her core base that feels maligned. She's playing the faux feminist . . . and the family-values representative. It's extraordinary that she can bring this off."

"Poor Mitt Romney," he adds. "He's probably wondering, 'Where do I get some of this?' "

And you know, I don't really care which Palin daughter was at the ballgame that Dave's remark was inspired by. With a mother like Sarah Palin who doesn't support comprehensive sex education and doesn't support a woman's right to choose it would be much easier for her daughter, whatever age, to get impregnated by Alex Rodriguez.

And it wasn't a rape joke about the kid anyway, it was a parenting joke about Palin, which is probably what got her so pissed off.

Dave? No going anywhere but up, gang. But please, keep up the drum beating because he only wins.

And you will always lose. Especially when the guy you wanna see fired is making money for his network. Here's an idea, just don't watch! I'm sure Letterman will miss the 12 of you who object to him.

So sure.

TV.com has video from CBS' The Early Show from this morning that you might wanna see, and that's at this link.

Ferguson Video -- The New King of Late Night? NBC Bites, The Nation Bites Back, Fast!

I know it wasn't my good close personal friends that do the press for NBC that are to blame. I blame Zucker, it's just the kind of thing he would press.

What happened is this ... Dave beat Conan on Wednesday, then Conan beat Dave on Thursday. On the heels of moving back to the top spot for the time period NBC immediately sent out a release calling Conan "the new king of late night."

Because of that one day.

Because it's NBC. Because they got nothing else to crow about lately. Because they still can't get the icky film off their bodies that was left by Knight Rider.

Surely this was an edict that came down from on high. I can't imagine any publicist for a show would leave the show that open to ridicule after the fact.

And the ridicule is coming from everywhere, including ...

Joe Adalian, TV Week -- "OK, so TV MoJoe likes the Conan. And we've been pretty consistent in warning against reading too much into the overnight household ratings for the latenight daypart-- both when "The Tonight Show" premiered strongly, and when "Late Show" rallied back last week.

It was no surprise, then, that O'Brien would end up trouncing Letterman when the final numbers came out. Good for Conan. And good for NBC, which actually did a great job launching the show from a marketing and PR point of view.

But then NBC this morning goes and puts out a release declaring "Conan the New King of Late Night."

Really, NBC? Really?

It's one week, people. Lots will change. NBC insiders have said they plan to measure O'Brien's success in years, not weeks or months.

And from Craig Ferguson, who did his opening bit on the controversy in support of his boss and lead-in Letterman.

Since I have committed to posting One Craig Ferguson Clip a Day Until You Start Watching, this could not happen at a better time. Clips after the jump. There are two including the monologue just in case I miss a day in the near future.

Craig's live on Monday with special guest Oscar winner Holly Hunter from TNT's Saving Grace. It's time for you to start watching Craig.

2 Clips -- Jim Parsons First Appearance With Letterman, Big Bang's Press Attack Continues

Yesterday Kaley Cuoco and Kunal Nayyar were on Bonnie Hunt and I'm also looking around the web for a clip from that appearance, because ... they brought their dogs, and you know I have a soft spot for those segments.

(Still looking for that, btw, will update the post when I find it.)

Jim Parsons with Dave last night was a riot. Parsons himself is some of the best parts of Sheldon without all the angst and the phobias and the persnicketiness (add it to the dictionary if it's not there).

He's really quite the charming guy.

Clip after the jump, but first I thought we'd take a little trip over to Chuck Lorre's site this morning so I could once again revel in his vanity card essay. You know, the thing he writes every week that runs on his vanity card at the end of the show.

I noticed by reading the fine print at his site that some of these essays run first on Two And A Half Men and then they repeat on Big Bang Theory. Chuck? Whatcha doin'? Write new stuff, we need new stuff from you all the time, because it's just too good. I freeze frame my DVR every week to read them.

From the April 13 episode, a reflection on the current economic crisis, Chuck contends that the economy is prone to the effects of Newton's first law of motion, and he ends by saying ...

I therefore assert that the unbalanced force (you know who you are, shame on you), will eventually be overwhelmed by the object in motion (three and a half billion people with pluck, aka pluckers), thus allowing the object in motion to continue its relentless journey forward, thriving and conniving until it is once again slowed down by other unbalanced forces, or a very large meteorite. Or a plague. Or fundamentalists with nukes. Or atmosphere-eating nanobots. Or a super volcano. Or Skynet. Or Cylons.

Cylons, yes, but more likely fundamentalists with nukes, or just a status quo that likes things the way they are because they're raking it in and can't let go off that easy free money.

I like Chuck Lorre. Chuck, hope you don't mind that I stole your pool picture from your site, I do link to you every chance I get.

Parsons with Dave after the jump. New episode of The Big Bang Theory this Monday at 8 on CBS. He turns out to be quite the entertainment industry geek. Jim, you should be reading my blog, many like-minded people here.

Best of Sheldon bonus clip for you fans after the jump as well. Thank you, Lana Kim!

2 Clips -- NGTV's Carrie Does the Cast of 17 Again, Plus a Zac Efron-Related Separated at Birth and Matthew Perry on Letterman

(I know the headlines are getting longer, but I have no discipline whatsoever, and shortening them takes brain power, and thinking's hard. Wah!)

On Facebook, our friend Lindsay Carroll from MaddowFans.com has noted something interesting ... Efron has a doppelganger, and it's a young woman that L Word viewers know from seasons four through 6 as Max, Daniela Sea.

Look at both of them below.

Right? Spooky, huh.

You can learn more about Daniela at this link. For Efron it's a big weekend, he's trying to join the ranks of those who can open a film, and a comedy no less, on the strength of his popularity. And you gotta hand it to the kid (yes, he's a kid to an almost-50-year-old, a cute kid but still a kid) as he's been everywhere promoting this thing.

Of course, I'm sure his favorite moments of the press junket are in the No Good Television clip after the jump. I haven't even watched it yet, let me click over there and give it a whirl before I say more.

So, Thomas Lennon, who costars in the movie, he has a lot of experience in front of Carrie Keegan on NGTV. In fact, as you'll remember he invited Carrie to be on Reno 911 a couple seasons back.

As a whore, but still, an invite is an invite.

I thnk the classic line that you will remember from the Efron-Lennon-Keegan banter is when Zac tells about getting hit in the face with Lennon's light saber.

And Tom Lennon? Kind of a little protective of Zac, in a daddy kind of way. You take that however you wanna take that.

Sometimes a light saber is just a light saber.

Also here is Matthew Perry and Leslie Mann (Ms. Apatow).  It opens today nationwide.

Also after the jump, because it's on YT watch Dave last night with Perry, talking about that special place in the road by Lisa Kudrow's house where you can see right into her bedroom.

Hey, put down those car keys yo!

Clips after the jump.

They could do another movie with Efron and Daniela Sea, instead of aging Zac could just, uh, feminize? If you wanna work the sequel angle you could call it With Ladyparts Again.

Video -- Rachel Maddow on Letterman: "I Guess I'd Prefer to Be Privately, Quietly Smart"

When asked by Dave if she would rather be smart or be able to talk, that was her response.

Rachel talks about her Western Mass. local radio days and then the conversation turns abruptly to AIG and the economy.

You know how I feel about AIG.

Keith Olbermann does have an enormous head, as Dave says, but I think he also has a rapidly expanding face. It's getting wider, forehead worthy of billboard advertising.

And the thing with Keith is that with all the Bo-Bo injected into his head the advertising would have no wrinkles.

Keith, I love you show but it's true. Lay off the botulism.

Thanks to whoever is running the webcomic website LennyLimbo.com for posting the clip, which is after the jump.

Letterman Preview Video -- Rush Limbaugh, Bonehead Gangster & U2 Live on Yet Another Roof

Is there a Guinness Book category for fattest stupid fuck to make himself deaf by overdosing on pain killers? Is there?

There he is, the de facto leader of the party of no ideas. Katie Couric explains the concept of the power vacuum to Dave in a clip from tonight's show.

Also tonight, U2 starts a full week of appearances to promote their new album.

LINK

And, after the jump, for you U2 fans, on February 27 U2 played the rooftop of the BBC Broadcast House in London and I have a clip from that as well.

Have at it!

2 Clips -- Pay Absolutely No Attention to Joaquin Phoenix (after reading this)

Dude is seriously breaking down. Just watch this clip below to confirm that it's true and then don't pay attention until this behavior goes away. It seems like something we shouldn't be seeing, like it's too personal, too intimately strange.

Seriously, just let it go. If you don't pay attention you aren't validating it. Because this is not the outside-the-norm kind of behavior that I think we should be encouraging. At least not in public, on the teevee.

I think Dave Letterman was flummoxed, and I've never seen him like that before. Even on that memorable night with Farrah Fawcett.

NME.com:

Joaquin Phoenix has admitted that he is bothered by media speculation that his move into the world of hip hop is merely a spoof.

The actor has been making headlines recently with his hip hop project, which he is apparently working on with P. Diddy.

"I can see how people might think it is shocking," he told Reuters. "But by saying my life is a joke or the thing that I love is a joke, well, that bothers me."

The second clip? The career to come (and go very quickly, at least I hope so, for the sake of, I dunno, family pride?).

Maybe they think it's a joke because since you decided this it also seems like you're always chemically-altered in public. Mumbling, falling off stages, etc ...

Letterman Video -- One Last Inappropriate Jennifer Aniston Post Before the Year Ends

No, I'm not writing inappropriately about the star of Marley & Me, I'm writing about her inappropriateness.

So, she's in NYC, it's December, and she wears this ridonkulous dress with that thing around her waist that looks about two inches too thick to be a belt of any kind, but then you notice that the dress itself is just ill-fitting.

Then you realize exactly how short it is.

And then as she sits down in the chair next to Dave, you almost see her cooz.

Yes, I said that. Her cooz.

And I think that was the point of it all. I really think she or someone made a decision to hike this dress up and stick the extra bits in the middle under the weird belt looking thing, though it looked to me like a pigeon flew into a deer and someone ran over both with a car and then she put it around her waist.

So, I'm searching for the interview at YouTube (and it's there, I have it after the jump in two clips) and I notice that each time she's been on the show she wears a skirt that short. You can see in the "Related Videos" scrolling window on the page that she's always dressed like this for Dave.

In fact, there's a clip called, "Jennifer Aniston sexy legs" which is just a Letterman interview clip.

Apparently, the Huvanes have done their research and discovered that Dave is a leg man.

How about showing up on a talk show and talking about acting, or the movie, or anything but the naked picture of you on the cover of GQ? How about not pulling a stunt like that before a round of talk show interviews? I know why you do it, because you'd rather talk about being naked in stores across the country than to talk about Brad and Angie again, but I don't' care about Brad and Angie, I just care about you picking better projects and being the actress I fell in love with Thursday nights on NBC throughout the 90s.

I'm giving you both parts of the interview because at the beginning of part two she just sits there and has Dave present the GQ photos. She doesn't have to talk about anything of consequence because she got naked for a magazine. Great plan, huh?

I can look at the pictures on my own. I don't even have to buy the magazine, all I have to do is click this link. And, she brings the tie along with her.

What, so Dave can take the part that was covering her nipples and do something with it?

Really?

Video -- Colbert Tonight on Letterman, Will He Refuse to Come Out Before Midnight?

Because if he does, he's competing against himself. Here's a clip from the show, gleaned from the web as if I could travel through time to the very near future.

And who says I can't?

LINK

Sarah Palin in Her Own Words (With Some Help From Letterman's Videotape Editors)

LINK