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2 Clips -- Rick Springfield On His Role on Showtime's Californication

I'm not a huge fan of the show, but I did check in to see what Ed Westwick did with the gay character crushing hard on newly-minted Professor Moody the other night, not that I watch Gossip Girl, either.

Westwick is just, uh ... intriguing, to me. Let's leave it at that. Check out a clip from his guest shot at this link.

Anyhoo, women of a certain age (that age being near mine) ... check out Rick Springfield in the clip after the jump. He plays a new client of Evan Handler's Charlie character in an arc that starts this Sunday on Showtime at 10 after Dexter.

Yes, he's still pretty dreamy. And Jessie's Girl is a great pop song, still, after all these years, and it's the second clip after the jump.

One thing about Madeleine Martin who plays Hank's daughter ... when do we get a Hallmark Hall of Fame Goth movie starring her and NCIS star Pauley Perrette? Or, maybe just a pictorial shot by Kelly Lind? Inquiring minds want to know.

(Visit Kelly's site, Erotique Digitale, at this link. Site NSFW, subscription required, taste of Kelly's work at his personal site at this link, he's a self-taught photographic genius in my estimation who will be huge, soon.)

Watch a "Slightly Altered" Version of the Dexter Premiere Right Here Right Now

It's on my DVR, I haven't watched it yet, but I wanted to allow all of you to take a look at it.

From the episode embed after the jump:

The following program has been edited from its original form. To see the full unedited episode, 0rder Showtime now.

And you can do that at this link, or just call your cable provider. But tell them you want the channel at $7.99/month per the deal at the Showtime website.

Episode embed after the jump. It can't be too hacked up, btw, because it runs almost the full hour. Probably small edits to conform to YouTube standards.

Wait, there are standards on YouTube, home of Two Girls One Cup?

The contest, btw, is still going. No winner yet. Click here for details.

Video -- Dexter Returns ... Win a Dexter Calendar & Baseball Cap, See Below

First the big news ... something happens in the first 30 minutes of this episode that you just have to see. I can only tell you that much. I am sworn to secrecy.

(You thought the big news was the giveway? If you're that guy or gal, click over the jump for the details. And I'm sure that if you click around the web enough you'll find out what "the big news" is but I'm not gonna spoil it for you.)

This is a pivotal year for our anti-hero. New life, house in the burbs, new wife, instant dad to two ... how's a guy supposed to quench his bloodlust?

Folks, it's just like the megachurch preacher who needs to do meth and service male prostitutes ... if you wanna do it you find the time. True for just about everything in this life, dontcha think?

Time, like the time I didn't have to watch the end of season three? Yeah. However, for you guys and gals who like me got too hooked into other non-TV-related stuff last season like personal lives and family commitments, iTunes has a 99 cents deal on season one through three episodes that you can take advantage of by clicking this link.

Your bad guy this season? The only, the only, the man who can make you laugh or cry or entertain your little kiddies if he's so disposed, 3rd Rock from the Sun's John Lithgow as Walter Simmons, who you'll know as the Trinity Killer.

Have you not seen John play a killer? He's very intense. This is a return to the Lithgow of old, the Lithgow that made him a solid player in the TV and film biz. Before they let him be funny, Lithgow offed a lot of people.

On TV and in movie. Not really.

More, including giveaway details and two clips, after the jump.

Click Over to TV.com's Nurse Jackie Clip Dispensary For Season Finale Clues

Okay, I know I've been a little behind on my Nurse Jackie viewing, but I just about caught up over the weekend (at the prompting of a little bird, she knows who she is) and it's all coming to a head for our pharmaceutical phangirl tonight at 10:30 on Showtime.

That compartmentalization of her life that's been going on? Well, those walls were weak to begin with, and once one of those doors was opened, even the slightest bit, you had to know there would be more to follow. Jackie's gonna have to deal, and quickly.

She's already lost her source (Eddie out, pill-0-matix in) , she's compromised yet another of her ideals (ripping that page out of Zoey's notebook), she's pissed at O'Hara (the fab Eve Best), and you're never gonna guess what happens in the scene with Coop I have after the jump for you.

Do you think you know from looking at these stills above what's going on? You have no idea what Coop (Peter Facinelli) can cook up in the space between his ears. No idea at all.

Now, let me just say to all of you writing all over the web about your love for Zoey (Merritt Wever), I totally get it now. I finally got it in episode six when the nurses gathered around to say goodbye to Maureen.

And what a performance by a completely unrecognizeable Judith Ivey as cancer-striken Maureen in that episode. I didn't know until moments ago it was her, and I was just talking about Ivey this past weekend, so she was on my mind. Subliminally? Hmmm.

There are loads of clips at TV.com, including some exclusive content just for them, but I'm posting one from the Showtime website after the jump, watch it and be amazed that this man managed to become a physician with this little insight into the human condition outside himself.

When you think about it, though, maybe it's Coop's own issues that have slowed his social development. Maybe this is as good as Coop gets.

Nurse Jackie's already picked up for season two, and when I know anything about a season one DVD set I'll get that to you ASAP.

Culture Wars -- Pay Cable's Fast 'n' Easy Trumps Broadcast's Standards & Practices

Interesting piece this AM from The Wrap, which, if you don't know, is the place that Joe Adalian is supposed to land at after his departure from the now web-only TV Week.

(No, no sign of him yet, but I keep checking for a new link for the blogroll. I'm on it, not to worry.)

Anyhow, in their First Take newsletter they have a link to their analysis of HBO and Showtime's success in a bad economy:

“It’s just a very good time for us,” said Matt Blank, chairman and CEO of Showtime. “Regardless of the cost of subscription cable, consumers see staying home and watching premium channels as a cost-efficient use of their dollars.”

“People are starting to spend their money more wisely, and premium cable is a very good value for the cost,” added Dave Baldwin, executive VP of program planning for HBO. “For the price of taking the family to one movie, you can afford all of HBO.”

According to Daniel Frankel's piece Showtime has added almost 700K subscribers, and segment leader HBO has had a huge success selling True Blood season one on DVD and adding an additional 35K users, not much until you consider they are already the star of the category.

Starz even added almost 400K.

Starz? I know! And no, I don't think it's because of their series version of Crash. Better chance that they found 300,000 fans of Party Down than Crash, which is just so all over the place that you don't know what to make of it.

(And you, Dennis Hopper, exactly what ARE you doing on that show?)

Sure, some of the gains have to do with people looking for more affordable ways to pass the time, and I notice that DVD sales as a whole being down is a boon to pay cable and companies like Netflix. But you can't rule out that people are tiring of the formulaic, and pay cable and to a slightly lesser extent their advertising-supported friends on the dial are the innovators in the marketplace.

And, the relaxed content standards just might be more in tune with the viewing public (if not the general public) than the network fare.

Certainly any HBO series is more compelling than listening to the comedy stylings of a 59-year-old comic in prime time. It would be great to see even the pay cable channels program aggresively against Leno weeknights at 10, it's a timeslot that in my opinion is ripe for the taking, despite all the analysis and trend research NBC has paid for and is throwing at you and me.

2 Clips -- Dexter at Comic-Con: Lithgow & Carradine in Season 4

Lithgow: "I'm the only one on the set that knows what's going to happen in the next 12 episodes. It's a fantastic feeling. I could actually speak two sentences right now that would make this entire building explode.

"But I'm not going to."

They've shot five already, seven more to go, and Keith Carradine returns this season as the FBI agent Lundy (Carradine, still doing pantsless ass shots on pay cable at this age and lookin' good doing it) that Debra was tight with in season two.

The second clip is Clyde Phillips talking about Carradine's return. The first, Lithgow.

If you've never seen John Lithgow do a really creepy character, you are in for some great stuff. I love John Lithgow the comic actor, the stage actor and the children's performer.

But, John Lithgow the frickin' crazy killer? You're really gonna love him.

Two clips after the jump. More at Showtime's YouTube account, which is at this link.

Video Direct from Comic-Con -- Dexter Season Four Trailer

Eat it up, kids.

Well, not actual kids. I don't suggest the show be viewed by children, certainly. I have trouble sleeping after watching Dexter, I can't imagine what it might do to the delicate psyche of a young teen.

I can't watch this trailer, because ... ouch, I hate to say this, but I never finished last season. I will. Promise I will, it just fell at a bad time, too much other stuff on the air that I had to keep current with, and there was a Presidential election that drew my attention away from it.

Speaking of kids, after last season's 40-Year-Old Virgin inspired ad campaign with a goofy-smiling Michael C. Hall spattered in blood, what do you think the haters will say about the image at the top of this post?

Bring it on, more controversy = more buzz.

And thank you Showtime. I promise to get all my homework done before the season four premiere on September 27 at 9 eastern.

2 Clips -- Isn't it Bromantic, Big Brother's Jessie and Russell Talk and Touch Muscle

It's as if you're watching the pre-sex portion of gay porn. Check it. First up they lift and spend a lot of time looking at and touching each other, and then after the jumperoo watch them in the kitchen for some staring into the mirror above the sink and ... a game of guess my weight?!?!?

It's just another day in the Big Brother house. Check out the product placement all over the place, too, from Coors to MuscleMilk.

LINK

Second clip past the fold. All the gay on Big Brother seems to be coming from everyone except Kevin.

Video -- Tonight's Nurse Jackie: Dr. Coop Has Two Mommies!

And they are Blythe Danner and Swoosie Kurtz. Outstanding. Judith Ivey guests tonight as well. All powerhouse women on stage and screen.

Tonight's episode "has Jackie caught off-guard when a nurse (Ivey) she used to work with, who is dying of lung cancer, asks Jackie to help end her life. Meanwhile, Coop’s mother (Blythe Danner) is admitted with a gall bladder attack. We learn that he is the only son of lesbians…a fact that delights Jackie and O’Hara."

Delights them, and me. Clip after the jump.

Check out the Nurse Jackie web home at this link for more.

UPDATED: Video -- Big Brother Now With Extra Jessie, Super Action Muzzle Not Included

UPDATE: Hi, readers from the Jokers Update forums, could someone ask the person who posted this at that page ask the reader with the username "crayons" who posted the link to this post to use the actual link and not the cached version? Because that would make me very very happy.

It's this link: http://iamatvjunkie.typepad.com/i_am_a_tv_junkie_a_blog_f/2009/07/video-big-brother-now-with-extra-jessie-super-action-muzzle-not-included.html

Thanks.
-Joe

On the one hand, everything below Jessie's neck is right up my alley. On the other hand, everything above it is roadkill housed conveniently beneath the skull.

(Plus, I'm a sucker for a high-and-tight on a bodybuilder. Aren't you?)

What's a guy to do? Watch BB with the sound off?

You remember Jessie, he was the guy from season 10 who, when he won HoH had his private bedroom plastered with pics of ... himself.

But, not the pic above. Because CBS wouldn't have liked that. Pic without the logo at the end of the post after the jump, for you ass fans. And, for you fans of art photography. Hey, it's a black and white image, that qualifies as art, doesn't it?

I think there's gonna be trouble between the four hot guys in the house, especially between Jessie and Russell "The Lovemuscle," as I surmise they're both used to getting attention for their bodies. I don't think that will be as big a deal for former college football player Jeff (the Jeff Schroeder blog at Blogspot, btw, is not him).

Surfer boy Braden just looks out of shape next to these guys. He should have some internal mischagos over that. Plus, that pouty thing? Doesn't work for me. You?

No chance Jessie will be placed in the Brains clique, though. At least we call all agree on that. It's okay, he's even bigger than he was the first time he played. Or was it the extreme cut out on the shirt (above left)?

The guy I'd more than likely get along with best in the house? Ronnie Talbott (don't check his Facebook account, it's been temporarily placed offline, I tried). Only because of this graph in his bio:

He is obsessed with video games and often plays more than six hours a day, even to the point of ignoring his wife. Ronnie is a collector of all things sci-fi, especially Star Wars collectibles.

There are women on the show, too. And a couple other guys. We discussed Kevin last week at this link.

As regular readers know, my favorite part of the show is Big Brother After Dark on Showtime, when the cameras are just rolling and people are just yakking their heads off and someone reveals something that they don't even realize they're potentially saying to every Showtime subscriber in the country.

I could care less who wins and what the challenges are, I just love being that fly on the wall.

Oh, I did notice the one woman, Laura, with the flatironed hair and the huge, just huge!, rack.

Nice of her to climb down from the pole to play the game.

Oh, sorry, she's a bikini model. That's so much more legit.

That's her in her Facebook pic to the right. She needs a new Facebook pic.

And here's Jessie without the logo, after the jump.

Video -- It's Big Brother Time, Let's Meet Kevin, the Gay Houseguest!

Every year at this time (and sometimes at other times depending on the Union situation in this town) we look at the new crop of Big Brother houseguests and introduce you to the gay one ... and some of the hot straight guys with whom he will be living.

TV.com has a great page with info on all of them for you to check out at this link.

So, let's start with Kevin, 29, half Japanese, half African-American, all graphic designer from Chula Vista, a San Diego suburb.

From the new BB site at CBS:

Kevin's proudest accomplishment comes from one of the most trying times in his life, growing up a Jehovah's Witness. He was eventually excommunicated at age 21. Cut off from his family and friends, he didn’t let it destroy him. Instead, he found happiness and thrived. He currently works as a graphic designer.

(snip)

Kevin believes the most difficult part of the game will be its duration, but he’ll overcome it by setting mini goals and pacing himself. He’s also not too proud to throw a few battles if it means winning the war. After growing up in the closet, he knows he has the tools to deceive anyone who gets in his way.

Wow, how Godlike of his folks to turn their backs on him, huh? Man, parents can be absolute shit, can't they? Or is it just the JW parents (and their Mormon counterparts, and for that matter lots of other religions where you're supposed to love your family unconditionally).

Note to Kevin: Win the game, but don't win it for them, win it for you. Another note to Kevin: You probably think that it's fun to throw around phrases like Ghetto Fabulous now, but when you're watching the show years from now with a new boyfriend you will wince in pain when you hear it.

For Kevin's parents, a WWJD bumper sticker, free of charge. Anyone have their address? I'll send it right now.

And now, because I only watch this show for the eye candy and of course the pay cable element of the ordeal on Showtime where I listen for people to reveal things they might not otherwise, here's some scoop on a couple of other guys on the show.

Braden's a surfer, actor, model, (waiter?), and thinks he's hot. Well, we'll be the judges of that, Braden. Already a naked pic of him on the web. Here's his Myspace page link.

Braden's also appeared as the rare hetero guy on Dante's Cove, the here! TV series that almost no one has ever seen. Catch a clip of him, uh ... acting (?) at this link.

The other and in my opinion hotter guy is Russell, an MMA fighter from Walnut Creek who calls himself Russell the Lovemuscle. Probably thought that was unique when he "came up with it," but do a Google search and he's not the only one. He should be the Jesse (BB8) of this go-round.

Speaking of Jesse, my websearch turned up links to new (well, new to me) naked pics (no frontal) which are at this link.

Braden's the one with the hair above, Russell the one without.

Watch the YouTube clips from BB Media Day (no, I wasn't invited and I probably would have passed, anyway) at the Examiner site for the show at this link.

And, after the jump, we check in with the Chenbot (from the CBS Early Show) with a quick feature on the new contestants.

Video -- Nurse Jackie Gets Job Security, Renewed Immediately After Biggest Showtime Debut Ever

The doctors may be out, or out there, or just out of their minds and needing to grab a breast under duress (right Dr. Coop?) but the nurse is in. Will be until after next year, too.

Our TV babe Kristin and her team at E! tells us:

Nurse Jackie premiered last night on Showtime and this afternoon...picked up! Sources tell us that Showtime has ordered a 12-episode second season of the Edie Falco series. Production on season two will begin at the end of the summer. About 1.35 million watched last night's series-premiere installment of Nurse Jackie, along with 1.7 million tuning in for Weeds, marking Showtime's biggest-ever premiere night.

Preview of next episode in a clip after the jump. Mon, 10:30, Sho.

Billie Piper Movie Alert -- Set Your DVR, Spirit Trap On Showtime Beyond Wednesday

I'm not a horror film guy, I'm a Billie Piper guy. So I'm gonna check out Billie in this UK comedy/horror film about a group of college students who get a message from the housing office that there's an old creepy mansion that they can live in if they want.

I'm sure this will turn out to be a bad idea for them. And that's why it's a horror film.

It co-stars Luke Mably who you might recognize from 28 Days Later. But mostly I'll check this out because I enjoy seeing my faves in different situations.

I'd provide a trailer, but I can't find one. Sorry. It's on Wednesday at 2pm. Which is why you have a DVR. Set it and DON'T forget it.

Video -- Edie Falco's Nurse Jackie Premieres Monday But You Can See It Now

See it now at TV.com at this link or right now on Showtime on Demand or Monday at 10:30 on Showtime "actual," but certainly see it. I know it's only June, but I have a sense this will be the best new show premiered this Summer and even if you don't have it you can see it for free so to not do so would be ... well, not conduct becoming a reader of this blog.

Who knows, you might just get it in your head to go ahead and order Showtime. Dexter will be coming back soon, with John Lithgow as a crazed serial killer, worth the $11 (?) a month alone. Secret Diary of a Call Girl with my Billie Piper (that's right, she's mine, git yer hands off!) is shooting series three right now in London, a frothily delicious li'l romp that's more entertaining in my opinion than Soderbergh's The Girlfriend Experience, also Showtime.

Of course, Weeds starts tomorrow as well, right beforehand. Not watching Weeds? Lame!

You know how the leads in Showtime series are all people who you root for despite the things that they do, things that are generally considered not nice? It says a lot that Jackie Peyton might be the nicest person at All Saints Hospital, which is somewhere in NYC near the subway station at 23rd St. and 7th Ave.

(You should have context. This is the top of Chelsea, near Grammercy Park, and as far as I can tell a private hospital.)

Jackie has a back problem. Not good for a nurse. She self-medicates with the help of hospital pharmacist Eddie, who also takes great care to not hurt her back while they're having sex every day at noon. At work. With Jackie's wedding ring in her back pocket.

Jackie also forges patients' signatures on their driver's license donor cards (or at least she does once), has sumptuous lunches with her doctor friend the posh brit Eleanor (Eve Best from ITV's Vital Signs) and sorts out the issues large and small of the day with her gay nurse pal Mohammed De La Cruz (the beautiful Haaz Sleiman, pictured with her to the right, from the Richard Jenkins movie The Visitor).

And between ripping surfer dude doc Coop (Peter Facinelli) a new one, snorting little granules of Oxy or smashing up Secanol and putting it in empty sweetener packets to use in her coffee during work, she's kicking ass and taking names ... and doing some remarkable and heroic things in spite of a hospital administrator who's squeezing the budget for all she can (Anna Deveare Smith, who I never realized was sooooo tall).

So, pretty complete life, right? How about this ... Jackie goes home and has another life there! Seriously. But I can't fill you in on that yet. You'll have to wait.

What I find fascinating is that I've watched half of the six episodes that Showtime sent along (thank you) and I still love this Jackie Peyton, a testament to Edie Falco, certainly.

She's really quite wonderful. I wasn't a Sopranos watcher and I've only seen her do a couple things besides that ep of Will & Grace and I guess I was expecting her to be good, she has won a bunch of awards after all, but pulling this role off and making her likeable is quite the feat.

And Nurse Momo (Sleiman)? Where's his series? I wanna see a show about him and his passive aggressive boyfriend Randy and his crush on Coop, too. Or, he can just come over my house and stare longingly at me with those eyes.

Of course, what would end up happening is he would call in sick and student nurse Zoey Barkow (Merritt Wever) would show up and we'd bake and complain about not having boyfriends. She's a source of irritation for most of the staff as she doesn't seem to have a limit on feelings about everything that she seriously needs to convey to someone. Anyone.

First episodes are always tough because of all the story and backstory they need to tell, but this one does that just fine. You'll be entertained from the get go and like with anything as you get to know these people more there will be more room for humor certainly, but also more conflict.

For example, what happens when Eddie the pharmacist ends up running into Jackie's husband?

So, there's that. And what happens when Eddie the pharmacist loses his job and gets replaced with a robot?

Is it funny? In a very gallows humor kind of way, sure. Is it compelling? Well I only planned on watching the pilot and I watched two more after that, and I could have gone longer.

It's a smart half hour of tube, and you don't get that a lot in the Summer. Add Weeds and you have an hour of women who ironically are working on the edges in order not to be marginalized.

(See what I did there? Edges? Margins? Ah, that's went writing really feels good.)

Behind the scenes with Edie Falco in a clip after the jump.

2 Clips -- Quickly, Some Great Stuff I Watched Yesterday, Today

Somewhat representative clips for both of these after the jump.

A) More of the first series of Primeval today ... on my iPod (I know, but I needed to be out of the house and waiting somewhere for a while).

I know, I really just should have pushed through the sluggish premiere of series one, but you know it was right after a great series of Torchwood. Also, it took these people f0rever in the Forest of Dean to figure out that the hell was going on with the anomaly, which, c'mon, was a bit glittery and sparkly to be afraid of, wasn't it?

(The anomaly is based on a dress that Mitzi Gaynor wore on a 1970s CBS variety special. Or, if you're British .... strike Gaynor, add Shirley Bassey on Val Parnell's Sunday Night at the London Palladium.)

I was thinking today that a US network would have probably switched genders on the Cutter couple, having the wife be the thoughtful professor and the husband be the wild-eyed scowling megalomaniacal era-hopping ... sonofabitch.

I wonder if they'll go that way in the US theatrical version? I think the rest of the relationships hold up if you do that. Making the Steven character a woman might be going a bit too far, but if you were to keep Steven a guy and switch the leads, that Steven - male version of Helen storyline gets a lot more interesting.

B) Season two of the documentary series I Can't Believe I'm Still Single on Showtime on Demand.

You know the game Name That Tune, yes? I thought so. So I think you'll understand this -- Eric Schaeffer can take me from hysterical laughter to utter disgust in four notes ... no, make it three ... actually two notes. Or words, rather.

Those two words? Poop noodle. And you'll have to click the link for a definition, from YouTube. And, honestly, it's not really his two words.

Still, I blame him. Without him it would not have been brought to my attention.

In 2005 Schaeffer wrote, directed and starred in an FX series that ran in a block with the first season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia called Starved.

I liked Starved more. The other one got renewed. Funny, it's not even on Hulu and you'd think it would be. We could all request it by writing to content@hulu.com and seeing what happens.

Anyway, Starved was a show about an eating disorders group, Schaeffer being one of the group. His binge food was a Nemo's chocolate cake, one of which I saw at the market the other day and you just can't think about Nemo's chocolate cake without thinking about Eric Schaeffer.

These season two episodes have him meeting 10 women, one of which is the poop noodle lady (or at least that's how I'll always know her.

The episode airing this Saturday night at 12:15 AM (Sunday morning, DVR it and watch it during conscious hours) is one I have seen. What happens in each episode is that a producer and a friend of his goes and does a pre interview with a seemingly nice woman who then tell she has indeed seen season one of this show and STILL wants to meet Eric Schaeffer.

Including this very nice improv comedy artist/dog walker woman with pretty eyes who could do better.

You might wonder why I say that, and I can't really do the man justice so I have a reading list for you, and that reading list starts after the jump.

(It's not all reading after the jump, there are the aforementioned clips, too.)

Weeds Begins Their Season Five Promos -- The Hemptress Wishes You Happy 4/20

June 8th, only on Showtime.

Mary-Louise Parker, you are lookin' hot in your black widow getup. Yowza!

And, this season it's the lead-in for the new Edie Falco series, Nurse Jackie.

I have the Nurse Jackie pilot in my hot (not so) li'l hand but I have to wait, guys and gals, till I get the okay from the big brass at Showtime to tell you what I think, so stay tuned.

Join the Weeds Facebook page at this link (of course, join Facebook first if you don't have a presence there) and watch The Stoners, a new web series.

Nurse Jackie trailer after the jump.

Right Here, Right Now, Win The Tudors Seasons 1 and 2 on DVD!

It's a contest Easter Sunday! My thanks to Dan McCallum from Ducky Does TV, I stole his graphic from his giveaway last month.

Thanks Dan, it's a holiday and I'm being a bit lazy.

Here's the deal, to win, just click over, right now, to the Pop Tudors blog from Showtime and tell me the character name of the "rougeish playboy" discussed somewhere on the blog.

First commenter wins the prize. It's so frickin' easy all it takes is a click.

I even provide the link, right here. And above.

My thanks to fellow Oswego alum the lovely and illusive RW at Showtime for providing the prize.

Preview clip for tonight's new episode after the jump.

If you don't win, you can always pick them up from Amazon, icons provided below. If you click through those icons, in about three hundred years I'll have enough credit with them to buy, I dunno, season 307 of Family Guy on "brain chip."

Gimme Is a Monster, and Other Tales of Tara; Diablo Cody's Tara-Centric Twitter Acct

(BTW, yes, Toni Collette's boobs do look huge in this photo. No, I don't know why.)

I sat down and watched three episodes of United States of Tara in a row yesterday. I know Showtime would prefer I watched the new episode every week as it aired but a half hour at a time just doesn't feel like enough for a single sitting.

You get into this world they've created and before you know it the show's over and you're listening to Amy Winehouse and watching Billie Piper put on makeup.

(I'll address the very predictable end to season two of Secret Diary later in the week, and don't worry too much as they have a third season to redeem themselves -- though I don't much more than that, I imagine Billie's star is rising further than ITV can take her.)

These were three episodes that worked really well as a group, too, starting with the visit from Tara's parents from hell and ending with Alice showing up with the pink stick to prove that she's gonna have a little girl.

Too bad it doesn't work that way. What does Alice know, she lives in a Douglas Sirk film. They didn't have pregnancy tests.

However, if they're looking for one of Tara's alters to pee on a stick, I vote for Gimme.

Gimme is one effed-up alter. Was that really Toni Collette in that safety orange poncho? Looked like Bigfoot's child bride.

Did you see that Diablo Cody has a special Twitter account where she live blogs the show? It's at this link but apparently she isn't current, either. Maybe she watched the episodes three at a time as well?

You know, the more I think about this Twitter dealio the more I think it's just verbal masturbation, which is just my thing! I think I'll join. I just did, I'm at this link. I'll be using the account ironically, in the same way High School Stewie Griffin uses his Myspace page.

Great episodes for John Corbett and Rosemarie DeWitt, lots to do and I particularly enjoyed Max settling a score, so to speak, with Tara's dad when they left.

One more thing ... I know that we now know that Tara was raped at boarding school, but I don't think that's what set off her disorder. And I think we're yet to find out exactly what that is.

And I think it's gonna have something to do with those parents of hers. Imagine thinking they could just take the kids. And what the hell would they do with gay Marshall and post-relationship, just hookups Brie?

2 Clips -- Secret Diary Season Finale & Win a Season One DVD!!!

So we come to the end of this season and Hannah turns out to be so much less competent than alter ego, call girl Belle at, well ... everything.

Girl just can't be a regular girl. Doesn't know how. She can't even dress well unless she's seeing a client -- have you looked at some of the clothes she's worn on dates with Alex the anesthesiologist? The Flashdance-inspired get up at the movies was particularly bad.

On another note, it does bother me a bit that we don't get any reason why this young woman has such a problem with intimacy.

I remember how she told us in the premiere that she wasn't abused and she wasn't an addict, but when you take a hard look at the character she's not really that sympathetic. Ben's right in his rant in the last ep, she takes and takes.

I hope in upcoming episodes (and I believe season three is in the can) we find just a little bit more out about this family of hers that she can't stand to be with. Gotta be something there.

If I could cut one scene from that last episode it would be the copying machine sequence. She can't make copies? Really? Stealing a scene from the movie 9 to 5? How very retro.

(I want to note that this last episode is the only one written by a man and one of only two scripts so far in the series not written by creator Lucy Prebble.)

And Alex is quite the sanctimonious prig, but he's Catholic (I'm pretty sure), he's never gonna be able to handle the dichotomy. In my experience Catholics have a problem with the Madonna/whore thing. And this is with an actual whore, so what are his chances, really?

But Belle will be Belle, and even after she's back with Alex for one more chance in this Sunday's season ender, Hannah is gonna be tempted to let Belle out one more time.

Big payday, plum assignment ... what's a girl to do?

I have a clip after the jump. But first ...

FREE STUFF ALERT!!!

The lovely people at Showtime Networks want to thank all of you for watching this seasonof Secret Diary of a Call Girl, but they can't give you all a DVD of season one so they're letting me pick one person who will get it.

The only restriction on this one is you can't be related to me and you have to be a US resident.

Simple question -- On what network does Secret Diary of a Call Girl air in Britain? 

First commenter with the correct answer wins a season one DVD box set of the show.

Thanks, Showtime.

Showtime's Tara Renewed, "Marshall" Interviewed at AfterElton.com

Of course, Marshall is Keir Gilchrist, the youngest Gregson and maybe the most self-aware gay teen every seen on television. He's pictured above with Toni Collette as Alice, the Douglas Sirk-inspired alter of Tara's.

I'm pretty sure this character is the most uncomplicatedly gay teen you've ever seen; his family is cool with him (even his dad the landscaper), he doesn't seem to have issue pursuing this very cute young man he has a crush on, the "born again" Jason (Andrew Lawrence, image right), brother of Joe and Matthew) and even though the Doctor Who poster on his wall disappeared between the pilot and the second episode (for shame!) he's a sci fi geek so what's not to like?

Gilchrist talked to Michael Jensen at AfterElton.com and shared the story about how co-star John Corbett found out that Marshall (his character's son) was gay:

As for Max his dad and Kate his sister, Gilchrist says, “Other characters like, I think Max – it was funny, John in real life didn’t realize my character was gay until we had already shot the pilot and we got it and he went, ‘Marshall’s gay?’ I was like, ‘Yeah, it says so!’ He’s like, ‘Oh, really, I didn’t even know.’ So that was kind of funny. So I guess his character sort of just kind of shrugs the shoulders and I think there is actually a really nice moment in one of the episodes in which he does sit down with Marshall and it’s kind of – not come out, but it’s like, lay it on the table, ‘I’m gay.’"

If you recognize Gilchrist, it's maybe because you saw him in the sadly short-lived Fox comedy The Winner with Rob Corddry.

The second season will start shooting this Summer for early 2010, but we have a long way to go before that. Coming up, Tara's parents, played by Fred Ward and Pamela Reed, come to visit but will set in motion something that I'm pretty sure (just speculation) will bring out some more of Tara's alters. At least the one that ruined her mural should show up.

And I think we'll get some answers about what happened to Tara that led to this. In fact, I think we already see why Tara's Dissociative Disorder reared its head when we watch this clip after the jump. Listen to what her dad has to say to Max.

Sunday, 10, Showtime.

(And, you know, it says at the Showtime site that you can watch the upcoming episode at Sho on Demand, but not on my cable system. How about yours?)

United States of Tara Preview Video -- Tara Likes NPR, T Not So Much

Right at the end of the clip, you can see it happen. Very subtle, which I certainly prefer over what could have been a very effects-intensive transformation that would have completely undermined the style and sensibility of the show.

You can't go all Quantum Leap on the changes Tara goes through, it wouldn't fit.

(Though it was very effective, for the time, on Quantum Leap. Ah, Bakula in his prime, huh?)

At the end of the last episode I was just about convinced that it was Charmaine who effed up Tara's mural. In the first clip, however, husband Max doesn't seem to buy that and the altercation that follows brings on T, the slutty teen alter, who now has the car keys, the car but doesn't seem interested in listening to public radio.

I would betcha she's a metal chick. Her hair references my friend Janet's from the mid-eighties.

I was reading a piece somewhere online about the show and it was said that before the end of this season we'll find out what it was that lead to Tara's multiple personality disorder. I think history will tell us a lot about Tara, Max and Charmaine and we'll look back on this episode differently after.

Not that I've see it yet -- this one I watch with you guys -- the DVD from Showtime only provided the first four.

There's this from TV Guide, which is spoiler free, btw:

At least one of the show's writers had her fingers crossed for a Season 2 — and not just because she likes her job. "We really had a hard time putting everything we wanted to do [with the series] in 12 episodes — and that's not always the case!" Alexa Junge told TVGuide.com at the series' outset. "[Tara's] got a good story to tell, and we're just getting rolling here."

In the second clip, Max and Charmaine are out looking for T. Listen to them, they have history. History that is yet to be revealed.

Tonight at 10 on Showtime, and stay tuned for Billie and Secret Diary afterwards.

Video -- BBC Picks Up Series Two of Beautiful People, Will US Pay Cable Come Calling?

Hey, people at Showtime, I think this would be very nicely paired with series three of Secret Diary on a Sunday night this fall, don't you?

BBC Press Office:

Beautiful People, the comedy series inspired by the eccentric childhood of style guru Simon Doonan about growing up in suburban Reading, has been recommissioned for BBC Two.

The series gained wide critical acclaim, and featured a cast that included Olivia Colman, Meera Syal, Aidan McArdle and Samuel Barnett.

It also brought together youngsters Luke Ward-Wilkinson and Layton Williams who stole the screen as the teenage Simon and his best friend Kyle – better known as Kylie.

Writer Jonathan Harvey said: "I am thrilled that the BBC has faith in a show which struck a chord with so many. I can't wait to get back to spending time with a group of such lovable characters again."

As my Facebook friend and the show's executive producer Jon Plowman says in the same release, "I'm jumping up and down that this musical comedy memoir will get a chance to entertain even more people in the forthcoming series."

A musical highlight from the first series of the show after the jump. And let's all get to work trying to convince a US broadcaster to get this to us, okay?

And if you need to find someone at Showtime to bug, bug Robert Greenblatt, this is right in his wheelhouse.

The clip, it's after the jump. And it's genius. Great show, a mold-breaker even.

Video -- The Tudors Season Three Trailer, Brand New

Have at it, gang, this one's all for you.

LINK

Before Tomorrow's Secret Diary, Let's Check in With Ben & Bambi

They apparently hire out the same exact personal videographer to show up where they are, Bambi sitting in garish opulence in a room that you expect Donald Trump to walk through, and Ben laying around on his couch while that pain in the ass Vanessa (have we even see her yet?) is off getting limber.

And then the guy edits the stuff, escapes the fiction London that is on TV and uploads the thing to YouTube for you and me.

(Yes I get stuck in the abyss between TV world and real world, too. I blame Andy Richter. When I watched Andy Richter Controls the Universe, I really thought he did.)

I'd lay around on Ben's couch. I know, he's not asking. So?

And, I use the same lube as Bambi and Belle. And I mention that because I missed National TMI Week.

LINK

After the jump, Hannah gets the knock on the door Belle fears most, especially when it's the wife of a Member of Parliament.

And she's pissed.

Sunday, 10:30, Showtime.

Video -- Tonight on United States of Tara, Marshall Talks Literary Boners

Guest star Tony Hale plays Marshall's English teacher and discusses the symbolism of the walking stick in the novel their studying.

Of course, Marshall's young and all walking sticks look like boners to him. Did to me at that age, too.

Is it any surprise to you that Marshall's favorite alter is Alice, the exacting homemaker and strident parent?

I'm waiting for the episode where Marshall and Alice fold dinner napkins into swans and discuss the relative merits of creme fraiche.

Keir Gilchrist, btw, is the kid who played opposite Rob Corddry in the very good short-lived The Winner on Fox. Yes, I enjoyed it a lot. I wrote about the show at this link.

He's very good here.

Clip after the jump. Tara tonight at 10 after The L Word and before Secret Diary of a Call Girl on Showtime.

The L Word Spinoff Sends NPR Alice to Prison: Old News or New Spin?

Just a moment of silence for Jenny Schecter, okay?

No? Because you hated her? That's fine too.

(Not you Mia, just the character.)

So, what do you think about the proposed Leisha Hailey spinoff coming after this final season of The L Word on Showtime?

Let me particularly ask the lesbians out there, does the fact that the spinoff is taking Alice to prison a bit of old news? After all, some of the first films and TV episodes that showed lesbians in any light in the media were set in prison.

The network's Robert Greenblatt talked to Entertainment Tonight about the spinoff:

"We have been mysterious about the concept," continues Greenblatt. "One of the characters from 'The L Word' actually goes to prison. The show then goes to prison with a largely new cast. I would say it is not only lesbian characters; it is a big group of characters."

Although the "women in prison" genre in film and on television has been known for its campy value, the new show promises "a grittier look; it is not as dark as 'Oz.'"

Greenblatt adds that the spinoff is anchored by Leisha Hailey, who plays bisexual NPR journalist Alice Pieszecki on "The L Word," and there are three guest stars in the pilot: Melissa Leo, Famke Janssen and Laurie Metcalf.

Great list of guest stars, huh? Melissa Leo just wowed the crowds in the film Frozen River, Laurie Metcalf makes everything better and if I'm a lesbian checking into the big house I wanna see Famke Janssen when I walk in.

The show is tentatively being called The Farm. And btw, just because it stars the woman who plays Alice doesn't mean that Alice is the murderer. There are a lot of people in jail for murders they didn't commit.

Still, it feels at first glance like an old story retold. Will it be told in a different way this time? Greenblatt promises so, and I guess he hasn't let the fans down yet, so we'll watch and see.

Alice the NPR journo going to jail for a murder she may or may not have committed reminds me of Jodie Foster in the Neil Jordan film The Brave One.

After the jump a preview of this week's show, Alice and Tasha go to couples' therapy.

Video -- The L Word Countdown to Premiere and Shane Has Some 'Splainin' To Do

'Cause she was bad. Watch. The final season of this groundbreaking Showtime series starts tonight at 9 with special guest Lucy Lawless, truly the most inspired casting that many of her fans will just love.

LINK

Video -- Billie Piper Does a US Talk Show (but it's Carson Daly, at 1:35 am)

So I have the clip from YouTube user BilliePiperFan82, who you should all go and thank in the comments on this clip.

Secret Diary premieres Sunday at 10:30, Showtime.

LINK

Video -- Billie Piper is IN! Says Daily Mail, Soccer Wife Beckham OUT!!! Secret Diary Returns Sunday

Well, I'm with that!

This is what Clare Coleman says in her piece today in the UK paper, which starts:

It's no coincidence that M&S is closing some of its swanky food stores at the same time that Greggs and Domino's Pizza are announcing a leap in sales.

Whether or not you're being crunched by the crisis, there's something a bit tacky about ostentatious consumption.

And of course, Billie is working, and working it in the new series of Secret Diary of a Call Girl which starts back up this Sunday at 10:30.  Coleman continues:

IN: Billie Piper

Our new heroine; she dresses down and seems more interested in work and family than fashion.

OUT: Posh

Oh VB, you were the ultimate aspirational icon, but now we're just starting to resent your Birkins bags.

But Billie's not interested in working the press in the US, apparently, as the series picks up this weekend on Showtime. I was kind of hopeful when I saw images in the British press of Billie and Laurence and baby Winston in Miami that she might do a US press tour.

I just don't get why the networks, cable or otherwise, that are carrying British fare don't bring their folks over for a press tour, at least for the premiere week if not more. How are people gonna know if Ellen or Bonnie of even Matt Lauer don't tell them?

They just might have to ... gasp! ... read this blog. But I know how many of you are reading and it's really really not enough.

(I was just thinking about how much Lauer would enjoy meeting Billie, she's just his type. He would be stammering and falling all over himself.)

Anyhow, there's a new preview clip after the jump. This is from the premiere, as Belle has a "date" with a guy named Alex. The problem is that it's a common name. Oops.

Both Alexes will be an issue for Hannah/Belle as the series progresses.

Sunday night, 10:30, after Tara, on Showtime.

Wedding Bells -- "Dexter" and "Debra" Get Married

Now that would be a twist that the show would need a lot of episodes to explain. But no, this happened in real life over the holidays and Michael C. Hall (who I thought was still married to his wife that he did Chicago with a few years ago) and Jennifer Carpenter are indeed married people.

To each other.

And it's not weird because they only play siblings on TV.

But it still feels a little weird because we don't know them from anything but our televisions.

AP via HuffPo:

They'll walk the red carpet together at the Golden Globe Awards on Sunday,  the first time publicly acknowledging their relationship.

Hall, 37, and Carpenter, 29, just finished the third season of "Dexter," the Showtime series in which Hall plays the murderous title character. They've been quietly dating for about a year and a half.

At their wedding, Carpenter's grandfather's wedding band was attached to her bouquet of white roses.

In other news, Susan Dey and David Cassidy are dating.

Kidding.

Wow, they were dating really REALLY quietly. 

Congrats!