IAmATVJunkie.com got a new series of Torchwood as an early X-mas gift!

USA's White Collar Fall Season Ends Friday After Monk Series Finale

These are a few of my favorite things ... New York City and Matt Bomer, what a combo. They are both stunning.

Of course, fans of NBC's Chuck, returning January 10, found out about Bomer two years ago in his fleeting role as Bryce Larkin, the guy who got young Mr. Bartkowski ejected from Stanford and then implanted him with the intersect.

This year Bomer took the lead in White Collar (he talks about the show with his costars here in a Hulu clip), a perfect role for him and his blue eyes, his charm and that remarkable sly smile. Mmmmm.

Sorry, I drifted there for a moment.

And, he can act. The action stuff he handles with ease as well. But, like the promos say, he indeed is "all blue eyes and charm." It's almost as if Neal Caffrey, art forger, con artist, all around grifter with a missing girlfriend and a new lease on life as an FBI consultant, was created just so he could play him.

More after the jump.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig -- World's Collide Edition with Joel McHale, 1000th Ep Tweet-A-Thon

You know how you think that all your favorite TV people probably live near each other and hang out together? Well, in this case it's true.

Revelation: Joel was recently at Craig Ferguson's home. From what I gather from Tuesday's show they live in the same neighborhood. No stalking of Craig or Joel allowed, however. Stressed people are not as funny and I don't need to know them, I just need them to be funny on my teevee.

I love when my TV worlds collide.

Joel interview parts one and two here, email segment here. (Hover over the filmstrip graphic and Apture will bring it to you).

Significant email segment here, it provides English usage education and reference to Manville, NJ, the SNL/Mike Myers "If it's not Scottish, it's crap" sketch and Craig's comments on Saudi Arabia.

Have at it, and remember that Craig's 1000th episode airs on December 15th. Once again, LipSyncingScot (Malinky2Stoatir at YouTube, the kind soul that provides my Craig clips) and the gang at Facebook are doing a Craig Tweet-A-Thon for that auspicious event.

FB members can click here for the details.

NBC/Comcast Deal Done ... Counting the Days Till Jeff Zucker Gets Fired

UPDATE: When I say done, I mean the deal, not the approval. There still needs to be a few layers of regulatory approval before it's, you know, really done (as in the opposite of rare, which is how I like my steak).

Well c'mon, they already got rid of Bachelor Ben and someone's head is going to roll.

I just hope they don't install Ted Harbert in that position ... if they do Chelsea Handler will be hosting the nightly news, Sunday Night Football, The Biggest Loser, she'll be the dean on Community, the star of another remake of Knight Rider (renamed Night Rider for obvious reasons) and the new official symbol with be a bottle of Grey Goose.

Zucker. Zucker! ZUCKER!!! Look what you hath wrought!

Go to TheWrap.com, and particularly to Joe Adalian's TV Mo Joe blog for details and analysis and Joe's five point plan to begin to turn things around at the network of chimes that teach music theory students intervals (hey, it worked for me).

Those five points from Joe include moving Jay Leno to 8 pm, the aforementioned Zucker point and "spending like a druken sailor." Expect the NBC peacock to get a tattoo that reads "Back From The Dead."

The full press release, for you wonks, is at this link.

The new entity will be called the Comcast Entertainment Group and will include, besides all the NBC properties the E! and Style cable network, regional sports channels they have across the country, Versus (known almost exclusively for their NHL deal and bicycle races) and The Golf Channel, known primarily for showing you men in madras pants walking along on the grass and hitting a little tiny ball with a stick.

(With the Tiger Woods revelations this week, I betcha The Golf Channel is worth less today than it was before "the incident" and its fallout. Ouch -- on two levels.)

Unexpected surprise of all this for me is that it positions Comcast to take a run at the Disney/ABC owned ESPN, what with the regional sportsters, their two other sports cablers, the power of NBC Sports and the ramping up of the Universal Sports brand. That's something to look at in the future.

And bagging Bravo, USA and Syfy (they are responsible for about 50 percent of all cable TV viewing) is a coup.

Of course, any media consolidation, in my book, is bad for the viewers. Less choice means fewer points of view. And there's always the danger of Rachel Maddow at MSNBC (yes, that's part of the deal as well) having to take on a drunk, blonde slut as a co-host.

And Chuy, too? Yes, boys and girls, Chuy too. But that would probably make Zucker happy, he'd no longer be the shortest guy in the company.

More details as shakeout, the eventual merging and eventual firing occur.

Video -- Hey America, Have a Happy Happy Brian Williams-versary!

Congrats to pizza-eating Brian Williams, American's funniest network news anchor. No, Katie, it's not you. You might be perky but Williams is the man when it comes to breaking out of the anchor role and having some fun.

Five years ago today BriWi (I get my free BriWi whenever I'm at Panera, all you need is a laptop) sat in Brokaw's chair and since then he's looked you straight in the eye and told you everything GE wanted you to know about what's going on in the world.

(Yes I do believe GE has plenty of sway over content, maybe not on a daily basis, but such is the way of the mainstream media circa 2000 plus. Maybe they don't handpick stories but they place the people who do in those positions for a reason. It's just the way of the world, kids. And, they'll deny it up and down but ... I stand by that.)

Check out the Brian Williams NBC timeline at this link.

Check out Brian on SNL at this link.

I would love to bring you a BriWi Daily Show clip, but their website is currently experiencing douchebaggery (technical difficulties). But go there later in the day and check something out.

In the meantime, more of Brian from SNL after the jumperoni from Hulu, the digital short "Brian Williams' Diary."

Go Jersey!!!

Today Show Video -- Family Ties Star Meredith Baxter: "I'm A Lesbian"

 

And not only did she come out in an interview this morning with Matt Lauer, she spoke so eloquently about our civil rights, marriage, visibility and about her own coming to terms with her sexuality.

But why should I tell you more when you can see it for yourself? Click over the jump and watch the interview.

Thank you, Meredith for standing up for yourself and tangentially for all of us.

Love is love, period.

Jane Curtin Added to David Tennant NBC Pilot (oh, and Mohinder from Heroes)

LOVE HER!!!

From the Hollywood Reporter comes news that she is cast in Rex Is Not Your Lawyer as DT's mom and mentor, a prominent law professor.

I can't wait for the exchanges of snappy dialogue between the two. They should make outstanding scene partners. She also ends up falling in love with Rex's psych, played by Jeffrey Tambor, another great scene partner for Jane.

As for geek heartthrob Sendhil Ramamurthy, from the same source:

Ramamurthy will play an ambitious but good-natured lawyer who was in Rex's shadow until Rex's career switch and whose friendship with Rex becomes complicated when he falls in love with his pal's fiancee (Abigail Spencer).

You might know Spencer from her role in season three of Mad Men as Don's elementary school teacher mistress or the 2006 Lifetime drama Angela's Eyes also from NBC-Uni that lasted one season.

Of course, if Heroes survives, they have first dibs on Sendhil. I can't imagine that happening, though, the show costs too much and the exodus from the audience has been staggering. I broke up with the show four weeks ago and I was a straggler. I hear they killed Nathan last night -- man, he really got the Joey Tribbiani treatment from them. Remember when Joey was on Days Of Our Lives and found out he was fired when he read in the script that he was gonna fall down an elevator shaft? Adrian Pasdar found out he was fired the same way.

But, back to Jane ... I use the phrase "national treasure" very rarely. She is one. SNL, Kate & Allie (still very watchable after all these years), 3rd Rock From the Sun? You just can't argue with the fact that Jane Curtin has been part of our lives and making us laugh since 1975.

Tennant of course is approaching legend status in the UK and he's not even 40 yet. Latest proof of that? The Royal Mint in Britain (and that's not like the Franklin Mint, maker of collectable plates and other mid-priced ephemera here in the States) is issuing a series of medals commerorating Doctor Who, some with Tennant's image as the Tenth Doctor (see image, that's the gold coin which retails for £150.00 but they come in less precious metals, click here to see them all).

Yeah, there's  Dalek coin, too. Now, I love Doctor Who (really love it, as you know by all the posts about the show here) but Daleks have toilet plungers attached to them and I've always found that kinda ... juvenile. 

Two things about DW villianry I never could wrap my mind around are the Dalek toilet plungers and the Rube Goldberg device known as the Cyber-conversion unit. All those whirling blades and such, please.

So, back to Rex ... , we got now a lead actor who is an international TV star, two veteran funny people in Curtin and Tambor who bring it every time and a younger couple that are fresh and shiny and talented .. NBC and Berman-Braun (Lloyd Braun, not the fictional character but the actual TV exec) are loading this up with big talent. 

More after the jumperoo.

Video -- Newly-Manscaped Chuck Returns January 10, Special Messages From Zach Levi & Sarah Lancaster

Very special messages ... so special Zach got a haircut especially for you and Sarah Lancaster (sister Ellie) dressed down for "lounging" and shot a special thank you for fans of the show. You can't beat that with a stick, huh?

But first, lets all click over to Alan Sepinwall and Mo Ryan at their respective newspapers (Newark Star-Ledger, Chicago Tribune) and thank them for being so vocal last Spring during the network upfront period. Seriously, the show might not be back without them, they were instrumental, as well as ChuckTV.net and Zachary-Levi.com who did a bunch of the heavy lifting as well.

(My impassioned plea to keep Chuck on the air appears at this link, and although passionate I don't get anywhere near the page views of the others, but read it still, it was one of my finest moments here at the blog.)

Even better? During their break they got their episode order increased from 13 to 19 episodes, probably a result of new upgraded Chuck Bartkowski's new skills not being able to fit into just a baker's dozen. As you remember the new version of the intersect downloaded into Chuck at the end of last season with brand new features that make him a superman.

Speaking of the Man of Steel, Kristin Kreuk from Smallville shows up as a possible love interest for Chuck, then Brandon Routh from that horrible Superman movie from a couple years ago comes in as a CIA agent to rival, it seem, both Sarah (Yvonne Strahotski Strahovski) and Adam Baldwin's NSA operative John Casey.

Also, guest shots from WWE star Stone Cold Steve Austin (damn, that's good casting) and T2's Robert Patrick.

No new images from this upcoming season yet, but feel free to enjoy the Chuck/Sarah image above and the clips after the jump.

TV.com on a Heroes' Death -- Big Huge Spoiler (about a show I no longer watch)

Tim Surette has all the details, I'll excerpt him with the exception of the name of the actor and the role he plays, but it is someone in the image above (and not Hayden, which is the image TV.com used for some reason):

According to the site, blankblankblank who plays blankblankblank, has been "let go" (a nice way of saying "kicked to the curb and left to die a slow impoverished death").

E! Online, which broke the initial mystery-death report, says blankblankblank is ticked off about the decision and found out about it the hard way: by reading an upcoming script.

(snip)

So why kill blankblankblank now? Some say it's for budgetary reasons, but it seems more like the writers backed themselves into a corner and just needed to end this storyline.

Harsh, huh? Well, blankblankblank should have considered the tales of Jess Alexander and Jeph Loeb, producers/writers that got the very public heave-ho last year. They don't play nice on Heroes, it must be all the ill will that comes with watching your hit show go to shit.

Here's the link to Tim's piece, click at your own peril.

The Onion's AV Club tears apart the latest episode at this link.

The spoiler I want to read about is the one that tells me exactly what happened that turned this TV phenomenon into the most discouraging reminder of how broadcast TV can fail in recent memory. I think it might be time to add Heroes to a list that includes both Supertrain and Manimal, classic NBC flops from the Fred Silverman and not Ben Silverman era.

(Yes, I know, Fred inherited Supertrain from his predecessor ... but he didn't have to run the damned thing. And, Silverman, if you're out there reading, I haven't even touched the TV crime that was Pink Lady & Jeff, so you better just sit there and take it. TAKE IT I SAY!)

David Tennant Starring in US Pilot for NBC? OMG!!!

He smiling at me, not at you. I'm talkin' to you, Zoe Louise!

The big big news from BBC.com, because I figure they have more of the inside scoop:

The former Doctor Who will star as a top Chicago lawyer who suffers from panic attacks and coaches his clients to represent themselves in court.

The NBC hour-long show is titled Rex Is Not Your Lawyer.

Nice premise for him. I guess he'll be yet another Brit coming across the pond with a US accent in his mouth. That's the only shame of it, I love Tennant's native Scottish accent which you hardly ever hear short of interviews.

And, though it's not a film, and it's been bandied about since the announcement that he's be leaving Doctor Who that he left to pursue a film career, it works for me. TV comes right to my house, movies require driving and drinking expensive soft drinks.

More from Nellie Andreeva at the Hollywood Reporter:

NBC greenlighted the project in August, about two years after it was first developed, and had been trying to find a lead actor for several months until Tennant came along and nailed the part.

Tennant, a theater and TV actor, rose to fame playing the mysterious alien time-traveler at the center of "Doctor Who" for the past five years. His performance as the Doctor has been often rated as the top in the franchise's 46-year history.

Tennant's casting is reminiscent of the tapping of another established British TV actor with virtually no American TV experience, Hugh Laurie, as the lead on Fox's medical drama "House."

Tennant, who co-starred in "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire," recently signed with UTA. He's also repped by U.K.'s Independent Talent Group.

There's still the issue of the Doctor Who movie, and that requires some coordination with the Billie Piper schedule, and I'm still on it like paparazzi on an Olsen twin.

I worry about it being for NBC. Didn't Steve Moffat tell Tennant how NBC treats the talent? He knows, he should have shared. Maybe it was just too good to turn down.

It's from Berman/Braun. I, of course, can't think about "Lloyd Braun" without remembering how many computers he sold for George Costanza's father.

And thank you, Jennifer, for the heads up.

Not to Pile On, But I'm Breaking Up With Heroes

I'm done. It's over.

And, I don't even have to tell you all why, which is just lovely because the more I think about it the more annoyed I am with myself about sticking with it so long.

I will say this ... you know how stimulant users love that first line or bump or pill or ... whatever? I think I've kept watching Heroes after season one in the same way stimulant users are always chasing that first outstanding, live-changing high that they got from that first time.

Ever since, it's just not been the same. In fact, much like the stimulant user, I've just been pissed at myself at the end of most episodes after the first year because it could never "get me high" the way it once did.

My apologies if anything I said here guided you down the same road.

Bye cheerleader. Bye, Senator. Bye, crazy then not crazy then crazy again watch repair technician.

Bye cutie nurse/paramedic. Bye Company Man. Bye pretty effed up mom with the dreams.

Bye Rob Buckley fave Ali Larter (who's been so many things I'd have to give her her own paragraph if I was being fair ... oh, but wait, I already did give her her own paragraph).

And, btw, I think I'm leaving just ahead of the whole thing going away, anyway.

Two weeks. I give it two weeks.

Video -- SNL: People Do Love 'Em

You know ... weiners. I mean, have you seen this thing called the Internet?

It's full of 'em. And as long as I don't run across Larry King's weiner I'll continue to be interested in them, too.

LINK

Other NBC Comedies Benefit From Pam & Jim's Wedding (but are nicer and kinder and I like them more)

As you may remember, I broke up with The Office this season. Unlike many people who break up with others, I didn't see fit to continue to honor my commitment to attend Pam and Jim's wedding last night, so I just stayed out of the way.

(The picture? I thought you guys might like it. Always thinking of you.)

(I'm sure it wasn't so incredibly cringeworthy as usual -- of maybe not, who can tell -- but I figure you should only show up to the party if you put in the time and I hadn't so I just watched infoMania from current on my DVR during that time).

However, I did catch up with Parks & Recreation and with Community (now at its new 8 pm slot on NBC Thursday) and there were some really funny bits and some lovely moments. I have clips after the jump.

I was reminded of such when I read TV.com's Conor Griff today in a piece titled, "Parks and Recreation: Too Good for Deathwatch" which also mentions our friends at TV By the Numbers today:

It's possible that audiences have dismissed Parks and Recreation after its inconsistent start last season. I was skeptical at first, because it seemed to be an inferior carbon copy of The Office. But I was wrong, and since it returned a month ago, every episode has been great. While P and R does use the same documentary-style format as The Office, and a shared sense of humor, the shows are very different. Amy Poehler's character of Leslie Knope is not a female version of Michael Scott, and the tone of the show, unlike The Office, stays away from "look how stupid these people are."

Instead, the tone is more "look how mean these people are," in the vein of Arrested Development or It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. And that tone is actually better! Last night's episode started with a politician confessing to an affair. "All I can say is, I wasn't just having sex," he says, "I was making love. To a beautiful woman. And her boyfriend. And a third person whose name I never learned. Furthermore, it was wrong for me to say I was building houses for the underprivileged, when I was actually having four-way sex in a cave in Brazil." This incites a contest at the Parks department to see who can dig up the most dirt on a co-worker. It turns ugly quickly and hilariously.

Go there and read the rest, it's a good piece.

And about those ratings, click over to TVByTheNumbers.com for all that statistical goodness.

Community actually gave me an ah-ha moment last night with Abed's explanation why he waited 26 hours for the test he was recruited for by Annie. He makes complete sense to me now.

It was a warm moment in an NBC comedy, which thanks to the events on P&R discussed above by  me and TV.com isn't as rare as it used to be.

I get that it's the comedy meme of the decade, the cringe-inducing thing and all, I just don't love it all that much.

Watch the Abed revelation and the Officer Dave scene from the end of Parks & Rec that matched it in that lovely, gooey warmth (ew, did I say that?) after the jump.

Louis C.K. is a great addition to the show, even if he's only recurring. And the Mark Sanford-inspired Parks & Rec subplot featuring the councilman was genius.

Hey gang, 30 Rock returns in less than a week now. Are you kvelling? Me too.

Pres. Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize, Not That NBC's Today Show Would Let Me Enjoy It (even for a moment)

Note: I'm in the Pacific time zone and I was watching what they made a point of calling "a west coast edition of Today at 7 am."

So, what I first saw was Meredith and Matt in the studio and then a quick throw to Gregory and this, below.

LINK

If Matt Lauer ever starts a sentence with the words, "Not to be rude here, but ..." leave the room, 'cause nothing nice is gonna be said about you or anyone else.

And Lauer, one more thing, about your being of the mind that this Nobel Peace Prize is a double-edged sword ... first of all, it's a peace prize, would you prefer he won a war prize? And even more more thing ... people who would complain about a President of the United States seeking peace are crazy people not worth our attention.

Since when is seeking peace not a good thing?

And now the biggest thing ... Barack Obama could invent a way that only Republicans would be able to shit $50 bills out their asses and Republicans would complain that they weren't $100 bills.

Give me a fuckin' break. Then Lauer says, "Nobel Prize isn't getting healthcare passed." No one said it was, asshole.

Did you wake up with a smaller penis than yesterday, Matt?

Just for a couple minutes I wanted to enjoy that someone said something nice about the President, who shares my international worldview, and so in turn I felt the world was saying something nice about my international worldview.

Just a couple minutes to enjoy that, that's all I wanted.

And, while all kinds of member of Congress with "R"s after their names are going overseas and breaking that tradition that partisanship ends at our own borders it was nice to see that it wasn't taken too seriously by people you can respect.

And don't get me wrong here, I don't think he really deserves this yet, either. There's still no habeus corpus at Bagram, Gitmo is not yet closed and there's talk of lots more troops in Afghanistan and I mean "Shinseki at the beginning of Iraq"-style numbers.

I think if the Nobel committee could have given the award to the American people who voted for Barack Obama they would have. I think the intention, whether mentioned or not, was to encourage the goals and desires that Obama and his supporters embraced during the campaign.

(I also believe that a country with a long and troublesome history of race relations finally elected an African-American President and that might have had something to do with the decision.)

If that's true, Obama's acceptance of this award as a call to action for all nations to work toward the goals for peace and nuclear disarmament is an appropriate response.

Watch your President humbly accept the honor in the CNN clip after the jump, with thanks to Talking Points Memo and their YouTube acct.

Talking trash about this turn of events, though, is akin to those people in that astroturf group Americans for Prosperity funded by the Koch brothers cheering when Chicago didn't get the Olympics.

Email/Facebook Money Scam: To My Readers, Facebook Friends and Email Buddies ...

I have not sent you any emails about being in London or anywhere else and that I need money to get home.

Your other friends probably haven't either.

I mean, what are the chances? Think, people, THINK! Or at least make a phone call to verify!

Please consider these email scams with due dilligence. Watch the Today show clip below and act accordingly.

LINK

Video -- Scarlett Jo (Mrs. Reynolds) on SNL With Fred Armisen & Porcelain Fountains

The latest in the series of commercial parodies from Fred Armisen, who as I've said a bunch of times grew up in my hometown, Valley Stream, New York.

First it was chandeliers, then it was columns and now, porcelain fountains.

And Scarlett looks and sounds like many of the young women with whom we went to Central High School.

And there's more, Ryan Reynolds comes along as the son-in-law who installs them. Watch it, don't miss it, after the jump.

The Wrap's Adalian on NBC Affiliate Late News and "The Leno Effect"

Great minds think alike.

Here's what Joseph Adalian is saying today at TheWrap.com with stats on NBC affiliate late news in the top five metered markets:

While it's still too early to draw many hard-and-fast conclusions about how Jay Leno at 10 is impacting NBC overall, premiere week ratings suggest the Peacock's bold move did no favors to the network's local newscasts.

Data from Nielsen's top five markets-- New York, LA, Chicago, Philadelphia and Dallas -- show NBC stations all saw their 11 p.m. newscasts drop by double digits during the first week of the 2009-10 season.

Clearly, that's not a good thing. But it's also no reason for anyone at the Peacock to panic, or rival stations to party. At least not yet.

Of course, I spent much of the Summer questioning the Leno move and its effect on those stations' late newscasts, but apparently those guys in the black tower in Universal City weren't reading this blog.

More after the jump.

Report: Comcast in Talks to Buy NBC-Universal

It's late, I'm tired, so I'm sending you over to read Sharon Waxman's report at TheWrap.com, which is also home to our friend and TV-MoJoe blogger Joseph Adalian, who I'm sure will be following this story like a paparazzi follows Britney.

Apparently GE is tired of the network weighing down their balance sheet. Shoulda thought about that when you made a show marketer your programming chief. Stupid move, that was.

I'll keep you in the loop.

Instructions: Click Gawker Link Below, Read, Nod Your Head in Agreement

Because they've absolutely right.

Click here.

Hat tip to my pal Jeff G.

Video -- These Law & Order Fans Aren't Counted By Nielsen?

What? No canine demographic? No wonder all the networks are trying to get together and create a new method for TV metrics.

From Current TV's infoMania, Thursdays at 10 eastern, check your cable grid because it replays often. How often? It's playing in my head right now, that's how often.

Good morning TV junkies ... and you too, dogs of America. And please send Homer (above) a people meter, he feels left out.

SNL Newcomer Jenny Slate Pulls a Charles Rocket (though I didn't hear it)

I didn't hear it because they did some quick looping before the show's West Coast airing and the word "fucking" became "freaking" in the sketch Biker Chick Chat.

Rocket, who ended his own life in 2005 dropped an F-bomb in the closing moments of the Charlene Tilton-hosted episode in 1980 (very poor quality YouTube clip at this link).

The sketch can't be found on the SNL website or Hulu. What a coinkeedink, huh?

Lorne has power.

Anyway, it's a shame because it's her first time out and all, but let me quickly remark that neither Michaela not Casey ever dropped an F-bomb on the show.

(Also, Michaela is NOT too pretty to be funny and Casey is not fat. I like them a lot and look forward to their upcoming projects.)

Also not too pretty to be funny and not fat? Megan Fox. So, why did the season premiere suck so hard? Maybe it had something to do with the Thursday primetime half hour sucking up all that time and the good jokes.

I have been trying to find something from last night's show to post, but it's really tough if, you know, you have standards. Wow, what a sucky season premiere.

Not that it had anything to do with the new women on the show, Slate and Nasim Pedrad. In fact, with Fox hosting and eating up all the female characters with Kristin Wiig, neither got a chance to do much.

Watch Megan's monologue after the jump. The digital shorts were terrible, the Russian bride sketch was all Fred Armisen and the flight attendant bit was kinda lame. So, you get the monologue.

At least she looks pretty. And the monologue is okay, she takes on the naked Internet pics issue with some aplomb.

Video -- Community: So It's the Bill Murray Role, As Long As It Isn't One I've Seen Already

I read a couple of reviews of Community before last night's premiere that seemed to speak disparagingly about how Jeff Winger is a role tailor-made for Bill Murray and how in the pilot script there's even a reference to such.

So?

In my book there is absolutely nothing wrong with a new comedy series that serves me up a character that could be considered for the Bill Murray oeuvre, and if someone I really enjoy like TV's Joel McHale is playing that character all the better.

And like all the comedies we love it's not just about Jeff Winger. You can click over the jump for an example of some great ensemble work from the cast (more of that please) and click here for the Bill Murray moment clipped out by Hulu. As usual, after my clip runs you can click the correct link and watch the entire pilot over again if you like.

This is the kind of character comedy that will only get better with time and your familiarity with the relationships. Lower the thermostat on your brain's immediate gratificiation centers and learn how to watch TV again after being fed the tawdry fireworks of reality TV and tabloid-style news coverage and you'll find your way.

Full Episode Video -- SNL: Put Kanye in the Back Row In Between Two Fat Seat Fillers

Really.

And I have notes on the season premiere of Parks & Recreation, so think of this as my one-stop Amy Poehler post for the day.

SNL Weekend Update Thursday hit it out of the park last night from start to stop. From the cold open (can you imagine a trip to the toilet made South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson a reluctant hero of the crazy crew?) to Bill Hader doing James Carville (the size of his dome was funny all by itself) to Jimmy Carter and Michael Steele and Kristin Wiig taking an enormous risk spoofing Madonna's VMA speech.

I can't decide which clip to run, so the whole show is posted after the jump. US only, sorry everyone else.

Of the returning NBC Thursday shows this was, however, the only one that made me laugh out loud, which I miss. Thursdays used to be a more joke-driven night of comedy on the network, now they just except us to giggle uncomfortably at people not doing their jobs very well or acting foolishly.

For me, that's not comedy. That's my personal life. I always giggle uncomfortably when I run into someone that doesn't do their job well, followed usually by me finding someone else to do said job.

Having said that, last night's Parks & Recreation, which I almost didn't watch after being so disappointed with the last four episodes of it's trial last spring, was better. And yeah, I watched because I wanted to see what the gay bar in Pawnee, Indiana looked like.

Looked like a gay bar in the Valley I went to by accident 47 times in 1996.

What was better about the episode? More open, less documentary-like, and a much more likeable Leslie Knope. You really have to like the lead character and last year that was a problem because she made loads of bad decisions in each episode and you can't like someone that's so remarkably bad at managing her work and personal life.

It's the problem I have with Michael Scott on The Office. After a while you just wanna smack him around, and that doesn't make for a fun half hour.

Hulu brings you last night's SNL half hour after the jump. And, bonus!, a Parks & Recreation clip after the jump featuring my Facebook friend Mo Collins (Mad TV) as well. Have at it.

Video (US Only, Sorry UK) -- Susan Boyle on America's Got Talent Singing Wild Horses

No clip at NBC.com, no on YouTube, but for those of us handy with the Hulu.com clip editor it's a cinch.

Includes the pre-song interview package before her performance.

And it's after the jump.

Pre-order her album from Amazon by clicking the icon below. After the clip is finished you can click around the Hulu window and watch the whole 2-hr. finale. Winner was Kevin Skinner, singer/guitarist who we clipped out previously at this link.

Video -- "Low Talker" Wentworth Miller on His SVU Guest Role

Yes, Wentworth Miller (top of post from an earlier time) is a "low talker." If you don't listen really carefully you may end up on the Today show wearing The Puffy Shirt.

Beware.

I know my fellow gays are all agog over the former Prison Break star. I always thought it was about the prison setting for the show and c'mon, how much gay porn is set in the county lockup? We've been programmed to think that it's all kinds of hot orgy action behind bars.

Of course, ask anyone who's been there and they tell a very different story. Because you know, that whole prison fantasy is fine until you're actually there, not in the mood and the guy you're sharing a cell with isn't Hot House exclusive Ross Hurston.

(I'm not linking to Ross, you'll have to Google him yourself. Be warned, it will probably be not suitable for work.)

And personally, if there was anyone to get excited about on Prison Break wasn't it Dominic Purcell (above right)? Did you see Blade: Trinity?

Yowza!

Back to Wentworth, he's a bit more filled out than he was when we first met him. You'll notice that in the clip, it's after the jump. Success does that, and age does its part, too.

The show returns, with Benson and Stabler in tact, NBC, Wednesday the 23rd at 9.

It's not a good time for this show which is basically about sex crimes against women, so if you have a problem with that, blame Jay Leno.

2 Clips -- Jay Leno at 10: Savaged by Critics & Flooded With Lookie-Loos (but these numbers don't really matter)

I say "These numbers don't really matter" because Jay's competition last night was not the same as it will be next week. This week it's the end of Summer reality shows (like the aforementioned Big Brother), specials (like last night's Barbara Walters thing that I didn't even realize was on the air ... funny how you don't know what's gonna be on when you fast forward through all commercials and promos) and reruns.

Starting next week, just about all the 10 pm dramas from ABC and CBS will be new. Private Practice isn't back until the next week but Grey's takes up the 10 pm hour next week with a two-hour premiere that should blow everyone out of the water.

(And next week Jay doesn't get the two-hour Biggest Loser premiere, also running against Summer shows, as a lead in.)

So, among the curious viewers of Jay's first two nights was yours truly. I was of course confused because I was promised new comedy at 10 pm in all those promos and what I got was jokes from a guy whose hair is now completely gray. And the jokes matched the hair on the host.

And the thing with the people sitting in the audience getting to touch the garment of the host, can we do away with that for everything, not just Jay? Because that smacks of a kind of hero worship that I don't think is appropriate. He's a comedian, he's not the Dalai Lama or even Captain Marvel.

Of course, I've never been a fan of the Leno monologue, too many old hands on the script. What is the average age of the guys in the Leno writer's room anyway? I would try to do the math but when you click over the the Leno Show page at IMDB the writers aren't listed.

Other shows writing staffs are listed on the site. Not Jay's.

(Insert joke about how his writers still carve their jokes into stone tablets.)

More after the jump, including the only clip I found to laugh at, from Jim Norton.

Hear It! Susan Boyle's First Single a Rolling Stones Cover, America's Got Talent Appearance (Wednesday?)

Yes, it's a Rolling Stone song, but not Little T & A from Tattoo You. Though that would have been very funny.

No, it's a cover of Wild Horses, a great arrangement and she sounds amazing. You can either click here to listen to it at her new official website or you can click over the jump and hear it here.

Better quality at her site.

And, Susan's here in the States right now prepping for her America's Got Talent appearance this week and I'm sure a bunch of press interviews. She should be all over the place this week, from the Today show to Access Hollywood and I'm checking the late night shows right now, hold on ...

Well, apparently she won't do Conan, Jay or Jimmy. And I'm sure she's not doing Letterman or Craig, or Kimmel.

However, this Monday morning at 4 am eastern in the US, you can click here and be transported to Sir Terry Wogan's BBC Radio Two program where it says on Susan's site he will have "special Susan Boyle surprise."

No, I have no idea what it is.

I'm surprised, actually, that they aren't scheduling Boyle for the Monday edition of AGT which will be the lead in to the first episode of The Jay Leno Show. That would make great sense. Then again, it's NBC. What does good sense have to do with the suits in the tower at Universal City?

Presale numbers for Susan's debut album are outpacing for Jay-Z and Whitney Houston, btw.

I think we can all agree that it would be most entertaining to see Susan interviewed by Wendy Williams. Dontcha think? I hope that can happen while she's here. Susan and Wendy and Wendy's
"How You Doin'" audience? Together?

Now that's television.

Or, have Susan at the MTV VMAs dancing on a pole. Miley danced on a pole during an award show on Fox, why not Susan on MTV?

As if, huh?

SNL Guest Lineup Announced (or, they've stolen my fantasy orgy invite list)

And it's all here in two paragraphs from Variety:

Actress Megan Fox and U2 will give "Saturday Night Live" an attention-getting season opener when it returns on Sept. 26.

(snip)

"Saturday Night Live" will open with four new shows in a row. Ryan Reynolds is the host on Oct. 3, with musical guest Lady Gaga. Drew Barrymore and Gerard Butler are hosts in the following two weeks. Regina Spektor and Shakira bring the music.

See what I mean? Now granted, I usually wouldn't have much time for Drew Barrymore and Regina Spektor at an orgy, but I love Regina's music plus I've never been with a Russian person (it's on "my list") and it's frickin' Drew Barrymore after all and I'm sure we could find a reasonably well-lit corner free of lubricants to sit and have coffee and talk.

Shakira? I'd really wanna see all those body contortions she does in her videos and if they have any, uh, additional uses.

Megan Fox? Yes, I would have sex with Megan Fox. Because for me there's something very male about her (and I'm not talking about those adam's apple shaving rumors). I like her aggressive nature. I like her sense of humor.

Of course, it could just devolve into an oily milleau where Ryan Reynolds, Gerry Butler and I lube up and set about trying to find out if Gaga really has a penis.

Probably would.

Definitely would.

Don't know what I would do with Lady Gaga's "Little Smokie" if I found it, but there's so much talk about it I'm fascinated at the prospect of being the person who breaks the story.

And I guess I should preemptively make amends to Gaga's lovely vagina, per this Australian news report (HipHopRx.com):

Lady Gaga who’s known for her nip-slip moments, bulging undergarments, and more, says her genitals are not taking it kindly to the he-she rumors.

In an interview with Australia’s Nova morning radio station with co-host Meshel, the singer was questioned about whether she had a tiny penis.

Lady Gaga, who’s not shy of sharing the thoughts of her body parts, stated that her beautiful vagina was very offended.

“… I’m not offended—my vagina is offended,” stated Lady Gaga.

Recently Lady Gaga was in the mix of a hermaphrodite rumor after a suspected bulge was seen protruding from her outfit which is nothing new.

I dunno, what does it look like to you? I'm not one for staring at women's crotches, maybe you are. Leave a comment below with your take.

UPDATED: Today Show Video -- Idol. Ellen?

UPDATE: Mike Birbiglia tweeted this post, at this link. Birbigs, you made my day!

Really.

I don't get this.

Why not Howie Mandel? Or Henriette Mantel. Or Mike Birbiglia. Or Shecky Green.

Yes, I checked. Shecky Green is still alive.

What's just weird about this is that now not one of the Idol judges is a trained singer or has had a pop hit as a solo act.

"Those who can't, judge?"

Press release from Fox:

“I could not be more excited to have Ellen join the AMERICAN IDOL family,” said creator and executive producer Simon Fuller. “Ellen has been a fan of the show for many years, and her love of music and understanding of the American public will bring a unique human touch to our judging panel. I can’t wait for this next season to begin.”

 

“We’re all delighted to have Ellen join our ninth season of AMERICAN IDOL,” said executive producer Cecile Frot-Coutaz. “Beyond her incredible sense of humor and love of music, she brings with her an immense warmth and compassion that is almost palpable. She is one of America ’s foremost entertainers, and we cannot wait to have her join our team.”

 

Mike Darnell, President of Alternative Entertainment for FOX added, “We are thrilled to have Ellen DeGeneres join the AMERICAN IDOL judges’ table this season. She is truly one of America ’s funniest people and a fantastic performer who understands what it’s like to stand up in front of audiences and entertain them every day. We feel that her vast entertainment experience – combined with her quick wit and passion for music – will add a fresh new energy to the show.”

Well ... okay. What about knowing something about singing, though?

Am I wrong? Isn't this kinda strange?

Today show report on this development after the jump.

Video -- SNL Firings & Hirings Leave Me Wondering About Nepotism

Okay, what I'm gonna say is not very nice, if you're Abby Elliot, daughter of Chris Elliot, granddaughter of Bob Elliot (of Bob & Ray fame, kids!).

It's also not a nice thing to hear if you're Rumer Willis or Jenna Bush or Luke Russert.

If I ran into any of them, I might, I just might be compelled to say something like, "Hey, nice choice of sperm and egg, it's really getting you somewhere."

I-rony! 

The joke that comes to mind is, "What came first, the nepotism hire or the egg?" 

Why does Abby Elliot get to keep her job on SNL when Michaela Watkins and Casey Wilson don't? What does she have that the others don't? Is it just the famous last name? Does an somewhat passable Angelina Jolie impression really get you a second season on the nation's only late night sketch comedy show?

What of Michaela's great characters from last year, like Arianna Huffington, Alex Forrest from Fatal Attraction, Hoda Kotb ... hey, if Michaela's leaving does that mean we get no 10 am hour of Today sketches with Kristin Wiig as KLG? That sucks. That just sucks!

Besides Jolie, the only thing I can remember Elliot doing this year was a bad Rachel Maddow impersonation. Even worse, it was written for shit, it's like they didn't even bother watching her show before they wrote it, and if Elliot would have been watching Maddow for performance cues she would have noticed and maybe gotten a little rewrite on it.

But it was obvious, especially for those of us who watch Rachel each night, that she hadn't watched much of her subject at all. The voice was off, the tone of her delivery was wrong and she didn't look at all like Rachel. At all.

More, including clips of Michaela from last season after the jump.

Sean Kingston Today Show Video -- Shawty Fire Burnin' on the Rockefeller Plaza Dance Floor

While I'm not the biggest fan of Reggae/Hip Hop Fusion (or either genre, actually) my interest is always piqued when someone not so TV ready has a hit on the pop charts.

Sean Kingston is all of 19 years old, writes and records his own stuff and doesn't have a six pack. No ripply-dipply stomach, no smoky eye liner look, no gold ropes hanging around his neck (except in the cartoon image on the CD cover at the left).

Refreshing!

How'd he do it? You learn a little about that when you watch the interview that comes before this Today show clip of him performing Fire Burning, which will be on his new album that drops this month.

He's a tireless self-promoter is how he did it, btw. Listen to him get the promo in for the new album like a welterweight jabbbing at an the cut over his opponent's eye. If it were a boxing match Lauer would be needing Ferdie "The Fight Doctor" Pacheco.

And, btw, as far as I can tell, no anti-gay lyrics, which seems to be an issue with some reggae/dancehall artists. Like Buju Banton, click here for details.

Watch him after the jump. Happy Labor Day.