I Am A TV Junkie

Alexander Skarsgard, Sounding Only Slightly Like Those Foreign Guys from Family Guy

Warning: If you watch the Skarsgard clip that will pop up when you hover your cursor over the filmstrip graphic or click the link RIGHT HERE you will hear spoilers about the upcoming season of True Blood, returning in June to HBO.

If you don't click it, you'll never truly know how much Skarsgard sounds like those vaguely European guys that Seth MacFarlane uses occasionally on Family Guy, which are in the clip linked HERE.

Part of this blog's initiative to include more clips and less writing by me. Because the clips are what you really want.

Lotsa Clips -- So Much TV Tonight You Need a Professional Schedule Consult?

Not to worry, I've got it handled for you. Above is an image of my living room so I'm all set, but some of you might not have this set up.

First off, if you're watching football on the east coast today just dismiss this whole post. I can't figure out your optimal viewing strategy if you're committed to a show that has no definitive end time.

The big event is of course the Golden Globe Awards on NBC despite the kerfuffle with Dick Clark Productions and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association and between the HFPA and the guy who came forward with allegations of wrongdoing in the organization.

By the way -- and you know I'm serious here because I haven't used the acronym btw -- it cracks me up that once again someone has come forward with allegations against HFPA. Duh, of course there's wrongdoing, we've kinda known that for a long time. Pia Zadora, remember? Sure these people may be lining their pockets and they are also hardly journalists and certainly not at the level of the the people who do that job here in the US. But the Globes is a Teflon brand, nothing sticks and nothing stays, and I think the reason is twofold: 1) The Globes ceremony itself a party-riffic event perfect for TV that NBC wants to hold on to without injury to it, and 2) No one really cares enough to do anything about the irregularities and the allegations of corruption.

Here is the west coast we are enjoying our second year of watching the Globes live (previously only the Academy Awards aired live here), which is fortunate because there is so much more tube to watch tonight.

More after the jumperoo, with clips.

Lost Video -- Jimmy Kimmel's Great Moments in Unnecessary Censorship

Just in case anyone is wondering, that Lost season one DVD set is still sitting on a shelf in my office never having been extracated from the plastic film.

Someday you guys will have nothing to watch, maybe because of a strike or something worse and I'll still have Lost and The Sopranos in my back pocket.

So there.

If you're not a fan of Lost you might as well stay off Twitter today, it's all Oceanic Air all the time over there.

I'll be watching Family Guy's new Star Wars special. Here's a taste of that, click this for it.

CBS Cares (and so do Dr. Werner Schloffengut's Two Fingers) About Your Prostate

Remember the CBS Cares Get a Pap Smear for Christmas (AND Hanukkah) promo?

I guess our prostates don't need a holiday. Just a latex glove and some KY.

Werner (seen above) has performed 9521-1/2 prostate exams.

His message is actually a good one, and if they got me to post it because of the moment pictured above, then I guess it worked.

Watch it by clicking here.

I wonder who the 1/2 was.

Oh right, it was THIS guy (clip).

Shaun White -- Would Love to Do Family Guy, Not So Much Dancing With The Stars

Talking to Marc Malkin at E:

Everyone's favorite ginger mop top also revealed, "I've been hit up by a couple of [television] shows, but I don't know what I'm going to do yet, so I don't want to say anything."

We wouldn't be surprised if Shaun hears from a certain animated series soon after we post this story. "I really like Family Guy," White said. "I love that show. It's unreal." (FYI: He's already got an in—a Family Guy writer wrote the script for his upcoming Ubisoft skateboarding video game.)

But not the dancing show on ABC, apparently. Something about not being stretchy enough and not really being into the costumes.

I get it, Shaun. Totally not my thing, neither. So, how do you write Shaun White into Family Guy? I say you bring back Carl (Jon Benjamin) from the Quahog Mini-Mart who reconnects with his friend Carl, then they double date with Meg and Connie D'Amico, Connie of course paired with the Olympic champion.

And Shaun gets Connie pregnant. Because it's Family Guy. 

Or, Shaun might be up for a little singer-songwriter action on America's Got Talent, he says. Checked YouTube, he hasn't uploaded any vids of his songs. Well, he IS Shaun White, not Rachel from Glee.

Cowell, are you out there? Cowell?

New York Times Prints End of #FamilyGuy Guest Star's #SarahPalin Quote ... Finally!

Because apparently the online world gave them some shit for editing Andrea Fay Friedman's remarks about the episode where she lent her voice to a character who like her has Down's Syndrome.

The article is at this link. It made the front page in Saturday's edition.

I would still love to know who it was that leaked the fact that there was a edited passage of Friedman's email ... was it you? If so, send me a note and tell me why you did it. I won't post your name, I just think it's an interesting story behind a story.

Once again, you can watch that whole episode of Family Guy, the one in question, at this link.

BTW, no new episodes till the middle of March. March? March? MARCH?

WTF? Well I guess I'll just watch reruns. And although I understand not running two new eps during the Olympics it doesn't make me happy. C'mon, it's sweeps, gimme some new TV, and not some dreck like Past Life, which just sucked like a Dyson vacuum.

"My Mother Did Not Carry Me Around Under Her Arm Like a Loaf of French Bread the Way Former Governor Palin Carries Her Son Trig Around Looking for Sympathy and Votes"

Didn't see this line in the header at the NYTimes.com's Arts Beat blog this week? Really? I think we should look into that, don't you? Yes? Good.

Andrea Fay Friedman played Chris' date with Down's Syndrome this past week on Family Guy. Sarah Palin, because everything that happens everywhere is about her, decided that the whole episode of the show was about her and not just that one joke about her being "the daughter of the former Governor of Alaska."

Sarah's been railing, as per usual. And you can't blame her, some people just feel like everything is about them. With the new DSM V coming out I hope we get that diagnosed for her.

Friedman answered questions via email and on the phone for the NY Times' Arts Beat blog about the episode, and said some things that the Times printed, and she said some things the Times (the paper of record) did not.

You can read the stuff they DID print at this link.

The only reason we know about the quote in the headline to this post is that someone at the Times apparently informed the gang at Gawker that there was some editing.

What up, NYT? Are ya scared of the people who support Sarah Palin? Don't you know they don't read the Times in the first place? Now, the publishers of the Pennysaver or Grit Magazine might have a problem alienating this crowd, but you, the Gray Lady?

What a frickin' wuss move on their part. No wonder newspapers are dying, they leave all the good stuff on the editor's office floor!

Watch the entire episode of Family Guy in question and see for yourself if it's stuff to be comdemned or enjoyed? Just click here.

If you just wanna see the musical number, click this link.

I love musical numbers. Yeah, I guess that's a given.

Video -- Stewie Griffin Rips the US Education System and Your Personal Tastes

He's so right.

Still, if you're interested, there's more Thornton Mellon for you by clicking here.

And more Thoreau at Amazon and across the web.

Your choice, you can use technology for good or for evil.

Are You a Fan of Both Family Guy & Doctor Who?

Family Guy VS Doctor Who by *Commander-June on deviantART

Then this is for you. Thanks to Ty Davies and Jill Weiner at Facebook for bringing it to my attention. And great work from "Commander June."

Family Guy Video -- How Many of Us Have Dated THIS Guy?

This is from the first few minutes of the outstanding Family Guy season premiere, Road to the Multiverse, and you should see it especially if you're a fan of Fringe or the multiverse theory or Michio Kaku the string theory specialist ... or a Family Guy fan, natch.

See? I can have a sense of humor about gay jokes, as long as they're funny. It's funny because it's true.

As usual with the Hulu embeds, after you watch the clip you can click the correct link to watch the entire episode, and you should, especially the Disney-inspired musical number in the middle that ends with a Walt Disney joke that you must, MUST, see.

Poor Mort Goldman, always the subject of Walt's disdain.

Speaking of Judaism, next week's episode is called Family Goy. And at the Fox press site I see an image of Peter wearing a tallit and yarmulka, though this website indicates he might be wearing it wrong.

Should be a good one. I hope Adult Swim will eventually run it in tandem with When You Wish Upon a Weinstein, maybe for Purim.

Five Emmy Red Carpet Clips -- Seth MacFarlane, Potty Mouth and More ...

My favorite E! Emmy red carpet moments included:

• Seth Mac Farlane (Family Guy) dropping the F-bombs.
• Lost's Michael Emerson and wife Carrie Preston from True Blood -- that voice isn't put on, he sounds creepy here, too.
• True Blood star Stephen Moyer on proposing to co-star Anna Paquin.
• Olivia Wilde from House looking extraordinary, as usual.
• Jon Hamm (Mad Men) and Jennifer Westveldt, looking like they were plucked off the top of a cake. Like a bride and groom, but there is a shot missing from this interview. At one point on the broadcast they panned from bottom to top on Jon and I swear the cameraman lingered at his crotch. I am not making that up.

All those clips ... after the jump. Sorry about all the pre-roll ads.

Video -- Seth MacFarlane on the Family Guy "Straight to DVD" Abortion Episode

Details on the episode from Hibberd's THR blog (where the clip also originates) include:

• The title of the episode is Partial Terms of Endearment.
• It's not Meg, it's Lois getting the abortion.
• The episode has Lois as a surrogate for a couple who die in a car crash.
• When the couple dies she has the abortion.
• It'll be on the next DVD boxset.

And, it would be nice to see Seth or Alex Borstein or someone connected with creating this episode take their proceeds from it and donate them to Planned Parenthood or some organization that protects doctors from being killed by the lunatic fringe in this country that doesn't appreciate women exercising their rights to manage their own bodies.

They did a table read of the episode this week at an Emmy voter panel for the show. A friend invited me but I couldn't get there. You can go to the Hollywood Reporter TV homepage and see three clips from the table read, however, and you can click over the jump for Seth's comments.

It's been 37 years since Bea Arthur's Maude Findlay had an abortion on that show. I can't come up with any TV series characters since that have opted to exercise their rights in that way.

Video -- Natalie Portman's MakingOf.com Interviews Family Guy's Ricky Blitt, Simpsons' David Silverman

Did you know that Natalie Portman (who I love) had a web venture? It's called MakingOf.com and it's a whole range of showbiz behind-the-scenes stuff, mostly film, but today they post interviews with both The Simpsons' producer David Silverman and former Family Guy scribe and creator of the too-soon-to-leave Fox series The Winner starring Rob Corddry.

And it caught my eye because the web person who does their Facebook presence posted both these clips there today with the headline "Great Debate -- The Simpsons or Family Guy."

Though I love both, I have to say that Seth and gang are so close to my funnybone they can gnaw on it and i's tasty goodness (high fat content, you know).

So, both clips are after the jump, Silverman first, Blitt second.

Note to Ricky Blitt -- Did you ever get a driver's license? The offer still stands for a day of driving you around LA doing errands and talking comedy. I'm up for it, and I'm not someone you have to worry about showing up at your front door with duct tape and my Flintstones boxset.

I can provide references.

Video -- Yea Family Guy: First 'Toon Since The Flintstones to Get Comedy Nom

Seth MacFarlane's gamble pays off. It's been 48 years since The Flintstones on ABC in prime time got a nod for best comedy series.

Quite the feat. You gotta wonder why The Simpsons didn't give it a try. Of course, they are nominated this season in the animated category with another Seth show, American Dad.

Seth also gets a nom for voice acting for the episode I Dream of Jesus (clip after the jump).

He's up against his pal Seth Green, too, who's nominated for the second Star Wars episode of Robot Chicken on Adult Swim.

Nellie Andreeva at THR:

"Family Guy," which made it to the 10 finalists in the category last year but missed the final cut, may have been one of the beneficiaries of the TV Academy's decision to expand the number of nominees in the main categories from five to six this year and get the entire membership to vote on the top categories.

"It's a suggestion that the Academy voters are getting younger and appreciate the fact that animation has come of age and is a genre worthy of respect," TV historian Tim Brooks said. "Until 'The Simpsons' and early 1990s, animation was perceived as a lesser genre, and it's hard to make that argument today."

Brooks is the editor ( with Earle Marsh) of my favorite television reference book, The Complete Directory to Prime Time Network and Cable TV Shows, 1946-Present, which was practically glued to my hands during the 80s. It now has a 2007 update, but I'm waiting a more current edition. Great to have, especially if you're having an argument with someone about who played Earl J. Waggedorn's mother on the Diahann Carroll series Julia in the 60s.

(Yes, I had an argument like that. Only your TV junkie ... and it was Betty Beaird.)

Buy it at Amazon if you can't wait, and if you click the icon below and buy it I can send my dog Homer to acting school with the proceeds. He has his heart set on Stella Adler.

(By the way, and not just because I was an English major, the spelling of the positive exclamation in the headline of this post is correct. Yay is not a word, it's a phonetic spelling. Yay is not even in the Merriam-Webster dictionary. So there.)

Listen to Seth bring life to Peter Griffin in that clip, after the jumperoo.

What's Next? Wacky Races, The Motion Picture?

And coming from Family Guy producer David Goodman? I thought the crew at FG was smarter than this.

He couldn't need the money, could he? I can't believe all the money goes to Seth.

THR:

David Goodman has been tapped to pen "Hong Kong Phooey," Alcon's take on the Hanna-Barbera cartoon being produced by the company's Andrew Kosove and Andrew Johnson. Rat Entertainment is also producing.

The cartoon, which aired in the mid-1970s, concerned a kung-fu fighting dog and his sidekick cat who fight crime. Alcon plans to make the adaptation a live-action/CGI hybrid.

And it's a combination of live and CG? Who's bankrolling this thing? I have a toilet that you could flush money down, it's a much more efficient use of time.

Fox's More to Love Promo Not As Horrifyingly Crass As I Predicted

NOTE TO READERS: This post comes with links to illustrative Family Guy clips, from Hulu, US Only (sorry). I would love to have the time to provide illustrative Family Guy clips for every post. Alas, just so much time in the day.

It's still not something I'm going to watch, it's just not for me. But I'm somewhat relieved that it's not some crapfest with "boing-boing" couch spring noises and other Foley effects, which I kind of the direction I thought they might be going.

It's Fox and Mike Darnell, you never know. He IS satan, after all. Moment of Truth? Remember that?

But they went another way. Fortunately. They're going the emotional route, as you'll see in the clip after the jump.

When I watched the clip the first thing I thought to myself is, "These are my people. Not particularly stunning, not particularly fit, but certainly nobody's scaring small children in the supermarket or in possession of their own gravitational pull.

Then I thought, "This is what dating shows would have looked like in the late 60s." Or, "This is what dating shows look like when you remove all the aspiring actors, singers, and models."

Regular looking guy, regular looking women. Still, I hope no one picks a life partner by virtue of how they perform on a "reality show." Remember what happened to Brian Griffin on The Bachelorette?

"It's just TV!"

Just Checking In and Passing on Some Great Links

Thought I would check in quickly while I had a moment.

I'm assisting in some familial matters lately and it's gotten in the way of me getting to this space, and as I either promised or previewed some things that I haven't gotten a chance to post I thought I would say thanks for holding on.

I'm trying to keep your regulars fed with at least the timely stuff.

And, I have to admit to taking the opportunity last night to run up to the WGA Theatre to see my friend Jeff Greenstein interview Ron Moore, which was great but frankly if I hadn't bought a ticket ahead of time I probably would have bailed.

But eventually you'll be able to buy a DVD of the evening and I'll be back with a link for that when it's up at their site. Because the sales benefit the WGA Foundation and its work I highly recommend its purchase.

And I'll tell you all about that when I can get back to it. With pilot season closing down, upfronts coming, early renewals, etc ... and, frankly, me getting invited to some really cool stuff thanks to this blog ... I've got lots to share.

In the meantime, some links I'm passing along that I'll cover in more detail in the days ahead:

Heroes Nowhere Man Webisode 3  starring David Lawrence

Funny or Die UK has a lot of your britcom favorites (Peter Serafinowicz, Lucas and Walliams) and some new ones you'll like (Bishop and Douch, start with A Brief History of Bishop and Douch and then to Bishop's Gay, which brings some needed ambiguity, certainly, to that argument)

Zach Galfianakis gets awkward with Natalie Portman at Funny of Die US.

Stewie Griffin guests on an all-new episode of Bones. 'Cause he's that good. First episode of the show I will have ever watched, tomorrow at 8 on Fox.

Finally ...

Alan Tudyk commenting on those who suggest out of all the players in the Joss stable, Alpha had to be him (Fox conference call transcript):

I’m sure there’s plenty of Joss people that it could have been.  I would have liked to have seen—I don’t know the actor’s name, the one who plays Moist in the Dr. Horrible series.  I think he would have been a surprise because you really would have bought the Steven Kepler part of it maybe even a little more totally than me.  You wouldn’t have seen that turn come as easily. 

Well Alan, except that Simon Helberg is on this own show, which has become much more of an ensemble comedy this year and Wolowitz is a go-to character.

Tudyk is upcoming in ABC's V pilot, btw, but gave away nothing. Sworn to secrecy, he said.

Watch the Dollhouse finale Friday please.

And there's that CBS thing about not wanting their sitcom stars to guest on other networks, like Kaley.

I'll be back ASAP.

I miss you.

2 Clips -- The Hills' Lauren Conrad on Dating a Dog, Doing Family Guy

Clips after the jump, but first, from the episode description in today's LA Times:

Lauren Conrad plays a genius on a new episode of "Family Guy." She told reporters she studied up for the role: "I had to research some of [the words] because the acting coach I worked with told me if I really understood what I was talking about, it would come through a little more true." Tune in to see if she pulls it off.

Whoever wrote that? Brava!

Video -- Guest Voice Chace Crawford Tommorrow on Family Guy

Which also means a new episode which always makes Sunday night a better night.

You can say that Chace's character is responsible for the condition Stewie has gotten in, pictured above.

Sharing a birthday (as many of my Facebook friends know)? Me and Seth MacFarlane.

And Hillary Clinton. And Billie Piper's little boy.

And "Julie, your cruise director" Lauren Tewes.

Clip after the jump. 9 pm, Fox.

Brian and Stewie: "Legalize It!" Tonight on Family Guy

I have no clip. Sorry. I wish I did. You would think there would be one at YouTube or Hulu or hidden away somewhere on the Fox website with embed codes, but no.

So, here's as much synopsis as I can get from all the Fox sites of which I have access:

With Stewie's help, Brian launches a campaign to legalize marijuana in the "420" episode of FAMILY GUY airing Sunday, April 19 (9:00-9:30 PM ET/PT) on FOX.

As you can see below in the second image, it doesn't go exactly as planned.

Now, no one in this lockup could actually call Brian a Prison Bitch. I mean, technically Brian can't really be a bitch, can he?

Well, he is fixed.

I dunno how it works with talking dogs. Or dogs, period.

If Peter could break Lois out of jail Brian should be easier, right?

Peter breaks Lois out of jail after her streak of kleptomania in a clip after the jump.

Before You Turn In, Make Sure the Evil Monkey in Your Closet Is Settled

Goodnight.

LINK

Fox's New Sit Down, Shut Up -- Do You Smell Something Fishy?

I know, I know. I'm the harbinger of ill prognostication. I'm not usually that guy. I'm usually the cheerleader. And I love cartoons for adults. Just watched a couple Family Guy eps for fun.

(Not that I usually watch the show as a matter of national security, you know, to hear the coded messages in Peter's farts. But I digress.)

After doing some homework, this show doesn't feel right to me. The source material is an Australian live action sitcom that ran for only 13 episodes. Before it even ran in Australia it was aired in the UK, which leads me to believe that someone thought it was shit and passed on it.

Then today I'm at the Fox press site trolling around for new content (you know, because I love you guys - awww!) and I started noticing the names of the characters on the show.

Names like Sue Sezno, Stuart Prozackian, Helen Klench.

Miracle Grohe? Yes, Miracle Grohe. That's Kristin Chenoweth's role. Gee, think she's the blonde with the rack? Do ya?

I groaned (Grohe-nd). Audibly. Homer heard me and groaned back (he's almost 11, he's allowed to groan these days).

Thought to myself, "Joe, those names are so cartoonish. They couldn't have been the named of the original characters."

They weren't.

Henry Winkler voices a character named Willard Deutschebog.

Says no, Prozac-ian, Clench, Douchebag, Miracle Grow. This all scares me some.

I know that everyone involved has a good reputation. I get that Josh Weinstein has worked on The Simpsons and Futurama and has Emmys blah blah blah ...

But he also worked on The Mullets. Yes, The Mullets.

And Mission Hill (though to be fair, most of that show worked for me, still does when Adult Swim runs the episodes that exist).

Mitch Hurwitz? Well, he did attract some top talent but they seem to be trading pretty heavy on the Arrested connection, like they don't have decent clips to show.

One more thing, what's up with the photographic backgrounds? They're lowering the bar so far now that I could be a cartoon artist. I have a camera. Can't draw a straight line but I have a camera and I could probably fashion a few unique looking character models out of my doodles.

So, note my fear. Still watch it, but keep me sitting there, maybe by your remote (the tiny version of me, that looks up every now and then and squeaks out, "You're watching this?")

It seems to me that shows that hit have a much more organic route to the schedule than smashing together the producer from The Simpsons with a not so successful foreign sitcom format and a few of the people from Arrested Development.

I so wanna be wrong about this. I so would love to see another great animated comedy on Fox.

Family Guy Video -- He's 61 Years Old? Really?

He doesn't look a day over Dirty Old Man. Watch below.

LINK

Carrots? Okay, carrots.

David Boreanaz Hints at Stewie Griffin Diva Behavior on Bones Set

As they say, Hot from Fox ...

Stewie Griffin, the youngest member of the FAMILY GUY clan, makes a very unique appearance on BONES Thursday, May 7 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.

In “The Critic in the Cabernet” episode, Brennan (Emily Deschanel) decides she wants to have a baby and surprises Booth (David Boreanaz) with a request to father her child. Brennan’s request dredges up a host of unspoken feelings and unresolved issues between the two, and Booth becomes consumed by the prospect of having a child. The stress of the situation, coupled with Booth’s undiagnosed health issue, paves the way for a surprise visit from Stewie. The diabolically clever baby assesses the situation and offers advice in his inimitable style.

After returning from the BONES set, Griffin remarked on the experience of playing his first dramatic role: “Oh, have you seen it? Was I good? Because I heard they said I was amazing and they want me to replace Emily, but that’s just a rumor.”

“The guy was good during the actual scenes, which is the important thing,” Boreanaz commented. “But between takes he literally vanished – nowhere to be seen. I guess it’s true that Brits and cartoons tend to be standoff-ish. Or maybe it was a method thing, I don’t know.”

I haven't used my Bad Celebrity Behavior tag in a while. I don't have a tag labeled Bad Animated Celebrity Behavior.

New Family Guy Clip -- What's With the Horse Sucking on Stewie's Head?

Getting new episodes from Fox on this show these days is like pulling horse teeth.

Speaking of horses, click over the jump for the clip, but first ... see Peter above? He's been injected with the Seth Rogen gene.

I know at some point in the episode Peter's also injected with the gay gene.

Now, how about a little of both and then you push him my way. Dress him in the cop uniform from Superbad and I'm good to go.

Well, if you could make him a little taller that would be good, too. Seriously, when you watch Pineapple Express you realize exactly how tall (or how short) Seth is. Of course I always assume that people on TV and in films are my size, which I realize is crazy (I'm 6-4) but I figure I'm always looking them right in the eye so they must be my height.

Tricia Helfer might have been the only TV person I've met that hasn't disappointed me heightwise.

Clip after the jump. I'm not really what the horse is up to, besides sucking on Stewie's head.

Family Guy Preview Clip -- Peter Leaves Lois For a Man, Baby! For a Man!

I'm not kidding.

No new episode tonight (AGAIN! I guess Seth was injured when when he opened a random closet and stacks of twenty dollar bills buried him, rendering him unable to work).

However, per TV.com, this is what happens next time out:

To make money and pay off his debts, Peter participates in medical experiments, including one that makes him gay. He winds up in a relationship with another man and leaves Lois and the family brokenhearted, however, they realize the important thing is that Peter is happy.

The clip? It ain't pretty. I'm not quite sure how I feel about the lisp and the scarf tied around his neck, but I'm gonna watch it anyway. No embed code, you'll have to click here, but come back.

Video -- Someone at Family Guy Obsessed with Eye Floaters (as I was for years)

This is not the first time that they've done a riff on eye floaters. In The Tan Aquatic With Steve Zissou, as Stewie dictates his last will and testament during his skin cancer scare, Stewie goes off on the topic.

And we visit Peter's eye floater, who sounds just like a comic from the 50s, name escapes me, after the jump.

No new episode this week, so I would suggest any one of these episodes that you can see online to fill in:

Play It Again Brian

Former Life of Brian

Long John Peter

Or, just buy the DVDs and pop one in.

I was convinced when I was a kid that I was the only person on the planet who experienced the phenomenon of eye floaters.

Didn't tell anyone about it for years, 'cause I thought people would think I was crazy.

Seriously.

It was a strange time.

Video -- That Family Guy Christian Bale Clip You're Lookin' For Is Right Here

Quick turnaround on this for animation. I know, it's just a tape recorder -- a tape recorder that we might have seen in an earlier episode, perhaps?  

I think I remember seeing it before. Anyone?

Clip after the jump.

2 Clips -- Finally, a New Family Guy Tomorrow at 9, Preview Here

Almost two months without a new original episode.

I'd go through withdrawal if I didn't have every DVD so that I could pop in an episode every now and then, or watch the show at the Fox website or on TBS or Adult Swim ... or KTLA or the Cartoon Network on Demand channel ... or on my iPod or at Hulu ... or Fancast or Joost ...

Okay, I never go through withdrawal. And with this widget below I can stave off your withdrawal symptoms, too.

And there's also a clip, as I said, of tomorrow's ep after the jump.

Let's hope this episode brings us more Carl (Jon Benjamin). We need more Carl. I have a Carl clip after the jump, also.

Speaking of Carl (and the clip after the jump, the second one) I recorded Event Horizon the other day, it was on Cinemax. Didn't watch it but I did record it, just because of the scene in the clip.

Ali Larter Live Chat at Fancast Tomorrow (Friday) at 2 Eastern, 11 Pacific ...

... and the rest of you can do your own math.

Rob Buckley, you will really have to do your own math. I would be sending this post to you if I hadn't just clicked over and saw that you're already in the know, and you can chat with Ali through a widget at Rob's blog, if you like as well. Just click Rob's name and you'll be transported to The Medium is Not Enough, home of the regular feature Random Acts of Ali Larter.

And thanks to Meg at Fancast, who should really send me a heads up earlier, but it's also cool that she left a comment at this post.

Meg.

Speaking of Meg ... go look after the jump for something special.

Video -- Another Family Guy Rerun Tonight, My Favorite Moment Right Here

But first ...

I did this at the Paste Magazine site that will turn any photo into a Shepard Fairey poster.

Lowenbrau is Peter's middle name.

LINK

Video -- Your Final Look at George W. Bush in the Oval Office

Because it should be in cartoon form with Peter Griffin wearing a clown nose.

LINK

3 Clips -- Ricardo Montalban 1920 - 2009

More from the AP via HuffPo at this link.

First from the Minisode Network.

LINK

Khan's death scene after the jump.

See, This is Not Something You Should Look to Get On Sale

Also, I wanted you to have something to watch while I'm gone.

I'm still away, these posts are just writing themselves.

LINK

Off Topic (So Off Topic It's Almost Criminal): Ugandan Women and Their Sleepytime Boobies

With a hat tip to the NPR show Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me ...

Asbury Park Press:

Ugandan police have released a warning about criminal gangs in the country that use women to lure men into sexual trysts to rob them after they are rendered unconscious with chloroform smeared on the women’s breasts.

(snip)

The victims were robbed of their belongings, including clothes, and found naked in an unconscious state. Most were unable to remember what happened after they became intimately involved with the women.

Uganda’s Criminal Investigations Directorate Fred Enanga said the gangs could be comprised of many members, and added that the source of the chemical sedative is unknown.

Once again, the dangers of motorboating, it does have its consequences you know.

And to that end, I have an illustrative Family Guy clip after the jump.

Jane Krakowski, Making the Rounds of the NBC Holiday Specials

"Not that there's anything wrong with that."

And what's a girl with a song in her heart to do, anyway? With a day job on a single-camera comedy and no time for a Broadway run, even during your hiatus, you gotta get your musical comedy jones met somehow.

Rosie Live this Wednesday at 8, Letters to Santa: A Muppets Family Christmas Wednesday December 17 at 8.

Click the images above and you'll go to the IMDB page for each.

I'll be playing Jean Valjean in my shower for the next six weeks. There's only one seat left and I don't think you want it.

Speaking of Jean Valjean, watch the Family Guy clip below and have a great night.

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Video -- Goodnight, Griffins

Goodnight, everyone.

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3 Family Guy Clips -- Quahog 5 News Continues to Hire Griffin Family Members Despite Performance Issues

I don't know who the Human Resources people are at Quahog's Channel 5, but I think it might be a good idea to stop hiring the Griffins.

First there was Meg.

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Then, Peter had his Grind My Gears segment ...

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And finally, tomorrow night, Stewie has to get a job at Channel 5 News to fund his new club, pLace (small p, capital L).

And that clip is after the jump.

If I have to tell you when Family Guy is on, you haven't been reading closely enough.

(Fox, Sunday, 9.)

Variety Headline: "Growth of Hulu: Who Knew?" I Knew!!!

In fact, on May 12, 2007, I said in a post about the pre-Flash version of the Joost website:

Now, as someone who runs this weird hybrid between online TV channel and blog, what I would love to see is the technical geniuses at Joost, or whomever is going to have content I like posting on my site here a facility for me to review the program, edit a short clip (with a set time limit if the copyright holder chooses, and a preroll ad of some length if they must) that I could then click on a button, have the site generate embed code ...

And when I heard about the launching of the Hulu site and found an email address for its big cheese, Jason Kilar, I sent him that post and he sent me back a short email. Very short. Just a smiley face.

(Way to be efficient with your keystrokes, Kilar. Also, way to give me what I asked for, Kilar.)

Diane Garrett at Variety.com:

Plenty of other sites, YouTube included, stream Hollywood programming these days, but none with as much finesse as Hulu. The majority of its visitors stream TV shows in their entirety, rather than short clip format popularized by YouTube. Like Apple with its iPod, Hulu married content with form, fulfilling a need others didn't know existed.

Of course, I use it a lot these days. This is my 70th post tagged Hulu, and I figure I might as well find something you wanna watch while I'm writing.

Ah, here's Seth MacFarlane with I believe Alex Borstein behind the camera, and they're talking about process and doing Stewie. Not "doing" Stewie, you pervs, doing Stewie.

After the jump, folks.

Evangelical-Based TV Watchdog Claims Ty Pennington Suitable For Viewing But Not Stewie Griffin

It's the pitchfork and torch crowd again. You know, the Parents Television Council.

TV Week's Vlada Gelman on the questionably suitable Dancing With the Stars:

As if the sight of toned women in scanty ballroom dance outfits isn’t horrible enough (somebody ought to alert PBS, which often airs real ballroom dancing competitions), the child may be scarred for life after seeing Cloris Leachman in a revealing evening gown.

Fortunately, Vlada and I don't take these people too seriously. Just seriously enough to mention them, refute their findings and marginalize them.

And c'mon, Ty Pennington is suitable TV watching? Not in my house. I just can't stand the combo of sappy and maudlin (though I do enjoy the Sammy Maudlin, SCTV host).

Here's their list of shows that they deem inappropriate viewing.

Hell's Kitchen -- Yeah, me too, but not because of the language specifically, but because of the way Gordon spits while he curses. And overall, I just don't like the guy. I don't care that he screams bloody murder at the poor saps on the show, after all they must have known what they were in for.

House -- D'ya think they have a problem with the pill-popping doc? Or is it the pansexual woman with the number for a name? Or, it is that House is a proponent of stem cell research?

Heroes -- What, because they don't like the plot holes and the dark turn the show has taken? Because there really isn't too much besides that going on! I can't imagine these same people who supported the Iraq War and the Bush Doctrine of preemptive war would care if Arthur Petrelli pulled a guy's head off.

Moment of Truth -- I would love Tim Winter from the PTC to go on this show. I have the questions already written. The first one has to do with why the PTC spends so much time and effort trying to convince others that their efforts aren't connected to a theocratic worldview.

American Dad -- He wears a flag pin. Why no love for Stan and the Smiths? Maybe it's the gay alien.

Family Guy -- Yeah, I don't think Seth cares what the PTC says. He's swimming in $100 bills in his palacial tub in his 1200 sq. ft. bathroom. Stewie, however, is primed for attack.

Four Fox shows. What will that Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity Bill O'Reilly say about this?

I would quote Stewie directly, but he's currently at sea. Watch him, after the jump.

Affleck Plays Olbermann This Week on SNL, Also Stewie Griffin Sings About Bill-O

From Michael Calderone's blog at Politico.com:

Ben Affleck, who’s hosting “Saturday Night Live” this week, was rehearsing a skit this afternoon mocking Keith Olbermann when Olbermann himself got past security to watch, according to a source with knowledge of the incident.

(snip)

“I’m not Sarah Palin,” Olbermann said. “I know how valuable it is to me. And it’s funny."

Also, tonight on Keith's show, a very special Stewie Griffin Oddball segment featuring Bill O'Reilly, and it's after the jump.

Why This Family Guy Clip?

Two reasons ...

1. I'm hoping some smart person out there with good graphics skills can provide the title cards from last night's episode Road to Germany sans credit text so I can use them as wallpaper.
2. Steve Buscemi went to my high school.

Video -- Family Guy Key Question "Who Hears Stewie?" Answered (Kind Of)

Last night, you saw this in an episode of Family Guy.

You do understand what this is, don't you? It may be one of the most important moments in Family Guy fan history, an explanation of exactly what the deal is with one-year-old Stewie, who can understand him and who can't.

And it goes along with this clip from a season two episode called E. Peterbus Unum where at the end of the episode about the Griffins declaring independence from the US:

In a meta-reference, one of the students asks "So, like, can the family understand the baby or what’s the deal with that?" This has been wondered by many Family Guy fans.

There is also a reference in an episode to Brian and his human skills.

Anyhow, a landmark episode last night that begins to set up the Cleveland spinoff, it was very funny and you can watch the whole thing here. Just watch the clip above from Hulu, and then press the link on the screen to watch the episode from the beginning.

Very Very Busy Night of Primetime on Network, Pay, Cable

Everybody's in the game tonight. It seems like everything I love right now is on Sunday nights.

Family Guy -- (Fox, Season Premiere) Brian meets a new woman and takes advance from Stewie to take things slow. Never take relationship advice from a one-year-old with gender conflict issues.

Dexter -- (Showtime, Season Premiere) Read my previous post here, and the only other thing you need to know, which everyone else has spilled, is that Rita and Dexter are gonna have a baby.

The Simpsons -- (Fox, Season Premiere) Marge gets a job making erotic cakes. Julia Louis-Dreyfus guests.

American Dad -- (Fox, Season Premiere) They forget Roger's birthday, who takes it upon himself to make the day eventful.

True Blood -- (HBO) Sookie's Gram asks her to use her telepathy to get that smokin' hot brother of hers (above left) out of trouble. Well, you can't expect him to be beautiful and smart.

Little Britain USA -- (HBO, Series Premiere) Andy and Lou (above right) check into a Mississippi hotel, and Carol Beer gets a job at a medical center.

Mad Men -- (AMC) I can't read the recap, I'm still an episode behind. But it's on, too.

Heroes Video -- More Thank Five (Count 'em, Five) Minutes of Season Three Clips

What's with the back of Peter Petrelli's hand? I have no idea. I do know that the season two press pics of Peter, shirtless, sweating and ouchably hot were better than this.

I guess they weren't going for beefcake this season. Watch this string of clips from NBC and start reading again after.

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So, whaddaya think? Are you getting excited yet?

Use the comments, people, and share. It's all about you.

Personally, I don't know how I feel about the girl who goes really fast. Sounds like something Brian Griffin did it an episode of Family Guy.

Will Claire's nails start growing exceptional fast? Will Ando's brain expand to the point that he can perform telekenesis? Will Nathan be able to morph into the giant rack of Facts of Life star Charlotte Rae?

That clip is after the jump.

Video -- Upside of Cleveland Leaving Family Guy? The Possibility of More Carl

Carl is voiced by H. Jon Benjamin, adult swim stalwart. We definitely need more Carl.

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James Hugh Callum Laurie OBE is Rich, Rich I Say!!!

OBE = Order of the British Empire

Nellie at the Hollywood Reporter:

Under a pact with producer Universal Media Studios, Laurie's salary is expected to rise to the neighborhood of $400,000 an episode or more than $9 million a year. He also would get some sort of producing credit on the medical drama, which returns for a fifth season Tuesday. The deal also adds another year to the actor's contract on the series, assuring he will stay on at least through the 2011-12 season.

That's a very nice bump for Hugh, up from the estimated $250-300,000 per ep from the past two years. And he'll get a producing credit on the upcoming season of House, and he adds another year onto his contract, because you gotta give a little to get a little. It's called negotiation.

As you know, I much prefer the funny British Hugh Laurie, and hopefully, with all this cash, he'll get to leave House when it ends and be the funny British Hugh Laurie again.

Soon.

Because this show House? Doesn't do it for me, particularly. Don't get me wrong, it's well done, I just don't enjoy it.

You know who does? Family Guy's Meg Griffin. She intimates this in a clip after the jump.

Jon Stewart Visits That Airport Bathroom on His Way to the RNC

"Memories,  light the corners of ... that toilet stall where Larry Craig tapped out with his foot the morse code of unspeakable love ... "

No sign of the senior senator from Idaho, however.

The Daily Show is live in Minneapolis all week. Hey, where is that other comedy news show, the one from Joel Surnow, the creator of that other very funny show called 24, coming from this week?

That's right, nowhere.

Photo of Larry Craig standing in front of what Peter Griffin would call "a bunch of robot penises", right, from USA Today via AP.

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"Robot penis" clip from Family Guy after the jump.

The Most Dangerous Thing That Could Ever Happen, Ever!

Could you imagine it? It would be, in no uncertain terms, anarchy!

I was dusting my toys when I encountered this accidental tableau.

And, it just might innaugurate an entirely new classification of fan fiction.

Joss, NPH, Fillion Go Live with Dr. Horrible Tomorrow!

Everything you need is right above in this handy dandy li'l widget from Clearspring, that you could also place on your blog or site or Facebook or MySpace page.

And you wanna do that, as Stewie Griffin says, because ... well, oh, just watch the clip after the jump. Stewie will explain it all to you.