I Am A TV Junkie

Clip Bonanza -- TV.com Staff Picks for 13 Best South Park Episodes Has Glaring Omissions

You gals and guys at TV.com, I'm disappointed. Really, really disappointed. Though some of your picks are completely on target (Scott Tenorman Must Die, Awesom-O, Casa Bonita) you have picked some real stinkers in my very humble (HA! Me? Humble?) estimation.

And, you've left out some critical episodes of genius. More on my second favorite episode ever and the one really glaring omission with four clips (yes, four clips) after the jump.

I should share that South Park returns to Comedy Central tonight at 10, right before the debut of their new series Secret Girlfriend at 10:30. Click over to the South Park site for a preview of the new episode, Dead Celebrities.

Now, the TV.com picks I just don't understand ...

1. Make Love Not Warcraft -- I have never played an online game. Maybe that has something to do with my lack of enjoyment of this episode.

2. Imaginationland -- Nice thought, a parable on the so-called War on Terror (as if you can have a war on a tactic) but three parts? Man did that drag on.

3. Good Times With Weapons -- Kind of similar to Make Love Not Warcraft, or at least the visuals were similar. I just didn't care.

4. Up The Down Steroid -- Jimmy 'roids up for the Special Olympics. So? Oh, and he beat his girlfriend. Nice.

More and those four promised clips from that big omission, after the jump.

Video -- Stargate: Universe 2-Hr. Premiere Tonight at 9 on Syfy -- And From the Reviews ...

It's a mixed bag, as usual.

NY Times:

Syfy has promoted “Universe” as an “edgier” show than the earlier, jokier “Stargate” entries, which in space opera terms were Puccini to the Wagner of “Galactica.” And there’s plenty of tension in the premiere. The refugees’ troubles are only beginning when they escape to the alien ship, which is starting to break down after eons of travel. Already fault lines are developing between the soldiers and the civilians, just as in “Galactica.”

CinemaSpy.com:

On the technical side, Stargate Universe impresses in almost every department. The interior design of Destiny is different from that of ships in other space operas and, in my view, way cooler than the sterile inside of J.J. Abrams Enterprise. Elements of Gothic and Victorian styling give it an air of mystery that is sometimes unnerving.  The outside of the ship is more conventional and less impressive, with CGI sometimes being obvious. Nonetheless, the FX successfully suggest a ship of great size and the effect of faster-than-light travel is well realized. Interestingly, there are few other FX-heavy scenes in 'Air', which is in keeping with the greater sense of reality the writers are aiming for. This is the least epic of all the series-opening episodes of the Stargate franchise.

IGN.com:

Robert Carlyle does an excellent job portraying Dr. Nicholas Rush, a frustrated scientist trying to solve the perplexing puzzle behind the ancient stargate. Rush is really one of the main driving forces in this pilot. He's the one with the knowledge needed to figure out the ship's ancient language and technology, and he ends up taking a leadership role. But he's also kind of a shady fellow, who gives off sort of a Gaius Baltar vibe. His true motivations are questioned throughout the entire episode, and by the end we're left wondering what's really going on in that brilliant head of his.

More, and a clip, after the jump.

Special Guest Michael Hinman From Airlock Alpha Gets You (and me) Ready for Stargate: Universe

When I need help, I go to the people who know. Know what? Know more than me.

That guy today is Michael Hinman, proprietor of the outstanding site Airlock Alpha (at this link). The site's one of only a few sites that you can depend on for great content, sci fi news as it breaks, interviews, clips ... and today you can click over there for news on the following ...

• ABC's V reboot broken into two runs pre- and post-Winter Olympics

• Summer Glau's return to the Whedonverse in Dollhouse
• The steady dive of Heroes ratings numbers and fan interest

But here, today (actually right now) we're all about Stargate: Universe, the new offering from Syfy that debuts in the Battlestar Galactica timeslot this Friday night (though the premiere is a two-hour event starting at 9, future eps with be seen at 10 eastern).

I haven't seen anything in the world of Stargate since the original theatrical film starring James Spader and Kurt Russell, so homework is of the essence here, and ... okay, you might say this is my version of copying Michael's homework.

I sent him some questions a couple days ago and he was a mensch and spent a lot of time and effort to get me, and in turn you, up to speed.

It's all after the jump, with clips and pics.

Family Guy Video -- How Many of Us Have Dated THIS Guy?

This is from the first few minutes of the outstanding Family Guy season premiere, Road to the Multiverse, and you should see it especially if you're a fan of Fringe or the multiverse theory or Michio Kaku the string theory specialist ... or a Family Guy fan, natch.

See? I can have a sense of humor about gay jokes, as long as they're funny. It's funny because it's true.

As usual with the Hulu embeds, after you watch the clip you can click the correct link to watch the entire episode, and you should, especially the Disney-inspired musical number in the middle that ends with a Walt Disney joke that you must, MUST, see.

Poor Mort Goldman, always the subject of Walt's disdain.

Speaking of Judaism, next week's episode is called Family Goy. And at the Fox press site I see an image of Peter wearing a tallit and yarmulka, though this website indicates he might be wearing it wrong.

Should be a good one. I hope Adult Swim will eventually run it in tandem with When You Wish Upon a Weinstein, maybe for Purim.

Watch a "Slightly Altered" Version of the Dexter Premiere Right Here Right Now

It's on my DVR, I haven't watched it yet, but I wanted to allow all of you to take a look at it.

From the episode embed after the jump:

The following program has been edited from its original form. To see the full unedited episode, 0rder Showtime now.

And you can do that at this link, or just call your cable provider. But tell them you want the channel at $7.99/month per the deal at the Showtime website.

Episode embed after the jump. It can't be too hacked up, btw, because it runs almost the full hour. Probably small edits to conform to YouTube standards.

Wait, there are standards on YouTube, home of Two Girls One Cup?

The contest, btw, is still going. No winner yet. Click here for details.

SNL Newcomer Jenny Slate Pulls a Charles Rocket (though I didn't hear it)

I didn't hear it because they did some quick looping before the show's West Coast airing and the word "fucking" became "freaking" in the sketch Biker Chick Chat.

Rocket, who ended his own life in 2005 dropped an F-bomb in the closing moments of the Charlene Tilton-hosted episode in 1980 (very poor quality YouTube clip at this link).

The sketch can't be found on the SNL website or Hulu. What a coinkeedink, huh?

Lorne has power.

Anyway, it's a shame because it's her first time out and all, but let me quickly remark that neither Michaela not Casey ever dropped an F-bomb on the show.

(Also, Michaela is NOT too pretty to be funny and Casey is not fat. I like them a lot and look forward to their upcoming projects.)

Also not too pretty to be funny and not fat? Megan Fox. So, why did the season premiere suck so hard? Maybe it had something to do with the Thursday primetime half hour sucking up all that time and the good jokes.

I have been trying to find something from last night's show to post, but it's really tough if, you know, you have standards. Wow, what a sucky season premiere.

Not that it had anything to do with the new women on the show, Slate and Nasim Pedrad. In fact, with Fox hosting and eating up all the female characters with Kristin Wiig, neither got a chance to do much.

Watch Megan's monologue after the jump. The digital shorts were terrible, the Russian bride sketch was all Fred Armisen and the flight attendant bit was kinda lame. So, you get the monologue.

At least she looks pretty. And the monologue is okay, she takes on the naked Internet pics issue with some aplomb.

Maybe Dollhouse is a Show That is Made Just for Us, But That Business Model Won't Hold Up

I'm posting the full episode from Hulu after the jump so that you can see it, because apparently a lot of you have something better to do at 9 Fridays besides watching the show.

(What did I say about happy hour going a bit too long for some of you on Fridays? You should check into that. TV might be addictive, but it won't destroy your liver.)

The Us in the headline means the fans of the show. The problem with Dollhouse is that it shoots in Los Angeles, has some big salaries to pay (Joss, Eliza, etc.) and looks remarkable on screen  ... but the numbers just don't support the production.

TV By The Numbers posted yesterday and extrapolated the DVR viewing of the show over 7 days past the premiere date based on season one averages and notes:

Kevin Reilly is often cited about the time he talked about how much he liked  the average numbers for Dollhouse’s first season, especially when it came to DVR increases.  The problem is, that average was arrived at with a 2.0 adults L+SD 18-49 rating in the premiere that ended with a 1.0 L+SD adults 18-49 rating in the finale.

Friday night’s numbers are not very different than the numbers for the season one finale.  However, the season one finale was well below the season average for the show even though it was included in the average.  While not much different than the season one finale, Friday night was ~31% worse than the first season’s average, even when projecting the DVR numbers in. And the 18-49 numbers are down 50% from the season one premiere (or the season one premier did 100% better in 18-49 ratings, depending on how you want to look at it).

If you need explainers for such, click over to their site, link above, and learn about TV metrics from my go-to guys for ratings info.

More, including the episode (thanks, Hulu) after the jump.

Video -- Dexter Returns ... Win a Dexter Calendar & Baseball Cap, See Below

First the big news ... something happens in the first 30 minutes of this episode that you just have to see. I can only tell you that much. I am sworn to secrecy.

(You thought the big news was the giveway? If you're that guy or gal, click over the jump for the details. And I'm sure that if you click around the web enough you'll find out what "the big news" is but I'm not gonna spoil it for you.)

This is a pivotal year for our anti-hero. New life, house in the burbs, new wife, instant dad to two ... how's a guy supposed to quench his bloodlust?

Folks, it's just like the megachurch preacher who needs to do meth and service male prostitutes ... if you wanna do it you find the time. True for just about everything in this life, dontcha think?

Time, like the time I didn't have to watch the end of season three? Yeah. However, for you guys and gals who like me got too hooked into other non-TV-related stuff last season like personal lives and family commitments, iTunes has a 99 cents deal on season one through three episodes that you can take advantage of by clicking this link.

Your bad guy this season? The only, the only, the man who can make you laugh or cry or entertain your little kiddies if he's so disposed, 3rd Rock from the Sun's John Lithgow as Walter Simmons, who you'll know as the Trinity Killer.

Have you not seen John play a killer? He's very intense. This is a return to the Lithgow of old, the Lithgow that made him a solid player in the TV and film biz. Before they let him be funny, Lithgow offed a lot of people.

On TV and in movie. Not really.

More, including giveaway details and two clips, after the jump.

The Beautiful Life TBL Canceled: Takes More Than Just a Pretty Face (and a hot body)

See this image above? Sara Paxton is feeling the exact opposite of that this morning. She probably turned down work to grab the lead in this show, poor girl.

Of course, I've been saying that it takes more than being pretty for years. And, before I date anyone, I have them do long division and diagram a sentence in front of me, just so I know they can.

And since I live in Southern California it means I don't date much.

The show was ... not good. So heavy handed, very predictable ... and I don't think it helped much that as it speeded toward cancelation its producer was tweeting about his anniversary dinner and how you can see the show on iTunes.

And the performances. And maybe lining up someone more famous than Zac Posen. Christian Siriano would have been a better choice for TV, he at least has a catchphrase that you could have employed.

Should have been working on the show's bible and the dialogue. He is the basis for this thing, right? Iowa farmboy with parents in financial difficulty gets discovered in the big city? Right?

This is the second scripted series from Ashton Kutcher's production company that has failed quickly. The last one was the Judy Greer vehicle Miss/Guided. And I like her so much that it actually hurt me physically when she did the few eps I saw.

Katalyst needs a scripted hit. Got one for them? Anyone? Buehler?

(Oops, not that I want him to try to mount another Ferris Buehler TV series, it's just a convention I use to note that there's no one listening out there. It's also the only fond memory I have of Ben Stein, who's become a tool for the political right since then. No need to revisit Ferris btw, the film is very rewatchable.)

And the reason I saw Katalyst needs a scripted hit? Because Ashton does put the charitable portion of his paycheck to very good use, and I'd like to see him be able to do more of that.

In Which I Somewhat Disagree with TV.com About Fox's Brothers

Richard Lawson at TV.com:

It's about two squabbling siblings--one who left home and made it big, the other who hung back and didn't--and their wacky, acid-tongued parents. Been there, done that. But wait, look just the tiniest bit closer and you'll see it's anything but.

Alessandra Stanley of the New York Times sums it up pretty well in assessing the show as flat and traditional in the comedy department, but bold and daring pretty much everywhere else. See Mitchell (and his character, Chill) was paralyzed from the waist down in a 2001 motorcycle accident and is confined to a wheelchair. This disability is addressed in the first half hour of Brothers, but it's not the focus of the show.

Yeah, Richard, but it is kind of the whole basis of the bruised relationship between the two brothers. Chill seems to blame Mike for not being on time to pick him up from somewhere so he got in someone else's car and got into that accident that left him "on" a wheelchair.

(They make a lot over being on the chair vs. being in the chair on the show and in the press materials for the show, which is why I used "on." Personally, however, I use in to describe how I use a chair, I sit in one, not on one. I lay in bed not on bed. Is that a New York regionalism?)

Richard does agree with me in that they have to find more "funny" in this show, and fast. Without the funny it's not going anywhere. He even says, "The venerable CCH Pounder proves her worth as Mom, but you can't help but wish she'd been given some better material," echoing my post from the other day.

I don't know about you, but if I had just been robbed by my business manager after a bunch of years getting banged up on the football field, I'd do a little more to try and get my money back and I would enlist my family to help. If they don't go back to that at some point it just ruins the show's credibility.

Video -- NCIS: Los Angeles Brings the Action and the Body Count

Here's your new Los Angeles team watching the TV I wish I had. Wall-sized? Sign me up.

(On a related note, I saw the new version of my Sony Bravia with 120Hz instead of my 60 Hz for less than I paid for mine. That really hurts.)

They open with Chris O'Donnell's character, G. Callen (just G., an orphan, they never told him what the G even stands for) leaving another scuzzy beach adjacent temp rental (too loud). His running buddy Sam Hanna (LL Cool J, hey what ever happened to him transitioning to Todd Smith?) meets him, brings him back to work (early, before he's due) at the Office of Special Projects in the most un-office looking office ever.

Actually looks like a palace in Morocco. In fact, the palace in Morocco that Patsy and Edina go to in this (LINK) episode of Ab Fab.

Hetty Lange (Linda Hunt) runs the joint, paying attention to the details. There's a psych on board to comment on everything from interrogation to body language, young computer-smart underlings and a whole bunch of people who just walk by who will probably end up dead in future episodes, you know how that goes.

(If you don't know what I mean, think about fate of the guy in the landing party on Star Trek that you've never seen before. Get it? Good.)

On the big TV (top of post, unseen) is Vance, who you know, no intr0ductions needed, right?

It does kind of seem, when you look at it that way that they've borrowed a little something from Lie To Me, something from 24, and the buddy cop first half hour of Law & Order. And I don't mind, because it works out.

You know if you've read this blog for a while that I'm not a big fan of child in peril stories, but I invested about a half hour in this episode before that revealed itself so I stuck with it. But, it also lowered my enjoyment level. Still, all the stuff you love from the original -- tight, well crafted stories that go somewhere laid out so that you have opportunity to play along (which I find important when watching this kind of thing), room for characters to breath but not too hard because it's mainly a procedural, an attractive cast ... it's all good.

On top of that, there's a lot more action, at least there was in this premiere episode. And a higher body count. An hour later allows more deaths? I guess.

More, including a preview of next week's episode, after the jump.

Our Daily Craig -- Ferguson w/Entertainment Weekly's Ken Tucker on Fall TV

You can read Ken's blog at Entertainment Weekly at this link.

What he likes? The Good Wife, Community, Fringe season two and the True Blood finale.

What he doesn't like? Jay doing his 11:30 show at 10 (too awkward in his opinion as a host), The Biggest Loser being two hours long, ballroom dancing done by "celebrities," Project Runway in Los Angeles and the idea that the vampires on the CW keep diaries.

And "His Chatiness" seems to really like Joel McHale, despite the tallness and the skinny ties.

Buy Craig's book, it's out now! Clip after the jump.

Video -- The Cast of Brothers on Fox Deserves Better than This

I feel bad for the people in the picture above. They deserve better words than this. Especially you, CCH Pounder.

Fox sent me the screener for Brothers, which premieres tomorrow night on the network and I dutifully threw it into the machine as I'm trying to watch as much new Fall content as I can for you people, because I'm a caring guy and I know your TV time is precious.

But, so's mine! And I wish I could get some of the 42 minutes back that I spent watching the first two out of the gate on this show, ostensibly a vehicle for former NY Giants star Michael Strahan.

BTW, this is once again a show that has virtually all black people in front of the camera and all white people (Don Reo, Ted Wass, Mitch Hurwitz, the Tannenbaums) behind the camera. Gee, you think that could be the problem here?

(Really, they just should have worked on a Blossom reunion show, I know Joey Lawrence is waiting for that call.)

Strahan plays Michael Trainor. Okay, he plays himself (a retired NY football player) with a different last name, basically, and with different circumstances. He's been called back home by mom (Pounder) who tells him dad (Carl Weathers, Rocky) has had a stroke. 

More including a series trailer after the jump.

2 Clips -- TV.com Serves Up Three Rivers Star Alex O'Loughlin for Exclusive Fan Chat October 2nd

You might remember him from the CBS vampire drama Moonlight (was it too soon for vampires in 2007?) costarring with former David Tennant flame Sophia Myles (who was, after all, The Girl in the Fireplace).

This season he's back on US TV screens in a show called Three Rivers, about an organ transplant team in a Pittsburgh hospital. TV.com has Alex for an exclusive fan chat on October 2nd, right before the show's premiere two days later. I've seen it and I'm hoping that the show does wonderful things to increase the number of us who carry organ donation cards around with us just in case the unthinkable happens.

The pilot episode was extremely watchable -- nice character development, solid story and good performances from most everyone but especially Katherine Moennig from Showtime's The L Word as a very intense young woman determined to save lives.

While you're waiting, and I know you are, watch a clip after the jump about Alex and the new show from CBS and then click over to this TV.com page (LINK) for more clips and this page (LINK) to bookmark it for the October 2 event.

And I'll say more about the show as we get closer to premiere day.

And a bonus clip for Moonlight fans, too. I'll find a fan tribute clip at YouTube and make it the second clip after the jump.

CW's Serves Up its Fictional Models with Two Sides of Sexual Predator, One Straight & One Gay

Yes, I had to watch The Beautiful Life: TBL, if only to look at all the pretty kids, and they are pretty. I mean, just look above ... they are all certainly freaks of nature.

What? Yes, freaks of nature. More of us look like, well ... us, than look like that.

Something for your to always remember. That perfect nose, if it didn't come out of an operating room, came from the twisted strands of mutant DNA. There are many more average looking people on this planet than there are pretty.

(Also, notice that it's Ashley Madekwe from series two of Secret Diary of a Call Girl all the way to the left.)

So, how does this confection work? I'll lay it all out for you ... Raina (Sara Paxton) is a young model who gets plucked from semi-obscurity to wear the big dress of the evening at the Zac Posen Fashion Week show because Sonja (Mischa Barton) can't fit into it, which is the biggest of crimes in her world.

Wearing said dress, walking to the end of the runway and holding her hands up in victory (because she didn't trip?) makes her the next big thing, but she worries about Sonja liking her because -- and this is where it gets somewhat unrealistic -- Raina is ... nice.

So is Chris. He's with his Iowa farm family having lunch at a model hangout in NYC on vacation (as if models eat lunch) when model scout Simon, in between I dunno, sips of his Cosmo and sending anonymous tips to Perez (?!?) sees the farmboy and hands over his card.

Nice model girl and nice model boy meet cute at the agency, have a conversation with a woman named Claudia who looks just like Elle Macpherson without makeup on (played by Elle Macperson without makeup on) and go off to have a photographer capture farmboy's essence digitally, which looks kind of like this image to the right thanks to Raina's relaxation techniques, which looks just like coming on to a guy, strangely.

Meanwhile, we find out (at least I found out, I was paying attention) that Sonja has been out of the model scene having a baby. See, it's just post-partum poundage, all she needs to do is a little breastfeeding, right? I mean, she only gained two pounds, she says.

And, Sonja wants the job of wearing the silver sparkly Dolce & Gabanna mini for the ad so she's gotta sweet talk some photographer into getting her that gig.

More, including clips, after the jump.

Video -- New CBS Monday Comedy Accidentally Claims Multiple Victims

Disclaimer -- During the run of Dharma & Greg an episode was written where Dharma (Jenna Elfman, celebrity Scientologist) visits a psychiatrist (played by fellow Xenuite Kirstie Alley). Scientology has a thing against psychiatry, of course, and Kirstie played her like some gross caricature. I haven't been a fan of either since.

(I mean it's okay with me if you're an actor or actress and you wanna join a cult, just don't use your TV cred to diss a discipline that I think does a lot of people good.)

I watched Accidentally on Purpose, Elfman's new Monday CBS comedy over the weekend. As it was only 22 minutes long I don't think I can sue anyone for theft of time, but I wish I could.

Because I've seen Knocked Up and Suddenly Susan already, and this show is just that movie and that TV show pasted together.

In fact, I swear to the TV gods that the office that Elfman's movie critic character works at is the set from Suddenly Susan, as if the producers thought to themselves, "Yeah, that show got one thing right and it was the look of the office. We'll just add cubicles and it will let people know 'This is a publishing office. This is where people write.'"

(Not to the network and producers ... that's an awfully small office for a big city daily.)

And the shame of it is that is completely wastes the talents of Ashley Jensen (Extras, Ugly Betty).

So, Elfman plays Billie, a film critic who has been pining away for her boss the publisher of the paper (Grant Show, last seen in the critically lauded Swingtown) who can offer to her only a "live me with" offer that just isn't enough. She wants more.

Then she meets a guy named Zack. At this point just replay a bunch of scenes from Knocked Up in your head (without the funny friends) and she gets preggers.

The guy is played by Jon Foster (the very fine Ben Foster's brother). Nothing to write home about, imho. Sorry dude.

There are other people in the cast ... but you know, I just don't think it will be on the air long enough for you to be worried about these details.

If you must, check it tonight after the season premiere of How I Met Your Mother. Then, find something on your DVR that you can record and watch in its stead on Monday nights if you're a fan of the CBS Monday lineup.

NBC spent years trying to come up with the great fourth sitcom to spell the other three they always seemed to have for Thursday nights (Suddenly Susan, Stark Raving Mad, Caroline in the City, etc.). Looks like it will take CBS a while to find a proper fourth as well.

The only decent moment from the show is posted in a clip after the jump, because I'm good like that. Always saving you valuable time so that you can get more viewing in.

This show should be canceled in time for Grant Show to take that Melrose Place gig they've probably been swinging in front of him. A February sweeps appearance, maybe?

We'll see.

Video -- The Good Wife on CBS Rips Through the Headlines, Steps Inside

First off, thanks CBS for the screener. Second, thank you for bringing Julianna Margulies back to TV. I was totally enjoying Canterbury's Law on Fox last year with Julianna also playing a lawyer, albeit not as sympathetic a character as she plays here. Apparently I was only one of a few, however, and it went away too soon.

Here, Margulies plays Alicia Florrick, the wife of an Illinois State's Attorney (Chris Noth) caught in a sex scandal. It's starts, in fact, at the press conference where husband Peter, admits to sex with prostitutes with the dutiful wife standing next to him at the podium.

Quickly however, we veer sharply from Mr. Florrick and concentrate on the Mrs., who with her husband being thrown in the pokey on allegations that he traded sex and drugs for the favors of his office is now the primary breadwinner.

Having graduated top in her class at Georgetown Law School, she hasn't worked since the second year of her marriage and is now competing with a guy almost half her age for a spot at the firm.

And, she and the kids are living with his mom. That can't be too comfortable, huh?

See, it's all set up to make her a much more sympathetic character than the lawyer she played last year (March 2008) for Fox. Plus, as a wife done wrong she is perfectly suited for the case assigned to her at the firm, defending a woman accused of murdering her ex. And that's where I'm going to stop recapping because I don't want to spoil it for you.

Very good cast, including Josh Charles (SportsNight) and Christine Baranski as partners at the firm, but especially Archie Panjabi (right) as Kalinda the office investigator whose sharp tongue and warm heart contrast so well and whose ample cleavage works better than a subpoena, as long as there's a man standing between her and what she needs.

(Panjabi, a UK native of Indian descent who spent some of her youth in Mumbai, would be a great Doctor Who companion. She handles the comedy and pathos equally well and I also imagine that she looks great running, maybe even better than Freema Agyeman, and we all know that's a big part of casting the Doctor's pal.)

More, including two clips, after the jump.

Video -- Community: So It's the Bill Murray Role, As Long As It Isn't One I've Seen Already

I read a couple of reviews of Community before last night's premiere that seemed to speak disparagingly about how Jeff Winger is a role tailor-made for Bill Murray and how in the pilot script there's even a reference to such.

So?

In my book there is absolutely nothing wrong with a new comedy series that serves me up a character that could be considered for the Bill Murray oeuvre, and if someone I really enjoy like TV's Joel McHale is playing that character all the better.

And like all the comedies we love it's not just about Jeff Winger. You can click over the jump for an example of some great ensemble work from the cast (more of that please) and click here for the Bill Murray moment clipped out by Hulu. As usual, after my clip runs you can click the correct link and watch the entire pilot over again if you like.

This is the kind of character comedy that will only get better with time and your familiarity with the relationships. Lower the thermostat on your brain's immediate gratificiation centers and learn how to watch TV again after being fed the tawdry fireworks of reality TV and tabloid-style news coverage and you'll find your way.

2 Clips -- TV.com Taking Questions for NCIS Cast Appearance on CBS Early Show

Finally, a reason to watch the CBS Early Show. Click over to this link at TV.com and give them a question, then set your DVR for the Early Show on Tuesday and see if you are one of the chosen.

I'm not the biggest NCIS fan out there but I've seen my share of episodes, so many that I'm starting to forgive them for losing Sasha Alexander to NBC's E-Ring (which lasted about a heartbeat on the network) and mediocre films.

And Cote de Pablo is fine, don't get me wrong, but there's something about Sasha. She's in the new Jennifer Aniston movie, btw, poor girl. Sasha, if you keep making Jennifer Aniston films (she was in He's Just Not That Into You as well) you may never been seen by your adoring fans again.

Or anyone else, for that matter. Watch this weekend as Love Happens grosses under $3 mil, my prediction.

In fact, here's advice for all actors -- if Jennifer Aniston has chosen a film to star in, it probably sucks and you should just say no. She has completely lost her taste in film scripts. In fact, I would go as far as saying that besides The Good Girl every project she's chosen since Friends ended has been a worse movie than the films she did during Friends, and I'm including Picture Perfect and  The Object of My Affection, the latter being a personal favorite.

Alexander was the lead in the pilot for The Karenskys, the Linwood Boomer pilot that didn't get picked up by CBS this year.

My favorite woman on the show, without a doubt, is Pauley Perrette. Great energy, snappy with her dialogue, and I'm always drawn to alternative types.

After the jump, watch an NCIS season six recap in advance of Tuesday night's season premiere of the show.

Right after, you can catch the series premiere of NCIS: Los Angeles starring LL Cool J, Chris O'Donnell and Oscar-winner Linda Hunt. Watch a clip from their first episode below as well.

Full Episode Video -- SNL: Put Kanye in the Back Row In Between Two Fat Seat Fillers

Really.

And I have notes on the season premiere of Parks & Recreation, so think of this as my one-stop Amy Poehler post for the day.

SNL Weekend Update Thursday hit it out of the park last night from start to stop. From the cold open (can you imagine a trip to the toilet made South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson a reluctant hero of the crazy crew?) to Bill Hader doing James Carville (the size of his dome was funny all by itself) to Jimmy Carter and Michael Steele and Kristin Wiig taking an enormous risk spoofing Madonna's VMA speech.

I can't decide which clip to run, so the whole show is posted after the jump. US only, sorry everyone else.

Of the returning NBC Thursday shows this was, however, the only one that made me laugh out loud, which I miss. Thursdays used to be a more joke-driven night of comedy on the network, now they just except us to giggle uncomfortably at people not doing their jobs very well or acting foolishly.

For me, that's not comedy. That's my personal life. I always giggle uncomfortably when I run into someone that doesn't do their job well, followed usually by me finding someone else to do said job.

Having said that, last night's Parks & Recreation, which I almost didn't watch after being so disappointed with the last four episodes of it's trial last spring, was better. And yeah, I watched because I wanted to see what the gay bar in Pawnee, Indiana looked like.

Looked like a gay bar in the Valley I went to by accident 47 times in 1996.

What was better about the episode? More open, less documentary-like, and a much more likeable Leslie Knope. You really have to like the lead character and last year that was a problem because she made loads of bad decisions in each episode and you can't like someone that's so remarkably bad at managing her work and personal life.

It's the problem I have with Michael Scott on The Office. After a while you just wanna smack him around, and that doesn't make for a fun half hour.

Hulu brings you last night's SNL half hour after the jump. And, bonus!, a Parks & Recreation clip after the jump featuring my Facebook friend Mo Collins (Mad TV) as well. Have at it.

ABC's Flash Forward: Watch the First 18 Minutes Right Here Right Now

For me this is the most anticipated new show of the year.

Watch it now, it's after the jump just waiting for you.

I wish there was a screener in the mail coming my way, but I hear that screeners for this show are very very hard to come by. Still, if someone from ABC wants to make me happy (like you, Jeff Fordis), you can always drop one in the mail for me.

Premieres Sept. 24 at 8 on ABC.

Video -- In Which I Admit to Being Sucked into Melrose Place by Katie Cassidy

I'm not proud of this. I certainly think of myself as a little more highbrow than this. I don't think I can help it, though.

Can't help what? Can't help but be drawn to the CW's Melrose Place reboot, all shiny and new with young hotties like Colin Egglesfield as chef Auggie (seen here to the left lounging in a puddle of water -- no, I don't know why --  from his modeling days) and Katie Cassidy munching on the scenery to my absolute delight.

Throw in a murder mystery and ...

I. Am. So. There.

I didn't expect to be sucked into this. I figured, like The Vampire Diaries, I would squint and cringe my way through the pilot, get all snarkerific about it and get on with the business of finding outstanding quality TV for you.

I was wrong.

It seems to me, especially while watching the second episode last night on the DVR, that they have my number ... drama, abs, catty bitchfests, triceps, flashbacks ... all timed so that, for example, the moment Ella (Cassidy) is finished reading someone up one side and down the other there's some hot guy (Egglesfield) rolling around on the floor with the former Mrs. Michael Mancini in a flashback to the night they met at an AA meeting.

(And while we're at it, let's all give some big ups to Laura Leighton who not only looks great but still has that ... you know ... thing that makes you wanna kiss her then slap her right across the face.)

Of course, I still can't say enough about how unfortunate it is for Ashlee Simpson-Wentz that she has to act after other people who actually know how to deliver a line. It would be better for her if she could act in a vacuum ... or maybe a very under attended one-woman stage show.

I'm just looking for a way to quarantine her acting skills. To make sure no one else catches that flat affect and slump that she employs while listening for her next cue.

(And why does she need a job, anyway? Aren't you people all out buying Fall Out Boy albums? I would be home with my baby if I was her.)

More after the jump, including a Colin Egglesfield behind the scenes clip where shirtlessness is promised but never delivered. The CW can be such a tease.

House Video -- New Exec Prod Hugh Laurie Says He "Just Can't Shut Up"

Laurie: "What happened was I got an extra pip on my shoulder. I was made executive producer and that meant I was invited to meeting I was never invited to before. And once I'm in a meeting I just can't shut up."

Photo shoot by Florian Schneider, who is not the guy who was an original member of the German band Kraftwerk.

This is Florian Schneider in the image to the right. See why I was interested? Mmmmm. Makes you wanna ... become a photographer, huh? And that's the image he constructed at the top of the post.

Not only attractive, but he also seems to be the go-to guy for TV series photo shoots these days. Check out his work at his site at this link.

About  the show, they have a 2-hour season premiere coming up Monday at 8 that starts with the most brilliant drug-addled doctor on television in a psychiatric hospital. The second clip after the jump is a set tour of the psych facility they built for the season six premiere.

This is arguably the most popular television program in the world right now, sold in a bunch of countries (a testament to the years of great work Hugh Laurie has been doing for international audiences).

Yeah, yeah. That's all fine. Now I want Florian Schneider's phone number.

You know, for a photo shoot.

Click over the jump for the clippage.

Video -- Crash Returns for Season Two on Starz Tomorrow Night

Clip after the jump, but first (Starz.com) ...

This all new season of Crash features a mix of individuals from very different sides of the city. Among the new cast members are Eric Roberts (The Dark Knight) as Seth, a billionaire entrepreneur; Linda Park as Maggie, Seth’s beautiful wife; Dana Ashbrook playing Jimmy, a charismatic gambler; and Jake McLaughlin (In the Valley of Elah) as Bo, a former pitching ace.

Returning cast members include Dennis Hopper (Hoosiers, 24) as the newly-sober Ben Cendars; Jocko Sims as Anthony, Ben’s reluctant ally; Ross McCall as Kenny, a security guard looking for a second chance; and Moran Atias as Inez, now the hostess of an exclusive men’s club.

And, you can watch the whole season two premiere right now at this link, or wait until Midnight eastern tonight when it will magically appear at YouTube for a limited time.

So, you can't really miss this unless you're trying.

Video -- Fringe Returns Thursday, Watch Them Shoot THIS Poster

Oh, and there's sound, too. Listen to Joshua Jackson, Anna Torv, the Emmy-worthy John Noble, Blair Brown and Lance Reddick talk about the season to come in the clip after the jumperoo.

The new season starts tomorrow night at 9 on Fox. If you're not caught up, there's always Hulu.

Notice the six-fingered palm print in the cement right in front of the caution tape on the lower right corner. Is there an alternate universe where people are born like that? Is it an upgrade that's available to humans in another dimension? What exactly is going on with that?

And what's fallen into the whole in the ground, anyway? I hope it wasn't the first six-fingered human being.

Questions answered, but only some, by watching the season opener tomorrow. I'm recording Community and 30 Rock tomorrow night and watching Fringe as it airs.

2 Clips -- Jay Leno at 10: Savaged by Critics & Flooded With Lookie-Loos (but these numbers don't really matter)

I say "These numbers don't really matter" because Jay's competition last night was not the same as it will be next week. This week it's the end of Summer reality shows (like the aforementioned Big Brother), specials (like last night's Barbara Walters thing that I didn't even realize was on the air ... funny how you don't know what's gonna be on when you fast forward through all commercials and promos) and reruns.

Starting next week, just about all the 10 pm dramas from ABC and CBS will be new. Private Practice isn't back until the next week but Grey's takes up the 10 pm hour next week with a two-hour premiere that should blow everyone out of the water.

(And next week Jay doesn't get the two-hour Biggest Loser premiere, also running against Summer shows, as a lead in.)

So, among the curious viewers of Jay's first two nights was yours truly. I was of course confused because I was promised new comedy at 10 pm in all those promos and what I got was jokes from a guy whose hair is now completely gray. And the jokes matched the hair on the host.

And the thing with the people sitting in the audience getting to touch the garment of the host, can we do away with that for everything, not just Jay? Because that smacks of a kind of hero worship that I don't think is appropriate. He's a comedian, he's not the Dalai Lama or even Captain Marvel.

Of course, I've never been a fan of the Leno monologue, too many old hands on the script. What is the average age of the guys in the Leno writer's room anyway? I would try to do the math but when you click over the the Leno Show page at IMDB the writers aren't listed.

Other shows writing staffs are listed on the site. Not Jay's.

(Insert joke about how his writers still carve their jokes into stone tablets.)

More after the jump, including the only clip I found to laugh at, from Jim Norton.

The CW Teen Vampires -- Brooding & Earnest vs. Sexy & Dangerous

Welcome to Mystic Falls, where all the teenagers are just slightly older than they should be. Except for the two above (Stefan left, Damon right), who are way way older.

And everyone you care about has an generically European name, like Stefan or Damon 0r Elena (below left), which is weird because the guys, at least in the books, are from Rennaisance era Italy. Here in the series they localize it to Civil War era United States.

Everyone else apparently comes from the San Fernando Valley. Probably because they actually do come from the Valley, btw. I mean, you can't run someone over on Ventura Blvd. anymore without spraying blood on a young ingenue whose Studio City condo mortgage isn't being paid by Daddy back in Alabama or Wisconsin or Shaker Heights, Ohio.

Not that I'm running over ingenues for sport in the Valley. Because that would be wrong.

About the image here below of Elena (Nina Dobrev) and Stefan (Paul Wesley), next week Stefan goes out for the football team. Shit, do they really expect us to believe that vampires play high school football. What happens when some guy gets injured and there's blood? Is Stefan gonna get all dizzy and purportedly nauseous like he did all through the pilot whenever blood was introduced?

And, get this, the episode title next week is Friday Night Bites. Ugh.

The name of the town in the books, btw, is Fell's Landing, but the legal types at The CW couldn't get the name of the town cleared legally. Which begs the question "How did the Gossip Girl producers get to use New York City but this show doesn't get to call the town in its show whatever it wants?

Okay, don't get hung up on that, because there's plenty more to get hung up on as we go along.

The basic deal here so far is this: Elena's and her brother Jeremy's parents die in a car crash. He spends the Summer doing drugs and hooking up with "the slutty girl" while she writes in her diary, breaks up with her boyfriend who she's just not passionate about and life is too short to be stuck in that kind of relationship, even at 17, I guess. School starts. We meet her very hot high school girl friends. New guy (Stefan) comes in, causing a stir among them.

Meanwhile, people are dying due to bites on the neck. Uh oh!

Then we find out Stefan's a vampire, but it's not him doing the killing he tells someone who shares his last name and is his "uncle" as far as the townspeople know but could not possibly be considering Stefan is an old vampire.

(The "uncle," btw, is a new addition from the book, too.)

More after the jump.

Fringe Season Two -- Is Anna Torv Better Blonder? Watch Season One Recap

Season One                                                                                                      Season Two

Blonder, right?

Is it something in the Vancouver water? Or did she hang out at Bondi Beach all Summer long?

(Actually, I'm pretty sure she's been dividing her time between the set of Speilberg's HBO miniseries The Pacific in Australia and the States where she's getting settled with new husband Mark Valley from the new Fox series Human Target.)

Is it just something that happens when your character goes from one universe to a parallel universe? Because I think this also might have happened to Billie Piper between seasons two and four of Doctor Who. And, Billie suffered the side effect of a lisp, strangely. Hey, if Anna has a side effect let's hope it's something that stablizes her US accent. I know, it's not a big thing but it bugs sometimes.

I just don't think it fits the character for her to be lightening her hair. I don't think Olivia Dunham spends the time in the chair at the salon. It's just not her nature.

Other physical changes for season two? Joshua Jackson's really leaned out. Someone send him some donuts before he gets all manorexic.

After the jump, watch the very quick season one recap. Or, click over to Hulu and catch some full episodes before the season premiere Thursday at 9 on Fox.

I'll have Fringe posts all week in advance of the premiere. Also, always check out Fringebloggers.com and our pal Roco for all the latest.

And btw, yes, I'm still pissed that John Noble was robbed of an Emmy nod.

SNL Guest Lineup Announced (or, they've stolen my fantasy orgy invite list)

And it's all here in two paragraphs from Variety:

Actress Megan Fox and U2 will give "Saturday Night Live" an attention-getting season opener when it returns on Sept. 26.

(snip)

"Saturday Night Live" will open with four new shows in a row. Ryan Reynolds is the host on Oct. 3, with musical guest Lady Gaga. Drew Barrymore and Gerard Butler are hosts in the following two weeks. Regina Spektor and Shakira bring the music.

See what I mean? Now granted, I usually wouldn't have much time for Drew Barrymore and Regina Spektor at an orgy, but I love Regina's music plus I've never been with a Russian person (it's on "my list") and it's frickin' Drew Barrymore after all and I'm sure we could find a reasonably well-lit corner free of lubricants to sit and have coffee and talk.

Shakira? I'd really wanna see all those body contortions she does in her videos and if they have any, uh, additional uses.

Megan Fox? Yes, I would have sex with Megan Fox. Because for me there's something very male about her (and I'm not talking about those adam's apple shaving rumors). I like her aggressive nature. I like her sense of humor.

Of course, it could just devolve into an oily milleau where Ryan Reynolds, Gerry Butler and I lube up and set about trying to find out if Gaga really has a penis.

Probably would.

Definitely would.

Don't know what I would do with Lady Gaga's "Little Smokie" if I found it, but there's so much talk about it I'm fascinated at the prospect of being the person who breaks the story.

And I guess I should preemptively make amends to Gaga's lovely vagina, per this Australian news report (HipHopRx.com):

Lady Gaga who’s known for her nip-slip moments, bulging undergarments, and more, says her genitals are not taking it kindly to the he-she rumors.

In an interview with Australia’s Nova morning radio station with co-host Meshel, the singer was questioned about whether she had a tiny penis.

Lady Gaga, who’s not shy of sharing the thoughts of her body parts, stated that her beautiful vagina was very offended.

“… I’m not offended—my vagina is offended,” stated Lady Gaga.

Recently Lady Gaga was in the mix of a hermaphrodite rumor after a suspected bulge was seen protruding from her outfit which is nothing new.

I dunno, what does it look like to you? I'm not one for staring at women's crotches, maybe you are. Leave a comment below with your take.

Clip Bonanza -- Get Glee Tonight at 9 on Fox and Watch Matthew Morrison Rap

Watch Matthew Morrison rap? You mean Matthew Morrison the Broadway star of South Pacific and singer of show tunes?

Yes! Stop being that way. And watch the clip. Except for you, Kanye. You'll probably just complain about ... well, you always find something now, don't you.

After that, watch the Hulu clip from Chris Colfer's NYC Glee Promo Tour, but first ... read this profile on Colfer from today's Los Angeles Times, which includes:

Colfer, a community theater actor from Clovis, Calif., wasn’t just looking for his first professional job. He was face-to-face with the television writer he most admired — standing in his office, surrounded by “Nip/Tuck” props and photographs, and all he wanted to do was ask him for spoilers for the next season. Instead, he dropped his script pages, scattering them everywhere.

“I was thinking, ‘I can’t do this. I can’t sing and dance in front of this man. I idolize him so much,’” said Colfer, now 19.  “So I immediately peed a little. I’m horrible at auditions anyway. Maybe that’s why I never got anything. It’s my Achilles' heel. Is that who it was — Achilles? Just checking. It could be Aries or Hercules and some scholar’s gonna write me a letter.”

(snip)

“He’s never been formally trained and I just thought he was so talented and gifted and unusual,” Murphy recalled. “I’ve never seen anyone who looks like him or acts like him or sounds like him. You’d think he’d been at Juilliard for six years but he hasn’t.”

Still, Colfer didn’t get the part. Not that part anyway. Murphy recognized something else in the unknown performer, something that inspired him to invent a new character: a bit of himself.

And, I'm really trying to resist posting another Lea Michele clip, because there are other people in this show besides him but I just love her. Oh, what the hell, three clips after the jump.