I Am A TV Junkie

Which Late Night Comic is Engineering a Massive Human v. Technology International Incident for Paris

Interpol, you have been warned.

Craig, in Paris, with Geoff, Kristen Bell, Michael Naidus ("Naidus!") and hopefully a suitcase full of pals inc. Sid.

As you know, the lovely Ms. Bell doesn't exactly have what you would call affection for Geoff. Craig knows this and is apparently stoking the flames of conflict and completely willing to engineer an international incident.

Thus the Interpol tip.

That bitch! She does love the drama now, doesn't she. No, no, not Kristen, I'm talking about the Scottish guy.

I'll remind you of this as we get closer. To August. Which is like forever from now.

In the meantime, watch last night's monologue. Click this, it'll pop up right here.

Video -- "The Robot Made Me Cry" - Craig Ferguson on Twitter

I love when Craig makes himself laugh. This is the first time I'm seen the robot make him cry.

A truly inspired tweetmail segment from Craig and Geoff.

Video -- Which Late Night Host Has "Done Tons of Really Weird Sexy Stuff"

And not just that, there's cannibals and paint huffing and Louisville and lotsa Silence of the Lambs references in a particularly funny tweet/email segment. I know at the beginning of the clip Craig himself says it's not but he's wrong.

Watch it by clicking THIS.

Tonight Craig has John Waters and Pauley Perrette from NCIS and the rest of the week offers guests as diverse as ... okay, not so diverse. Still good, though. On Thursday the guests are Exporting Raymond filmmaker Phil Rosenthal and Juliette Lewis. Friday brings Will Ferrell (yeah, Will Ferrell!) and Olivia Munn.

(Oh course you would know that if you following RSA News on Twitter or Facebook or just bookmarked their site, they keep me and the rest of the Robot Skeleton Army up to date.)

Video -- History Lessons with Craig Ferguson: The HMS Bounty, Ministry of Silly Walks

Who says you can't learn anything from a late night vulgar lounge comedian?

Craig teaches you about the real life HMS Bounty in last night's monologue (LINK). And more important, he has just shown son Milo (10) the Ministry of Silly Walks sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus (LINK).

Tonight Craig has Bob Saget and Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings. Saget indicates there will be a lot of "crikey dingo" in tonight's show. Or if you rather, "Wassa Commina Go" or "Tootsie Frootsie" or "Ooh La La." 12:37 am, CBS, they care, you watch.

UPDATED: The Only Tina Fey Interview You Need, Tonight w/ Craig Ferguson

UPDATE: Watch the interview, it's in two parts: Part One here and Part B here. Thank you, once again, to RSA General Mal who provides the clips and all good things Craig Ferguson-related.

I know, this is a picture of the Olsen twins. Believe it or not, this came up when I searched Google Images for pics of Tina Fey + Bossypants, which is the title of her book (but then you already know that).

I have no idea why this pic showed up, I was looking for images of Tina holding the book. Well, here's the cover of the book, anyway.

I decided Tina would more than likely prefer I posted Mary-Kate and Ashley, though, so I am. As long as I'm posting the cover image, that is.

But about the Olsen twins, since they're here, when did they turn into Sally Kellerman in Back to School? Right?

Anyhow, do something now ... take a disco nap, set your alarm, set your DVR, do something, but make sure you see Craig Ferguson talk to Tina Fey tonight on his show.

If she's lucky, she'll get to do the Secretariat dance. And I'm interested to see what she'll make of Geoff who frankly is an acquired taste.

In your pants.

Of course all the comedy types with a memoir come to Craig since his great success with American On Purpose, which of course is still available at your local bookseller and from Amazon.com in print or for the kindle or even audiobook read by the author.

And here's a link to buy that and then a link to buy Tina's book in all it's various forms. The middle icon in each is the Kindle edition, the final icon for the audiobook.

 

And then after the jump you can watch a 30 Rock video of the cast celebrating their 100th episode and a recent Craig monologue, just because I wanna spread some love.

Craig's on tonight at 12:37 eastern on CBS. They care, you know.

Video -- Annie Gilroy (from Lesbian Row) Last Night on @CraigyFerg with @CussingBunny

Annie has a very infectious laugh. And Sid is a really pervy but fluffy bunny who has invited Annie down from the not-so eponymous Lesbian Row. In fact, in the time that Lesbian Row has existed I don't think any of the four seats in the row have been sat in by actual lesbians, though a recent lesbian emailer to the show promised she intended to eventually show up. Fingers crossed!!!

(Note to lesbians who are not Craig fans ... it's all done with love and yes, there's a little bit of fun being had but not at the expense of lesbians ... CBS cares. One thing though, Annie apologizes to her mom on air when Craig later mentions her sitting in Lesbian Row. No one needs to apologize for being in Lesbian Row or soon-to-be-established Gay Aisle -- patent pending -- or whatever it will be called.)

Annie and Sid the Cussing Bunny when you click this.

Annie and Craig wrapping up the show when you click this.

Bonus clip, Chris Hardwick shows up for tweets & emails when you click this.

Thanks for the clips, Malinky.

Video -- Shatner on Craig Ferguson, His New Major Tom-Related Album

I don't feel like writing too much more today so here, just watch the clip. Click this and it'll pop up.

Funny stuff. Shatner is always a good time.

Doesn't comment on health care, though. I guess it's just Bieber talking #hcr today.

Presenting the Evidence --- Late Night Talk Show Or Portal to Another Place and Time

That's the question. Are we looking at the set of a late night talk show? Or  did cameras catch a rare moment when a portal opened into another dimension, a dimension where Lisa Kurdrow always gets a chroma-blue background and chyron?

I'm just sayin'.

A ha! I think I know what's going on now. It's all starting to make sense.

My High Five -- Notes on 2010, Our Most Television-Watching Year in History

Yea! We did it. A round of applause, a slap on the back, a toast to our perseverance. In 2010, according to Nielsen we sat on our asses and watched more TV than we ever have.

Woo hoo!

That's right, even with all the distractions of work and family, great books and music, tumultuous world events ... even with all that going on (including the Bieberpocalypse) we topped our record number of hours per week of viewing.

New York Times:

Americans watched more television than ever in 2010, according to the Nielsen Company. Total viewing of broadcast networks and basic cable channels rose about 1 percent for the year, to an average of 34 hours per person per week. The generation-long shift to cable from broadcast continued, but subtly, as the smallest of the big four broadcast networks, NBC, still retained more than twice as many viewers as the largest basic cable channel, USA.

Lucky for NBC that they also own USA Network, huh? At least the cable channel nipping at their heels is a "sister network."

Of course I take issue with this number. First of all, I watch so much more TV than that. Secondly, I contend that the average American might spend that amount of time in front of TV sets that are turned on, but I don't think they're always watching.

Another stat from Nielsen this year had to do with how many of us are watching TV and browsing the net at the same time and it's a lot us and growing (.pdf file, new window). I've tried watching TV with my laptop in front of me and I invariably have to hit the rewind button on the DVR as I get sucked in by my Twitter timeline. I don't get how people do it.

Of course there are so many more program choices these days it's no wonder viewership is up. The shame of it is that there's much less chance that show you wanna talk about around the watercooler at the office  was seen by any of your friends. That kind of thing used to bring people together and that doesn't happen as much anymore.

After the jump are five things I particularly liked that happened in or on TV this past year ... I was too lazy to do this when everyone else did needed some time to ruminate.

Video -- The Lost @CraigyFerg Doctor Who Number, Now Found!

Enjoy it! Watch till the end or you'll miss The Doctor.

Video -- Craig Ferguson, Matt Smith, a Dalek and Chris Hardwick Walk into a Tardis ...

... and I don't have the end of that joke, but if you do leave it in the comments.

My favorite moment? Hardwick's bigger on the inside joke.

Previously ... I complain about UK stars never doing press in the US (link). Now what will I complain about? Oh don't you worry, I'll find something.

One note: What's with male guests on the show doing a pelvic thrust action during the Secretariat dance? It's not about sexytime it's about the joy of Secretariat, no thrusting required.

Selleck got it right.

Video -- Did Craig Ferguson Give a Reach Around to a Dalek on National TV?

I dunno, you be the judge. Craig and Matt Smith (Doctor 11) on the show with Chris Hardwick and of course the dalek will be back for ... third base? What is third base when you're a dalek? After Letterman on CBS.

Video -- Sexytime With @CraigyFerg and The Good Guys' Jenny Wade

I've highlighted the image above to show you that it was the moment at the beginning of this interview when The Good Guys star Jenny Wade explained to Craig that she had seen other women on late night talk shows wearing dresses so short that when they cross their legs in that way their dresses ride up and show a great deal of thigh.

Craig did not understand the problem with that.

I, of course, immediately thought of women on late night talk shows wearing dresses so short that when they cross their legs in the OTHER way they tend to flash what's between their legs. And then of course I thought of ... okay, everybody now ... Jennifer Aniston.

But you knew it would be sexytime when Jenny Wade walked out from backstage. She was wearing this shiny skimpy top that you can see above, but when she walks in it (watch the clip, it's after the jump) it moves in such a way that it's all boobies comin' atcha, shiny boobies and ... well, just watch Craig's face.

You've probably just watched this week's ep of Jenny's show, now watch her flirt shamelessly with his chattiness, she seems to know exactly what to say to get his motor running.

And then, BONUS!, Craig with his pal Drew Carey from last night as well. After the jumperoni. Yes, see the incredible shrinking host of The Price is Right.

Tonight on the show join Craig when he makes the boss' wife, Julie Chen (The Chenbot!) turn red.

Tonight on Craig Ferguson, The Cast of The Big Bang Theory (or at least the guys)

Kaley Cuoco, as you might have heard, took a dive off of a horse or a Ford Mustang (something equine) and is recovering.

The rest of them will be with Craig tonight starting on their set and then they get to be held prisoner in the dark, leaky confines of Craig's studio with Geoff and the row of seats reserved for lesbians and hopefully Sid the bunny rabbit will show up to scream FUCK at someone.

Watch some of Craig's cold opening in a clip after the jump.

The show is one of three that you might wanna catch tomorrow night at 8 pm. What to do, what do to?

Thank You Tim Gunn For Slaying Dragons! First Anna Wintour, Now "Sad & Pathetic" Taylor Momsen

First Tim had his say on Anna Wintour (see the Daily Show interview with that exchange by clicking here) and now news from E! (via TV Squad) that during a recent guest stint on Gossip Girl Tim had some advice for Taylor Momsen:

A few weeks back, Gunn, who's making the rounds at Fashion Week to tout his new book, Gunn's Golden Rules: Life's Little Lessons for Making It Work, shot a guest spot as himself on the fourth episode of this season's Gossip Girl. And he found Momsen to be "sad" and pathetic."

"What a diva!" he told E! News of the 17-year-old. "She was pathetic, she couldn't remember her lines, and she didn't even have that many. I thought to myself 'why are we all being held hostage by this brat?"

Gunn said he is all about taking the high road, but that if he was a show regular, he'd take her aside in her dressing room and give her a good talking to.

The main problem, he says, was her constant BlackBerry use.

"I'd say, 'You know young lady, there are hundreds of thousands of girls who are just as attractive and even smarter than you. Why are you acting like this show is a huge burden on you?' She was on her phone during every break, I wanted to tell her, 'If you weren't on your BlackBerry, you can retain this stuff.' ''

And he had some remarks for some alleged "real" housewives, but don't we all.

Ugh, Andy Cohen, look what you did. LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!!

Tim's most recent appearance with Aquaman (from The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson) can be seen by clicking this link. I'm pretty sure he has nothing but kind words for the superhero.

The Only "Fearless" Craig Ferguson Shark Week Clip You'll See Online Today

I think, because I've been looking now for days and this quick talk with the Chenbot. You know, Julie, she of the CBS Early Show (yes, they still do that show every morning while you're ... doing other things).

Watch it by clicking this link. Thanks to a certain someone and their TV's Craig Ferguson YouTube account. Thanks, Malinky.

There's just the one other clip at the Discovery Channel site (LINK) with Craig in it, the one where he's talking to Fallon on the phone, but no embed codes. You would think a tech savvy place like Discovery would get the advantage of their clips being seen around the web.

You would think.

Tomorrow night Craig dives with experts and looks sharks in the eye at 10pm eastern, on ...

SHARK BITES: ADVENTURES IN SHARK WEEK

Premiering Wednesday, August 4, 10PM e/p

Late, Late Show Host, CRAIG FERGUSON has always loved SHARK WEEK. But when he gets the chance to get off the couch and be in the show, he gets in way over his head. Discovery wants him go to the Bahamas to swim with, touch, and, if he has the guts, FEED sharks. And Ferguson starts to have second thoughts about getting close to the apex predators of the sea. Especially since he will not have the protection of a cage. Everything Ferguson sees and experiences reminds him of what he has learned from watching the Discovery Channel. Woven into Ferguson's journey are clips from the scariest, most exciting moments of the last 20 years of SHARK WEEK. The results are funny, scary, and ultimately very moving. Terrified of getting in the water and too proud not to, Ferguson makes the leap into an ocean full of hungry sharks.

Man, someone at Discovery.com really wanted to make Craig sound like a pussy, screengrab above right notwithstanding. Probably just one of those damned online writer/editor scumbags ... hey, wait a minute!

One other thing ... you know how CBS had kind of embraced the whole "Chenbot" meme for a bit? Never any mention of of the -bot suffix when Julie's around Geoff Peterson, strangely. You would think there would be.

You would think.

Craig Ferguson Blows Our Minds (without even mentioning a car that runs on water)

You think it's just an interview with the former star of 24 Mary Lynn Rajskub and the hair extensions that may or may not match her natural hair, right? Then he totally blows your mind with this (click here).

Totally freaked me out!

Watch the whole interview by clicking this. You tell me, are we actually watching Craig on TV or are we keyed into his delusion so closely that we can't tell if it's real or ... is it the Matrix?

I think we all did too many drugs in our youths, maybe.

Baby News, Craig and Megan Ferguson Expecting

You can look at the tweet yourself by clicking here or just look below. And congrats to the Fergusons.

Contrary to popular belief, the baby will not be Australian. Or a fluffy bunny from South London named Sid.

Catch Craig tonight for more. You should be catching Craig every night, btw. He is all that matters in network late night.

I'm expecting, too, though what I'm expecting is chicken. Or at least the promise of chicken.

Video -- Jane Adams From Hung Just Can Seem to Stop Talking About ...

... you know ... big penises.

Don't shoot the messenger, I didn't take a role as a pimp to a endowed Detroit gym coach AND then visit her friend Craig (who claims to be same, in fact he's doing so in the image above!) on his talk show to talk about what sounded suspiciously like a date (right?) and then continue to talk about penises. 

Still it was fun to watch. Click here for it.

Video -- Hot In Cleveland Star Valerie Bertinelli with Craig Ferguson

Ah yes, worlds colliding again. Love that!

Just sit back, relax, and click this link. I haven't posted a Craig clip in a while, not that I'm not watching every episode, I just ... well, I've been lazy.

Enjoy. 

Catch a preview of tonight's episode of Hot in Cleveland by clicking here. At 10 pm eastern on TV Land.

Video -- Kevin Pollak Interviews Craig Ferguson

Haven't even watched it yet but it's right here for you by clicking this link.

The Kevin Pollak Chat Show, brought to you by Smirnoff, who have not and will not sent me a bottle for mentioning them. Though they could if they liked.

Have at it. No Craig until about 15 minutes in, but you'll miss the Walken impression if you skip to that.

Who's The Only Late Night Host Smart Enough For a PBS Special?

It's our Craig, of course!

Yes, our Craig. He'll be hosting America's Orchestra: Celebrating 125 Years of the Boston Pops, the annual Fourth of July celebration from the Esplanade in Boston.

Guests include Audra McDonald, Kristin Chenoweth, Josh Groban, James Taylor, Vanessa Williams, Yo-Yo Ma, Wynton Marsalis, and Roberta Flack.

Craig even asks you to watch. Click this link for it.

Video -- Happy Birthday @CraigyFerg, Take the Night Off and Run The #Peabody Episode, Okay?

What a perfect day for Craig to be celebrating his birthday.

Today the Peabody Awards are being presented so it's doubly celebratory for the Late Late Show gang. And tonight Craig is running the Desmond Tutu interview with a new pre-taped intro so Craig has the night off to ... hang with Geoff?

Speaking of Geoff, he sounds like a combo of George Takei and Tim Gunn.

Watch a Tim Gunn style tip by clicking here. '80s edition!

Craig's guests the rest of the week include Jon Favreau, Jakob Dylan, Dennis Quaid, Holly Hunter, Ben Kingsley and Sarah McLachlan.

Watch Friday's monologue by clicking here, it's the best in late night.

As a #CraigFerguson Fan, I Take Delight in Certain Search Results That Land Readers Here ...

... but my favorite happened this AM when someone sidled up to Google and typed just two words into their search bar ...

... Ass Mode ...

and landed here. 

I declare that this blog officially operates in ass mode. No irony there, huh? Bring all your ass mode queries this way.

Hell, it just makes sense.

Jenna Davis on Facebook at the official Late Late Show page publicly wonders what ass mode actually is. There are a lot of responses posited, but in my opinion if you have to ask what ass mode is you'll never really understand.

Screengrab above from my favorite version of the tweet/email jingle, the one I call the Bowie remix. Watch it by clicking here.

In order of my liking the others are (my names, yours my vary) ...

Brian Ferry remix

Original

Country

I also from time to time think of  "Original" as the Mike Myers remix. Not the horror character, the SNL player who used to make good movies.

Video -- Our TV Pal #CraigFerguson Gets His Tweet Curated & Illustrated & Comes Out (as a #DoctorWho Fan)

This is the tweet in question.

Now, click over to this site Museum of Modern Tweets to see what came of it.

Motivation? There are strippers in high heels involved. And bacon. Get clickin'! Jim Gaffigan will probably click over just for the yummy yummy bacon.

Note to Mrs. Ferguson: Not to worry, we all know Craig doesn't do strip clubs on the road ... unless he gets a weekend nighttime shift and he can dance under the name Krispy Kreamer.

Now, about the video portion of our post, watch Craig talk about Doctor Who. That's right, finally he comes out as a fan (and his son, too)!

Yes, my world's collide, again! Love that! Click here to watch, he starts talking about my other favorite show and the space/time continuum at the 1:15 mark.

Craig's on tour this week, you can follow him on Twitter by clicking here .

@LollipopTheater You Say? But Of Course, I Reply! #Lollipop Theater #CraigFerguson #RSA

As a member in decent standing of the Robot Skeleton Army it's my duty today to mention the fine folk at Lollipop Theatre (LINK) an "organization dedicated to bringing the magic of movies currently in theaters to children confined to hospitals nationwide due to chronic or life-threatening illnesses. Our goal is to create a fun escape from the daily reality of the illnesses these children face and to offer them and their families a moment of normalcy in an otherwise stressful environment."

Today, Craig Ferguson fans on Twitter (the aforementioned Robot Skeleton Army) are tweeting to raise funds for this group and their good works for kids, and I'm adding this blog to the long list of sites linking today to them for donations.

Click here, give what you can, bring the magic of movies to kids in need of a pick me up.

I was a kid who was constantly ill (spent all of third grade home with tutors due to Rheumatic Fever) so I know what it's like to be a sick kid isolated from friends and classmates. These kids have it worse off than I did ... most facing life-threatening illness.

More about the organization from the Today show by clicking this link.

Make it a better day for them. I'm clicking this link now to donate some of the billions earned here at the blog (okay, it's not millions, but it keeps my Paypal account on the plus side). Use your Paypal account or a major credit card.

I thank you, Craig thanks you, and the Robot Skeleton Army send a collective "Cheers!" to you and yours.

Video -- Full @WandaOnFox Ep With @CraigyFerg, @DrewFromTV, @WendyShow

Just in case you missed it last night. I'm gonna watch later on. We'll all talk about it later.

Craig Ferguson, Drew Carey, Wendy Williams and Wanda? All at once?

I'm so there.

Video -- It's The #PeabodyAward Winning Late Late Show With #CraigFerguson

Many of the shows we love here at IAmATVJunkie.com (set that bookmark, America) are Peabody winners this year announced today, see this link) and I'll have clips or full episodes for you throughout the day.

First off, our @CraigyFerg, who btw was instrumental in my keeping a reasonably even keel during my recent family tragedy, nothing like a good laugh at the end of the day. But that's not why he's a winner, it's for this interview (LINK to part one of three) with Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

All kinds of love all over the net for that Scottish Conan guy today, and well deserved. I'm sure he would be telling all of us to stop with that damned applause.

Craig talks about the interview to a bookstore audience during the American on Purpose tour, Fora TV has it at their YouTube account in this clip (LINK).

Hottest show in late night, funniest show on CBS (sorry Big Bang Theory, you're a close second) and congrats to all involved.

Things Learned From the #CraigFerguson Show -- Michael Sheen Loves Roy Orbison in Cling Film Fiction

This is Roy Orbison.

This is Michael Sheen. It's a particularly good photo of Sheen (isn't he scrummy?) but I digress.

This may be the only blog post you ever see that references both of them. It was Sheen, a recent guest on "the hottest show in late night" who told Craig Ferguson (watch the clip here, it happens at about 6:40) and in turn all of us about the work of Ulrich Haarbürste, who writes fiction about his terrapin Jetta and wrapping the late singer-songwriter Roy Orbison in clingfilm.

(Clingfilm = Handi Wrap, Glad Wrap, etc.)

(There's a novel, too, but I haven't gotten around to ordering it yet.)

These stories are not to be missed. I have clicked over to Ulrich's site every day since Sheen mentioned it on air. The stories have a certain something about them that should not be missed.

There is also animated video at YouTube based on one of the stories. Haven't watched it yet, I thought we might do that together. Click here for that.

And again, many thanks to Michael Sheen. I am still indescribably fascinated with this work.

His Chattiness on Tour: #CraigFerguson @CraigyFerg Adds October Carnegie Hall Date

Who do you get to Carnegie Hall? You do a crap show in the middle of the night that isn't really a crap show at all, turn in the funniest monologue on TV on a nightly basis, deconstruct the format just shy of where it cracks, book interesting people instead of just actors who have shows and movies to plug, learn a new Spanish word nightly, amass a Robot Skeleton Army on Twitter ...

... and then you get on the N train at 6th Ave. and travel uptown.

Note to everyone in the world ... I am more than happy to accompany you to the Scottish Conan guy's appearance at Carnegie Hall. Just send first class airline tickets and book me a suite at an Ian Schrager hotel and I'm there.

Okay, business class and a room at the New York Hilton.

Coach and a Quality Inn?

Baggage and The East Side Baths?

Bus and the Port Authority Bus Terminal?

C'mon people, I'm great company, you could at least pop for a Holiday Inn!

I guess I'll just have to continue to watch Craig nightly on CBS and at CBS.com.

Carnegie Hall tix at Live Nation.

More Craig tour dates here.

And, Craig's Comedy Central DVD A Wee Bit Of Revolution is available by clicking this Amazon link.

Video -- Jersey Shore: The Motion Picture?

From tonight's episode of The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson.

Hat tip to Zap2It.com.

The Late Late Show, Craig's 1000th Episode -- It's All About Wavy

Big stars, beautiful dancing girls (a blonde, a brunette, a redhead) with a hot guy in leather, music, jokes ... but, it's all about a Crocodili-Alligator who lives in the Los Angeles sewer system.

And, (ominously) dum-dum-dum, he's not the only one.

Watch some of way's monologue by clicking this link.

More on the big 1000th episode spectacular later today. It's one we'll be talking about for ages.

Sneak Peek Video -- Craig Ferguson's 1000th Show Tonight, and Heeeeere's Wavy!

Video -- Great Moments in Craigstory: St. Patrick's Day With Jon Stewart

Craig: "It's true, though, I only think of myself as a puppet."

Aha! That's how it all started. Hey, speaking of puppets, you DO know that Wavy is the host of tonight's 1000th episode, right?

Best of Wavy clip at this link.

From March 17, 2005, Craig flew to NYC and spent some time with The Daily Show's Jon Stewart and marveled at the size of his desk.

Jon on the disparity of the size of their TV desks: "Your desk will grow if you rub it."

They kvell over executive producer of The Late Late Show, Peter Lassally, laugh about drunk New Yorkers and more at this link.

Video -- Great Moments in Craigstory: On His 45th Birthday He's Mistaken For Bob Barker

Craig seen above with Barker and guests from a different episode.

Watch Craig talk about turning 45 and becoming a man of a certain age at this link.

Video -- Great Moments in Craigstory: All Lip Synching, All Dancing Ferguson, Cast, Puppets!

In my opinion, the best musical number in the Craigstory of the show. The puppets, the cast, and Craig in the porniest pornstache ever seen on network television.

Plus, it introduced me to the Duran Duran cover of White Lines (get it at iTunes at this link), the classic Grandmaster Flash hit of my club days.

Ah, my club days ... there are now laws pending or on the books in 17 states that make it a crime for me to dance in public, but Craig has the moves and that great shaking heinie.

Watch it at this link.

Video -- Great Moments In Craigstory: Speaking Out About Britney's Meltdown

Get it? Craigstory?

Craig + History = Craigstory.

One of the definitive Craig Ferguson moments, at this link. Click it or hover over the filmstrip graphic from Apture.com, but watch it no matter what.

And Britney, if you're out there, maybe you celebrate Craig's 1000th episode today by thinking kindly of Craig or maybe you send over some luscious sweet surprise to Television City, the guard at the Artists' Entrance will know what to do with it.

Six Clips! "I Know!" Your Daily Craig -- BBT's Jim Parsons, 1000th Ep Tweet-A-Thon

 

Six clips?

 "I know!"

You must watch them all or Santa Craig won't come down your chimney.

Parsons: "This was a real dump last time I was here."

I love when people who watch Craig Ferguson (do I have to mention weeknights after Dave on CBS?) are on with Craig because they get in on the joke. And of course the last time Jim was on the show one of the VERY FEW lights that grace the stage blew out and Craig had to move over to the guest chair and have Jim move to the almost-never-used second guest chair (last time I think was the Canadian engagement couple).

Watch the interview in two parts right here and right here.

Now, remember tomorrow in Craig's big big big and very exciting 1000th episode, which I'm hoping will include a musical number, many sketches (another one here), maybe the return of Tim Gunn answering Aquaman's email and so many surprises that you can't even count them.

The Craig fan legion of course is planning a 1000th episode Tweet-A-Thon and I offer up any and all of my Craig posts here for tweeting. I don't tweet myself (because I'm just lame, I guess) but everyone is welcome to take stuff I've written and tweet away.

Tweet-A-Thon preview video from YouTube's Malinky2Stoatir which interestingly includes Doctor Who footage of David Tennant (great minds, they DO think alike) by clicking here.

And, I'll also have extra Craig content tomorrow, all kinds of stuff for your tweeting needs.

I think they should just let Craig go all night until The Early Show, but that damn Shamwow ad has to run in an endless loop on some local stations, apparently. I'd rather see Craig read my email all night. Not just my email to him, all my email. Better than having to read it all!

Much love to the fans, the group members and to the LipSynchingScot who does the bulk of the heavy lifting. Cheers to you!

Daily Craig Extra -- Marie Claire Readers (79% of Them Currently) Want to Bed the Scottish Conan Guy

 

Okay, it's not just Marie Claire readers,. Me too. I voted just now, and you can too, at this link.

Because who doesn't love to laugh in bed. Plus, he's the gayest straight guy on TV.

What I love about Craig is that he does the gay jokes with such respect. He has great long-term relationships with my gay brethren from the UK and US, he's played gay with great respect for us, he's keyed into gay culture, he's never talking down or derisively to his gay audience ...

... he's a mensch.

When Leno does a gay joke, in comparison, I cringe. Kimmel? The same. 

And he's damned sexy, no matter what he does. But humor is my sexy trigger, after all. Watch a sexy compilation of Craig stills with appropriate music (VIDEO LINK).

Last night's monologue, the best monologue on TV nightly, by clicking or hovering here.

Go vote at that Marie Claire link above, no matter who you are, and let's run this thing up.

Way up.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig -- World's Collide Edition with Joel McHale, 1000th Ep Tweet-A-Thon

You know how you think that all your favorite TV people probably live near each other and hang out together? Well, in this case it's true.

Revelation: Joel was recently at Craig Ferguson's home. From what I gather from Tuesday's show they live in the same neighborhood. No stalking of Craig or Joel allowed, however. Stressed people are not as funny and I don't need to know them, I just need them to be funny on my teevee.

I love when my TV worlds collide.

Joel interview parts one and two here, email segment here. (Hover over the filmstrip graphic and Apture will bring it to you).

Significant email segment here, it provides English usage education and reference to Manville, NJ, the SNL/Mike Myers "If it's not Scottish, it's crap" sketch and Craig's comments on Saudi Arabia.

Have at it, and remember that Craig's 1000th episode airs on December 15th. Once again, LipSyncingScot (Malinky2Stoatir at YouTube, the kind soul that provides my Craig clips) and the gang at Facebook are doing a Craig Tweet-A-Thon for that auspicious event.

FB members can click here for the details.

Stuff I'm Thankful For ... Craig Ferguson Edition -- Peter Capaldi (as promised) and Morgan Freeman's Rules

"Give us this day our daily Craig, and forgive us our spit-taking, as we forgive those who spit-take against us. Lead us not into the Shamwow commercial without discussing what we've learned and deliver us to that cute kitty getting blown up or shot or turned into a drag queen before we bid farewell."

Two clips after the jump, first Craig's ol' pal from Scotland (and star of The Thick of It and Torchwood Children of Earth) Peter Capaldi.

After that, Morgan Freeman calls in and makes sure the show treats him in a manner to which he is accustomed.

Both after the jump.

Clip Bonanza -- Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig: Ferguson With Neil Patrick Harris Last Week, Peter Capaldi Tonight!

The one the only Neil Patrick Wait-for-it Harris after the jump, but first ...

If you have read American on Purpose (still available in your bookstores, Amazon, Audible.com and major retailers) you know that Peter Capaldi, star of UK hits like The Thick of It, Skins, Pinochet in Suburbia, etc. is one of Craig's old dear pals from Scotland.

We know Peter mostly from his star turn as the bureaucrat left holding the ball in the international TV hit Torchwood: Children of Earth (image above). He is a big TV and film star in Britain and we cool people in the states have great reverence for his acting.

He's on Craig, tonight, so get those DVRs rolling at (hand over my mouth) "the time in your area that it airs."

(You gotta be a fan of the show to get that joke.)

I have no idea what he's promoting. Maybe it's just a social call. Nah, there hasn't been "just a social call" on a latenight talker since the Carson days.

Watch Neil after the jump (two parts). Watch Capaldi tonight (and for my UK friends I'll post the clip tomorrow). Also, catch him in a clip from the Torchwood miniseries as your third clip, making this a clip bonanza (that's the threshold, three clips or more).

Neil's parents' restaurant, Perrenials, mentioned in the interview, has a website at this link. Ron and Sheila Harris should know that I could produce for them a much nicer website.

Call me! Or rather, have your son call me!

The Triumphant Return of "Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig (Ferguson)"

Here's the best monologue in late night, plain and simple.

Everyone else pales compared to Craig and it's not just the monologue, it's the whole show. Craig could have the checker at your local market and your plumber on the show and make it a great time.

The monologue is directly below, and you can click over to CBS.com to watch full episodes whenever you like, it's at this link.

LINK

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig -- Aquaman (Ferguson) Is Not Available, Can Tim Gunn Help You?

That's Tim Gunn filling in for Aquaman, who's "off with his so-called Super Friends."

That bitch!

The clip's after the jump. Chris (not Dave) does look good, it must be the scuba gear.

Craig's memoir is #4 on the NYT Best Sellers list this Sunday. "I know!"

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig -- First Musical Number in HD is "MmmBop-alicious"

Hey, who's the new girl? She's really pretty, and she can really move.

And Chris in pigtails? Just gives you something to hold onto when ...

... oops, that's for another blog, another time.

I must admit, I have always loved the song. Don't know the lyrics, can't sing along, but I love the song.

It's after the jumperoo, folks. I love the musical numbers. And, someone's -- actually two of someone -- has been working out.

Nice.

If you're not watching The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson all of your taste must be in your mouth.

It's the best show in late night.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig -- No Pithy Ferguson Headline. Why? Read On

Why no pithy Craig Ferguson headline from Joe today? Because there was just so much going on last night on Craig's show that the headline would have started here and ran through eight other blogs until it ended at the great blog Craig Ferguson's Guest List, the proprietor of which is the wonderful YouTube user Malinky2Stoatir, who clips out the show every day so that I can bring you these clips.

First there was Craig riffing on this not widely known news story about his boss Dave Letterman. You may have heard about it, maybe not, something having to do with crime and money and sex and schadenfreude you know how we Americans hate any combination of the four ... not!

Then, Michael Sheen, who stars in the new movie The Damned United, comes out on stage wearing the tightest pants that go with a suit I have ever seen in my life. Must be an Ozwald Boateng suit, I thought, or Sheen is fronting some UK punk band between movie gigs.

Tight pants? Who do you think you are, Sheen, the oldest Jonas Brother, Kevin?

(Sorry there's not a better image here, but watch the clip at this link and you'll see Sheen has to, ahem, adjust, just to sit down. Turns out Michael Sheen was a soccer player at one time and almost played for Arsenal. And he sports the tight pants much better than Kevin Jonas, anyway.)

Then, Viola Davis, who plays the Mayor of Philadelphia  in the new film Law Abiding Citizen, comes out in this tight, tight, tight dress that she just owns (not owns as in paid money for, although she might or it might have been borrowed from the designer) but that she wears like nobody's business. I love Viola Davis, have for years, and I've never seen her look so hot.

So hot! Viola, you are smokin'.

Where's the big film that makes Viola Davis a star, anyway? Meryl Streep wants it to happen, I want it to happen ... isn't that enough? Hey, movie execs, get to it!

Watch Viola talk to Craig at this link, if only for her throaty, sexy laugh, which I guess came with the dress.

However, I had to go with the cold opening with Craig's Letterman comments for the clip after the jump because ... well, because I know it's what I know you wanna see.

Maybe Craig will still have a show on CBS tonight, and if he does his guests will be Julia Louis-Dreyfus and The Avett Brothers.

And maybe Craig will try not to be so damned sexy. Because it can be dangerous in his job as late night host.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig: Project Runway Fan Ferguson & The Elegant Tim Gunn

It's his favorite TV show ... that's not on CBS, of course.

There is a little bit of me (not much because I know it takes so much work) that admires how elegant Tim Gunn is every time you see him.

If a tabloid wanted to get a great cover shot, though, I think it would be of Tim ambling out of his home somewhere in the 'burbs in his boxers to pick up the morning paper. That's a copy of the Star that I would buy. I'd frame the cover and hang it in my home just as a reminder that everyone has their bad days.

Craig, as you know (because you watch the show every night at 12:37 eastern on CBS) is a huge fan of the show. Me? Not so much. I just don't like these competition shows where the contestants snipe at each other.

If it was 42 minutes sans commercials of Tim teaching me about fabrics and why cutting on the bias is important I might very well add the show to my DVR queue.

Watch Craig kvell over Tim and the show in the clip after the jump.

And, in the comments, tell me who you'd like to see cast in Project Runway, The Musical. Craig's right, the show sells itself.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig Extra -- Medium's Patricia Arquette and An Education Star Dominic Cooper, And ...

Craig hosting the White House Correspondents' Dinner in 2008

... and I'm done with Craig's memoir, American on Purpose, which was the best literary experience of my year. Then again, I spend a lot of time (A LOT OF TIME) watching TV lately.

But, let me pull out what I think is my favorite excerpt from Craig's book, with all apologies to Harper Collins (and I believe this is fair use, and even if it isn't I've been promoting the hell outta the book so bite me if you've got a problem with this).

It comes from the top of page 231, right after Milo is born, and Craig writes ...

As I cut the umbilical cord, Milo started to cry and shiver. One of the nurses, a sour Russian woman who had bossed Sascha around a little too much for my liking, said, not unkindly, "Oh, baby, life is hard."

Shut up," I snapped. She looked at me with astonishment.

"He just got here. He doesn't need that shit yet," I told her.

She looked at me like I was insane, but I didn't five a toss. I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to a supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

I love that. Do you think Craig would adopt an aging TV blogger?

Buy American on Purpose at your local bookseller or click the icon below to get it from Amazon.

Clips after the jump. I'm always talking about how great the monologue is each night. Craig's also a great interviewer, and these two from Thursday's show are particularly entertaining.

And, Craig gave Cooper his first acting role, in the movie I'll Be There, which I know a lot more about now that I've read the book, like how much trouble it is to make a film for Morgan Creek.

Cooper stars with Peter Sarsgaard and our lovely Sally Sparrow (Doctor Who, Blink) Carey Mulligan in An Education, which premieres in NY and LA at the beginning of next month.

The movie's site at this link.

Go, watch the clips, enjoy!

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig: Ferguson on East Cleveland Mayor Eric Brewer

East Cleveland Mayor Eric Brewer (above and below right) became one late night comedian's favorite politico this week, and you can't blame Craig. Stuff like this is comic gold.

Cleveland Plain Dealer, today:

East Cleveland- Challenger Gary Norton beat incumbent, first-term mayor Eric Brewer by a nearly 2-1 margin in Tuesday's primary election.

(snip)

Brewer's re-election campaign was rocked less than a week before the election when photographs made public Sept. 23 purportedly showed him wearing women's lingerie, makeup and a wig. The effect of the scandal is unknown.

Brewer has neither confirmed nor denied that he is the man in the photographs. But he has accused Norton and the city's police officials of circulating the pictures.

Norton denies this.

What can't be denied? Eric Brewer should have never given his computer to someone to get fixed, not with these images on his hard drive.

What's up, politicians? What's the attraction to silky lacey undergarments, or tapping your toe in the Minneapolis Airport men's room (Larry Craig), or having your hooker dress you in diapers (David Vitter) or paying guys in a public park restroom to go down on them (Bob Allen)?

Paying a guy to go down on him? Really? Must not be very good at it, Bob, if you have to pay them. Get your damn teeth out of the way and maybe you'll save some $$$.

The best monologue in late night, after the jump.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig: Ferguson Powers Cloudy With ... to 2nd Week at #1

Yep, it was all Craig's doing. His son loved Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, he loved the movie, he brought the writers and directors of the movie on the show (former HIMYM writers Christopher Miller and Phil Lord) and it takes the top box office slot for the second week in a row, beating the Bruce Willis starring Surrogates.

That Craig, he's a powerful guy.

(Hey, what is it with all these TV shows and movies about us living our lives through digital avatars, anyway? I thought that all went south with the waning interest in Second Life.)

Craig's guests this week include Chris O'Donnell tonight fresh off a big win for the NCIS: LA premiere, and later in the week tune in for James Spader (again?) Colby Smulders from HIMYM, Patricia Arquette from new CBS acquisition Medium and (I'm sure Craig's really looking forward to this) Project Runway's Tim Gunn.

I'm about 75 pages into Craig's memoir, American on Purpose. It's really delightful. Laugh out loud funny, sweet, frank, instructive (I never knew how to sniff glue before reading it) ... I'm having a great time reading it.

No, I'm not huffing glue. I'm an adult. 

Andrew Ryan from the Toronto Globe and Mail spoke to Craig recently about the book and show, and here's the highlight, in my opinion:

Would you ever consider a move to the 10 p.m. timeslot, à la Leno?

No. I don't think people are ready for cussing shark puppets at 10 o'clock.

I dunno, I'm always ready for a cussing shark puppet. How about you?

Clip after the jump.