I Am A TV Junkie, A Blog For The Clicker Jockey

Gong Show Premieres Tonight at 10, Queefing Included

If you wanna know what that is, click here, but please, please don't click there if you're prudish or gross out easily or ... oh, it's at your own risk. Have at it, I guess.

Rockville Centre's own Dave Attell, (South Side HS, class of 1983) hosts, and tonight's celebrity judges include Andy Dick, recent arrestee!

Yeah, Andy Dick is not sober, AGAIN! Not surprised? Me neither:

Police said Dick, who was heavily intoxicated, grabbed and fondled the breast of a 17-year-old girl before pulling her top down in the parking lot of the Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar about 1:15 in the morning.

"The victim was traumatized by this," said Lt. Dennis Vrooman, spokesman for the Murrieta Police Department.

Yeah, Andy, weed and Xanax and liquor are a bitch of a combo, huh?

Clip's after the jump. It is something to see.

Sarah Silverman (who's no longer f**king Jimmy Kimmel) Ironically Nominated for F**king Matt Damon

Yes, this got an Emmy nod for best song, and it's up against two song from Flight on the Conchords, a song from a Disney Channel show (HA!) and Jordan Peele's "Fitty" song from Mad TV this season.

But none of them just broke up with the person who was the intended recipient of their nominated song, so they don't get posted and Sarah does.

Sadly, no nom for Sarah for her self-titled Comedy Central show. He got into the final round of voting, but then came of short.

LINK

The Bestest, Sickest, Deprave-iest (Huh?) Show Ever On DVD (and don't tell anyone but I already have mine)

That's right, I already have mine, and it doesn't release for a week. Don't tell.

It's TV Funhouse, lasted only a season on Comedy Central and for the most severely demented of us, it was manna from ... well, not quite heaven, let's shoot for purgatory and see what happens.

Yes, TV Funhouse also refers to the series of animated short from Bob Smigel et. al. that appear SNL occasionally but there's also a series by Smigel, Doug Dale, and Dino Stamatopoulos (Moral Orel, Mr. Show), was hosted by Dale and featured The Anipals, who are pictured with him above on the DVD box. The Anipals are what might happen if both you and your stuffed animals did a whole lot of Ecstacy and fell into a alternate but parallel universe.

In between their exploits (for example experimenting with a substance called Christmas Cheer, a dog named Xabu who has just a bit of OCD when it comes to his tail, a trip to Vegas to see Goulet -- yes, the late Robert Goulet -- with Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog) there are old-and-redubbed instructional films, strange sketches, all kinds of perverse, insane ... oh, you know, all that stuff I love.

Also involved in Tommy Blacha, co-creator of [adult swim]'s Metalocalypse (which is actually very funny but you need to click the subtitles on to really understand the jokes).

A show so memorable that I wrote this entire post before I even opened the package. Well, I had to check spelling on Xabu, but other than that it was all from my head.

Later in the week, I'll be giving away one or two copies (thank you Michelle at Wiredset), so bookmark the site and remember to check back. Or, just add my feed to whatever reader you're using.

These guys will be at Comic-Con on Thursday in support of this project as well, and I'll be at that panel.

Clippage? Sure, after the jump I got a great one. So twisted.

Watch the First Ten Minutes of Comedy Central's Reality Bites Back NOW!!!

I know what you're saying, they look like your average reality schlubs, right? Ay, thar's the rub.

"Ten comedians will vie for supremacy in weekly parodies of the most notorious reality shows around!  The challenges may be absurd, but the gameplay is real and each week one unlucky comic will find him or herself booted off the program by our gleefully sadistic host, Michael Ian Black.  The last one, er, “standing” will be crowned Lord of All Reality and receive a 50,000 dollar cash prize."

You can watch the first 10 in a clip after the jump.

In an amazing incidence of synergy (HA!) Michael Ian Black's first book, My Custom Van, also releases today, and he's reading from it tomorrow in NYC in Bryant Park.

Black's Typepad blog is at this link.

I'm Giving Away Two Copies of Reno: 911 Season Five on DVD, Right Now Folks!!!

And I gotta believe they put Niecy on the box cover in all her glory because she's moving on to primetime.

The fifth season DVD goes on sale TODAY, TODAY, TODAY!!!

Here's the deal, if you haven't won anything from me before and if you aren't someone I know or link to regularly, leave a comment below telling my exactly what prime time show Niecy is moving to in the Fall, and you're a winner.

(HINT: You're in front of your computer, it should take only moments for you to find this out.)

And you gotta leave your email address if you expect me to get back to you. Not to worry, I'm not collecting them for any reason at all. Have you ever gotten promo email from me? No. Will you now? No. I'm not organized enough for that.

And remember, this season includes this blog's favorite hot babe, Carrie Keegan, in her Emmy-eligible role as Frosty the Hooker.

And while you're doing all this, thank Michelle at Wiredset for setting this all up.

After the jump, Trudy goes undercover, with mixed results.

Okay My Buds, Time to Win the Comedy Central Home Grown DVD

UPDATE: Click here for my email.

Hey, I want a winner on this contest before 4:20, if you get me, so send me an email as quickly as you can, the first two emails with the words "Home Grown" in the title will win the new Comedy Central DVD package Home Grown:

The best of our most “experimental” shows are now available in this must-own collection that’s sure to bring all your buds together—and by buds, we mean friends. (Really.) Just don’t be surprised when you find yourself up at 3 a.m. eating raw cookie dough in your parents’ kitchen.

First two emails win it, with special thanks to Michelle at Wiredset for setting this up with me.

HURRY!!!

Giveaway! The Anipals AND Lewis Black AND Sarah Silverman AND The Reno Sheriffs In Your Home

Tomorrow, Comedy Central releases a DVD called Home Grown which includes ... well, here, read this:

"Comedy Central’s Home Grown: Uncensored" is a single disc featuring a collection of episodes and clips from a cornucopia of Comedy Central shows including: "Chappelle's Show," "Crank Yankers," "Drawn Together," "Lewis Black's Root of All Evil," "RENO 911!" "The Sarah Silverman Program," "Strangers with Candy," "Comedy Central’s TV Funhouse" and "Viva Variety."  It also includes acquired, alternative, paper-rolling programming such as “Spider on Drugs,” “The Animation Show,” and “The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross."

And tomorrow, the day it's released, I'm giving away two of them. So you gotta come back then, but in the meantime, you can also click beyond the jump and watch a clip from TV Funhouse.

This is the only way you can see any part of the severely demented TV Funhouse on DVD, so especially if you're as sick and twisted as me you should definitely find a way to get your hands on this disc.

As usual, none of my personal friends or anyone who I link to regularly are eligible. And one more thing, if you've ever won a prize here, you're out this time only.

(C'mon, you won the last two times, give someone else a chance!)

The Always Luscious Carrie Keegan from No Good TV Tonight on Reno 911

Reno returns tonight for the second part of its split sixth season with the lovely Carrie -- as a whore.

Certainly the hottest whore Reno has ever seen. I've been to Reno and seen the whores, trust me.

Watch, now I'll start getting nasty email from whores in Reno.

Anyhow, since I haven't in a very very long time (due to all these tech issues), I thought I'd post Carrie's NGTV.com interview with Lee Pace, who's in that Tarsem-directed movie, but you don't see enough Carrie in it, so I'm posting the Ashton - Ed Helms interview for the bad Vegas movie.

There's more Carrie, and isn't it all about Carrie? Of course it is.

Carrie plays a wet nursing whore tonight at 10:30 on Comedy Central as Reno 911 returns, a role she got because she interviewed Tom Lennon and Ben Garant and she was so funny they cast her.

Clip after the jump.

Message To Bill O'Reilly, a Fox Subsidiary Chooses Olbermann Over You

NBC News and MSNBC are the new streaming news partners for Myspace.

Basically, that means that on any given night, more people will see Olbermann thanks to Newscorp than will ever see Bill-O on Fox Noise.

Hey, Bill-O, you big giant tool. You're always rattlin' and prattlin' on and on about NBC News and MSNBC and how bad it is and how evil GE is and how they're always getting it wrong and you're always right and so self-righteously so with your history of sexual abuse in the workplace and your saying you're from working class Hicksville when you're really from Westbury with their giant homes and big lawns, and how you cut people's mics off just because you don't have the intellect or the stones to ...

(Catching my breath -- Sorry, gang, sometimes it just has to come out.)

Anyway, Myspace's new TV news partner doesn't come from in house, it comes from the land of Brian Williams, new Chief Foreign Correspondent Richard Engel (a promotion), Keith Olbermann, Dan Abrams and new recruit Rachel Maddow.

(That must really stick in your craw, huh, Bill?)

Oh, and Bill, I never bothered to congratulate you on your Peabody Award. Oh, that's right, that wasn't you, that was The Colbert Report. Sorry.

You always have that Polk Award to keep you warm at night, except for the fact that Inside Edition won that award after you left the show.

(Another breath.)

I feel better now. Thanks, everyone.

Video -- Daily Show's John Oliver, Tonight at 10 on Comedy Central

Watch him tonight. We'll talk about it tomorrow. Here, John talks about all those Republicans who stood up on a stage on national TV and pledged their support to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

LINK