I Am A TV Junkie

Will Ferrell at FunnyOrDie.com -- Bush, Bin Laden and a Taco Bar

Good morning. You're welcome. Now let me drink my coffee, it's only 7:35 am.

(Said as Mugatu from Zoolander: "That Will Ferrell, so hot right now.")

Watch It Before It's Gone -- "Hitler" on the Killing of Osama Bin Laden

This latest Hitler reacts video may actually stick around for a while. I only say that b/c the YouTube acct. it comes from is called FairUseHitler.

Video -- FridayOrDie.com: Oh No, It's ...

Her!!! Or as my sis says, "Rachael Ray sings!"

The most important piece of video you will ever watch, ever, ever, ever, ever ... after the jump.

And a bonus clip, the second most important piece of video that you will ever watch, ever, ever, ever, ever ... also after the jump.

Video -- Funny Or Die Oscar Talk with Leonard Maltin & ... Mike Tyson

Because he's a student of film and ... oh, screw it, just watch the thing.

Valentine's Day Video from Joe Jonas and Funny Or Die

Joe's in a pickle. It's Valentine's Day, he's doing a musical favor for a friend on what should be a special day for him and his girl ... but it, uh, devolves.

Watch it after the jump. While you're there, click on the MTV report clip after that, with him talking about new music is in the pipeline. Take that, Bieber, there's a Jonas out there who's not afraid of your (yes I'm gonna say it again) strange hair and current growth spurt.

(This will be the only mention of VDay on this blog. We're done now.)

Video -- Alex Borstein, "Black Ms. Swan"

I have nothing more to say. Hat tip to her friend Seth MacFarlane's Twitter account.

Hey, a new Family Guy this week, check out a preview by ... okay, apparently you'll have to travel through time to do that because there isn't one at Hulu or Fox or YouTube.

Video -- Superman's Dark Secret: An Unaired Episode of Super Friends

 
This is from Team Tiger Awesome and Cracked.com. One of the members of Team Tiger Awesome (and the voice of the narrator here) is Nick Mundy. I grew up with his mother and father, who were high school sweethearts.

(So take that those of you who think I was raised in a non-wholesome environment, I know high school sweethearts who got married. So they're also Russian spies ... )

This is very funny. See more from Team Tiger Awesome at this link.

Video -- Daniel Radcliffe's Revealing Sit-down with Judd Apatow?

I know. I was surprised, too, and that was just about Judd and the star of the Harry Potter movies being in the same room at the same time.

But there's more (as they say on TV commercials) ... someone's not figured out what's real and what's just a movie. No, not Apatow.

Click it, watch it.

Vote, Dammit! First Watch This Star-Studded (plus Criss Angel) FOD Clip

Yeah, Criss Angel. Well, it was good of him to show up. I guess.

And I'm assuming that Aziz Ansari was the final person to shoot, his comments are part of today's news cycle.

It IS a big TV star studded clip, though. Gillian and Don from Community, Kal Penn, Eriq LaSalle, Eric McCormack, Chris Gorham, Lake Bell, Alyssa Millano, Adam Scott, Rose McGowan ... oh just click the clip above and watch. They're all there and more.

So, as Modern Family co-exec producer Danny Zuker said the other day on Twitter: "Please vote! Unless you're a racist/homophobic/evolution denier. U should probably just go to the dentist."

He got his first hate tweets because of that, from tea party people. We were both surprised that they could read.

Video -- Michael Urie Hit by Car, Crazy Lady Attempts to Think His Injuries Away

From FunnyOrDie.com, where not a single pop psychological phenomenon goes by without being mocked.

But seriously, folks, you saw that E! reality series Pretty Wild. That woman raised her kids in accordance with the teachings in The Secret. One of her kids ended up involved in the notorious "bling ring" case, breaking into celeb homes and stealing their stuff.

Is that what you want? For your kids? For you? For Michael Urie?

Video -- FunnyOrDie.com Takes on Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Thank you, Reno 911's Thomas Lennon (you look hot in leather and a 70s pornstache, you could be in a Joe Gage movie lookin' like that) who brought along his pals Sarah Silverman, Dave Holmes, John Cho and Alex Fernie.

Parody and satire, the only problem with it is we're raising a generation that isn't smart enough to understand either.

Video -- Do You Engage in Sexual Intercourse? If So, This is Critical Viewing

Okay Christine O'Donnell, you can just click to the next post. Nothing here for you to see.

BTW, I don't believe for a moment that that woman is a virgin. She wants you to be if you're not married, btw. Oh, and don't diddle yourself, that would be wrong, lustful ... and I betcha she figures it makes you gay, too, since you're having sex with someone of the same sex.

But I digress.

Now, you won't be seeing Desperate Housewives' Kathryn Joosten and Mad Men's Rich Sommer having sex on this desk in the image above ... but I don't wanna spoil the clip for you so let's just say there might be other places for them to engage in the act on set.

A quick description ...

Every year, the U.S. Patents Office copyrights 57 new sex acts. Who gets those patents is decided by Mr. Stevens and Mrs. Davis - collectively known as The Committee. In each episode, a different hopeful pitches to the Department of Amatory Copyright in the hope that their imaginative new sex act will become this years' Rusty Trombone.

Two episodes, the first with Community's Alison Brie and the second featuring The Big Bang Theory's Simon Helberg, after the jump.

If you watch these at work with the volume way up ... well, if you do you're a moron. NSFW.

From FunnyOrDie.com, where your favorite TV actors go to say dirty words.

Video -- New From The CW and Bret Easton Ellis?

No, but it does have Bret Harrison (Reaper) and Amanda Crew and ... click it, it's from Funny Or Die.

Good morning.

Video -- Jewel, Sarah Palin, Todd, Crabs, Coffee, & Bob Marley

Watch this, click here. It's from FunnyOrDie.com.

No Good TV Video -- Will Ferrell Suggests You Remove Items From Your Ass (and get to the movies)

Actually, what he says to Carrie Keagan is, "Please, just get that dick outta your butt." I think he just wants to make sure it's not in there while you're driving to the theater to see The Other Guys, which opens Friday.

Watch Will and Mark and Eva Mendes (sex tape star) and Carrie by clicking here. More Carrie and Shark Firestone at No Good Television (NGTV.com) at this link.

Seriously, do not drive while engaging in anal sex. In fact, anal in a car probably isn't a good idea at all. Preferred: Rooms that are near hot running water, condoms, appropriate lubrication, towels, and maybe an instructional video for the newbies.

No link to the aforementioned instructional video. You're on your own there.

Video -- Eva Mendes Sex Tape? Yes!

Hey, I don't shoot the stuff, I just post it.

You know you wanna look, just click this link. My work is done here.

I'm sure you'll click it second, but here's the trailer for her new film The Other Guys (LINK).

Video -- Dinner For Schmucks Star Carell to Dinner For Schmucks Star Galifianakis: "You're Fat"

Carell, apparently ego-boosted through the roof after a recent Craig Ferguson appearance where Craig shamelessly flirted with him and complimented on his solid manly chest (clip) goes apeshit on poor Zach, bringing him to tears.

Poor Zach.

Carell, once again proving he's the biggest shithead in Hollywood.

Mel who?

Yeah, there's a movie involved, click for the Dinner for Schmucks trailer. I really wish they would have shot for an R instead of a PG-13, but whatev. It's the difference between my seeing it in the theatre vs. waiting for cable, though.

It's not just a content issue, either. If I can get to a R-rated matinee I will, if only to avoid your screaming, cell phoning, texting kids with their talking, seat kicking and general obnoxiousness.

Video via Funny or Die. 

You're not really taking me seriously, right? Okay.

I just love the key art for the poster. It's perfect.

Video -- While You Were Standing in Line at Comic-Con You Missed The Bigger Event

That's right, it was all about Pacey Witter in San Diego, didn't you know? What, were you too drunk to notice?

Recap the entire con with its host, Joshua Jackson by clicking here.

Watch the Dawson's Creek pilot, which for some reason is posted at MySpace with embed codes, by clicking this link.

Funny Or Die Video -- Emma Stone Shows You a New KILLER iPhone App

Watch it by clicking this. No, not this, this is the GQ.com profile of Emma with very hot AND FUNNY pics.

This (LINK) is what you wanna click.

Not this link, that's the link to watch the trailer for Easy A, Emma's new film co-starring the now retired Amanda Bynes and Lisa Kudrow.

And not this link, either, which will open a clip of Emma with my pal Carrie Keagan from No Good Television.

Just so we have that straight. Okay, then.

Video -- Tom Lennon, Ben Garant Review the Reno 911 XXX Parody

Do not watch this at work, or don't watch it with the sound on, anyway. And make sure your body blocks others from seeing the screen.

So, why did I post this, you ask? Because it's just the greatest thing ever, that's all.

Click here for it.

BTW, these two guys (who write together) have three films in development currently in development including How to Survive a Robot Uprising based on this book (LINK).

And, watch the official trailer for that Reno 911 XXX parody by clicking this.

(But not at work, okay? Okay).

FX's Louie Tonight at 10 11 Eastern (oops!) -- Excerpts from Louis C.K.'s Brain

Okay, I don't have actual biopsies of Louis C.K.'s gray matter (think of the eBay potential) but I have stuff that evidently started in his brain and traveled south, to the mouth, and then out of it during a recent conference call with reporters and bloggers.

And here's some of that (links and clips dropped in where I think appropriate).

About writing all the episodes himself:

Writers’ rooms, they kind of gravitate towards a certain place.  There’s a need to perfect things in a writers’ room, and that can take a lot of fun out of a show sometimes.  It’s a struggle.  It depends on your personality.  Some people love working with a writing staff.  I had a great writing staff on Lucky Louie , but it sometimes felt like Congress or something.  It’s like if you’re the president and you have the ability to just fire Congress, life would get kind of fun all of a sudden.

I remember when I got the green light to do this show, and my daughter was asking me about it.  She was about seven at the time, and asked me, I don’t know why, she said, “Are you going to have writers on the show or are you going to write it all yourself?”  And I said, “I think I might write them all myself.”  And she said, “I think that would be easier because you don’t have to explain to all those people what you want to do.  You can just do it.”  And she was right.  Seven years old, she was very savvy about production.

So it does really make it easier.  And again, like I said before, I can write stuff incomplete and start working on it.  I don’t have to prove it to anybody.  I like doing it that way.  The writing process for me is different according to what I’m writing.  With this show, I usually start with a moment or a scene or a feeling that’s funny to me, like these two people having a conversation.  I want to see that.  So I’ll write out that conversation that I want to see, or that moment, and sometimes it will just sort of lead into a story.  Sometimes I’ll get interested in the voices I’m writing for and wonder what happens to them and then go find out, or the situation I’m writing about.  Other times I have the conversation on paper and it stops being interesting, so I go, “That’s it.  That’s done.”  So we shoot that as a one off instead of a whole episode, or just one segment instead of a more chronological story. 

About the content and language limits of a basic cable venture:

It’s kind of fun to play inside of limits sometimes.  I feel like there’s nothing I can’t say on stage except for the certain words that they don’t like to hear, because they don’t have an FCC thing, it’s just Standards and Practices, which is them thinking about their advertisers and what they want to present as their standards.  You can’t say …, you can’t say …, you can’t say retarded, although since I said that on the Jon Stewart show they came back and said, “Well, not necessarily you can’t.”  So I don’t know where the line is with that one.  

There’s a few buzz words.  And then there’s sort of a general note about if you’re going to describe sexual moments, she calls it tonnage.  That’s the word, there’s tonnage.  Like when I did the thing with Bobby Cannavale before we went on the air of him describing the gay porn that I would have to make to make money, I showed that to her and I said, “What, of this, would you have approved?” just as an exercise.  And she said, “There’s nothing in there that, on its own, couldn’t have gone through, but it’s a tonnage thing.  I wouldn’t have let you do this whole scene.”  She said, “The only thing I might not be okay with is two guys … in your mouth and laughing.”  And I said, “Really?  … in the mouth, that’s out?”  And she said, “Well, it depends on the context.”  I said, “What if I said something about … in Hitler’s mouth?”  She said, “Maybe.  We haven’t had anybody on this network say … in the mouth, but maybe you’ll find that.”  So there’s a feeling like I could get to whatever I want; and obviously, I don’t have some hell-bent need to say awful things on FX, but I like to know where my limits are.  

They have surprised me with what they’ve let through.  Sure.  There’s been a few things where I’ve been like, when Ricky Gervais said your (cock) looks like a dog was sucking it off, and then he started chewing it because he thought it was a bloody tongue filled shoe, as I was standing there watching him say that I thought, “That’s never going to be on television.”  It’s on television.  So who knew?  I didn’t even get a peep from them from that. 

More after the jump.

Video -- About that 'Stache, What I Think Michael Jordan is Thinking and Hitler's Response

This is my best guess about what's going on in Michael Jordan's mind ...

I've done it all. No one can touch me. The records are safe. I have more money than I'll ever need or want. All these years later and my jersey still sells like crazy ... both numbers even! I still have the endorsements, I can have any woman in the world that I want. Other athletes are harmed by their excesses but mine go by without a second glance. I could do anything and not spoil this life. I could ... why, I could even bring back the Hitler moustache and get away with it. It'll look completely different on me. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna give people a reason to hate my guts ... and still I'll get over. If I can do this there's nothing I can't do.

And there you have it. Just my opinion, but can you come up with any other explanation?

Watch the entire commercial by clicking here. 

And, see what Adolf has to say about the entire business by clicking this. But watch this second clip in a hurry, it'll be taken down before you can say Third Reich.

Video -- The BP Oil Spill Re-enacted by Cats in (Just Over) One Minute

Yes, Lindsay Lohan was actually part of the failed junk shot.

Fitting?

A great clip from Tremendous News that could have only been better with the addition of Matt Berry.

Video -- While BP Fouls the Earth, Watch This UCB Clip From Their "Spokesperson"

Just part of your daily infusion of BP-related comedic parody, because if you don't laugh you might end up crying.

Also, remember to keep following @BPGlobalPR (but not really them) at this link at Twitter.

Check it out from the Upright Citizens Brigade website, just click this link.

Three Reasons Why You Should Love and Adore @SteveAgee from The Sarah Silverman Program

1) His character on the show was as close as any gay man will come to resembling me on television ... slightly overweight, geeky, wasted.

2) This tweet from today (click here). I wonder which one? The left one? Right one? People need to know!

3) A post from December 2008 I wrote about The IT Crowd's Matt Berry coming all the way to America to be on Sarah's show and what he got when he got here. Click here for that.

Watch! -- Megan Fox, Brian Austin Green, School Budgets, Van Halen?, FunnyOrDie.com

A clip called Hot for Teachers (get the Van Halen reference?). Click here, it'll pop up right here on the page.

In association with SayNoToCuts.com, which is a site that the Rethuglican gubernatorial candidates Meg Whitman and Steve Poizner should look at as well as the target of the site, our action-movie actor governor.

Yeah, I have to remind you that the people of my state voted for an action-movie actor for governor, based almost entirely on his IMDB page and not a resume that showed he could do the job.

Hey Poizner and Whitman, I've seen your ads claiming that liberal failure is to blame for the state's problems. Exactly how do you figure that? Which liberals and what failure are you talking about, because the way I see it we'd be in much better shape if the people of California realized that you don't get services for free and Prop 13 has held the state way back, especially in terms of how we deliver education to the state's kids.

FunnyorDie.com Video -- Who's the Old Lady in the Bathtub? It's #HeidiMontag!

I get the joke, Heidi making a pitch for gov't regulation of credit cards (after she bought those 10 procedures on her plastic). But, Speidi has always supported Rethuglican causes in the past, and this is hardly a Rethuglican cause.

In fact the vast majority of those on the right object to any regulation of the banking or credit industries. Why? Because that's where their campaign money comes from.

Yes, also people on the left, but mostly the right.

Watch the clip here. Click over to the site set up by the proponents of the Consumer Financial Protection Act at this link.

Finally, the number in the image above is for you to call Richard Shelby and Chris Dodd, two senators key in this bill's passage, and also in the tub above. Call them.

Now.

And I'm sorry I made you look at the horrifying plastic surgery victim. I owe you one.

Video -- Pee-wee Herman Gets An iPad!

Some clips need nothing from me, like this one.

Oh No! Hitler Is Pissed About These Late-Night Talk Show Shenanigans

Uncensored Aziz Ansari Clip From His Comedy Central Special This Sunday

Sunday's a very busy TV day. Lots to see and not enough eyes in your head to actually see it all. The Golden Globes airing live in the West should help but there's still a lot of stuff you just won't be able to get to so I have a suggestion.

Instead of watching Parks & Recreation star Aziz Ansari's stand up special on Comedy Central, buy the DVD. 

Can't buy the DVD? Watch it later on Sunday, it'll probably run again at midnight as usual.

Can't do that? There's always iTunes. (LINK)

And now I'm fresh out of ideas. You're on your own. But I do have a clip, like I said, and you can watch it by clicking here.

Jersey Shore's The Situation: "Every Time I Lift My Shirt, A Piece of Me Dies"

Oh, just watch the thing, if only for Pauly D's British accent.

Funny or Die Video -- Alyssa Milano, From Zero to Jersey in 75 Seconds

I have nothing to say except to tell you to watch this.

Jersey Shore "Bobby Bottleservice" Audition Tape Surfaces -- Not Suitable for Work

Bobby Bottleservice - Jersey Shore Audition Tape - watch more funny videos

Video -- Rachel Bilson? Stunning. McG? Frickin' Filmmaking Genius!

A rare behind the scenes look at the making of a film. Very rare.

I suggest every actress in Hollywood should try to do a film with McG; the way he works with women when there's sensitive content is just so refreshing and caring and kind.

Watch McG, Bilson and co-star Adam Scott (Starz's Party Down) this very poignant scene from the new film Hearts of Palm.

Upcoming in theatres for Rachel, btw, is the big Valentine's Day release New York, I Love You with a star-studded cast including Natalie Portman, Shia LaBeouf, Bradley Cooper, Blake Lively, Justin Bartha, James Caan, Andy Garcia ... well, I can't even list them all, you should click over to the IMDB page for the rest.

Eva Amuri, Cloris Leachman, Orlando Bloom, Drea de Matteo (sorry, I couldn't resist).

It''s after the jump.

My Pals The Fine Bros. Have Something to Say -- But Watch it Fast, It Self-Destructs

Yes, it self-destructs, just like the tape at the beginning of Mission: Impossible ... or Sarah Palin.

I love these guys, you will too. You've seen their stuff here before, this clip is actually them. More on them at their Facebook page or their site.

They have a lot of energy, they make me feel old. Oh, wait, I AM old. Well, older than them, anyway.

LINK

Report -- Car Crash Victim Unfortunately Not Glenn Beck

From The Onion, natch.

Mother of the victim: "There's no harder thing than having Glenn Beck outlive your child."

Question of the Day: Does Beck's audience know he's a Mormon? Because my impression is that the Fox Noise audience was key in quashing Mitt's Presidential bid in 08.

Talk amongst yourselves, clip after the jump.

Tears courtesy Vicks Vapo-Rub. Details at this link.

Video -- SNL: People Do Love 'Em

You know ... weiners. I mean, have you seen this thing called the Internet?

It's full of 'em. And as long as I don't run across Larry King's weiner I'll continue to be interested in them, too.

LINK

FunnyOrDie.com Video -- October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, So ...

... I guess all you straight guys can use that "I'm here at your front door to administer a breast exam" scheme of which you are so fond.

Seriously, someone got arrested for that last year. I know! Click this link for details on that.

Join Alyson Hannigan, Emily Deschanel (see image above, hehehe), Kat McPhee, Minka Kelly and Jaime King in this great clip from Funny Or Die which really raises (or lowers, depending on your point of view) the bar on breast cancer awareness video.

In my opinion it seriously raises the bar. It's after the jump.

And, while you're at it, take out your credit card and click over to the Stand Up To Cancer website and show the love, gang. Show the love.

Or the Komen Foundation, your call.

When is Testicular Cancer Awareness Month anyway? Anyone? Buehler?

FOD, I expect a clip for that, too. Can you get Clooney for that shoot?

Funny or Die Video -- The Real Victims: Health Insurance Executives

Will Ferrell, Jon Hamm, Olivia Wilde, Thomas Lennon, Robert Ben Garant, Masi Oka, Jordana Spiro, Linda Cardellini and Donald Faison didn't take a damn nickel for being in this very very important message.

Great news for all the people profiled on this page at SickForProfit.com, including Stephen J. Hemsley, Edward Hanway, Michael McCallister, Ronald A. Williams, Allen Wise and Angela Braly. You really need to click over there and see exactly what kind of money these people are making.

If they don't keep making money, who's gonna be able to buy all the pink unicorns for their kids? You don't think pink unicorns exist? You don't know people who make this kind of money.

After the jump. Unfortunately, I don't think a lot of people who have been whipped up by the fringe media are smart enough to understand parody. 

Funny or Die Video -- Mandy Moore's Vagina: Now Fresher and ... Faster?

"It's gives your vagina wings." So it will match your maxipad, I guess.

LINK

2 Clips -- Patton Oswalt on Caprica as Talk Host? Why Not on Earth as Talk Host?

Because that's a show I'd like to see, a Patton Oswalt talk/sketch show with a somewhat current events focus nightly. Just a half hour, maybe on Spike TV (though looking at their schedule I don't know if they could rise to middle-brow) or maybe even an hour on a Friday night on Comedy Central in the Stewart/Colbert slot.

Instead, Oswalt has to go all the way to Caprica (so far away it's a fictional planet in the past or future, based of your interpretation of the BSG finale) to get a show of his own.

And that's quite the commute of time, space and imagination.

THR reported yesterday that Oswalt will play Baxter Sarno, a comedian with a talk show on which the Graystone parents (Eric Stoltz, Paula Malcolmson) eventually appear.

The Oswalt project coming much sooner is a theatrical film called Big Fan, which tells the story of a fervent NY Giants football fan (Patton) that through a series of circumstances gets the crap beat out of him by his favorite player.

No, it's not a comedy. It opens August 28th, I believe in limited release.

He has the chops for this, we know that because of what we have seen from time to time from him in other projects. My mind goes immediately to his guest spot on Dollhouse this past season as a very wealthy computer company founder.

Rolling Stone's Peter Travers saw the movie at this years' Sundance Festival and said:

Comedian Patton Oswalt stars as Paul Aufiero, a thirtyish parking attendant who still lives with mom in Staten Island, and spends his time obsessing over his favorite football team, the New York Giants. Talk radio is Paul's outlet for his sports fanaticism. In Hollywood hands, Paul could have been a target for comic ridicule. But the gifted Wrestler screenwriter Robert Siegel, in a directing debut of potent promise, turns Big Fan into something funny, touching and vital without ever resorting to snark or condescension. And Oswalt delivers a portrait in full of a life in which fandom is one man's personal defense against loneliness. This one's a keeper.

I have the trailer and details on and clips from Patton's Comedy Central special this Sunday, his second for the cable channel, after the jump.

Video -- My Facebook "Friend" John Fugelsang on Homophobia

Great clip from a NYC appearance at the Gotham right after the California Prop 8 mess. Smart, funny stuff from my fellow native Long Islander and once again New Yorker, now that his TV Guide Channel gig is over.

He takes some great photographs, too. Like the one above, which I stole from his Facebook page.

Check more of him out at his MySpace page (because strangely Myspace still exists, though it's certainly not the hub of activity it used to be) and visit him at Facebook.

And read 15 interesting things about him at the Gotham Comedy Club site at this link.

Friend in quotes because some of your Facebook "friends" aren't actually your friends. You do know that, right? I mean, you're not gonna knock on Jon Hamm's front door because he's your Facebook friend are you?

Well, I would suggest you don't.

Clip after the jump.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig (Ferguson): "The J.K. Rowling Show"

With special guest Stephenie Meyer, the author of the Twilight books. Watch them get into it.

And thanks for playing our game, Jeffrey Tambor. That wig is your parting gift. Well, it was that or your foundation garments, I think you got a good deal here.

LINK

She Was the First Person to Pay Me to Write, So Watch Her Show Tonight on TV Land

It's true, Joan Rivers was the first person who ever paid me to write anything. So, the least you could do is watch the premiere of her show tonight on TV Land called How'd You Get So Rich at 10pm eastern/pacific.

(The most you can do for me, btw, is enroll me in the Chocolate Cake of the Month Club. First you have to establish the club, as there are chocolate of the month clubs and there are cake of the month clubs but no combination. That's a great idea, actually, do you think it could make me, uh ... rich?)

Show website at this link. Above, Joan and her drag doppelgangers. Hi girls!

About Joan, I was 19 and working one summer in a movie theatre where I hoodwinked the owner into hiring my friend Jim Renehan also, so that while the movie was playing we could sit in the lobby and work on sitcom ideas. Which we did, but to no avail. When I saw that Joan was playing at Westbury Music Fair I asked Jim if maybe he wanted to take a stab at writing some stuff for her, and we did.

Sent roses the first night she appeared along with a binder that had a monologue written for her. She called that afternoon and asked us to meet her backstage after, which we did. Joan and Edgar were there when we got to the hallway outside the dressing room they were standing there. She was very complimentary and the one thing that I'll always remember her saying is, "Comedy is the toughest art for of them all."

We started sending her jokes that year and she'd pick what she liked and send a small stipend for each, with contracts and all that, very professional and all and it made us feel very adult and proud and ... when I write something -- anything, really -- I always remember the first woman who ever recognized I had some talent and nurtured it, even from afar.

We haven't met since, I stopped writing for her when Jim and I ended up on different coasts, but I think of those times often and fondly.

So, watch her show!

"Accompany Joan Rivers as she takes viewers on a journey to meet millionaires who worked hard and struck gold as she tours their lavish and extravagant homes around the country.  From the inventor of the BillyBob Teeth who grew up dirt poor to the pioneer of the Infomercial who peddles goodies like Obama coins and 'Mr. Mardi Gras' who still lives in the same house as when he came into his riches to a Telecommunications tycoon who built an empire by starting out going door to door selling cordless phones…. all of these millionaires made their money in the most unexpected and interesting ways."

After the jump (and the Allstate pre-roll ad, sorry), watch Harry Smith talk to Joan about the show and about next weekend's Comedy Central Roast (hosted by Kathy Griffin) to which, though I asked the universe, I didn't get an invite.

Video -- Would You Buy a Used Toyota From Kathryn Hahn?

Yeah you would. Ian Roberts (UCB, Reno 911)  does in the clip below with a little bit of, uh ... prodding.

A clip that is certainly not suitable for work or the kids from the upcoming motion picture The Goods, starring some guy who had a problem with mercury poisoning. I hear good things about it.

You straight guys and this thing you have for girl-on-girl? It'll make you do anything, won't it. What's the strangest thing you've ever done in pursuit of a two woman three-way? Leave an anonymous comment below?

Clip after the jump. The movie opens on August 14. This was the first and best clip I could find without Piven, but if you like the Piven click here for more.

LINK

Video -- Tiffani Thiessen "Too Busy" for Jimmy Fallon Saved by the Bell Reunion

She apparently has a number of things on her plate and needed to make a public statement to avoid the slings and arrows of her castmates and fans. The Funny Or Die team was happy to accomodate her.

LINK

Video -- Jimmy Fallon Sells Obama's Healthcare Plan and His Monster Biceps(?)

Pretty funny, and per my research, particularly this link at Guardian UK (I like fact checking with foreign media, everyone here has too big an iron in our governmental fire), his figures check out.

Before you click over the jumperoo and watch the clip, though, which co-stars Carol Alt (see above) I need you to pay close attention to the cardboard cutout of Fallon in the clip, screengrabs of which I have below.

First, compare Jimmy to the cardboard Fallon behind him. Especially the bicep. And the shoulders. And the neck.

Oh, and the not-laughing during a sketch, but it is only cardboard, it has no sense of self.

Need to see more? I need to know who Fallon's body double is.

If you know, send me an email at the address below.

Your anonymity will be respected.

Clip after the jump.

From Friend of the Blog and Torchwood Uber-Fan Stacy Walker

Genius! Brilliant! Thank you Stacy.

Video -- Vegans Silverstone and Morrissette Caught EATING FISH!!!

Okay, so they're Pepperidge Farms Goldfish. I got you to click over.

Watch the trailer for their new roadtrip chick flick with a monster soundtrack in the clip after the jump.

Okay, so it's not really a movie, it's a Funny or Die clip. At least no animals were harmed in the making of the trailer for My Mother's Red Hat. However, the street cred of a number of indie bands might have been. Go, look, see for yourself.

Funny or Die Video from Tony Romo -- New Endorsements: Dame Judi Dench, Panty and Brake Liners

But no endorsements for a blonde ex-pop singer. Hmm, he must have decided to return the product.

LINK