I Am A TV Junkie

TV Networks, Please Don't Let Jeff Gaspin's Toilet Problem Sour You On SUNY Grads

I was the first guy out here who cheered when NBC hired a SUNY Binghamton grad to run the show after the departure of rich boy and Elisabeth Murdoch yachting pal Ben Silverman .

State University of New York grad, middle class guy from Queens, regular ol' Jeff, your go-to guy when it comes to finding a no ego guy to roll up his sleeves and ... order up a private toilet worth $200,000? What? The? Fuck?

Sharon Waxman at TheWrap.com:

When Gaspin was promoted to run NBC in July 2009, he decided he didn’t want to share a bathroom with the other executives on the 11^th floor of the Wasserman building, according to a knowledgeable insider.

So he ordered the construction of an opulent privy in his own office. How big was it? He displaced two finance executives to make room. I’m told the shower alone is large enough to house a small family. How expensive? I spoke to someone who saw the numbers – more than $200,000.

Gaspin was rather paranoid about this expenditure – understandably so, since he demanded it even as some 40 people were being laid off. He instructed workers to do construction at night, so as not to draw attention to the ostentatious addition. 

But Steve Burke got wind of it and took note. Comcast is a notoriously homespun megacorporation; Brian Roberts used to share hotel rooms with his father on business trips. At the recent CES conference in Las Vegas Roberts was spotted standing in the taxi line even as town cars and limos with NBC logos went cruising by.

That wasn’t the decisive factor, but it was the beginning of Burke’s disaffection with Gaspin.

Yeah, I'd fire him too.

Oh Jeff, so frickin' shortsighted of you. That's not what we learn at SUNY, Mr. Gaspin. We learn to get by with what we have. We share bathrooms with the finance guys, we don't worry about fart noises and having to fraternize with our employees.

We are people who wanted Syracuse University but couldn't afford it, we are Princeton-level students on a community college budget that we're trying to stretch. We don't spend foolishly.

And now you've ruined our rep. With everyone, what with the big high profile job. Shame on you.

Media companies, listen up. Hire a SUNY grad. Today, even. Just pluck a resume out of your backlog of them and give that person a job. They've earned it.

And forget about Gaspin, he was an outlier.

Go SUNY.

Rep. Markey on NBC/Comcast Merger: ""Will This Combination of Communications Colossi Curtail Competition and Cost Consumers?

Uh oh! Oppostition from Democrats in the House of Representatives to the Comcast takeover of NBC-Uni might put a serious harsh on all the merger buzz.

Harshing NBC's buzz? Oh, they've been high the whole time? That explains the Conan/Leno thing!

Seriously, though, Ed Markey from Massachusetts is just one of a group of Dems in the House that are questioning whether this merger serves the public interest.

What better serves the public interest? Making Jeff Zucker be in charge of only the two-scoop cones at Cold Stone Creamery.

And not NBC. And if I were a House member that's what I'd be pushing right now. Merger can go through as long a Zucker is banned from working in the entertainment industry for life.

Hell, with all that stimulus money out there there has to be an infrastructure project Jeff can get his hands dirty doing ... how about some bridge abutment rebuilding in Dedham, Mass., I betcha Markey could pull and string or two and get him a gig.

Markey, at his website:

While the companies have determined that this merger advances their business interests, it is essential that the public interest is served.  As the author of the Internet Freedom Preservation Act to ensure network neutrality along with Energy and Commerce Chairman Henry Waxman and Congresswoman Anna Eshoo, I want to ensure that the combination of a major network operator and a large content owner does not open the door to discrimination on the Internet to the detriment of users. I look forward to working with my colleagues and the Administration on this important matter as the process moves forward.

More as it happens. Hearings were held today, and there are plenty of witness statements from the powers that be should you care to read them. Click here for those links.

More from me after I read everything, or at least as much as I can without being bored to tears or laughing too hard.

Conan Deal Struck: He's Paid $30 Million To Walk Away

TheWrap.com has all the details, but the big number is $30 million.

It would be nice if that money came right out of Jeff Zucker's bank account.

This is one of the most colossal failures in modern corporate history. Hell it's a bigger failure than New Coke.

Somewhere those Comcast people gotta be wondering what they got themselves into.

His last show may be a week from tonight, that's yet to be confirmed.

What a Dick (Ebersol)! He Calls Conan "Chicken-Hearted and Gutless"

You know who Dick Ebersol is, he's the guy who ruined Saturday Night Live in the early eighties, he's married to Susan St. James and he carries water for NBC.

He's Chairman of NBC Universal Sports and Olympics and a friend and underling of Zucker's. And, as I said, a lifer and a corporate water carrier. And he's pictured here to the right.

So, what's his beef? Let's go to the NY Times article and find out (hat tip to Adalian at TheWrap.com):

Referring to the pointed jokes made this week by Mr. O’Brien and David Letterman of CBS, Mr. Ebersol said it was “chicken-hearted and gutless to blame a guy you couldn’t beat in the ratings.”

He added that “what this is really all about is an astounding failure by Conan.” Mr. Ebersol is a veteran at the network, with a longstanding relationship with NBC Universal’s embattled chief executive, Jeff Zucker. Mr. Ebersol also has a deep link to the network’s late-night history, having been a creator of “Saturday Night Live,” and he has been frequently consulted on changes in NBC’s late-night lineup.

What a load of shit! And, it's not something I feel one should say when one represents a network that goes about having their talent sign contracts that end up meaning nothing. NOTHING!

That is gutless and chicken-hearted. When a corporation makes a decision they should stand by it. NBC is not standing by Conan and not standing by the letter or spirit of the legal contract they signed with him.

This is all posturing and the edge on it is based on the fact that the Zucker camp knows this is the biggest FAIL of his entire tenure. I wouldn't be surprised if Jeff send Ebersol out to the press himself with a mandate to beat up Conan.

I also think they're trying to push back on the animosity being created against Leno in the public sphere. This is NOT the way to do it.

Where is Comcast's Brian Roberts through this whole affair? Is it not far enough along into the Comcast deal for Roberts to be getting involved? Do they not really care at all about the broadcast division as the pundits pointed out when the deal was announced?

Note to Comcast: No matter where the profit centers are at NBC-Uni, NBC itself will always be the leader in the eyes of the media and the viewers. You need to take care of your broadcast division.

Rosie O'Donnell is right. Yesterday, during the TCA session for HBO (she's promoting a new special on the network) she told the press (E! Online):

"I have been a big fan of Conan O'Brien," she said. "The Tonight Show is a franchise that has been 60 years with NBC, and if you're privileged enough to be asked to drive the bus, you should say, 'Thank you,' and drive it to the best of your ability, and when it's time for them to hire a new driver, you should say, 'Thank you for allowing me to drive this for as long as I did,' and pass the keys to the new guy with red hair, and not try to flatten his tires before he even gets going."

As for Leno, there's no love lost there. She thinks he should do the right thing and step aside to allow O'Brien both the time and space to shine.

"I think he's a fantastic talent and 17 years he gave to that network and they really did a disservice to him," she said of Conan. "I think shame on Jeff Zucker and really, shame on Jay Leno.

"I think he's forgotten his roots and what stand-up comedy is about, and graciousness has never been his No. 1 quality," she said, referring, no doubt, to his rejection of NBC's mid-'90s idea to have O'Donnell serve as the Joan Rivers to his Johnny Carson and fill in as the Friday night guest host of the Tonight Show.

"I think it would serve him well to think about what might happen if he were able to let go and grab on to whatever the next rung is."

See, that's the point. NBC can say all they want about Conan's alleged ratings failure.  I say "alleged" because one will never really know how Jay's Tonight Show would have rated during the past seven months.

There's much more competition for one, and then you must consider the overall downfall of the network which has led to lower numbers across the board.

And whose fault is that? One can only look to Zucker and the big mistake of hiring Ben Silverman to take a job for which he was supremely not qualified.

Knight Rider. Kath & Kim. My Own Worst Enemy. Crusoe. Kings. And so, so many more.

NBC's Jeff Zucker -- Only Nine Months to Prove His Worth to Comcast?

Well, I think he should get pregnant and have the Dr. prescribe total bedrest right away, because he's bound to do something awful in that time that will highlight his talent for failing upwards.

I wouldn't even give him nine months ... in fact I'd buy him tickets for a cruise and empty out his office while he was gone, stack all his stuff on his front lawn and call it a day.

Bloomberg:

Jeffrey Zucker, NBC Universal’s chief executive officer, may have as few as nine months to prove himself to his new bosses at Comcast Corp. while the biggest U.S. cable operator seeks regulatory approvals.

Zucker, 44, will continue to run NBC Universal during a regulatory review period, executives of the Philadelphia-based company said yesterday on a conference call. The process to acquire control of the General Electric Co. unit may take nine to 12 months.

I'm just waiting for him to bring back American Gladiators and Fear Factor and put 'em back to back before Leno on Wednesday night against the Idol results show, and then claim that its cost effective.

But, who's gonna buy DVDs of those three shows? How are they gonna sell them overseas? How will they promote the rest of the schedule to dwindling audiences? And what about corporate mojo? In an industry that now more than ever looks at numbers and rankings, being fourth, even if it's profitable, doesn't get you diddly squat.

This is the problem with the whole cost efficiency argument, it doesn't play well down the line.

He can always opt for the law school that he deferred admission on back in the day, that would benefit the TV industry immeasurably.

I miss Brandon Tartikoff. He loved TV, he nurtured shows, he was good for the business.

NBC/Comcast Deal Done ... Counting the Days Till Jeff Zucker Gets Fired

UPDATE: When I say done, I mean the deal, not the approval. There still needs to be a few layers of regulatory approval before it's, you know, really done (as in the opposite of rare, which is how I like my steak).

Well c'mon, they already got rid of Bachelor Ben and someone's head is going to roll.

I just hope they don't install Ted Harbert in that position ... if they do Chelsea Handler will be hosting the nightly news, Sunday Night Football, The Biggest Loser, she'll be the dean on Community, the star of another remake of Knight Rider (renamed Night Rider for obvious reasons) and the new official symbol with be a bottle of Grey Goose.

Zucker. Zucker! ZUCKER!!! Look what you hath wrought!

Go to TheWrap.com, and particularly to Joe Adalian's TV Mo Joe blog for details and analysis and Joe's five point plan to begin to turn things around at the network of chimes that teach music theory students intervals (hey, it worked for me).

Those five points from Joe include moving Jay Leno to 8 pm, the aforementioned Zucker point and "spending like a druken sailor." Expect the NBC peacock to get a tattoo that reads "Back From The Dead."

The full press release, for you wonks, is at this link.

The new entity will be called the Comcast Entertainment Group and will include, besides all the NBC properties the E! and Style cable network, regional sports channels they have across the country, Versus (known almost exclusively for their NHL deal and bicycle races) and The Golf Channel, known primarily for showing you men in madras pants walking along on the grass and hitting a little tiny ball with a stick.

(With the Tiger Woods revelations this week, I betcha The Golf Channel is worth less today than it was before "the incident" and its fallout. Ouch -- on two levels.)

Unexpected surprise of all this for me is that it positions Comcast to take a run at the Disney/ABC owned ESPN, what with the regional sportsters, their two other sports cablers, the power of NBC Sports and the ramping up of the Universal Sports brand. That's something to look at in the future.

And bagging Bravo, USA and Syfy (they are responsible for about 50 percent of all cable TV viewing) is a coup.

Of course, any media consolidation, in my book, is bad for the viewers. Less choice means fewer points of view. And there's always the danger of Rachel Maddow at MSNBC (yes, that's part of the deal as well) having to take on a drunk, blonde slut as a co-host.

And Chuy, too? Yes, boys and girls, Chuy too. But that would probably make Zucker happy, he'd no longer be the shortest guy in the company.

More details as shakeout, the eventual merging and eventual firing occur.

Report: Comcast in Talks to Buy NBC-Universal

It's late, I'm tired, so I'm sending you over to read Sharon Waxman's report at TheWrap.com, which is also home to our friend and TV-MoJoe blogger Joseph Adalian, who I'm sure will be following this story like a paparazzi follows Britney.

Apparently GE is tired of the network weighing down their balance sheet. Shoulda thought about that when you made a show marketer your programming chief. Stupid move, that was.

I'll keep you in the loop.