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The Triumphant Return of "Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig (Ferguson)"

Here's the best monologue in late night, plain and simple.

Everyone else pales compared to Craig and it's not just the monologue, it's the whole show. Craig could have the checker at your local market and your plumber on the show and make it a great time.

The monologue is directly below, and you can click over to CBS.com to watch full episodes whenever you like, it's at this link.

LINK

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig -- Aquaman (Ferguson) Is Not Available, Can Tim Gunn Help You?

That's Tim Gunn filling in for Aquaman, who's "off with his so-called Super Friends."

That bitch!

The clip's after the jump. Chris (not Dave) does look good, it must be the scuba gear.

Craig's memoir is #4 on the NYT Best Sellers list this Sunday. "I know!"

Video -- Tonight on Letterman, Jon Hamm Talks About His Cinemax "Spanktravision" Past

Spanktravision is a word I stole from David Spade (I think), who knows a bit too much about spanking it.

Oh c'mon, you were thinking the same thing. At least he comes by it honestly.

(Hehehe, I said "comes.")

LINK

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig -- First Musical Number in HD is "MmmBop-alicious"

Hey, who's the new girl? She's really pretty, and she can really move.

And Chris in pigtails? Just gives you something to hold onto when ...

... oops, that's for another blog, another time.

I must admit, I have always loved the song. Don't know the lyrics, can't sing along, but I love the song.

It's after the jumperoo, folks. I love the musical numbers. And, someone's -- actually two of someone -- has been working out.

Nice.

If you're not watching The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson all of your taste must be in your mouth.

It's the best show in late night.

Remember Big Brother's Russell the MMA Fighter? Guess What? He Was ...

... acting!

I'm of course reminded of the old Master Thespian sketches that Lovitz did on SNL. Can't find one to show you, though, because in their infinite (lack of) wisdom, neither Hulu nor NBC.com have any Master Thespian sketches posted.

Idiots. Get moving, NBC.com, it's just an SNL classic is all.

Okay, back to Russell ... Stefanie Lee at TV.com:

It was impossible not to hate his smug grin, arrogant demeanor, loud bark, and porn-star-style facial hair. Well, guess what? He's not a jerk at all -- he just played one on TV.

Hold on a second -- acting? On a reality show? It's no secret that "reality TV" is hardly a true-to-life depiction of actual reality -- the dialogue on The Hills is about as real as Janice Dickinson's face. And it's common knowledge that producers manipulate cast members and editors splice footage to create dramatic TV. But if we're not even watching real people, what's the point? Is there any reality left? And does it matter, as long as it's entertaining?

In an exclusive interview with TV.com, Kairouz dished on his Big Brother experience, the tactics and strategies that made him Season 11's most memorable villain, and how little of his on-screen persona was actually real.

Of course, I had a sense of this ... if you'll remember Russell is from the Bay area and was an early defender of Kevin and the gay thing in general. Rare for an MMA fighter, indeed. Showed some intellect and some heart in doing so.

Not surprising at all. He didn't even audition for the thing, he was recruited. All those people who wanna be on Big Brother and he was recruited? That seems, uh, interesting.

Click over to Stef's interview with him for more. His BB exit interview after the jumperoo.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig -- No Pithy Ferguson Headline. Why? Read On

Why no pithy Craig Ferguson headline from Joe today? Because there was just so much going on last night on Craig's show that the headline would have started here and ran through eight other blogs until it ended at the great blog Craig Ferguson's Guest List, the proprietor of which is the wonderful YouTube user Malinky2Stoatir, who clips out the show every day so that I can bring you these clips.

First there was Craig riffing on this not widely known news story about his boss Dave Letterman. You may have heard about it, maybe not, something having to do with crime and money and sex and schadenfreude you know how we Americans hate any combination of the four ... not!

Then, Michael Sheen, who stars in the new movie The Damned United, comes out on stage wearing the tightest pants that go with a suit I have ever seen in my life. Must be an Ozwald Boateng suit, I thought, or Sheen is fronting some UK punk band between movie gigs.

Tight pants? Who do you think you are, Sheen, the oldest Jonas Brother, Kevin?

(Sorry there's not a better image here, but watch the clip at this link and you'll see Sheen has to, ahem, adjust, just to sit down. Turns out Michael Sheen was a soccer player at one time and almost played for Arsenal. And he sports the tight pants much better than Kevin Jonas, anyway.)

Then, Viola Davis, who plays the Mayor of Philadelphia  in the new film Law Abiding Citizen, comes out in this tight, tight, tight dress that she just owns (not owns as in paid money for, although she might or it might have been borrowed from the designer) but that she wears like nobody's business. I love Viola Davis, have for years, and I've never seen her look so hot.

So hot! Viola, you are smokin'.

Where's the big film that makes Viola Davis a star, anyway? Meryl Streep wants it to happen, I want it to happen ... isn't that enough? Hey, movie execs, get to it!

Watch Viola talk to Craig at this link, if only for her throaty, sexy laugh, which I guess came with the dress.

However, I had to go with the cold opening with Craig's Letterman comments for the clip after the jump because ... well, because I know it's what I know you wanna see.

Maybe Craig will still have a show on CBS tonight, and if he does his guests will be Julia Louis-Dreyfus and The Avett Brothers.

And maybe Craig will try not to be so damned sexy. Because it can be dangerous in his job as late night host.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig: Project Runway Fan Ferguson & The Elegant Tim Gunn

It's his favorite TV show ... that's not on CBS, of course.

There is a little bit of me (not much because I know it takes so much work) that admires how elegant Tim Gunn is every time you see him.

If a tabloid wanted to get a great cover shot, though, I think it would be of Tim ambling out of his home somewhere in the 'burbs in his boxers to pick up the morning paper. That's a copy of the Star that I would buy. I'd frame the cover and hang it in my home just as a reminder that everyone has their bad days.

Craig, as you know (because you watch the show every night at 12:37 eastern on CBS) is a huge fan of the show. Me? Not so much. I just don't like these competition shows where the contestants snipe at each other.

If it was 42 minutes sans commercials of Tim teaching me about fabrics and why cutting on the bias is important I might very well add the show to my DVR queue.

Watch Craig kvell over Tim and the show in the clip after the jump.

And, in the comments, tell me who you'd like to see cast in Project Runway, The Musical. Craig's right, the show sells itself.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig Extra -- Medium's Patricia Arquette and An Education Star Dominic Cooper, And ...

Craig hosting the White House Correspondents' Dinner in 2008

... and I'm done with Craig's memoir, American on Purpose, which was the best literary experience of my year. Then again, I spend a lot of time (A LOT OF TIME) watching TV lately.

But, let me pull out what I think is my favorite excerpt from Craig's book, with all apologies to Harper Collins (and I believe this is fair use, and even if it isn't I've been promoting the hell outta the book so bite me if you've got a problem with this).

It comes from the top of page 231, right after Milo is born, and Craig writes ...

As I cut the umbilical cord, Milo started to cry and shiver. One of the nurses, a sour Russian woman who had bossed Sascha around a little too much for my liking, said, not unkindly, "Oh, baby, life is hard."

Shut up," I snapped. She looked at me with astonishment.

"He just got here. He doesn't need that shit yet," I told her.

She looked at me like I was insane, but I didn't five a toss. I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to a supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

I love that. Do you think Craig would adopt an aging TV blogger?

Buy American on Purpose at your local bookseller or click the icon below to get it from Amazon.

Clips after the jump. I'm always talking about how great the monologue is each night. Craig's also a great interviewer, and these two from Thursday's show are particularly entertaining.

And, Craig gave Cooper his first acting role, in the movie I'll Be There, which I know a lot more about now that I've read the book, like how much trouble it is to make a film for Morgan Creek.

Cooper stars with Peter Sarsgaard and our lovely Sally Sparrow (Doctor Who, Blink) Carey Mulligan in An Education, which premieres in NY and LA at the beginning of next month.

The movie's site at this link.

Go, watch the clips, enjoy!

In Which TV.com's Richard Lawson Takes His Own Parent Co. Re: Gay Characters on TV

Richard, you are the man. Good for you. TV.com is a product of CBS Interactive, so it took a particular kind of cojones to remark on the dearth of gay characters in primetime on that network.

And he does it in the first paragraph.

I'm proud of you, young man. I owe you lunch (somewhere reasonable though, I'm not made of gold).

In the second graph he says:

This is not going to launch into some didactic screed about this country's history of homophobia and the miles and miles we've still left to go before all citizens receive equal treatment and equal rights. I promise it won't. I'm really asking a sincere question. What is so hard about putting gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered characters on a network show? It's 2009 for god's sake, gay marriage is legal in, well, only six states, but still! Progress only ever moves forward, whether people like it or not. So a new America is inevitably emerging. One in which gay folks are just like everybody else. So couldn't television--which has pushed the culture envelope before--be a little ahead of the curve here?

Here here! This of course is all based on the latest GLAAD survey of primetime, which you can find at this link.

Video -- About This Dave Letterman Mess ...

Here's my take, not that you asked.

People at work hook up all the time. It's no different on a TV show.

Dave says it was consensual. The women haven't come forward.

This guy Haldeman, the former 48 Hours producer, is a scumbag in my view. Extortion is a crime, and he's been arrested and that's a good thing.

Is Dave a bad guy? I dunno. It depends on this one thing ... if it affected the workplace or one of these women got promoted or not fired or treated better financially or otherwise because of sex with Dave I have a problem with that.

Otherwise, this is over. The crime has been addressed and appropriate action is being taken.

Do I like it when the the boss has sex with "underlings?" (no pun intended)

No. But I don't work there so it's not really my business.

Do I have a problem with is sketchy and sensational coverage by other networks looking to make ratings hay in late night for their shows?

Definitely. I'm talking to you, NBC Today show.

Watch Dave talk about it from last night's show after the jump.

If O'Reilly even touches on this on his show, after the Mackris affair, he should be throttled. Forcibly.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig: Ferguson on East Cleveland Mayor Eric Brewer

East Cleveland Mayor Eric Brewer (above and below right) became one late night comedian's favorite politico this week, and you can't blame Craig. Stuff like this is comic gold.

Cleveland Plain Dealer, today:

East Cleveland- Challenger Gary Norton beat incumbent, first-term mayor Eric Brewer by a nearly 2-1 margin in Tuesday's primary election.

(snip)

Brewer's re-election campaign was rocked less than a week before the election when photographs made public Sept. 23 purportedly showed him wearing women's lingerie, makeup and a wig. The effect of the scandal is unknown.

Brewer has neither confirmed nor denied that he is the man in the photographs. But he has accused Norton and the city's police officials of circulating the pictures.

Norton denies this.

What can't be denied? Eric Brewer should have never given his computer to someone to get fixed, not with these images on his hard drive.

What's up, politicians? What's the attraction to silky lacey undergarments, or tapping your toe in the Minneapolis Airport men's room (Larry Craig), or having your hooker dress you in diapers (David Vitter) or paying guys in a public park restroom to go down on them (Bob Allen)?

Paying a guy to go down on him? Really? Must not be very good at it, Bob, if you have to pay them. Get your damn teeth out of the way and maybe you'll save some $$$.

The best monologue in late night, after the jump.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig Extra: "Two Ferguson Clips? I Know!"

I just can't decide. I can't. The email segment was great, and the Chris O'Donnell interview is critical, so what's a guy to do? Run both!

I'm still waiting for Craig to read a very special email. Gee, wonder who that could be from?

I'm almost three-quarters through Craig's memoir American on Purpose (buy it by clicking the icon in this post, again). I'm at the point that he's left the poorly written Maybe This Time starring Marie Osmond and Betty White and has just met wife #2 Sascha, who seems nice but obviously it doesn't work out with her.

Spoilers in real life? I know!

And, what I found out last night is that Craig is pretty friendly with Peter Capaldi who we last saw in Torchwood Children of Earth and the movie In The Loop. I certainly wish he would have come Stateside and promoted the series on Craig's show.

Then of course, after putting the book down, finally, at 12:30 last night I watch the monologue and email segments and then fell asleep and had a dream that Craig and I were sharing a hotel room somewhere and he had just had dinner with my mom and his wife while I tried to pack for him. I ended up packing some of the furniture in the room, trying to cram the stuff into luggage -- I know, very strange indeed buy my subconscious works in very mysterious ways.

Clip after the jump. Buy this book, it's an outstanding entertaining read.

Video -- HIMYM: I Don't Really Care How He Meets Their Mother

Do you? I never, ever think about it unless it comes up in an article about the show or in an episode preview. I just enjoy the show.

It is one of the few shows still on TV that gives me that joke-driven rhythm that I expect out of a multi-camera comedy. Sure I enjoy a bunch of the single-camera comedies, particularly those that come from Bill Lawrence (Scrubs) but ... and let the email and the comments commence ... most shows called comedies on TV, especially on cable, aren't really funny.

They're somewhat humorous and provide some mild bemusement (internal smiles and head nodding) but they aren't comedies. Showtimes's Weeds and The United States of Tara aren't comedies  in the traditional sense. Neither was this year's Hung on HBO and even the breakout of this season, Modern Family, only made me laugh out loud once and it was the creampuff joke at the beginning of the episode.

(And don't even get me started on shows like Ugly Betty and Desperate Housewives. Not comedies, they just aren't.)

Cougar Town looks very promising to me. I love Courtney, she does some great physical comedy and the jokes are there.

It's why I've turned to animated comedy to make me laugh. And, recently, I'm starting to watch Friends reruns again just to lighten things up.

As far as How I Met Your Mother goes, just keep bringing the funny, like last night with stripper doppelganger Lily and I'm happy.

And when Ted meets that woman I just hope she's funny.

Stripper doppelganger Lily clip after the jump.

Big Bang Theory Preview Video -- "It Was Just Fine"

Fine? It was fine, Leonard?

That's just not a good sign. First time out and ... well, we saw the afterglow or lack thereof last week.

You gotta watch the clip if only to hear Sheldon discuss erectile dysfunction.

And, btw, about all these people on the web who wanna see the writers hook Penny up with Sheldon? On what planet does Sheldon Cooper get to have sex before 30? Or even 40?

Preview clip from tonight's episode after the jump.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig: Ferguson Powers Cloudy With ... to 2nd Week at #1

Yep, it was all Craig's doing. His son loved Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, he loved the movie, he brought the writers and directors of the movie on the show (former HIMYM writers Christopher Miller and Phil Lord) and it takes the top box office slot for the second week in a row, beating the Bruce Willis starring Surrogates.

That Craig, he's a powerful guy.

(Hey, what is it with all these TV shows and movies about us living our lives through digital avatars, anyway? I thought that all went south with the waning interest in Second Life.)

Craig's guests this week include Chris O'Donnell tonight fresh off a big win for the NCIS: LA premiere, and later in the week tune in for James Spader (again?) Colby Smulders from HIMYM, Patricia Arquette from new CBS acquisition Medium and (I'm sure Craig's really looking forward to this) Project Runway's Tim Gunn.

I'm about 75 pages into Craig's memoir, American on Purpose. It's really delightful. Laugh out loud funny, sweet, frank, instructive (I never knew how to sniff glue before reading it) ... I'm having a great time reading it.

No, I'm not huffing glue. I'm an adult. 

Andrew Ryan from the Toronto Globe and Mail spoke to Craig recently about the book and show, and here's the highlight, in my opinion:

Would you ever consider a move to the 10 p.m. timeslot, à la Leno?

No. I don't think people are ready for cussing shark puppets at 10 o'clock.

I dunno, I'm always ready for a cussing shark puppet. How about you?

Clip after the jump.

Give Us This Day Our Daily Craig: Ferguson Talks to His Boss, Dave Letterman

And as you know, American on Purpose is on sale at your local bookseller or you can click the icon below and pick it up at Amazon.com.

I'm hoping to get to a taping of the show in the next couple of weeks. Will let you know all about that.

Clip after the jump.

Video -- NCIS: Los Angeles Brings the Action and the Body Count

Here's your new Los Angeles team watching the TV I wish I had. Wall-sized? Sign me up.

(On a related note, I saw the new version of my Sony Bravia with 120Hz instead of my 60 Hz for less than I paid for mine. That really hurts.)

They open with Chris O'Donnell's character, G. Callen (just G., an orphan, they never told him what the G even stands for) leaving another scuzzy beach adjacent temp rental (too loud). His running buddy Sam Hanna (LL Cool J, hey what ever happened to him transitioning to Todd Smith?) meets him, brings him back to work (early, before he's due) at the Office of Special Projects in the most un-office looking office ever.

Actually looks like a palace in Morocco. In fact, the palace in Morocco that Patsy and Edina go to in this (LINK) episode of Ab Fab.

Hetty Lange (Linda Hunt) runs the joint, paying attention to the details. There's a psych on board to comment on everything from interrogation to body language, young computer-smart underlings and a whole bunch of people who just walk by who will probably end up dead in future episodes, you know how that goes.

(If you don't know what I mean, think about fate of the guy in the landing party on Star Trek that you've never seen before. Get it? Good.)

On the big TV (top of post, unseen) is Vance, who you know, no intr0ductions needed, right?

It does kind of seem, when you look at it that way that they've borrowed a little something from Lie To Me, something from 24, and the buddy cop first half hour of Law & Order. And I don't mind, because it works out.

You know if you've read this blog for a while that I'm not a big fan of child in peril stories, but I invested about a half hour in this episode before that revealed itself so I stuck with it. But, it also lowered my enjoyment level. Still, all the stuff you love from the original -- tight, well crafted stories that go somewhere laid out so that you have opportunity to play along (which I find important when watching this kind of thing), room for characters to breath but not too hard because it's mainly a procedural, an attractive cast ... it's all good.

On top of that, there's a lot more action, at least there was in this premiere episode. And a higher body count. An hour later allows more deaths? I guess.

More, including a preview of next week's episode, after the jump.

Our Daily Craig -- Ferguson w/Entertainment Weekly's Ken Tucker on Fall TV

You can read Ken's blog at Entertainment Weekly at this link.

What he likes? The Good Wife, Community, Fringe season two and the True Blood finale.

What he doesn't like? Jay doing his 11:30 show at 10 (too awkward in his opinion as a host), The Biggest Loser being two hours long, ballroom dancing done by "celebrities," Project Runway in Los Angeles and the idea that the vampires on the CW keep diaries.

And "His Chatiness" seems to really like Joel McHale, despite the tallness and the skinny ties.

Buy Craig's book, it's out now! Clip after the jump.

2 Clips -- TV.com Serves Up Three Rivers Star Alex O'Loughlin for Exclusive Fan Chat October 2nd

You might remember him from the CBS vampire drama Moonlight (was it too soon for vampires in 2007?) costarring with former David Tennant flame Sophia Myles (who was, after all, The Girl in the Fireplace).

This season he's back on US TV screens in a show called Three Rivers, about an organ transplant team in a Pittsburgh hospital. TV.com has Alex for an exclusive fan chat on October 2nd, right before the show's premiere two days later. I've seen it and I'm hoping that the show does wonderful things to increase the number of us who carry organ donation cards around with us just in case the unthinkable happens.

The pilot episode was extremely watchable -- nice character development, solid story and good performances from most everyone but especially Katherine Moennig from Showtime's The L Word as a very intense young woman determined to save lives.

While you're waiting, and I know you are, watch a clip after the jump about Alex and the new show from CBS and then click over to this TV.com page (LINK) for more clips and this page (LINK) to bookmark it for the October 2 event.

And I'll say more about the show as we get closer to premiere day.

And a bonus clip for Moonlight fans, too. I'll find a fan tribute clip at YouTube and make it the second clip after the jump.

Video -- Glenn Beck: McCain Would Have Been Worse President That Obama or Hillary

The quote comes from a show debuting online in less than two hours called @KatieCouric, a web-0nly show where she'll interview people who are interesting but not interesting enough (or too controversial for, maybe?) the CBS Evening News or 60 Minutes.

Today's guest? Howard Beale + Stupid + Dry Drunk + Crazy + Mormon = Glenn Beck.

And, now that his big 9/12 event has come and gone, I guess he feels safe to tell the teabagging crowd that watch him with their tin foil hats on that John McCain would have been worse for this country than either of the two Dem frontrunners ... including that "Marxist, Fascist, Nazi, Commie, Kenyan euthanizer of your grandma."

They won't be loving that now, will they! To all of them I have to say, "Sorry about your fearless leader talking out both sides of his ample ass, but crazy, stupid, LDS Church-going dry drunks will do that, you know. Even if they live with the rich people in New Canaan, CT."

Watch the clip after the jump, and then click over to the @KatieCouric page at CBS News to watch the entire interview at 7 eastern time.

I wonder if Beck will play this clip on HIS show today? I wonder if he has the stones to alienate his core audience? Maybe if he sends them all Reynolds Wrap coupons afterward.

For that hats, you know.

Beck graphic courtesty The Disorderly Report.

Video -- Craig Ferguson Returns Tonight, American on Purpose Releases Tomorrow

It's a big week for the cheeky monkey Scottish Conan guy.

Big haps for Craig all over Facebook, including this particular group that will be tweeting Craig and Craig's book all day tomorrow.

I will be out at my local bookseller tomorrow morning picking up my copy of American on Purpose. You should too.

In the meantime, some Craig from before his break. The best monologue in late night right past the jump.

Video -- New CBS Monday Comedy Accidentally Claims Multiple Victims

Disclaimer -- During the run of Dharma & Greg an episode was written where Dharma (Jenna Elfman, celebrity Scientologist) visits a psychiatrist (played by fellow Xenuite Kirstie Alley). Scientology has a thing against psychiatry, of course, and Kirstie played her like some gross caricature. I haven't been a fan of either since.

(I mean it's okay with me if you're an actor or actress and you wanna join a cult, just don't use your TV cred to diss a discipline that I think does a lot of people good.)

I watched Accidentally on Purpose, Elfman's new Monday CBS comedy over the weekend. As it was only 22 minutes long I don't think I can sue anyone for theft of time, but I wish I could.

Because I've seen Knocked Up and Suddenly Susan already, and this show is just that movie and that TV show pasted together.

In fact, I swear to the TV gods that the office that Elfman's movie critic character works at is the set from Suddenly Susan, as if the producers thought to themselves, "Yeah, that show got one thing right and it was the look of the office. We'll just add cubicles and it will let people know 'This is a publishing office. This is where people write.'"

(Not to the network and producers ... that's an awfully small office for a big city daily.)

And the shame of it is that is completely wastes the talents of Ashley Jensen (Extras, Ugly Betty).

So, Elfman plays Billie, a film critic who has been pining away for her boss the publisher of the paper (Grant Show, last seen in the critically lauded Swingtown) who can offer to her only a "live me with" offer that just isn't enough. She wants more.

Then she meets a guy named Zack. At this point just replay a bunch of scenes from Knocked Up in your head (without the funny friends) and she gets preggers.

The guy is played by Jon Foster (the very fine Ben Foster's brother). Nothing to write home about, imho. Sorry dude.

There are other people in the cast ... but you know, I just don't think it will be on the air long enough for you to be worried about these details.

If you must, check it tonight after the season premiere of How I Met Your Mother. Then, find something on your DVR that you can record and watch in its stead on Monday nights if you're a fan of the CBS Monday lineup.

NBC spent years trying to come up with the great fourth sitcom to spell the other three they always seemed to have for Thursday nights (Suddenly Susan, Stark Raving Mad, Caroline in the City, etc.). Looks like it will take CBS a while to find a proper fourth as well.

The only decent moment from the show is posted in a clip after the jump, because I'm good like that. Always saving you valuable time so that you can get more viewing in.

This show should be canceled in time for Grant Show to take that Melrose Place gig they've probably been swinging in front of him. A February sweeps appearance, maybe?

We'll see.

Video -- Evil Supervillian Interrupts Emmycast, Laughs Ominously, Predicts Disaster

So he can't get a break from the Evil League of Evil, that ominous laugh is really working for him these days at least.

"A lot of guys ignore the laugh, and that's about standards."

Special appearance by Penny, Captain Hammer and Moist.

Watch Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog at this link. Buy swag at this link.

Video -- The Good Wife on CBS Rips Through the Headlines, Steps Inside

First off, thanks CBS for the screener. Second, thank you for bringing Julianna Margulies back to TV. I was totally enjoying Canterbury's Law on Fox last year with Julianna also playing a lawyer, albeit not as sympathetic a character as she plays here. Apparently I was only one of a few, however, and it went away too soon.

Here, Margulies plays Alicia Florrick, the wife of an Illinois State's Attorney (Chris Noth) caught in a sex scandal. It's starts, in fact, at the press conference where husband Peter, admits to sex with prostitutes with the dutiful wife standing next to him at the podium.

Quickly however, we veer sharply from Mr. Florrick and concentrate on the Mrs., who with her husband being thrown in the pokey on allegations that he traded sex and drugs for the favors of his office is now the primary breadwinner.

Having graduated top in her class at Georgetown Law School, she hasn't worked since the second year of her marriage and is now competing with a guy almost half her age for a spot at the firm.

And, she and the kids are living with his mom. That can't be too comfortable, huh?

See, it's all set up to make her a much more sympathetic character than the lawyer she played last year (March 2008) for Fox. Plus, as a wife done wrong she is perfectly suited for the case assigned to her at the firm, defending a woman accused of murdering her ex. And that's where I'm going to stop recapping because I don't want to spoil it for you.

Very good cast, including Josh Charles (SportsNight) and Christine Baranski as partners at the firm, but especially Archie Panjabi (right) as Kalinda the office investigator whose sharp tongue and warm heart contrast so well and whose ample cleavage works better than a subpoena, as long as there's a man standing between her and what she needs.

(Panjabi, a UK native of Indian descent who spent some of her youth in Mumbai, would be a great Doctor Who companion. She handles the comedy and pathos equally well and I also imagine that she looks great running, maybe even better than Freema Agyeman, and we all know that's a big part of casting the Doctor's pal.)

More, including two clips, after the jump.

2 Clips -- TV.com Taking Questions for NCIS Cast Appearance on CBS Early Show

Finally, a reason to watch the CBS Early Show. Click over to this link at TV.com and give them a question, then set your DVR for the Early Show on Tuesday and see if you are one of the chosen.

I'm not the biggest NCIS fan out there but I've seen my share of episodes, so many that I'm starting to forgive them for losing Sasha Alexander to NBC's E-Ring (which lasted about a heartbeat on the network) and mediocre films.

And Cote de Pablo is fine, don't get me wrong, but there's something about Sasha. She's in the new Jennifer Aniston movie, btw, poor girl. Sasha, if you keep making Jennifer Aniston films (she was in He's Just Not That Into You as well) you may never been seen by your adoring fans again.

Or anyone else, for that matter. Watch this weekend as Love Happens grosses under $3 mil, my prediction.

In fact, here's advice for all actors -- if Jennifer Aniston has chosen a film to star in, it probably sucks and you should just say no. She has completely lost her taste in film scripts. In fact, I would go as far as saying that besides The Good Girl every project she's chosen since Friends ended has been a worse movie than the films she did during Friends, and I'm including Picture Perfect and  The Object of My Affection, the latter being a personal favorite.

Alexander was the lead in the pilot for The Karenskys, the Linwood Boomer pilot that didn't get picked up by CBS this year.

My favorite woman on the show, without a doubt, is Pauley Perrette. Great energy, snappy with her dialogue, and I'm always drawn to alternative types.

After the jump, watch an NCIS season six recap in advance of Tuesday night's season premiere of the show.

Right after, you can catch the series premiere of NCIS: Los Angeles starring LL Cool J, Chris O'Donnell and Oscar-winner Linda Hunt. Watch a clip from their first episode below as well.

Emmy Preview Video -- TV.com Emmy Poll Closes Soon, Get Clickin'!

Detail from my ballot, the drama show nominees. Mad Men should win, but I think with the academy the bloom has come off the rose and Fox's House will get the nod for some very innovative TV this past season.

No, I don't watch House regularly, but enough that I sense this will happen.

Click over to the TV.com Emmy poll and get your ballot done before the big day (Sunday, starts at 8 eastern on CBS).

Detail from my ballot on comedy nominees after the jump with explainers and a preview promo clip from NPH.

2 Clips -- Not Suitable For Work Post on Big Brother: Giggly Girl Who Can't Tell Time Wins!

FUCK!

So, this is what it's come to, America. The blonde chick with the big tits who can't tell time won Big Brother 11 (that's the link to the clip where she confesses to not be able to tell time, also posted after the jump.

Okay, CBS and Endemol, you have shown us that the world is slowly crumbling to dust, can we cancel this show now?

They're canceling it in Britain, let's follow their lead, okay?

You might ask, "Joe, are you sure she wasn't just kidding, trying to fake out Jeff while they reclined staring intently at the clock?"

Not a chance. Watch the second clip after the jump, you'll see.

I lost interest in the show this year the week Torchwood Children of Earth broke up my viewing patterns. When did you bail? Did you come back to the show at the end? It apparently did very well against the second night of Leno on NBC (more, much more, on that later).

Leave a comment below.

Fall Preview Video -- In Which I Take On TV.com's Five Most Promising Shows of the Fall (and how they missed one)

Okay, first things first, Tim Surette is apparently TV.com's editorial king of the hill, he gets to choose two. I'm just sayin', not trying to rile anything up (though Richard Lawson is getting to be my favorite writer there).

Lying, I love stirring up office politics where people I don't even know work.

Also, they missed one show, but we'll get to that later.

Okay, five shows that TV.com thinks will make it, and I agree with four of the five -- Modern Family (Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet pictured left), Cougar Town, Flash Forward (top of post, Joseph Fiennes and John Cho in action) on ABC and Glee on Fox (Lea Michele below right) -- and I could be convinced of the fifth,The Good Wife with Julianna Margulies on CBS, I have a soft spot for her, if CBS would send me screeners like they used to.

Ahem. Throat clearing very loudly. Cough. Cough. Hacking cough.

(Then again, ABC isn't really forthcoming with their stuff, either. Cable channels love me, broadcast not so much.)

Of course we've all seen Glee, though you get another chance Thursday night at 8, if you can stand to have a crawl of Twitter messages from the cast, creators and others (fans?) running under it the whole time.

I can't.

Can't watch the Twit-ty rerun of the first season finale of Fringe for the same reason. Of course, I can just throw the DVD in the machine.

About Glee, Lawson says:

Glee is wickedly funny in the same gonzo way that Popular was, with strange cutaways and almost-cartoonishly manic characters who will stop at nothing to get what they want. Oh, and it has musical numbers! Big, beautiful, clear-voiced pop numbers sung passionately and without any of that irksome irony that's been laid on too thick in most of the things people deem “smart” these days. The cast, led by Broadway vets Matthew Morrison (South Pacific at Lincoln Center) and Lea Michele (Spring Awakening), is attractive and majorly, earnestly talented. And hey, it's nice to see that it’s so gay-friendly, considering that it’s on Fox.

Yeah, what he said, Sean Hannity. And you too O'Reilly you lying sack.

Sorry, can't ever resist the opportunity, you know.

If there was one show I think they missed, it's Joel McHale's Community on NBC. Hey, that gives me an idea -- if you'd like to see either a) the NBC Fall Preview Show which includes clips of Community or b) yet another show where Joel McHale introduces TV clips, you can kill two birds with one stone and watch the NBC Fall Preview 2009 hosted by McHale.

It's the Hulu embed after the jumperoo. Click over, enjoy the lush self-promotion. I'll also include the video widget from the ABC Flash Forward website that you can click around on to find a bunch of clips from and about the show.

Just one more week until actual real Fall TV shows start. Not to diss the Summer stuff, but there just isn't the sense of urgency about Royal Pains and Burn Notice for me that there is about Fall shows.

Don't you think?

Re: Megan Fox -- Anyone Out There Buy Cosmo? I Have a Question

(Before I start, about the image above ... this is a standard teen movie device, the hot girl walks down the hall at her high school "we own this place" power image, but usually it's a gang of three or four -- examples here and here. In Jennifer's Body, they give this iconic shot to the star all on her own, I think it's supposed to indicate her power, which segues well into the beginning of this post. You'll see. )

Hey, regular readers ... do any of you buy Cosmopolitan? If you could, I would love it if you could read the interview with Megan Fox in the the October issue.

I'd like to know more about this vagina power she talks about (E! Online):

"Women hold the power because we have the vaginas," she tells October's Cosmo. "If you're in a heterosexual relationship and you're a female, you win."

She also pulls the ol' hot-actress-who-thinks-she's-not card.

"I'm very confident in how I project my personality," she says. "But in terms of how I look, I'm completely, hysterically insecure. I'm self-loathing, introverted and neurotic."

I would click over to the Cosmo site myself, but I did and I found it ironic that the site only posts the first four paragraphs and holds back the rest.

I guess in a way, Cosmopolitan Magazine has vagina power as well, huh.

Well, your vagina power doesn't work on me, Cosmo.

Wait a minute ... now I know everything I need to know about vagina power. I'm immune to it.

Duh. Obviously.

More after the jump.

Craig Ferguson's New Show Open: I'm All Giddy!

Watch it here, now. I haven't watched last night's show yet, but I'm getting to it.

More later.

So great to have Craig back live, and now in Hi-Def, too. He makes my day.

LINK