I Am A TV Junkie

Video -- Tony Awards DVR Cutoff Video: Chris Rock Presents Best Musical

I wasn't like I didn't know The Book of Mormon was going to win ... I just wanted to see it. In case you did, too, but your DVR cut the show off, here it is.

Great show. Outstanding ratings, too. Neil Patrick Harris, you have risen to the rank of national treasure. Enjoy that in between the kids' feedings and that promo tour for The Smurfs.

Trey Parker's black sequined blouse? Faaaaaaaabulous.

Neil's spoken word ending for the night's festivities, also cut off by my DVR, is in a clip after the jump.

Which Late Night Comic is Engineering a Massive Human v. Technology International Incident for Paris

Interpol, you have been warned.

Craig, in Paris, with Geoff, Kristen Bell, Michael Naidus ("Naidus!") and hopefully a suitcase full of pals inc. Sid.

As you know, the lovely Ms. Bell doesn't exactly have what you would call affection for Geoff. Craig knows this and is apparently stoking the flames of conflict and completely willing to engineer an international incident.

Thus the Interpol tip.

That bitch! She does love the drama now, doesn't she. No, no, not Kristen, I'm talking about the Scottish guy.

I'll remind you of this as we get closer. To August. Which is like forever from now.

In the meantime, watch last night's monologue. Click this, it'll pop up right here.

Video -- "The Robot Made Me Cry" - Craig Ferguson on Twitter

I love when Craig makes himself laugh. This is the first time I'm seen the robot make him cry.

A truly inspired tweetmail segment from Craig and Geoff.

Ashton Kutcher? Yes, and Here's Why it Makes Sense

A) He knows his way around a multi-camera sitcom.

B) Physically he is everything "Alan Harper" wishes he was, that could be funny.

C) Huge name recognition.

D) Demi as a guest star.

E) Bruce Willis as a guest star (a new Malibu neighbor now that Steven Tyler has another show to be on).

This is how I feel about it: This guy is doing a huge solid to a cast and crew that needs to get back to work. That's enormous and very much like Kutcher. And, it just might be better than anything before it.

Read the Hollywood Reporter story that broke the news at this link. I'm sure they are very happy to have beaten Nikki to the scoop.

UPDATED: Two and a Half Men Reboot -- Why the Hate? It's a Fascinating Exercise!

UPDATE: My update is actually just a simple question: Did CBS and Warner Bros. release the info about Grant to see how it would fly with pop culture addicts and fans of the show? Is that why we're hearing about this? Because I have a funny feeling we're being somewhat manipulated. More on this as it progresses. Stranger things have happened in this world. There was that one time when that hot British actor with the smokin' hot girlfriend got arrested for picking up a hooker on Santa Monica Blvd. in Hollywood, for example.

I get that TV critics and discriminating viewers and in some cases just people you meet on the street are not fans of Two and a Half Men.

Hey, I don't particularly like the show, either. This is what I find fascinating, though. Here's a show that we can pretty much agree isn't something fans of TV comedy have ever held dear. But the producers are actively working to change the show and no one seems to be interested in what can be made of the show's remains now that Charlie Sheen isn't coming back.

I think it's a fascinating exercise in making television. Or more accurately, remaking television.

This of course is all prompted today by the story at TV Line (link) about negotiations between CBS/Warners and Hugh Grant that would have the British movie star with a bad boy problem of his own (the "Divine" Ms. Brown, who's actual name was Estella Thompson, from back in the day).

Interesting idea. Seems from what I've gathered those talks have broken down over an issue of "artistic differences" (I know, I laughed too) but there's still a chance it might happen.

More of this after the jumperoo.

Obama v. Trump Ratings Week Two -- Obama Wins, AGAIN!

I stole this very simple Trump/Obama montage from Politico. I just didn't feel like doing one myself. Sue me.

Oh the irony!!! Week two of Obama v. Trump in the ratings wasn't a head to head affair, but it was still telling. According to THR (link), the Obama 60 Minutes interview shellacked Trump's Celeb Apprentice penultimate episode by a heaping margin:

NBC’s three-hour telecast — which saw Star Jones and LaToya Jackson fired and NeNe Leakes quitting -- didn’t fare so well: Celebrity Apprentice (7 million total viewers, 2.4 rating in the adults 18-49 demographic) was the lowest-rated spring telecast for the franchise, dipping 23 percent. Dateline (3.9 million, 0.8) served as a weak lead-in, down 33 percent. The Peacock placed fourth for the night in the key demo.

CBS won the night with 60 Minutes (13.8 million, 2.3) surging 43 percent, thanks to President Obama’s only televised interview about Osama bin Laden’s death. The two-hour finale of The Amazing Race (8.6 million, 2.5) was the lowest-rated in franchise history. CSI: Miami (9.7 million, 2.0), however, ended its season with a double-digit uptick, but still was one of the series’ lowest-rated episodes.

Yeah, the Donald, you're a genius. You're blowing your series, dude. But please keep fake running for President. I figure in two more election cycles you'll be left with a counter job at Burger King at this rate.

60 Minutes Video -- Obama Interview, Complete, w/ Steve Kroft

Just in case you missed it. Compelling TV, it was.

UPDATE: Apparently there is trouble with the video embed. Click here to see this clip in its entirety. Sorry, gang.

Video -- Which Late Night Host Has "Done Tons of Really Weird Sexy Stuff"

And not just that, there's cannibals and paint huffing and Louisville and lotsa Silence of the Lambs references in a particularly funny tweet/email segment. I know at the beginning of the clip Craig himself says it's not but he's wrong.

Watch it by clicking THIS.

Tonight Craig has John Waters and Pauley Perrette from NCIS and the rest of the week offers guests as diverse as ... okay, not so diverse. Still good, though. On Thursday the guests are Exporting Raymond filmmaker Phil Rosenthal and Juliette Lewis. Friday brings Will Ferrell (yeah, Will Ferrell!) and Olivia Munn.

(Oh course you would know that if you following RSA News on Twitter or Facebook or just bookmarked their site, they keep me and the rest of the Robot Skeleton Army up to date.)

Video -- History Lessons with Craig Ferguson: The HMS Bounty, Ministry of Silly Walks

Who says you can't learn anything from a late night vulgar lounge comedian?

Craig teaches you about the real life HMS Bounty in last night's monologue (LINK). And more important, he has just shown son Milo (10) the Ministry of Silly Walks sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus (LINK).

Tonight Craig has Bob Saget and Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings. Saget indicates there will be a lot of "crikey dingo" in tonight's show. Or if you rather, "Wassa Commina Go" or "Tootsie Frootsie" or "Ooh La La." 12:37 am, CBS, they care, you watch.

Hollywood Reporter Exclusive -- Chuck Lorre's Two and a Half Men Reboot

As the Reporter notes in their story at this link, upfronts are just around the corner and I'm sure CBS would like to know if they have a show or not.

Apparently Chuck Lorre has a plan. THR says:

Sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that series co-creator Chuck Lorre has hatched an idea to reboot the Warner Bros-produced sitcom with a new creative direction that does not involve Sheen, who was fired from the series in March. Lorre is said to have presented close associates and Men co-star Jon Cryer with the plan, and the studio and network are aware of his intentions. According to an insider, Lorre has told Cryer this reboot would involve a significant role for him and the introduction of a new, yet-to-be-cast character.

And there's lots more, click over to the Reporter now for their exclusive.

I hope there's also a significant role for Angus T. Jones, he gets the show's best lines and is a solid young comic actor.

More as it unfolds.

CBS News' Lara Logan: "There Was No Doubt in My Mind That I Was in the Process of Dying"

It took me forever to find a photo of Lara Logan that I thought was appropriate to accompany this report that she'll soon discuss the brutal assault she suffered in Cairo near Tahrir Square on 60 Minutes.

You don't wanna go with a photo of her smiling or something from an formal event where she's in an evening gown and I really didn't want to use that last image of her from Tahrir, I keep looking at the men behind her in that famous image and wonder if they were the men who attacked her.

I've been watching this woman report from dangerous places for a lot of years and I have always been impressed with her courage and pluck. Though it might be easier to get a job in broadcast journalism if one is blonde and attractive and female it certainly doesn't help you do the job. It actually probably impedes the work. Certainly in a Middle East war zone it's not convenient to have blonde hair sticking out of a helmet.

So I was thinking about all those things when the news of the tragic events in Cairo came to fore.

On Sunday, the CBS News chief foreign affairs correspondent will speak for the first time about what happened on 60 Minutes with Scott Pelley:

Logan lost contact with her colleagues for approximately 25 minutes and endured a sexual assault and beating that she feared she would not survive. "There was no doubt in my mind that I was in the process of dying," she tells Pelley. "I thought not only am I going to die, but it's going to be just a torturous death that's going to go on forever..."

Thoughts of her two young children helped reinforce her determination to survive the assault, she says, which finally ended when she was rescued by a group of Egyptian women and soldiers. The soldiers drove her and her team back to their hotel, where she was examined by a doctor. She returned to the U.S. the next day and went directly into a hospital, where she was treated for four days.

When Logan saw her children, "I felt like I had been given a second chance that I didn't deserve...because I did that to them. I came so close to leaving them, to abandoning them," she says.

I am also interested in finding out if anything was ever done in an attempt to find the men who did this. With all the coverage of the event at the time it was not clear at all if there was anything done toward that effort.

60 Minutes airs Sunday at 7 eastern on CBS. Logan will also be featured on the 60MinutesOvertime.com site after the broadcast.

UPDATED: The Only Tina Fey Interview You Need, Tonight w/ Craig Ferguson

UPDATE: Watch the interview, it's in two parts: Part One here and Part B here. Thank you, once again, to RSA General Mal who provides the clips and all good things Craig Ferguson-related.

I know, this is a picture of the Olsen twins. Believe it or not, this came up when I searched Google Images for pics of Tina Fey + Bossypants, which is the title of her book (but then you already know that).

I have no idea why this pic showed up, I was looking for images of Tina holding the book. Well, here's the cover of the book, anyway.

I decided Tina would more than likely prefer I posted Mary-Kate and Ashley, though, so I am. As long as I'm posting the cover image, that is.

But about the Olsen twins, since they're here, when did they turn into Sally Kellerman in Back to School? Right?

Anyhow, do something now ... take a disco nap, set your alarm, set your DVR, do something, but make sure you see Craig Ferguson talk to Tina Fey tonight on his show.

If she's lucky, she'll get to do the Secretariat dance. And I'm interested to see what she'll make of Geoff who frankly is an acquired taste.

In your pants.

Of course all the comedy types with a memoir come to Craig since his great success with American On Purpose, which of course is still available at your local bookseller and from Amazon.com in print or for the kindle or even audiobook read by the author.

And here's a link to buy that and then a link to buy Tina's book in all it's various forms. The middle icon in each is the Kindle edition, the final icon for the audiobook.

 

And then after the jump you can watch a 30 Rock video of the cast celebrating their 100th episode and a recent Craig monologue, just because I wanna spread some love.

Craig's on tonight at 12:37 eastern on CBS. They care, you know.

CBS Sunday Video -- England's National Theatre Presents War Horse's Incredible Puppeteering

From the National Theatre website:

War Horse is a thrilling and spectacular production based on the celebrated novel by Michael Morpurgo.

The First World War is the backdrop for this tale of bravery, loyalty, and the extraordinary bond between a young recruit and his horse.

Actors, working with astonishing life-sized puppets by the internationally renowned Handspring Puppet Company, take audiences on an unforgettable journey through history.

The Handspring Puppet Company is fronted by a South African couple, Adrian Kohler and Basil Jones, and their work here rivals anything that you have seen in productions of The Lion King. These "horses" have very specific and very horse-like movement that will astound.

After the jump I have the story about Jones and Kohler from CBS Sunday Morning and a commercial for the play.

And further, a production of this show is now in previews at NYC's Vivian Beaumont Theatre at Lincoln Center, and you can check their site out at this link.

A Survey of Today's "Katie Couric Leaves CBS Evening News" News

First off all, the stories that Katie is leaving CBS to tour with Li'l Wayne as one of his girls on the pole? That's ... possibly not true. I'm digging and if I do find Katie on the pole I'll let you know.

(Could you imagine me showing up at a Li'l Wayne concert? Ooh, just made myself laugh.)

The NY Times got Katie for a Q and A right before the announcement that she'll leave in June when her contract expires. The Times' Andrew Goldman, however, thought it time to press Katie on the Sheen situation, strangely enough:

Since your new book, “The Best Advice I Ever Got: Lessons From Extraordinary Lives,” is about great advice, imagine that your boss, Les Moonves, called you on Christmas 2009 and said: “Charlie Sheen was just arrested for holding his wife at knife point. He has a history of this sort of behavior with women, but he makes a ton of money for the network.” What do you tell him?
Fire him.

Have you told him as much?
No. He hasn’t really sought my advice on Charlie Sheen. I hope what Charlie Sheen did wouldn’t be consistent with the values of this network. That’s probably an unrealistic response, but that’s my initial gut reaction. Luckily, that’s not my job.

Did you feel less proud going to work at CBS knowing that he was essentially a colleague?
I don’t really consider Charlie Sheen a colleague.

So weird that the guy would go there, right? WTF?

From Poniewozik at Time:

Couric's talent aside, her hire was based on a line of thinking unfashionable in the evening-news business: that the evening news business was not dying, and therefore that it was possible not just to take market share from a competitor but to actually being in a new audience and increase the total evening-news viewership. You just had to spend enough money and try something different.

That didn't happen, and the list of names bruited about for CBS—all of whom, by the way, are more than competent to sit behind a desk and read news copy—suggests that Couric is the last network evening-news anchor who will ever be hired on that premise. Let's be blunt: if you're putting Harry Smith behind the desk, nothing against him as a newsman, but it is not to revolutionize the format or bring in a new generation of viewers. It is to manage decline and try to get a bigger proportion of a shrinking news audience.

From the UK paper The Guardian (can you imagine us EVER hearing news about BBC anchors here in the States?):

The 54-year-old newsreader, who proved a short-lived boost to CBS News ratings, is on the verge of launching a syndicated talkshow, according to AP. Several broadcasters, including her old home NBC, are understood be interested.

However, for the moment, neither Couric or her network is elaborating on what appear to be well sourced rumours. But the absence of a formal denial is telling.

A spokeswoman for CBS News said: "We're having ongoing discussions with Katie Couric. We have no announcements to make at this time. Until we do, we will continue to decline comment on rumour or speculation."

Yeah, yeah. We know the score, though. And Katie better move fast if she wants her syndie talkfest to grab the Oprah audience. Ellen's already angling for them and Anderson Cooper has a show pending.

Dear China: Martin Sheen Wasn't REALLY Our President

My compliments to my favorite political blogger, John Aravosis from Americablog, for finding this in China's Global Times.

In an editorial today that you can read at this link, the editors take exception to the antics of one Charlie Sheen, who you might know from, you know, all the drug taking and the misogyny and the violent love and, well, winning. They said:

As much as Sheen has lived a life most Chinese men can only fantasize about, our admiration of him can only go so far. He has not only lost face with his public rants, but also crossed a cultural barrier no Chinese can abide.

He ignored his own father's advice to keep quiet, who was once the president of the US. Sheen is a disgrace, unfilial to his father and his fatherland.

Martin Sheen should at once go on television and tearfully apologize on behalf of his son for his inability to keep up appearances and keep his mouth shut.

Yes, they think Martin Sheen was really our President. If only, huh?

I thought to myself, "How the hell could they think Martin Sheen was actually our President?" Then I thought of Reagan and Schwarzenegger and ... just sighed.

Another thing in the story caught my eye:

Sheen attracted 1 million Twitter followers in just 24 hours, yet more evidence that microblogs spread the most unhealthy contagions in society like a disease. Chinese family, coworkers, or the authorities would have taken firm steps to make sure someone like Sheen did not make a public spectacle of himself.

That's amazing copy. Not only dissing Sheen but striking at the credibility of social networks like Twitter in advance of what the Chinese assume will be protests started on those same social media sites as they have in Egypt, Tunisia, Yemen, Bahrain, and Libya recently.

Those Chinese, so efficient with their multi-tasking.

For the gang at the Global Times, here's a link to Martin Sheen's IMDb page, it should clear things up for you. I think.

CBS v. Sheen: The Ultimate Diss? Recasting Charlie Harper, But Who?

So you've no doubt read that Charlie Sheen no longer has a job. Warner Bros. Television, in a letter from their attorneys to Marty Singer, made it official.

I can't help but feel like the most insulting thing that those two companies could do to Sheen is recast the role of Charlie Harper and just use the time-tested soap opera method of a voice-over announcer saying plainly, "The role of Charlie Harper will now be played by ..."

But who?

The first actor touted is John Stamos, who btw is in New York right now shooting both an ep of SVU and something for Garry Marshall's New Year's Eve film. And ... showing up at a performance of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying to praise Daniel Radcliffe in the role he played back in 1995 (I think it's 95, he replaced Matthew Broderick in the role).

(Oh Garry Marshall, will you please stop making vignette-y holiday themed romcoms and shepherd some legitimately good multi-camera comedy to TV network or two, please? And get your sister Penny off the couch, too, I would like to see her on something besides Shatner's Raw Nerve.)

I like Stamos, I respect Stamos, I enjoy looking at Stamos (much more now than when he was younger, age has been very good to him).

Stamos isn't the guy. Sorry.

In my dreams Lorre decides to go really dark, he hires Dino Stamatopoulos to create some really discomforting storylines about loneliness, isolation and fetishism for your new Charlie, comic Doug Stanhope (image right), because I've seen his act and he's not afraid of saying anything, an important attribute when a guy like Dino is writing for you.

Watch some of Stanhope's standup by clicking this or this or if you want a whole hour of him, this. He's very good at what he does though it's not for everyone.

I know that won't happen, it doesn't mean I can't think about how very disturbing and amazing it could be. 

Christian Slater would have been a good idea until he signed for another series (yes, another TV network has decided to give Slater a go in primetime and a comedy at that, I'm shocked too). It's a shame because he's a perfect plugin. I don't think Slater can open a series but I think he might be able to keep some of the viewers on an existing show happy.

You could go a completely different way and do this: Jake gets a girl pregnant, she tells him after the fact that she's a serial killer and then ... oh, sorry, that's Raising Hope.

Okay ... Jake still gets the girl preggers but ... oh, it's Rose. It's okay, Jake will be 18 when the show returns. Jake and Rose have a kid, a boy, and they are once again Two and a Half Men.

Rose gets a sex change? Berta gets pregnant?

How about you just bring back guest stars from seasons past Enrique Iglesias and Megan Fox and have them always doing it on Charlie's beachfront deck?

Whatever, it's just a show I watch occasionally with my dad. I like the kid a lot, though. If CBS wasn't CBS (meaning old skewing) I'd just spin off the kid and have Jon Cryer make the occasional guest appearance.

Or Jake could move into the building where Leonard and Sheldon live in Pasadena and be their stupid friend.

We'll see what happens.

Video -- That Katie Couric Funny Or Die Clip

Oh, whatever. Think she knows she's not getting a new deal? Does posting this make me a whore?

I have more questions, they're all variations on those above. I'm spare you.

Video -- Two and a Half Men's Jon Cryer, Today on Ellen

This is perfect. There is nothing to say about this. Bravo!

Hat tip to THR.

What's Sad About the Charlie Sheen/2.5 Men News Is ...

... that now that he doesn't have a job or a reason to show up somewhere not looking like he just sucked up a suitcase full of coke he's just gonna descend into junkiehood.

Not TV junkiehood. Actual junkiehood.

He has already destroyed his teeth, his sinuses and throat are next, and he looks haggard and drawn. And of course one wonders how many STDs he's picked up along the way.

What's also sad is him railing against Lorre for that vanity card he wrote a couple weeks ago. It was funny, a light moment in all this and now Sheen has decided to interpret it as an attack, which it wasn't. And he knows it. He also knows he wouldn't have all the coke and whore money without Lorre.

Lorre and Lee Aronsohn created for Sheen the perfect vehicle, built to withstand the wrath of his public behavior, surrounded him with some of the best players out there and as we found out from Dan Patrick's radio show, even blocked the show so that he had something to lean against on those wasted days. This is the guy Charlie is railing against, I think because he's the authority figure he feels most comfortable confronting. Certainly it would be career suicide to take on Nina Tassler, Nancy Tellem or Les Moonves.

BTW, Charlie's little "Haim Lorre" joke? Is it smart to diss Jewish people when you wanna work in the entertainment industry? Just sayin'.

If you'll remember, back before the show started no one wanted Charlie for a children's party entertainer let alone the star of a network sitcom. Spin City had died with Charlie in the lead, the only project of consequence after was Scary Movie 3 (which was an abomination to comedy and scary movies) and besides two uncredited appearances in the sequel to that film and then in the Wall Street sequel there's only one project that looks even slightly promising (and it's an indie and he's not the lead).

Who's gonna want to work with Charlie Sheen again? After this? Would you?

Video -- Letterman Preview w/ My Hero, Henry Aaron

Tonight after your late news on CBS. I wore his number in Little League.

Video -- Justin Bieber Dies ... on CSI

Go ahead, watch Bieber get gunned down. But know that in five years time he will be your global overlord and you'll be handing off your first born to him as a honorarium.

You think I'm kidding? Aw, that's just precious!

Video -- Annie Gilroy (from Lesbian Row) Last Night on @CraigyFerg with @CussingBunny

Annie has a very infectious laugh. And Sid is a really pervy but fluffy bunny who has invited Annie down from the not-so eponymous Lesbian Row. In fact, in the time that Lesbian Row has existed I don't think any of the four seats in the row have been sat in by actual lesbians, though a recent lesbian emailer to the show promised she intended to eventually show up. Fingers crossed!!!

(Note to lesbians who are not Craig fans ... it's all done with love and yes, there's a little bit of fun being had but not at the expense of lesbians ... CBS cares. One thing though, Annie apologizes to her mom on air when Craig later mentions her sitting in Lesbian Row. No one needs to apologize for being in Lesbian Row or soon-to-be-established Gay Aisle -- patent pending -- or whatever it will be called.)

Annie and Sid the Cussing Bunny when you click this.

Annie and Craig wrapping up the show when you click this.

Bonus clip, Chris Hardwick shows up for tweets & emails when you click this.

Thanks for the clips, Malinky.

Video -- Shatner on Craig Ferguson, His New Major Tom-Related Album

I don't feel like writing too much more today so here, just watch the clip. Click this and it'll pop up.

Funny stuff. Shatner is always a good time.

Doesn't comment on health care, though. I guess it's just Bieber talking #hcr today.

Video -- The Key Art That Lied: CBS' Mad Love Reminds Me of Everything

I was gonna let it go, I was just gonna pass, you know? And then I saw this, above.

Mad Love, a new CBS comedy, isn't a new kind of anything. Sorry Toby (I see you!) I just can't get with it and I enjoy the Sarah Chalke a lot, too.

The thing about the show is it seems like I've seen this before. I've seen Chalke fall for an insecure professional with mommy issues, I watched Scrubs and How I Met Your Mother and saw her do that there.

When I see her on screen with Jason Biggs I immediately reference Alyson Hannigan from their work on American Pie which then reminds me that I'm seen her on that show, too, and it's also a show about young New York professionals with nice apartments that fall in love.

TV execs, there are OTHER cities. Providence, Rhode Island, for example. Greensboro, Lexington, Santa Fe ... pick one, any one.

More than that, everything Tyler Labine does reminds me that he's Jack Black minus five charm points.

Who I really feel bad for here is the wonderful, wonderful, one more time wonderful Judy Greer, who once again graces a project that she is better than.

It gets three weeks. It had better do something, anything, to make me feel like it's something new and not the same ol' same ol'.

And despite it all I'm still gonna give you a clip, it's a behind the scenes thing with Biggs and Chalke, it's after the jumperoo.

This Horrible and Disturbing Lara Logan News, CBS Reporter Brutalized in Egypt

I'm just sickened by this news today that CBS News reporter Lara Logan suffered an horrendous ordeal during the Egypt protests.

From the CBS News website (complete text):

On Friday February 11, the day Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak stepped down, CBS correspondent Lara Logan was covering the jubilation in Tahrir Square for a "60 Minutes" story when she and her team and their security were surrounded by a dangerous element amidst the celebration. It was a mob of more than 200 people whipped into frenzy.

In the crush of the mob, she was separated from her crew. She was surrounded and suffered a brutal and sustained sexual assault and beating before being saved by a group of women and an estimated 20 Egyptian soldiers. She reconnected with the CBS team, returned to her hotel and returned to the United States on the first flight the next morning. She is currently in the hospital recovering.

There will be no further comment from CBS News and Correspondent Logan and her family respectfully request privacy at this time.

I've always been a fan (see my previous posts on her) and I was just sickened reading this. I wish her and her loved ones the peace they request and all good things.

Charlie Sheen Gone Wild: Calls Dan Patrick Radio, Trashes Producers & Show Hiatus

He's heading toward losing his big money gig if he doesn't shut up and do what he needs to do. This TMZ story, I predict, is the beginning of the end:

A raspy -sounding Charlie called in to The Dan Patrick Show this morning and explained he lost his voice because he tried to go back to work ... and was yelling and banging on the stage door ... but nobody was there.

Sheen explained, "[The execs] said 'You get ready and we'll get ready' ... and I got ready and went back and nobody was there ... I don't know what to tell ya."

Charlie knows that the show is in hiatus until Feb. 28. He also knows he's supposed to be rehabbing right now and he doesn't want to do that. Chuck Lorre and the CBS brass have been really solidly behind him until now, and I'm pretty sure that's gonna end now. People who are trying to help don't love it when the person they're trying to help make them look bad.

Listen to the audio by clicking this link. I'm not saying he's high as he talks to Dan Patrick but he's talking a mile a minute and not making any sense at all. From what he says on the call it seems I know more about the Two and a Half Men shooting schedule than he does. Of course I read TV news online and Charlie apparently reviews audition video of his next paid sex partner.

Look for CBS to begin pulling back support for Charlie starting today.

I would hope someone who cares about this guy steps up and saves him from himself but there's just so much anyone can do.

In other news, he's officially divorced from Brooke Mueller today. With the day off, I'm sure Charlie will find a way to fill his hours. I hear Joanna Angel is in town (link NSFW).

Video -- Katie Couric and Glee's Chris Colfer

I got nothing else, I just thought there might be someone who wanted to see this clip Katie tweeted.

Watch some behind the scenes stuff from tomorrow's post Super Bowl ep of Glee (I'll just never understand the thinking behind that) with Katie in another clip after the jump.

I can't get more excited about this. No, seriously, I can't get more excited. I can't.

"Exclusive" My Ass! News Outlets, WTF?

If your interviews this AM were so frickin' exclusive, what about this ...

this ...

and this (though the clip embed doesn't seem to be working, but trust me, they had Hillary in the same suit saying the same things) ...

or this?

Huh? And don't even get me started on "breaking news."

Presenting the Evidence --- Late Night Talk Show Or Portal to Another Place and Time

That's the question. Are we looking at the set of a late night talk show? Or  did cameras catch a rare moment when a portal opened into another dimension, a dimension where Lisa Kurdrow always gets a chroma-blue background and chyron?

I'm just sayin'.

A ha! I think I know what's going on now. It's all starting to make sense.

Video -- The Lost @CraigyFerg Doctor Who Number, Now Found!

Enjoy it! Watch till the end or you'll miss The Doctor.

Video -- Craig Ferguson, Matt Smith, a Dalek and Chris Hardwick Walk into a Tardis ...

... and I don't have the end of that joke, but if you do leave it in the comments.

My favorite moment? Hardwick's bigger on the inside joke.

Previously ... I complain about UK stars never doing press in the US (link). Now what will I complain about? Oh don't you worry, I'll find something.

One note: What's with male guests on the show doing a pelvic thrust action during the Secretariat dance? It's not about sexytime it's about the joy of Secretariat, no thrusting required.

Selleck got it right.

Video -- Did Craig Ferguson Give a Reach Around to a Dalek on National TV?

I dunno, you be the judge. Craig and Matt Smith (Doctor 11) on the show with Chris Hardwick and of course the dalek will be back for ... third base? What is third base when you're a dalek? After Letterman on CBS.

Video -- Will the Average CBS Viewer Live to Dance with Paul Abdul?

Actually, a better question, considering the average age of the CBS viewer is "Will the average CBS viewer live?"

I just thought you'd wanna know that she's on her way. Coming this January, in fact.

It seems like the wrong show for CBS though, doesn't it? Unless they can get some polka dancers from The Lawrence Welk Show cast I can't imagine how this show works for CBS' older viewers.

I know they'd like to have a new unscripted franchise, something in the competition category, but I just can't believe this is that show.

Video -- Sexytime With @CraigyFerg and The Good Guys' Jenny Wade

I've highlighted the image above to show you that it was the moment at the beginning of this interview when The Good Guys star Jenny Wade explained to Craig that she had seen other women on late night talk shows wearing dresses so short that when they cross their legs in that way their dresses ride up and show a great deal of thigh.

Craig did not understand the problem with that.

I, of course, immediately thought of women on late night talk shows wearing dresses so short that when they cross their legs in the OTHER way they tend to flash what's between their legs. And then of course I thought of ... okay, everybody now ... Jennifer Aniston.

But you knew it would be sexytime when Jenny Wade walked out from backstage. She was wearing this shiny skimpy top that you can see above, but when she walks in it (watch the clip, it's after the jump) it moves in such a way that it's all boobies comin' atcha, shiny boobies and ... well, just watch Craig's face.

You've probably just watched this week's ep of Jenny's show, now watch her flirt shamelessly with his chattiness, she seems to know exactly what to say to get his motor running.

And then, BONUS!, Craig with his pal Drew Carey from last night as well. After the jumperoni. Yes, see the incredible shrinking host of The Price is Right.

Tonight on the show join Craig when he makes the boss' wife, Julie Chen (The Chenbot!) turn red.

NPR Audio -- The Big Bang Theory's Jim Parsons Interviewed by David Bianculli

This is the Jim Parsons interview that you have been wanting to hear, just click here.

You can look at the picture of him while you listen if you like but his mouth won't move, it's radio. No, really, it won't.

Tonight on Craig Ferguson, The Cast of The Big Bang Theory (or at least the guys)

Kaley Cuoco, as you might have heard, took a dive off of a horse or a Ford Mustang (something equine) and is recovering.

The rest of them will be with Craig tonight starting on their set and then they get to be held prisoner in the dark, leaky confines of Craig's studio with Geoff and the row of seats reserved for lesbians and hopefully Sid the bunny rabbit will show up to scream FUCK at someone.

Watch some of Craig's cold opening in a clip after the jump.

The show is one of three that you might wanna catch tomorrow night at 8 pm. What to do, what do to?

Thank You Tim Gunn For Slaying Dragons! First Anna Wintour, Now "Sad & Pathetic" Taylor Momsen

First Tim had his say on Anna Wintour (see the Daily Show interview with that exchange by clicking here) and now news from E! (via TV Squad) that during a recent guest stint on Gossip Girl Tim had some advice for Taylor Momsen:

A few weeks back, Gunn, who's making the rounds at Fashion Week to tout his new book, Gunn's Golden Rules: Life's Little Lessons for Making It Work, shot a guest spot as himself on the fourth episode of this season's Gossip Girl. And he found Momsen to be "sad" and pathetic."

"What a diva!" he told E! News of the 17-year-old. "She was pathetic, she couldn't remember her lines, and she didn't even have that many. I thought to myself 'why are we all being held hostage by this brat?"

Gunn said he is all about taking the high road, but that if he was a show regular, he'd take her aside in her dressing room and give her a good talking to.

The main problem, he says, was her constant BlackBerry use.

"I'd say, 'You know young lady, there are hundreds of thousands of girls who are just as attractive and even smarter than you. Why are you acting like this show is a huge burden on you?' She was on her phone during every break, I wanted to tell her, 'If you weren't on your BlackBerry, you can retain this stuff.' ''

And he had some remarks for some alleged "real" housewives, but don't we all.

Ugh, Andy Cohen, look what you did. LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!!

Tim's most recent appearance with Aquaman (from The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson) can be seen by clicking this link. I'm pretty sure he has nothing but kind words for the superhero.

Video -- What's Up With Emmy Winner Jim Parsons' Weight?

He looked elfin.

No, not effin', elfin. He's lost a bunch of weight, it seems.

Jim, stop it. Eat something. There are plenty of great restaurants near the Warner Bros. lot and even the commissary has some decent faire.

If this is about worrying that your show is entering the heated 8 pm Thursdays network competition it's just not worth the worry.

Recap season three of the show with a clip at this link.

Watch Jim accept his statue at this link.

Does Twice Make It a Trend? Coming to Cable: Who the &!*$/ Did I Marry

So here's my idea, first you turn on CBS for $#*! My Dad Says and then have an episode of Who the &!*$/ Did I Marry on the DVR afterward and there's your night of TV.

Or, after that you could have a copy of this movie on the shelf on a DVD and watch that as well. 

About this show, however, from Media Life:

Investigation Discovery’s new series “Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?” shows that no matter how much TV has changed in recent years, the true-crime semi-documentary remains the same after more than two decades. The premiere episode, airing tonight at 10 p.m., features a decent victim and villain, but most viewers will feel a distinct sense of déjà vu.

If they would have spent a tenth of the time they did on the title making the show better ... right?

You can check their site for the show at this link. It's not my thing. 

Since it's a cable show on a tiny network (sorry I.D., but you are a tiny network) you won't hear any outcry from the so-called protectors of our culture, but they are gearing up for protesting Shatner's Shat show.

Letterman Video -- Rachel Maddow Explains Breitbart v. Sherrod to Dave (and you)

You know I love it when my worlds collide. Maddow on Letterman (although I don't catch Dave every night anymore, something has to be sacrificed when presented with so many great cable series to watch on DVR) is an example of that.

If you've not been keeping up with the story of Shirley Sherrod, the former Dept. of Agriculture officer who was screwed over by the creative video editing of Drudge protege Andrew Breitbart (yes, she's suing, more on that at this link) and the knee-jerk reaction of idiots in the Obama administration (that's right Tom Vilsack, I'm talkin' to you), this should catch you up.

Click here for the clip.

Rubicon's Dallas Roberts Cast as Gay Brother in CBS' The Good Wife

I know what you're saying ... Dallas Roberts is that sad guy Miles Fielder from Rubicon that can't seem to go home to his wife and kids because of the unrest he says could have been avoided in Nigeria.

Well, I know. And he's being cast as Alicia's gay brother on this show, too. And though CBS said they were adding gay characters they didn't say how often they'd appear. Apparently at this point the plan is to have him guest star at least once, then work out a way for him to recur, and then I guess see how it works out.

Like I said, I don't like the idea of just plugging gay people into an existing story to satisfy a media watchdog, even the media watchdog watching out for me, unless it's organic to the story any more than I like the idea of leaving gay people out of stories on TV. I wrote about that at this link.

You know what else I don't like? Why does it seem you have to have a job acting on TV to get a job acting on TV? How about some new people and not the same old people getting plugged into shows time after time. Like, for example, Alex O'Loughlin ... three leads in three network series in three years that didn't hit ... why not give someone else a chance?

Or Christian Slater ... how long before someone figures out the shows weren't that bad, people just didn't care to see Slater in them?

More from TVGuide.com at this link.

Previously Roberts played gay and got to make out with Colin Farrell (lucky). More about that from Farrell's perspective at this Towleroad link.

The Only "Fearless" Craig Ferguson Shark Week Clip You'll See Online Today

I think, because I've been looking now for days and this quick talk with the Chenbot. You know, Julie, she of the CBS Early Show (yes, they still do that show every morning while you're ... doing other things).

Watch it by clicking this link. Thanks to a certain someone and their TV's Craig Ferguson YouTube account. Thanks, Malinky.

There's just the one other clip at the Discovery Channel site (LINK) with Craig in it, the one where he's talking to Fallon on the phone, but no embed codes. You would think a tech savvy place like Discovery would get the advantage of their clips being seen around the web.

You would think.

Tomorrow night Craig dives with experts and looks sharks in the eye at 10pm eastern, on ...

SHARK BITES: ADVENTURES IN SHARK WEEK

Premiering Wednesday, August 4, 10PM e/p

Late, Late Show Host, CRAIG FERGUSON has always loved SHARK WEEK. But when he gets the chance to get off the couch and be in the show, he gets in way over his head. Discovery wants him go to the Bahamas to swim with, touch, and, if he has the guts, FEED sharks. And Ferguson starts to have second thoughts about getting close to the apex predators of the sea. Especially since he will not have the protection of a cage. Everything Ferguson sees and experiences reminds him of what he has learned from watching the Discovery Channel. Woven into Ferguson's journey are clips from the scariest, most exciting moments of the last 20 years of SHARK WEEK. The results are funny, scary, and ultimately very moving. Terrified of getting in the water and too proud not to, Ferguson makes the leap into an ocean full of hungry sharks.

Man, someone at Discovery.com really wanted to make Craig sound like a pussy, screengrab above right notwithstanding. Probably just one of those damned online writer/editor scumbags ... hey, wait a minute!

One other thing ... you know how CBS had kind of embraced the whole "Chenbot" meme for a bit? Never any mention of of the -bot suffix when Julie's around Geoff Peterson, strangely. You would think there would be.

You would think.

Craig Ferguson Blows Our Minds (without even mentioning a car that runs on water)

You think it's just an interview with the former star of 24 Mary Lynn Rajskub and the hair extensions that may or may not match her natural hair, right? Then he totally blows your mind with this (click here).

Totally freaked me out!

Watch the whole interview by clicking this. You tell me, are we actually watching Craig on TV or are we keyed into his delusion so closely that we can't tell if it's real or ... is it the Matrix?

I think we all did too many drugs in our youths, maybe.

Blogger Gets Three Word Tweet From Censorship Group, Holds Them to It

The blogger is me. The tweet is above. It's from the Parents Television Council and it's about CBS' move yesterday to add gay and lesbian characters to some prime time shows in order to boost its rating with the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD.org).

Not that I love the idea of a corporation telling a writer to just plug in some gays. It's a little condescending for one. Additionally the best characters are those that come out of the organic creation process so I'm not hopeful that these characters will have legs on these shows.

For the record, so far I've only heard that The Good Wife will add a gay brother for lead Alicia Florick, played by Julianna Margulies and that there will be a gay character added to Bleep My Dad Says (I'm not about to try to figure out which punctuation to use instead of Bleep so you're getting Bleep) and the aforementioned lesbian added to Rules of Engagement (who as I said should be played by Tammy Lynn Michaels).

Still it's progress, I guess. And yesterday I said as much while speculating that the PTC would offer some blowback on this, but according to the tweet above from the group they say they won't.

I'm holding them to it, of course.

And now that they and their Director of Public Policy Dan Isett are following me on Twitter (and visa versa) I'll be keeping my eye on them.

And it's interesting to be on their radar. Finally. Should do wonders for me webstats.

More on CBS' Gay Problem ... And the Coming Backlash from PTC

A couple more things gleaned from the web this AM from the CBS TCA presentation and Nina Tassler's remarks in response to the network's poor showing in the recent GLAAD survey of prime time.

(File photo, btw.)

Live Feed at THR.com:

Addressing reporters at the semi-annual Television Critics Association press tour, Tassler said a gay character will be added to new comedy "$#*! My Dad Says," returning comedy "Rules of Engagement" and legal drama "The Good Wife."

"We're disappointed in our track record so far," Tassler said. "We're going to do it. We're not happy with ourselves."

Well, what I'm not happy with is injecting gay characters into a show just to have more gay characters. It's not organic to the show's creation and the characters end up being less than three dimensional.

How about seeking out writers who have interesting ideas for shows that include gay characters ahead of time? That seems like a better idea in every direction.

Of course there's always this grand scheme ... hire some out gay writers that will write gay characters. 

Another thing, the downside of making this grand gesture (which is also just a little condescending, Nina) is that the network raises the hackles of the Parents Television Council (which as I said, am saying and will always say is not a parents' group but a religious group in disguise) who are gonna start screaming Gay Agenda all over the place.

An organic process would bypass all that hate from them.

For the record, I hardly ever complain about religious people being depicted on TV. I kinda liked 7th Heaven (though I'll admit that I spent a lot of time just swooning over Stephen Collins, who, btw, is really funny in his appearances on It's Always Sunny ... on FX if you get the chance to catch him there.

Tweets From the Press Tour/CBS Edition: Let's Add a Lesbian to Rules of Engagement

Well this certainly caught my eye. New York Magazine's Vulture blog Twitter account from the Television Critics Assn. tour stop with "the Tiffany Network":

CBS: We're not happy with lack of diversity in primetime shows. To help fix, a lesbian character is being added to Rules of Engagement.

To which I immediately countered (in my head), "Great, another woman on the show that won't have sex with Russell."

David Spade plays Russell. Almost all the women on the show fit that category.

Now I'm sure there will be pressure to cast some hot young thing as some straight guy's idea of what a lesbian looks or acts like, but if they are really interested in doing this right and doing it smart, there's only one woman to hire here, and she needs a job and is more than able to handle the comedy and still look great on air.

Her name is Tammy Lynn Michaels, she's been going by Etheridge for a while but that's over and she's funny and attractive and motivated to work.

Call her agent, get a reference from Ryan Murphy (from her days on the wildly hilarious Popular, check this clip - LINK - if you need to remember that she did the Madonna Vogue thing before Sue Sylvester), pay her rate and get her working.

Bonus! Gay people have someone right there on set to tamp down on the Russell lesbian jokes. Extra bonus! CBS not only adds a lesbian character but an actual lesbian comedic actress playing her.

You're welcome, Nina Tassler.

Baby News, Craig and Megan Ferguson Expecting

You can look at the tweet yourself by clicking here or just look below. And congrats to the Fergusons.

Contrary to popular belief, the baby will not be Australian. Or a fluffy bunny from South London named Sid.

Catch Craig tonight for more. You should be catching Craig every night, btw. He is all that matters in network late night.

I'm expecting, too, though what I'm expecting is chicken. Or at least the promise of chicken.

Video -- Jane Adams From Hung Just Can Seem to Stop Talking About ...

... you know ... big penises.

Don't shoot the messenger, I didn't take a role as a pimp to a endowed Detroit gym coach AND then visit her friend Craig (who claims to be same, in fact he's doing so in the image above!) on his talk show to talk about what sounded suspiciously like a date (right?) and then continue to talk about penises. 

Still it was fun to watch. Click here for it.

Video -- Hot In Cleveland Star Valerie Bertinelli with Craig Ferguson

Ah yes, worlds colliding again. Love that!

Just sit back, relax, and click this link. I haven't posted a Craig clip in a while, not that I'm not watching every episode, I just ... well, I've been lazy.

Enjoy. 

Catch a preview of tonight's episode of Hot in Cleveland by clicking here. At 10 pm eastern on TV Land.

Video -- Katie Couric to MSG's FanCam: "It's Called a Gleek. Do Your Homework, Dude!"

Katie schools MSG's Alex Iglesias, and, impressively, looks like she's standing in line to get in like everyone else, not getting the VIP side door treatment of making that call to whoever to get special access.

Of course I don't know that for sure but I don't think the guy (Alex) from MSG gets to interview at the VIP entrance to Radio City Music Hall.

Also in this clip, a guy who really needs to learn the lyrics to Lean On Me, which he butchers. Dude, they're right here (LINK). I even found you the Glee cast version lyrics.

See the press images for tonight's first season finale, Journey, after the jump.

Click here for a preview, here for cast reaction to shooting the season ender.