I Am A TV Junkie

Video -- Nick Offerman Has Wood on VH1's Big Morning Buzz Live

Okay, it's a little early for Snake Juice, I guess. Isn't it after 5 pm somewhere?

Anyway, Carrie loves a guy who knows what to do with his wood, and Nick's that guy. When he's not making you laugh on Parks and Recreation he's building stuff. When Megan (Mullally, his wife) was appearing on Broadway last year he made some canoes that are being sold viewable along with the building process at this link and he has plenty of projects on display at his own woodworking site at this link.

And the interview with Carrie from this morning is posted after the jump. Enjoy it.

And no, I won't be posting clips from Big Morning Buzz Live every day just because a friend of my hosts the show.

Every other day? Maybe.

UPDATED: Video -- Your Mornings, Only Hotter, Blonder and Buzzier on VH1

UPDATE: I just got an email that asked, "Sure, but did you LIKE the show?" Well of course I liked the show, it's right in my wheelhouse and it's hosted by someone I like a lot. It did however prompt me to look over what I wrote last night. I was maybe having too much fun proving to you I'm clever and not enough time explaining myself. Sorry.

Here's a funny story ... I'm watching VH1's Big Morning Buzz Live yesterday as my friend Carrie Keagan is hosting and as you do you watch your friends on TV, right? Right.

So, she's interviewing Ellie Kemper and Wendy McClendon-Covey from Bridesmaids (watch their Red Band Trailer at this link) and I'm thinking during the intro "Wow it would be great if they cut to that clip of Carrie on Reno 911 where Wendy was charged with handcuffing her. Oh, they probably don't even know Carrie was on ..."

And then they cut to the clip of Carrie on Reno 911 where Wendy was charged with handcuffing her.

Okay, one point for the producers and staff of BMBL. May you continue to surprise me. Watch that clip right here.

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

Then this morning Carrie had a couple of music guys on to talk about what will be the hit of the Summer. Just the other day I posted what I think will be that song (Nicki Minaj's Super Bass, watch it at this link), which, surprisingly, was Carrie's choice, too.

It's like I'm sitting in my house playing a video game called EA Pop Culture Talk Show 2011. 

So why should you watch this show? Besides the fact that they employ someone I like?

1. At 9 am the Today Show reruns all the stories they did in the 7 am hour.
2. Carrie is much more attractive than The 700 Club hosts.
3. Rachael Ray's voice has been described as irritating, annoying and caustic like drain cleaner.
4. Lately Regis has been forgetting to pull the pants back up after bathroom breaks.
5. Those judge shows are carcinogenic. Seriously.
6. Those doctors on The Doctors? Too busy figuring out why judge shows are carcinogenic.
7. Maury Povich is the real dad of all those kids.
8. Dr. Oz's Special Moles and Fungus Countdown.
9. I've seen The View and it's not picturesque.
10. The subliminal secret Communist messages embeded in PBS/WGBH's Super WHY.

Watch today's episode in it's entirety, I've posted it after the jump. Raphael Saadiq and Paul Bettany, who looks better than ever, btw. The show airs weekdays for an hour starting at 9:30 eastern on VH1.

And as soon as I can get my act together I'll have a five questions feature with Carrie. She's been very patient. Thanks, C.

Video -- No Good Television & the Stars of Scream 4 & BIGGEST SPOILER EVER

 

It's your gal Carrie Keagan with what is for my eyes a new hairstyle, and ... Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Anthony Anderson, Adam Brody, Hayden Panettiere, Neve Campbell, Emma Roberts, and director Wes Craven all saying very naughty things about the fourth stanza in the Scream saga.

Spoiler alert: Ghostface comes out of the closet in this one. Think I'm kidding? Watch the clip.

Hayden really gets into dropping the F-bombs, a NGTV hallmark, and Courteney wants to take the whole "red band junket" thing and her filthy mouth to CNN, which would certainly put some curl in Anderson Cooper's hair.

Great stuff here from Carrie and the cast, trailer for the film after the jump. It opens on April 15.

Hot Blonde Seeks Your Attention For An Hour Each Weekday, No Strings

Sounds good, huh? Well you can't touch you can only look and listen. I oughta smack you for what you're thinking, wayward straight guy who's clicked over inadvertantly to one of the gayer TV blogs.

She's my pal Carrie Keagan. No, you can't have her number. You can watch her on VH1 every weekday morning at 10 am, though. She'll fill you in on cool stuff in music, on TV and at the movies and have some fun with the people who make that stuff.

Regulars here know Carrie from her work for No Good Television (like, f'rinstance, her sitdown with the stars of Tron: Legacy which you can watch by clicking this link). She's also a member of the Broadcast Film Critics Assn. and her experience in the music industry just about qualifies her as a hotter, blonder more female Ken Tucker from Entertainment Weekly.

And with a much bigger rack. Ken's boobies just don't compare. Sorry Ken.

3 dots -- Other women I love

As I format this post I'm watching the end of the Bette Midler HBO Special The Showgirl Must Go On. Maybe Bette has lost a half a step over the years but it certainly doesn't bother me. I wasn't tuning in for the swift stage crosses and footwork anyway. In fact I don't even expect her to sing the hits in the keys they were written in as long as there's some heart behind it, and that's one thing Ms. M has in spades. Great show, you gotta love her ... Coming this Saturday night to BBC America is an episode of Graham Norton with guests Cher and Dawn French, both of whom have considerable gay fan bases worldwide, preview clips by clicking here and here ... I was particularly distressed about a couple of omissions from the Golden Globes and SAG awards for outstanding performance by an actress in a drama. No Bones star Emily Deschanel? Are they high? And what of Anna Torv's dual role on this year's Fringe? Watch these very strong eps from this season (Bones here) (Fringe here) and see for yourself.

Can't miss Monday TV

A new season of Triple D? I'm so in. Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives on the Food Network returns tomorrow at 9 eastern on the Food Network and fans of the show in the Sacramento area should be on notice that your fave haunts will be featured, including the Golden Bear (their website here). Monday's episode also marks what I believe is the first appearance of tofu (yes, tofu) that I've seen. I'm skeptical, but I'll be tuning in.

See you tomorrow.

Video -- Your Rock Fantasies (and some others, right @CarrieKeagan?) Tomorrow Night on VH1

Yeah, that's Carrie Keagan (yes, AGAIN!) up above with Michael Rosenfield, member of the band Every Living Soul and one of the producers of this series along with Exec Prod Mark Burnett. Yes, I was invited to this party and no, I didn't show up because LA is just so far away for a night out now that I moved to San Diego.

But my younger self, the one that run out to Palm Springs for a "date?" Would have totally been there. Okay, I'm old. Not ready to be sent out to pasture yet but old. Old as in "Wow, this chair feels so good against my ass I'm staying here but not forever 'cuz I still bore easily" old.

This isn't just some thrown together unscripted show for VH1, this thing actually exists outside the box we call TV and you can click here and see how you can participate in a future event.

NY Daily News:

In this simple and brilliant concept, former professional players become "counselors" to the civilians who pay their money partly to get good advice and partly to rub shoulders with the stars of their growing-up years.

The way rock fantasy camps have evolved, that mostly means hard rock and metal stars. The campers here are divided into three five-person bands,and their main mentors are Kip Winger of Winger, Rudy Sarzo of Quiet Riot and Mark Hudson, who is best known for working with Ozzy Osbourne and Aerosmith.

Watch the clip, it's after the jump. Show premieres tomorrow, Saturday night, at 10 pm on VH1. Show site at this link.

NGTV Talks To the The Social Network's Aaron Sorkin, Jesse Eisenberg, Armie Hammer, Andrew Garfield

And they all have dirty filthy disgusting mouths, too, even Kathie Lee's good close personal friend Hammer (great grandson of Armand Hammer).

Watch them talk to Carrie Keagan (yeah, again with the Carrie Keagan, you gotta problem with that?) after the jump.

Also after the jump I've posted the Myspace live webcast interview with Eisenberg, Garfield and Justin Timberlake done by Olivia Munn, who often these days take time off from her job at Attack of the Show and the person who fills in is ...

... Carrie Keagan. See how it all comes around? See what I did there?

And one more thing, the Justin clip from SNL this week (because ... you know, the whole threes thing).

Clips post jump.

Video -- Have No Fear, Carrie Keagan as Power Girl is Here

Never let it be said that I didn't give you every opportunity to fall madly in love with my girlfriend Carrie Keagan.

Two episodes of Power Girl after the jumperoo. In the first, Power Girl thinks she can eat a raw turkey. In the second, she's pretty sure Kevin Bacon is ... made of bacon.

Mmmmm, bacon. Surprisingly Jim Gaffigan is not even IN this sketch.

From G4TV, where geeks get to look at pretty girls with big boobies.

Video -- Carrie Keagan on HLN's Behar Show Discussing Christine O'Donnell

Look, it's my friend Carrie, in NYC, on Joy Behar's show, talking about politics. Love that!!! Sorry it's blurry, it's a screengrab from online video.

She's talkin' Christine O'Donnell of course, the most fun political story of the moment. And the other woman on the panel with her, Judge Karen from the court show, has all the facts about how O'Donnell pays her rent with campaign contributions, what she's said in the past, what she's likely to do in the future if elected.

Of course, she won't be elected, so that's not really a worry. Still, if you're in Delaware get out and vote for her opponent anyway.

The clip's after the jump. Look Carrie, you're on Headline News! So versatile, you should host your own show.

Her online home is No Good Television, visit her there. I do.

Easy A Star Emma Stone: "Thank You, Carrie Keagan, For Feeling Me Up!"

Hey, Carrie (image below right) had to convince you that Emma's breasts felt like cake. How do you know unless some media watchdog checks these things out for you?

That's right, No Good Television is a fact checking organization that hires a hot blonde with big boobs to feel up the starlets of Hollywood to figure out how much those breasts feel like ... cake.

I'm now totally in love with Emma Stone. You know, in a GBF (gay best friend) kinda way.

And I'm in love with Stanley Tucci, but in a different, more prurient way. Always have been, there's just something about Tucci. Penn Badgley? He's okay and young and hot and all but Tucci is ... well he's Stanley Tucci after all.

I would love to post this clip here for you but a can't. Still it's just a click away and here's the link.

Later in the clip from the screengrab above a jar of honey comes out. Carrie, Emma, and honey.

Hey, it's Friday. No one's doing anything at the office anyway, you might as well just click over and live in No Good World for a while.

Easy A, the movie they're all talkin' about, opens today. Go! Watch the trailer by clicking this link.

BTW, Carrie will be on Headline News' Joy Behar Show this coming Wednesday, and I'll remind you of that next week.

And another Carrie surprise, she's hosting a new show for VH1 Classic called Rock 'n' Roll Fantasy Camp from Mark Burnett starting October 16. Read the press release by clicking over the jumperoo.

Because You Demanded It, Carrie Keagan Back at Attack of the Show Today on G4

Carrie returns today at 7 eastern tonight on G4 for another go-round on Attack of the Show with host Kevin Pereira.

Maybe, like last time, she'll make bouncy-bouncy just for you! She's good like that.

More behind the scenes stills from her last appearance after the jumperoo.

Want some Carrie right now? Click over to her web home at No Good Television and watch this interview with Bruce Greenwood from Dinner For Schmucks (which I saw last night, very very funny movie) where he's promoting his new film Mao's Last Dancer and talking weed with our girl Carrie.

And more bouncy-bouncy from Carrie as well.

At this link. No embed codes, you'll click to a new window/tab.

Pics after the jump.

No Good TV Video -- Will Ferrell Suggests You Remove Items From Your Ass (and get to the movies)

Actually, what he says to Carrie Keagan is, "Please, just get that dick outta your butt." I think he just wants to make sure it's not in there while you're driving to the theater to see The Other Guys, which opens Friday.

Watch Will and Mark and Eva Mendes (sex tape star) and Carrie by clicking here. More Carrie and Shark Firestone at No Good Television (NGTV.com) at this link.

Seriously, do not drive while engaging in anal sex. In fact, anal in a car probably isn't a good idea at all. Preferred: Rooms that are near hot running water, condoms, appropriate lubrication, towels, and maybe an instructional video for the newbies.

No link to the aforementioned instructional video. You're on your own there.

Funny Or Die Video -- Emma Stone Shows You a New KILLER iPhone App

Watch it by clicking this. No, not this, this is the GQ.com profile of Emma with very hot AND FUNNY pics.

This (LINK) is what you wanna click.

Not this link, that's the link to watch the trailer for Easy A, Emma's new film co-starring the now retired Amanda Bynes and Lisa Kudrow.

And not this link, either, which will open a clip of Emma with my pal Carrie Keagan from No Good Television.

Just so we have that straight. Okay, then.

Video -- The A-Team Movie Opens Today, Jessica Biel's Outrageous NGTV Moment

Yeah, Jess, but if it really was I'd be standing in line right now to see what happens when Bradley Cooper and Liam Neeson get to the activity in question.

So, no cock-knocking, I don't think, but watch Jess, Liam, Brad, Sharlto Copley & Quinton "Rampage" Jackson tell NGTV's Carrie Keagan about their new one, opening today at theatres everywhere.

Just click this.

And, Carrie's VH1 Classic series One Hit Wonders, season two, is still running on cable, so check that out.

Video Top 5 -- Loud & Soft, #Castle Cast at Paley, Matt Smith pre-#DoctorWho, #NurseJackie Commentary, @CarrieKeagan Hot Tubbing

Ernie likes to sing loud, Bert likes to sing soft (LINK)

From the Paley Center for Media in Los Angeles, the cast of Castle walks the red carpet and answer some questions inside, watch for my favorite celeb party companion Susan Sullivan (LINK)

Before your Doctor Who Matt Smith debut, watch some of him in action from Ruby In The Smoke from BBC/PBS with the lovely Billie Piper as Sally Lockhart (LINK)

Nurse Jackie producers Liz Brixius and Linda Wallem discuss the beginning of season two and how Jackie is sometimes their hero, even when she's telling a child to shut the f*ck up (LINK)

No Good Television's Carrie Keagan and the cast of Hot Tub Time Machine? Only thing better than Carrie talking about a hot tub is Carrie in a hot tub. Cusack, Robinson, Corddry, Duke ... and Carrie. I can't get the YouTube embed to work, but here's a link to NGTV.com's version (LINK)

Tonight, #VH1 Classic One Hit Wonders Returns With the Ever-Adorable @CarrieKeagan

So adorable that I haven't cut Carrie off for appearing on Red Eye on the Fox Noise Channel, so you know she's just like a cargo ship full o'fluffy bunnies.

Of course, heterosexuals nationwide call her hot, smokin', wankworthy ... Playboy called her the Babe of the Month ... bangin', luscious, heavenly ... that blonde hottie with the great rack ... 

... but I just call her my friend ...

... my friend that's on TV tonight at 8 eastern and then again at 11:30 eastern, just in case you miss the first airing.

(And you might have, since I'm posting this after 8 eastern. Sorry, dinner was ready early.)

Wanna see one of the clips she'll play tonight ahead of time? Want it to be a video of a white rapper and Calvin Klein underwear model who now disappoints film critics on a regular basis?

Click here and watch the man who was once Marky Mark and then check out Carrie (also spankworthy, but I prefer Mr. Wahlberg for that) tonight on VH1 Classic, that channel you go by on the way to soft core porn on Cinemax.

Watch Carrie from her home base, the No Good World that is No Good Television, talk to the stars of the Kevin Smith-directed Cop Out (now in theatres) by clicking here.

And go visit AllThingsCarrie.com for ... (all together now) ... all things Carrie.

Finally, as you can see (because you have eyes) Carrie and Shark Firestone from NGTV have both posed for Adam Bouska's NOH8 campaign raising awareness about how people like me (gay) don't have the same civil rights as people like them (straight) and our efforts to correct that.

More on photographer Adam Bouska at his site at this link. More on supporting the drive to repeal California's Proposition 8 at this link.

Thanks, Carrie. Thanks, Shark.

Video -- Caprica Tonight, Watch "Zoe" Get Down & Dirty With My No Good Friends

That's her above with my no good friends from No Good Television. You will never see an interview with Alessandra Torresani like this one, trust me. It's at this link (no embed codes, link will take you to a new NGTV window).

Man I miss being close enough to LA that I can run up there andbe in the room for stuff like this, not just to meet and get a couple questions in directed at the day's special guest but to hang with Carrie and Shark and The Big K and the remarkable Trevor Blackwood, among others.

(I make remarks about Trevor all the time, they might not always be nice -- sometimes they can be incredibly nasty, in a good way -- but they're plentiful.)

Of course, the hotly-anticipated second episode of the series airs tonight at 10 eastern on Syfy, watch a clip by clicking right here.

When we las (kind of) saw Zoe she was trapped inside a prototype Cylon body and calling her girlfriend Lacy on the phone with an SOS. Can't wait to see what goes on from there.

Video -- NGTV's Carrie Keagan With Avatar's Creator & Stars; Cameron, Worthington, Saldana, Lang

One note on Pandora from Avatar creator James Cameron, "Your balls are always blue in Pandora."

From what I've heard, he's apparently right.

And watch this clip (it's below, you have no reason not to, you don't even have to click over a jump) to hear Sam Worthington try and speak Na'vi. It doesn't go maybe as he planned but it turns out really well for the No Good Television crew, it's right up their alley.

No, no, no ... don't make ... up your alley joke ...

Oh, it's so hard not to! Hehehe I said it was hard.

I have absolutely no self-control.

Ridiculous Abstinent Vampires Rule Box Office Again -- See NGTV's New Moon Special Part II

This one includes Michael Sheen (below right), a personal fave, talking about assless chaps, a discussion I'm always up for, especially considering all those years Sheen played football (soccer for us Yanks, of course).

Next film, Sheen, I want you in them.

 

It's a shame that I can't stomach the whole idea of these vampires that have feelings and don't have sex, because I really love some of the supporting players here: Fanning, Sheen and Cameron Bright (remember him from the season four opener of The 4400, The Wrath of Graham? He was Graham).

But c'mon, abstinent vampires? That's like a comb without teeth, a camera without a lens, a TV without a remote. Practically useless.

Carrie asks the wolfpack why they have no babes in tow ... do you think it might be because their doggie style is man on man? Hmmm.

Still no embedding from No Good Television during their conversion to a new streaming technology, but here's the link (LINK) and you must stay tuned till the end for the most blasphemous thing I've ever heard said in an episode of Carrie Keagan's Up Close series, spewed forth by director Chris Weitz.

It's right at the end, you gotta watch the whole thing. It almost counterbalances the abstinence thing.

I said almost.

And another thing ... check out Weitz's arm and chest hair. I think he's a real life werewolf. I think TMZ should check up on that.

It's once again the number one film worldwide. Let me just say this to my gays who are into this drivel ...  if Stephenie Meyer uses any of her cash from this to fight against marriage equality (she's a Mormon, you kn0w) I will hunt you down.

I'm serious.

18 & Older Video Only -- If You're Going to Watch One Set of New Moon Interviews ...

... it should be from No Good Television.

Now, I don't endorse the whole dealio ... celibate vampires? Give me a fuckin' break with that. Every vampire I've met has been very horny (not including Clive Owen, who is a vampire as well as the guy who's stalking me on Facebook, however he's just evil and out to get me for apparently no reason).

However, if you're looking for Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson to drop a few F-bombs, host Carrie Keagan to ask all those eerewolf boys to take off their pants and more generalized debauchery from this gang, click THIS LINK RIGHT HERE and be transported to the NGTV.com site and make sure you're over 18 and click away (because you would never lie about anything on the Internet, would you?) and enjoy.

(They are in the process of a major site redesign, so no embed codes right now, which gives you every reason to click over there and watch ... everything! Including Carrie interviewing the casts of Precious, Pirate Radio, Gentlemen Broncos and ... Dolph Lundgren. Dolph Lundgren? Yes, Dolph Lundgren.)

I prefer my vampires having sex, same-sex sex, opposite-sex sex (t0 paraphrase a certain Miss California with eight separate sex tapes out there) ... rough sex with tough customers ... but this no sex thing just leaves me dry.

Very dry.

And btw, this is only part one of a multi-part extravaganza from the No Good gang with these kids. Wish they would have gotten Michael Sheen to play but whatev, maybe he shows up in the next one ... and hopefully with a potty-mouthed Dakota Fanning (because it's time, it's just time for her to break out of this kid thing ... we all know she's really a 30-year-old who just looks young for her age).

I couldn't possibly say more about whole Twilighty thing.

Someone owes me cocktails, Kourosh.

Video -- Hey, Remember the Day I Met FlashForward's David Goyer and Brannon Braga?

Well, this is what happened that day at No Good Television. Carrie and Shark (and a small crowd of very vocal fans, myself included ... though off-camera where I belong because I'm not quite TV-ready) experienced this, below.

(Don't even have to click over the jumperoo for it, so watch it.)

Thanks to Kourosh and the NGTV gang for yet another fun day west of La Brea and the best time I've ever had in Beverly Hills.

LINK

The Damned United's Michael Sheen: "I Have Become the Receptacle of Everybody's Shit"

Fresh off his appearance on Craig Ferguson's show where he was wearing really really tight pants without even being Kevin Jonas (see this link for explainers) Michael Sheen sits for a visit with my gal pal Carrie Keagan at NGTV for some talk on kicking balls.

Because Carrie's good like that.

You really have to watch the clip after the jump if only to figure out what the headline above means. Aren't you curious?

The movie opens today in select theatres.

NGTV FlashForward Preview -- In Which David Goyer Tells Me, Your TV Junkie, That I Don't Matter

And, though he's not quite right ... I do have another year to live inside the 18-49 demo ... you can't blame his logic. He's not speaking for himself, of course, he's talking for the network when he says that.

Goyer (The Dark Knight), who with Brannon Braga (24, Enterprise) created the ABC series FlashForward spent some time on Thursday with my friends Carrie Keagan and Shark Firestone (see image above) at the No Good Television studios in Beverly Hills (man, I hate the traffic on the west side) love the idea of making smart television for smart people and I love them for it.

Now, I don't wanna give away too much of what went on the in room, but it was a far-ranging and rollicking conversation that started with "No Joe, we're not going to tell you what happens" and then veered into a conversation about merkins, 80's straight porn (in which, thanks to college roommate Dave I'm pretty well schooled) to that mysterious kangaroo from the pilot.

(About the kangaroo, btw, I never did hear a definitive response on why the kangaroo ... hmmmm.)

Why 80s porn? Because it's No Good Television, of course. And we're always talking about 80s porn there, though in defense of the golden age of porn arguers (talkin' to you, Braga) I'd have to say that the mid 70s is the golden age of straight porn, what with The Devil & Miss Jones, Deep Throat and Behind the Green Door all being part of what I consider the 1939 of the X-rated movie business. Oh, and add the rest of the Mitchell Bros. stuff from up in San Francisco.

Of course the 80s, with the advent of video cassettes in one's home and the war between Beta and VHS being won by the latter because the porn industry embraced the format were the beginning of the power and money years for the industry.

Okay, I digress. Sorry. It's been on my mind ever since Thursday.

What so impressed me about the pilot (which is all I had seen at the time) was all the money they spent, especially on all the action that took place on and above the 101 Freeway in downtown Los Angeles. Goyer seemed particularly thrilled about having stopped traffic on the 101 in both directions for 20 minutes while they shot parts of that sequence.

When you see this interview in the next two weeks or so, and I'll have it right here for you, Goyer talks about getting texts from friends while on location there bitchwailing up and down at him for bringing LA to a standstill, and when you think about that it's quite the accomplishment.

More, including a full episode embed from Hulu of this past Thursday's show (US only, sorry) and a preview of next week, after the jump.

NGTV Video -- Ricky Gervais Tells Carrie Keagan: "There's No Need to Swear"

Of course there is a reason to swear, could you imagine having to sit through these junket interviews without NGTV's Carrie and that mouth that she stole from a longshoreman? I can't. I don't do it anymore, I just watch No Good Television.

The movie, of course, is The Invention of Lying, costarring Jennifer Garner, Louis C.K. and Tina Fey.

Then Ricky turns to the camera to talk to Carrie's mom (who is this very lovely sweet woman from Upstate New York and ... well, I can't even repeat what he says to her.

But only because you should hear it from him. Oh, it's all in fun. No need for the Buffalo metro area to come running at Ricky with pitchforks and torches.

This very high concept comedy will be, in my not-so-humble estimation, the film that puts Ricky over the top here in the US, and if you miss it you're a fucking loser, to steal a word from Ms. Hottie HotHot and her naughty mouth.

Clip after the jump, movie opens tomorrow.

(And, btw, I'm on my way right after posting this to NGTV to meet the creators of FlashForward, so nothing new here until the end of the say. I need to get out and have some fun.)

NGTV Video -- Sandra Bullock Showcases Her Heinie for Carrie Keagan

Okay, a little backstory.

As you might remember, my gal pal Carrie from No Good Television recently graced the cover of Jesse James' Garage magazine.

See, it's right here.

Well, this was not going without comment from the wife, of course, who is shamelessly mocking Carrie in the clip after the jump.

Oh, and there's a bit of girl-on-girl buttsmacking for those of you into that.

Thomas Haden-Church and Bradley Cooper, her co-stars in All About Steve, seemed to enjoy that moment.

This is the first of two Bullock as a blonde movies (the other being The Blind Side (scheduled for November release). Why blonde? I'm not sure, but would it have anything to do with who showed up on the cover of Jesse James' Garage issue number 18?

Hmmm.

Watch the whole clip (after the jump) if only for the moment where Sandy puts on the producer hat and explains that anyone who loves gay porn will love a movie starring Bradley Cooper.

And to that I say sure, but there's certainly nothing wrong with Thomas Haden-Church either. And I've been saying that since Wings.

NGTV Video -- Taking Woodstock Opens Today With Period-Authentic "Bodily Topiary"

Yeah, I mean bush.

And I don't mean George W.

I would be remiss if I didn't remind you that the last time Carrie Keagan talked with Liev Schreiber for No Good Television it was in support of a little movie called X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

And in this film he wears a dress. How John Lithgow/The World According to Garp of him!

And that's just one reason to love Liev Schreiber.

Carrie talks to star Demetri Martin, Schreiber, Jonathan Groff (Broadway's Spring Awakening), Emile Hirsch but not Ang Lee.

Why not Ang Lee? I think between the two of them, Carrie and Ang Lee could solve every problem the world serves up. They are the perfectly-suited ying and yang of the motion picture industry.

After the jumperoo, homepagers.

NGTV Comic-Con Video -- James Cameron Waves Off Publicists for Carrie, Shark & Up Close

So there's this little indie film that Cameron's working on, it's called Avatar, made for no money, no money at all. And the buzz? Hardly a peep from the usual suspects.

Just a little film about people and relationships and the questions of the day, you know.

If you believe that, try the following ...

• He needs a hit. That movie about the boat with Leo underperformed.
• Jim's a very shy, unassuming guy.
• Shark Firestone's 'do is the result of years of No Good Television guests donating pubic hair grafts.
• Carrie Keagan lived in a convent for years but was broken out of the hoosegow by a gang led by George Carlin and a time-traveling Lenny Bruce just 11 years ago who then taught her everything she needed to know to become a web celebrity and TV host.

Two clips after the jump, my pals with Cameron at the Con followed by the recently released full teaser trailer.

The movie opens December 18.

Video -- The Remarkable Jane Lynch Visits the No Good Television Studios

Jane Lynch, and they didn't call me. I have already chastised the appropriate people. Not really, I just reminded them that when someone like Jane Lynch shows up, I wanna be there.

Who doesn't love Jane Lynch? Christopher Guest company player, go-to gal for web comedy from Funny or Die and others, star of the upcoming Glee on Fox, and ... for matters of the clip after the jump one of the co-stars of Post Grad, the film opening today starring Alexis Bledel (Gilmore Girls) and Zach Gilford (Friday Night Lights), who joins Jane, Carrie Keagan (with an "ea") and Shark Firestone, who has to stand behind the bar because you would be distracted by his enormous package if he didn't, as I mentioned just the other day (LINK).

Zach Gilford is apparently not related to the legendary Jack Gilford, as I can't find a mention of it on the web. Though he might just be quiet about it. Damn, then I have no reason to tell my story about meeting Jack Gilford outside the Winter Garden Theatre in NYC before a performance of Gilda Radner: Live from New York.

Unless you beg me to. Maybe later.

Watch Carrie and Shark have a party with the stars of this film in a clip after the jump that is NOT for you kids and shouldn't be watched at work without headphones.

This is part one of two. I'll have part two ASAP. It's Jane Lynch!

Video -- Basterds and NGTV's Carrie: Tarantino, Novak, Roth, Waltz ...

... but no Brad Pitt.

No Brad Pitt? What? Was Angelina afraid Carrie Keagan would steal her man? Or was Brad too busy teaching a class at the Learning Annex on one-handed joint rolling?

A) Carrie doesn't need to steal anyone's man, she is the goddess of the press junket. Men turn to mush in front of her. Why? Because smart beautiful women rule the world.

B) One-handed rolling is overrated. It's not the wrapping, it's the present inside dontcha know.

Make particular note of Christoph Waltz in this clip after the jump. Then read this (LINK) from the Los Angeles Times. This movie will make his career in the US. Mark my words, I have a great instinct for this stuff.

And not just him but Michael Fassbender (not included in the clip, unfortunately), who you might remember from 300 or from his outstanding performance as Bobby Sands in Hunger.

Carrie trades f-bombs and more with Waltz, director Quentin Tarantino, Eli Roth (in an acting role here, taking a break from the torture porn biz) and B.J. Novak from The Office in his first dramatic role.

Well there's certainly room, as anyone who has seen the trailer for the movie for humor in this picture. In fact, considering the subject matter it's almost a required element.

Speaking of humor, guess who shows up in this movie? Well, first of all Samm Levine, who you might remember from Freaks & Geeks and is just hysterically funny.

And ... Mike Myers. Mike Myers? You know, that guy who used to make funny movies in the late 90s and is currently filming a remake of the Danny Kaye classic The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, which btw didn't need to be remade. The original and Danny Kaye stand as giants.

Now clip over the jumperoo and watch Carrie work her magic. And in the days ahead look for a very very special Carrie Keagan/NGTV giveaway exclusive to this site.

I said EXCLUSIVE! No one else but me will have this. I know you fanboys are out there because you click over to see Carrie all the time. This one will make your head spin.

Which head? We'll just have to see about that.

As always, you watch anything from NGTV.com at work at your own peril. Is your boss a prude? Because NGTV is no good at the DNA level, it's what they do. That's why I love it.

And, you kids, just move along, and on your way tell your Mom she should be watching you when you're on the internet, just like she does when you go to the mall. Or better than that, actually.

NGTV Video -- Battlestar's Olmos and Hogan Part II, In Which They Play With Condoms

Only No Good Television would present BSG's Edward James Olmos (Adama) and Michael Hogan (Tigh) with a handful each of NGTV-branded condoms, not available in stores, but I might be able to work some magic and do a giveaway if you guys are interested.

At least we know what brand of raincoat Shark Firestone's massive dong is wearing when it goes out to play.

(And now Shark owes me for promoting his massive dong. Though I hear the carpet doesn't quite match the drapes, if you know what I mean. Not in color, it's a texture issue. Believe it or not, it's all flatironed down there. Surprised, huh? The upkeep must be pricey.)

I'm so so sorry I missed this day at the NGTV studios. I was busy being an adult, had no time to play. Fortunately, Carrie and crew and their special guests did.

This is one great frakkin' clip, watch it after the jump.

Previously: Carrie with Megan Fox discuss Jennifer's Body, at this link.

BSG, the final episodes, the 4.5 boxset, available at your local retailer and at Amazon by clicking the either the standard or Blu-Ray icon below.

         

2 Clips -- Jennifer's Body Star Megan Fox Tells Carrie Keegan, "I Don't Wear Clothes in the Movie"

And there's a baby oil reference that you'll enjoy. This is obviously not suitable for work or kids, as most of the stuff here on my blog is.

No Good Television could have only had a better time at Comic-Con if I had shown up. Yeah, I like to egg Carrie on, get her all thinking about the naughtiest of naughty things.

It's why it's always a good idea to stop and pick up a little something at The Pleasure Chest before you stop at the NGTV offices.

Actually, it's not something I have to work really hard on (hehehe, I said "hard on"), Carrie comes pre-loaded with more innuendo (hehehe I said, "In You End-Oh") than even I do.

Hehehe I said ... oh, wait, I didn't say anything dirty that time.

You gotta click over the jumperoo for this interview clip with the stars and writer of Jennifer's Body if only to hear Diablo Cody (it opens Sept. 18 at a theatre near you and is rated R for raunchy, randy and ridiculously sexy) say, "Who doesn't wanna eat someone that they like?"

Who doesn't wanna see a movie that has Megan Fox devouring flesh to stay alive, girl on girl makeouts and The Runaways' as part of the soundtrack?

Remember the ep of Family Guy where Peter asked the wishing genie for his own theme music? If Megan Fox had theme music it would be Cherry Bomb.

NGTV/Carrie interview clip first, music video for Cherry Bomb second.

Megan says, "Go see my fucking movie, Jennifer's Body."

Yes, ma'am!

Go, watch clips, they're after the jump.

Video -- BSG Stars Olmos, Hogan Visit No Good Television (but unfortunately not me)

I couldn't go, I got detention for suggesting that my substitute Spanish teacher was a prostitute.

(No, that's not the reason but it's an actual true story from ninth grade. And if you would have seen what she wore to work that day you would have laughed about it, too. I know it was 1975 but fishnets to teach ninth grade Spanish? With legs like hers? Please.)

Michael Hogan and Edward James Olmos stopped by to promote the season 4.5 DVD release. On the horizon we also have the TV debut of Caprica and the DVD debut of Battlestar Galactica: The Plan, the movie that looks at the BSG world from the viewpoint of the Cylons.

Actually, I had a few meetings that I just couldn't rearrange that day. A shame, it looks as if drinking was done and fun was had. Carrie and Shark do the honors and the clip is after the jump.

Extras: Hogan will be guesting on Dollhouse this season and may end up as a recurring character on Warehouse 13, so look for that. Olmos direct The Plan (previously mentioned) and has two things in development right now that I can't tell you about because I refuse to pay for IMDB Pro.

Stargate Universe -- NGTV's Carrie and Shark Interview the Cast at the Con

Wormholes are taking over TV. String theory is almost a must for sci fi fans.

Speaking of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, a primer on string theory can be found right here at this link.

(Yes, even you, Doctor Who fans, might need a primer on time travel.)

New Stargate series coming from Syfy (yuck, I still hate that rebranding thing) stars Robert Carlyle and,  apparently, a bunch of hot chicks.

The hot chicks include, btw ... Ming-Na, Elyse Levesque, Alaina Kalanj and Julia Anderson.

The cast quickly gets into the NGTV spirit. Carlyle especially, as a proper Scot.

The show debuts on October 2 (Friday) on Syfy at 10, the old BSG timeslot.

Two clips after the jump, Carrie and Shark with the cast from the Con and then the proper trailer for the series from MGM.

NGTV Video -- Kristin Cavallari's Other Job, Straight-to-DVD Sequel Star

The movie is Van Wilder: Freshman Year, it's yet another of the Kristin Cavallari catalog of straight-to-DVD releases and the most entertaining thing about this film (?!?) might be the Carrie Keegan interview with the leads which includes Jonathan Bennett (above left).

But, you gotta have something in your Netflix queue when all copies of the theatrical releases you love are out, so why not this?

Especially you fans of The Hills (Janet?) should check out Kristin's acting chops, or lack thereof.

Reality television is no place to be learning how to act, I don't care how many words the "producers" write for you.

Clip after the jumperoo.

NGTV Ugly Truth Video -- Rude Behavior, So Hot When it Comes From Hot Blondes and Gerry Butler

Don't even read this post at work, okay? Promise me. Just wait until you get home.

(Okay, you can read it, but look behind you first, and if you don't have headphones no watching the clip.)

I'm putting the whole post behind the jump because ... because I am, and that's the way it's gonna be.

Video -- NGTV's Carrie With the Cast of 500 Days of Summer

I might actually have to go to a movie theatre this Summer, and not just for the air conditioning.

I love Joe Gordon-Levitt, I love Zooey Deschanel and I am looking forward to the movie that Joe told National Public Radio was a love letter to Los Angeles.

Because we know LA doesn't get a lot of cinematic love letters.

Loaded with f-bombs and inappropriate content for you grandma, your kids, and the person in the cublicle next to you. It's why they call it NO GOOD TELEVISION!

It fuckin' rocks! Clip after the jump. See the official website for the film at this link with the full trailer.

Video -- Carrie Keegan Gets Up Close With Hayden Panettiere

I'm not feeling really cheeky right now so can you write your own naughty li'l Carrie meets Hayden thing? Put it in the comments section and I'll replace this lame paragraph with the winner and absolutely no compensation whatsoever except my thanks.

Before you start, two things ...

a) Chris Columbus, director, AND ... No Good Television virgin I believe. Check the 1:12 mark in the clip for the typical "can you say that" moment.

b) If you think about it, this movie is Can't Hardly Wait only from the Jennifer Love Hewitt character's point of view, kind of, almost.

One more thing, it opens Friday. I would bet it'll open in the $18-25 million range and cool considerably in the second week. Should open well in countries where Heroes is being shown.

Clip after the jump.

Hey, what ever happened to her recording career?

You, get writing!

Happy July 4th Birthday to All My July 4th Friends!

First, off, much love to one of my favorite blog subjects and a great gal named Carrie Keegan from NGTV, seen here above laying around with a giant knobby looking object and Heroes star Zach Quinto. No, it doesn't vibrate, it's a microphone.

But, if you squint ...

Okay, enough of that. Also celebrating today is my Facebook friend Jon Plowman, the UK king of comedy, producer of many of your favorite shows including Ab Fab and the currently airing Beautiful People on Logo from BBC Three.

Jon's latest project is called Psychoville, written by Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton and featuring the writers, Dawn French,  Daniel Kaluuya and Mark Gatiss for the BBC. More on that in the very near future.

Jon is seen here to the right resisting arrest by a Canadian Mountie at the Banff TV Fest two years ago for being just too damned fabulous for words.

Finally, a great Summer has started for our friend Ty Davies, keeper of the flame which is the Facebook page Doctor Who, The Journey That Never Ends and various and sundry other pop culture-focused pages at the site. Click there to see that Davros is actually in on the party as well.

Ty married the love of his life, the former Donna Urch in June in Wales. Today is his 37th, his first birthday as a married man and father of young Ryan, their son.

To celebrate both events I post these images below from his wedding. Note the cake. I wouldn't mind tasting a little tardis, would you?

Congrats to them both and Happy Birthday Ty!

Now get out there and do your own celebrating!

Video -- More Hot Transformers 2 Action With No Good Television

More Carrie. More Megan Fox, the only woman out there I would deign to bed (if you put a gun to my head I could do it). More of that nasty NGTV goodness all over you like baby oil and sand from the desert.

(You gotta watch the clip to understand.)

Video here, and after the jump from Carrie Keegan's Myspace blog, her Life Lessons (So Far), because they're naughty.

LINK

Video -- Hot Transformers 2 Brunette on Blonde Action With Megan & Carrie

That dual image above? What more can I say? How about this? (THR):

Paramount's action sequel "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" capped its dramatic debut with a vengeance, ringing up $112 million in estimated weekend boxoffice for a competition-crunching domestic cume of $201.2 million since storming theaters Wednesday.

Matched against the first five days of all previous film releases, the "Transformers" tally falls below only that of last summer's "The Dark Knight," which debuted with $203.8 million during a Friday-to-Tuesday span. With another $181.6 million coming from overseas, the global gross for the second "Transformers" now stands at $363.2 million.

And the "scholarly" critics panned the thing. Way out of touch with the viewing public. To whom I have this question: "If no one cares what you think, are you still a critic?"

Michael Bay 2, critics 0.

Clip after the jump, and it's really not suitable for your workplace environs and it's not for your kids. 

Oh, and the rest of the cast is interviewed as well. I just know, however, that the hottie hot hot Megan is why you're here.

NGTV's Carrie and the Cast of Year One Just Go Totally Off the Rails, Also David Cross' Belushi Problem

It's just "one big circumcision, wine and sponge cake party."

Also, there's some oral sex instruction. Watch it because, as Woody Allen says, adult education is good for you. "You meet a lotta interesting professors. You know, it's stimulating."

Carrie is very stimulating. However, I think the oral sex instruction comes from Jack Black.

The movie opens Friday. The clip is really not for work or your kids or those people standing outside the Letterman show a couple nights ago.

But before the clip ... as you know David Cross is a co-star and included in this clip (saying some absolutely filthy things, by the way, that you can add to your own repertoire. But yesterday in the NY Daily News there was an interesting story on why Cross and Jim Belushi don't get along.

Check it out at this link. It's fascinating stuff. Now, I'm no Belushi fan. He is responsible for keeping Courtney Thorne-Smith working as an actress which I believe rises to the level of federal crime.

This, however, seals it for me.

Clip after the jump.

Video -- New VH1 Pop Culture Show, Is Best Week Ever Canceled or Not? I'm Confused

When Paul F. Tompkins (seen here with a blog fave) said at the end of Friday's episode that the show wouldn't come back till October I was somewhat confused.

Then I read on the New York Magazine website on their Vulture blog that it would be back in January 2010, which most of the staff considered de facto cancellation.

Then today I read in the same place that Paul's tweeting that it looks like no more show.

(I don't tweet anymore and you won't in six months, either. I don't judge you, have your fun.)

And the magazine writes today about a new pop culture show that they (VH1) is calling "similar to our old format of BWE" that will air on Mondays at 10 this Summer called The Great Debate.

But it's certainly not replacing BWE, it's a different time slot.

So, I have a clip from this new show after the jump. Best thing about this show? My pal Carrie Keegan is involved. Worst thing? So is Michael Buffer, the boxing ring announcer, as a kind of format glue for the show. You'll see. It's a little lame, this contrivance.

Certainly this isn't a topical current pop cult show, and frankly there are enough of them. I was thinking, in fact, about doing a post ranking the clip shows and when I started compiling the list I realized BWE came in fourth (The Soup, then Infomania on Current and then The Dish preceded it).

As it's not a topical show it also has a longer shelf life, which is good for them, but probably not good for you. And it's really not good for Paul.

I like Paul. In fact, I like him more doing standup or acting, both of which he will have more time to do now. The thing that sucks is that he relocated to NYC for the gig. It wasn't Paul I had a problem with, it was the format that came with Paul's hosting gig and some of the legacy stuff from before that stuck around, like Chuck Nice's faux-haughty gay entertainment reporter thing in The Sizzler.

It debuts Monday July 6, 10 pm.

NGTV Video -- Stars of The Proposal Reveal The Secret, Unknown Life of Betty White

Who knew that Up Close With Carrie Keegan was investigative journalism?

What you'll learn about Betty White in a clip after the jump:

"This woman is insane." (director Anne Fletcher)

"Betty White's a different Betty White underneath 'the Betty White.' ... "Totally gangsta, so street." (Sandra Bullock)

It seems that the only way to keep Betty happy and not cutting someone on set was to have the producers order a scene where Oscar Nunez (The Office) strips in front of her.

Demanding, huh? But get this, when he was finished she laughed, right in his face.

Bitch.

It's been like this forever. I remember back in 1992 I was at The Smokehouse in Burbank and Betty walked in singing that Right Said Fred song and actually ripping clothes off guys as she sang/screamed "You're too sexy for this shirt!" and then she put a cigar out on some day player's forearm.

Right before the Millenium she totally went Texas university bell tower on the Warner lot, picking off craft service people like they were target practice.

And then there was the story about what she did to the bathroom at Les Deux a couple years ago, but she blamed Lohan for it and got away unscathed.

Betty White. Keep your eyes peeled, she might be heading your way.

Clip after the jump.

NGTV Video -- New Words, With Denzel Washington & Carrie Keegan (What's a Maytag?)

Only for you, for your information and edification, here is explanation from Urban Dictionary and it ain't pretty:

prison slang for submissive homosexual male who becomes a literal slave of dominant male master and performs all the master's chores as well as providing sexual service to the master on command, which may include "tossing salad (analingus), performing fellatio, receiving anal penetration or even performing sexual favors to other prison males as prostitute being "pimped out" by the master. The term is derived from the popular Maytag brand of clothes washers which were advertised to "keep working and working and working...." without malfunction - essentially what the prison maytag must do for his master.

I should add that there are certainly many men in prison having sex with men who don't consider themselves homosexuals. They're just ... making do.

But thank you, Academy Award winning actor Denzel Washington, for expanding my vocabulary today.

Carrie talks to Big D and director Tony Scott about The Taking of Pelham 123 in a clip after the jump.

2 Clips -- NGTV's Carrie Keegan On Set: Deep Inside The Hangover, So Deep She's In the Movie

She has the uncredited role of Casino Guest. Should have called her character "Hottie Casino Chick with Cleavage."

Everyone's in this clip. If they're in the movie, they're in the clip. And director Todd Phillips (Old School).

Zach Galifianakis finally breaks through, which is huge! It's been threatening to happen for a long long time and now it's here and I totally expect him to become a recluse or find a way to backcomb his beard so that it obscures his face.

Such great opening weekend numbers that Bradley Cooper is now circling the Face role in a remake of The A-Team.

Biggest opening of last weekend, just squeaking by Up for the honors. Beat the hell outta Land of the Lost, too.

It's in two parts and it's after the jump!

And, upcoming, the movie where Carrie and Ed Helms go on a bender in Reno together, called Deep Inside Carrie Keegan.

Yeah, he wishes. You gotta get thru Carrie's big gay Uncle Joe first, Helms. I got my eye on you, Office boy.

I think I could take him.

NGTV Video -- Boobalicious Daisy "of Love" De La Hoya With Carrie Keegan

And boner killer Riki Rachtman. Boner killer. Cock blocker. Whatev. It's a paid TV gig.

Awww, Riki, it's okay. You don't wanna be promoting the boners of the Daisy of Love contestants, they're all tools.

Gotta believe at least one of them will show up on season two or three of Tool Academy.

(Audition site for season two right here at this link, Tools!)

How big are Daisy's flowerpots? Bigger than Carrie's hands, certainly. You'll see.

Note to Daisy fans: I have sat on that exact stool that Daisy does in the clip. So, if you kiss my ass you're only two degrees of separation away from her.

Clip after the jump. Also at NGTV, Carrie talks to the casts of Terminator Salvation (with the very hot Sam Worthington and Opie's daughter Bryce Dallas Howard using the C word) and Drag Me To Hell.

Ab0ut Worthington, the latest Aussie to hit our shores, from Wired Magazine, he lets us know that he's up for action (LINK):

Four years ago, Australian actor Sam Worthington sold his house, packed two bags — one for books, one for clothes — and set out on a Hollywood trip backward through time.

First, he spent 18 months playing an intergalactic explorer in James Cameron’s futuristic sci-fi feature Avatar, set for release in December. Then he appeared as renegade mystery man Marcus Wright, opposite Christian Bale, in Terminator Salvation’s near-future nightmare world. Now Worthington is four weeks into production on ancient mythology remake Clash of the Titans.

“I’ve been working on Titans for two weeks and I’m more bruised and battered than I ever was on Terminator,” says Worthington during a break from filming earlier this month. “We take on Medusa, we take on the witches and we just kill everything else. It’s a bit brutal.”

Lots of him in the future, certainly.

Get Up Close with Carrie and Daisy and Riki after the jump.

Star Trek Opens Huge! More Carrie/NGTV Clippage, TV.com Premiere Photo Gallery

No Good Television has more Star Trek cast interviews including Bruce Greenwood, Zoe Saldana, John Cho, Karl Urban, more J.J., and of course more Carrie Keegan. It's after the jump.

But first ...

Los Angeles Times writer Geoff Boucher has an interview with Nimoy this morning at this link.

The rare bad review for this movie from the Niagara Falls Reporter.

Pine, Quinto and Nimoy on SNL (video).

io9.com on the Star Trek backlash.

TV.com premiere photo gallery (note all the people who probably don't care about Star Trek getting their pictures taken for career advancement -- I'm talking to you Leighton Meester) at this link.

NGTV Star Trek Video -- Carrie Keegan, J.J. Abrams, Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto: Opens Friday!

Overheard:

Carrie: This movie is the tits!

J.J.: The truth is that the goal was to make a movie that was defined in that way.

And ... a shoutout to Big K! Kourosh, you never get a shoutout from Carrie, and you're the Big K!

Also in this first clip (more on the way), you get Karl Urban, John Cho, Zoe Saldana, Clifton Collins Jr., Anton Yelchin, and probably someone I left out.

And yes, there's one spoiler, but did you expect that Kirk wouldn't be shtupping some green chick out there in space? C'mon, Kirk is as Kirk does.

And Kirk is going green, baby.

Clip (first of at least two) after the jump.

NGTV Video -- More Carrie Keegan, More X-Men ... Wolverine and Liev Schrieber Talkin' Smack

All kinds of smack, in fact.

And you might enjoy the moment where Ryan Reynolds thinks Carrie's giving him a stroke (hehehe, burnt toast) and Taylor Kitsch talks about "overcompensating" with a bigger sword than Jackman.

Here's a way to sell movies the casts like this in a more efficient way ... instead of trailers for all the stars, just one big locker room, like in high school gym, with those showers and towel snapping and little tiny pinhole cameras embedded all through the tile walls and in the drainholes in the shower floor and ...

What?

Oh, sorry, I was going off again.

Still a great idea, though.

This episode of Up Close With Carrie Keegan is brought to you by the letters F and S, and the number two. 'Cause she's a naughty girl.

It's after the jump.

And starting Wednesday night, I'll have the first of many many of Carrie's Star Trek interviews that will not disappoint. Does she ever?

NGTV Video -- Wolverine Hugh Jackman with Carrie, Opens Tomorrow

Fanboys, start your engine. I have my clutch in my hand right now.

Hehehehe.

I'm not even watching this first, I'm just posting it sight unseen (after the jump) because I know so many people who for so many reasons can't get enough of the guy pictured above.

I mean, Yowza!

And, bonus, Ryan Reynolds. Other bonus? Taylor Kitsch, that guy from Friday Night Lights, you know the one.

And Liev Schreiber, you are a fine actor, sir.

In my next life, I come back as No Good Television's Carrie Keegan.

After the jump. Go, click!

NGTV's Carrie Keegan, Cover Girl & With Land of the Lost Stars Ferrell, Friel, McBride

So, this is Jesse James' Garage magazine's 18th issue. I apparently missed issues one through 17.

(Frankly, if it's not Entertainment Weekly, Newsweek, Fast Company or New York Magazine, I don't see it. And cars take me places, but that's all I know.)

Check out the anklets, though. Just like the girl in the ZZ Top video for Legs. Only on a much hotter woman.

And, after the jump, Carrie, and I'm quoting the email the link came with "fucks around with Will Ferrell and Danny McBride on the Land of the Lost set."

No actual fucking, however.

There's also a moment with Sid and Marty Kroft. No, they aren't high, I don't think they were ever high. Because you were high, you thought everyone else was.

(Hey, I keep saying it's an adult blog and there's the occasional f-bomb, get used to it.)

Tomorrow, Carrie with Hugh Jackman. Why am I not Carrie Keegan?

(Something to do with the penis hanging below the keyboard as I type this. And even without it I am a very unattractive woman that you would not be interested in watching on TV or your computer or even in kinescope.)

Because it's a set visit, they call this Deep Inside with Carrie Keegan. I just like you to have all the information available. And the imagery is crucial.

Carrie on.