Every year there's a song. You and I sit in anticipation in front of our TVs every year and wonder what piece of drek the producers of the show are going to foist upon its two shining stars, effectively hampering their careers in what I can only presume is a scheme to collect a little more coin for the Idol war machine in publishing fees.
It's never a good song. It's just never, ever a decent song. Usually a cloying, faux-emotional ballad with room for melismatic flourishes and a hopeful lyric.
What I don't get is why this entertainment juggernaut that (sometimes) creates big pop music careers for unknowns would risk all that build-up of said unknowns on songs that not only aren't right for the performers but aren't good songs.
This year the song is called No Boundaries. Have you read the lyrics? Here's a taste, Rickey.org transcribed them:
When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you’ve almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand and show you that you can
You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you
B-reak every rule coz there’s nothing between you
and your dreams
Isn't it great that they found a junior high school girl to write them?
Kidding.
Sadly.
And the music? I've seen written this morning that it's written for someone with a higher voice than Kris Allen, which isn't really the case. When you listened to Kris sing it last night you would have noticed that it was too low and too high for him. The range of the song was just outside his skillset, though Adam with that freaky upper register had no problem.
But there's the rub for me. If you're looking for the next pop star, one only needs to look at all the other pop stars to realize that none of them have that kind of range. So, why require that to win the contest? I dunno.
The song wasn't really right for either of them. And it's the song that will be one of those guys' first single. Why would you hamstring a singer's career by having him come out of the gate with a crappy song.
With all the money the show makes they can't have a few songwriting teams working on stuff during the season with the top 12 in mind? I don't buy that.
Notice I didn't even mention that the song was written by the annoying new girl (as well as Cathy Dennis and Mitch Allan) which really isn't a good thing for her, considering that TVGuide.com recently noted:
Nearly 60 percent of TVGuide.com voters want
American Idol to dump
Kara DioGuardi from the judges' table.
Though the newcomer has brought some credible music industry insight to the panel,
59 percent of TVGuide.com voters would rather the show not renew DioGuardi's one-season contract, arguing that four judges are too many.
Among all the changes made to
Idol this
season, the one that has been the most hotly debated is DioGuardi's
addition. Earlier this season, the judges' commentary forced
Idol to run eight minutes long, interrupting
Fringe and
upsetting millions of DVR viewers. A week later, each contestant was
only critiqued by two judges instead of the entire panel.
Six
percent of voters believe a fourth judge isn't a bad idea, but they
would prefer someone other than DioGuardi next season. DioGuardi has
fans as well. Thirty-five percent of voters suggest that the new judge
has added value to the show.
This doesn't help her. At all.
However, this morning just about anyone who's anyone connected to the show has stated that she stays, despite her presence alone requiring more talk time and less singing on this show that picks a singer, and despite the fact that the abomination of a pop song she wrote being an anchor placed around the neck of the winner of the show.
Before I end on this topic, a little visit from my conspiracy theory hat ... Did the producers bring on Kara to put pressure on Paula to clean herself up or clean herself out or whatever? And, if that Ladies Home Journal piece that Paula interviewed for and then later completely disassociated herself with is actually based in fact, did it work? And if it did work, does that mean the producers send Kara on her way eventually? Does that eventually mean next season now that Paula's shut her medicine cabinet, allegedly, per LHJ?
Too many questions.
Besides the whole Kara Kwandry (see, I can make up my own spellings of words, too!) I still don't get why this show, which does so many things so well in the marketing sphere can't see this "coronation song" problem for what it is.
There's just gotta be a better way. You got one? Use the comments and tell me about it.
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