I Am A TV Junkie

Idol's Pia Toscano Might Have Already Made More Money Than Taylor Hicks

I know, I suck for slinging crap at Taylor Hicks. It's not his fault, really. He just should have never been chosen by a group of American teenage girls to be a pop star.

Having said that I betcha with the $100K that Pia will pull in for singing at a private party next weekend in Los Angeles (check this Hollywood Reporter story) is probably more than Hicks made on his debut album.

Maybe she'll sing Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me again. But if she doesn't, those partygoers and you can hear her sing it again in the clip after the jump. She's wearing a dress no doubt inspired by J.Lo's Grammy Awards dress, worth the click.

UPDATE: The Soul Patrol is swarming around me on Twitter. It was a joke! Get over it. And ... made ya look!

My Return to (Watching) American Idol -- Top 6: What a Motley Looking Crew!

The annual tradition continues.

I check in each year on American Idol the week the top six perform. I hate the audition rounds, the weeks of humiliation ... the crazies they bring on just make me sad as I guess I don't have that thing that lets me laugh at other people's misfortune.

(Having said that I'm sure I'll be out today and will see a nun slip on a banana peel.)

Look at 'em, though. What a motley crew, these six: Skinny country crooner with an Alfred E. Newman thing going on and twang for days; a Compton guy who you just wanna see get outta Compton; two young women who (I'm sorry but they) are interchangeable; rocker guy with satellite dish ears; and, finally, an extra from Yentl's yeshiva scenes.

And the rabbinical student will probably win it all. AND ... he's ginger! He has a great stage presence but ... well, the pop music world isn't usually populated by someone who wandered over from the 1985 Harrison Ford movie Witness.

(I'm accepting more Casey Abrams movie-related zingers in the comments below.)

About the judge's panel? Apparently the show DOES survive without Simon, and very well in fact. I like that the judges now enter from offstage, which I'm sure was done to showcase J.Lo's legs and her clothes. Tyler is fine, maybe a little too inside baseball with his quotes about presentation. Randy continues to be Randy despite his move into Simon's chair, he's "all good."

Seacrest, however, is really rockin' the Mad Men look this season. I like it.

So, after the jump, watch Casey sing the Carole King-penned Hi De Ho (which he nailed like he was raising a barn -- see what I did there? Another Witness reference?) and duetting with Haley on I Feel the Earth Move.

Idol Fans Said, "See Ya, Pia," Reports Say She Signs Deal With Interscope

My favorite  comment on Pia Toscano's elimination from Idol comes from my cousin Joe's wife Anne-Marie (yes, the one that was a member of the NY Jets' Flight Crew) who said on Facebook, "So Pia got kicked off American Idol....what was the problem, she too hot 'n' too good a singer? C'mon America!! Ugh."

Anne-Marie will be happy to know that according to this Us Magazine report, Jimmy Iovine from Interscope was thinking the same thing and has already signed the lovely Toscano to a record deal.

Here's the excerpt from the mag that's making the rounds ...

"Pia is being signed to a deal with Interscope Records who are rushing her into the studio to record an album ASAP," a source familiar with the contract talks tells Us. "Starting [Thursday] night after the show, Interscope told her they wanted her and first thing [Friday] morning Interscope brass started calling every top songwriter and producer in town to get an album together and rush release it."

Rush release? Oh, just hold on their Iovine, you know it doesn't work like that, artists need time, and I'm sure Interscope wants an album that is somewhat reflective of who Pia is as a singer and a young woman.

If these reports are true she will join another Italian-American New York woman on the label, you might know her as Lady Gaga. And for those of you not up to speed on your recording industry execs, you might remember Iovine from an episode of Family Guy. Click here for more on that.

I'm wary about this report from Us because 1) It's Us Magazine and I don't really trust them, and B) I was under the impression that the touring crew (Top 10 or 11 or whatev) couldn't sign or record for anyone else until the tour was finished.

Video -- Condensed Soup: Scott McCreery, Top Model and, Duh!, WINNING!

Winning. No word this week has taken more of a beating.

Watch Condensed Soup here, make sure to read the completely reconstituted version tonight at 10 eastern (earlier if you're on the West coast and have the E! East coast HD feed).

More, bonus Sheen content, this link. Because you're WINNING.

Video -- Idol's Bikini Girl Katrina Darrell Has a Single/Music Video

It's way overproduced, she's way overcostumed and the song is a dance version of Hey Big Spender from Sweet Charity. Having said that, it's ... well it's terrible of course but you didn't expect too much so that's ... okay.

Hey, her 15 minutes seem to be lasting a little longer than expected. That's, uh, something.

The idea to dance-ify this particular song isn't such a bad idea. Darrell should have taken some of that personal appearance coin she's been making (video link) and had someone construct some decent beats for it.

Her vocal is actually not too bad, but then again it's not a challenging song. Watch the clip after the jump.

Simon Cowell Watchers, Here's the Insider Stuff You've Been Wanting to Know

I think I know why Simon Cowell is a constant source of fascination to Americans, or at least THIS American. I think it's because Cowell makes an enormous amount of cash and no one quite understands why.

If you ask people what Cowell does, they'lll tell you he's a judge on a talent competition. Go a little deeper, ask them why he's judging singers. What qualifies him to decide who becomes a pop music star? Does he sing? Write music? Read music even?

Looking in from outside, it seems Simon Cowell is a guy who gets by on saying yes or no to people. But that's not all he does. Richard Rushfield has a new book, American Idol: The Untold Story (goes on sale tomorrow at your local bookseller or Amazon, see below) about the show and the people behind it, which you can pick up by clicking directly below.

Newsweek has an excerpt from the book posted and after the jump, read a little taste of that, or click over to Newsweek now and read the whole thing. It's a look into the relationships that created the show, the people who were left back when the show took off and friction caused when money is involved.

American Idol -- It's JLo and It's Official

The press release below:

GLOBAL SUPERSTAR JENNIFER LOPEZ JOINS FOX FAMILY, 

LAUNCHING FIRST-LOOK DEAL WITH FOX FILMS

AND JOINING FOX BROADCASTING’S “AMERICAN IDOL” AS NEW JUDGE

Golden Globe-nominated actress, platinum-selling recording artist, movie producer and entrepreneur Jennifer Lopez has entered a new deal with both Twentieth Century Fox Films and Fox Broadcasting Company, creating a “first-look” film agreement for her company Nuyorican Productions, and joining AMERICAN IDOL as a judge during its milestone 10^th season, which begins January 2011 on FOX.

“Jennifer is a true entertainment powerhouse who has made a tremendous impact on pop culture,” said Jim Gianopulos and Tom Rothman, Chairmen and CEOs, Fox Filmed Entertainment. “Whether as an actress, singer, songwriter or producer, she is a fantastic creative talent, and we’re thrilled to be in business with her.”

“We’re incredibly excited to have Jennifer join the Fox family,” said Peter Rice, Chairman of Entertainment for Fox Networks Group. “From the worlds of dance and music to television, films and fashion, she is a global superstar with iconic and captivating style, along with impressive insight on how to reach and move audiences worldwide.”

“As an artist and producer, I am excited to call Fox my home, and I am looking forward to working with Tom, Jim, Peter and the entire Fox team to create and produce the kinds of film and television projects that reflect my passion for entertaining audiences and telling great stories,” said Lopez.

ABOUT JENNIFER LOPEZ

Actress, singer, producer and entrepreneur Jennifer Lopez has sold over 55 million records worldwide and starred in multiple box office No. 1s, including “Monster-In-Law” and “The Wedding Planner.” In 2001, “The Wedding Planner” was the nation’s top-grossing film, while her album, “J.Lo,” was No. 1 on the Billboard Top 200 Chart. The two simultaneous No. 1 honors made Lopez the first woman in history to have a No. 1 movie and album in the same week. Lopez recently starred in CBS Films’ New York-set romantic comedy “The Backup Plan.” Prior to taking time off to have children, she had last been seen in the feature films “El Cantante,” a drama about the life of salsa legend Hector Lavoe; and “Bordertown” opposite Antonio Banderas – both of which she produced. In December 2010, Lopez will release her latest album, “Love?,” on Island/Def Jam Records. Along with partner Simon Fields, Lopez’s production company, Nuyorican, is in development on several film and TV projects, including the romantic comedy “Taming Ben Taylor,” in which she will star as a top-notch real estate agent who wins over a rugged vintner; “Nannyland” at ABC ; “Sweet Little 15” for Fox Searchlight, which tells of a young Mexican girl’s coming-of-age story as she plans her Quinceañera; and the teen television comedy and book series, “Amigas Sweet 15 Club,” which will follow five teens in Miami who run a Quinceañera (Sweet 15) business. Nuyorican is also working on notable film projects, including “The Governess” with CBS Films and a remake of “Overboard” with Sony. Lopez made her feature debut in the highly acclaimed “Mi Familia,” which garnered her an Independent Spirit Award nomination for her role as the young mother “Maria Sanchez.” Lopez earned widespread acclaim for her work in the title role of “Selena,” which brought her a Golden Globe Award nomination. In 2002, Lopez was awarded ShoWest Female Star of the Year, and in 2006, Lopez received the Women in Film: Crystal Award. Additionally, the National Council of La Raza, the largest Latino advocacy group in the nation, named her Entertainer of the Year at the American Latino Media Arts (ALMA) Awards. Her other film credits include Lasse Hallström’s “An Unfinished Life” with Robert Redford and Morgan Freeman; Oliver Stone’s “U-Turn”; “Maid In Manhattan,” co-starring Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, Bob Hoskins and Natasha Richardson; “Money Train” with Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes; Francis Ford Coppola’s “Jack” with Robin Williams; “Blood and Wine” opposite Jack Nicholson; Luis Mandoki’s “Angel Eyes”; “The Cell”; Steven Soderbergh’s “Out of Sight” with George Clooney; Michael Apted’s “Enough”; and “Anaconda” with Jon Voight, Eric Stoltz and Ice Cube. Via Nuyorican, Lopez made her foray into the role as television producer with her dance-reality show for MTV entitled “Dance Life” as well as the UPN drama “ South Beach .” Lopez also heads a best-selling line of fragrances and was awarded with the ACE Fashion Icon of the Year award in 2006 for her contribution to accessories and the fashion industry. Lopez continues to demonstrate a commitment to making a difference through her various philanthropic endeavors. Her passion for making this world better is highlighted through her work with children via The Maribel Foundation, a not-for-profit she started with her sister, Lynda. The Maribel Foundation’s mission is dedicated to improving the health and well-being of women and children and raising the level of medical care available to them. The foundation is currently working with Children’s Hospital Los Angeles on a telemedicine program that will help underserved communities around the world to be treated by top doctors.

Global TV Talent Show Auto-Tune Crisis -- What Happens Next?

The British tabloids couldn't be happier. They love a good controversy and this one's as big as they come for a TV show. The image above is how the UK Mirror broke the story.

(Because it IS just a TV show, right? No? What is that you're saying? It's a viable employment search strategy? Only if you have very very tall hair and lots of energy and then you might just get a couple hit singles and a reality show but if you invest the proceeds properly it might send you to college.)

The thing is there are rules about such things because all these shows from Idol to AGT/BGT to X-Factor are ostensibly game shows and there are rules and laws that apply.

Now today there's word that Susan Boyle's first performance on Britain's Got Talent was manipulated to make her sound better which bring up the issue of the drama created when her second appearance on the show didn't go as well as the first. Basically it seems the show created the drama by manipulation of the performance alone, doesn't it?

AND ... if that's the case what happened in the finale (she lost to a dance crew) and afterward when there were reports of a tailspin in the fragile Boyle's psyche is particularly distressing.

This all broke in the London tabs because of this performance from Gamu Nhengu (CLIP) on the show this past week. On first listen I have to say that without knowing ahead of time I wouldn't have recognized the telltale signs of the Auto-Tune technology, that slightly robotic-sounding thing, especially noticeable during what Cheryl Cole calls her "quirky woo-hoo-hoos."

From the Guardian UK:

After Saturday's show viewers flocked to Twitter and Facebook to complain about the heavy-handed use of digital pitch effects – particularly on Gamu Nhengu's version of Walking on Sunshine, which she belted out with a spooky, computer-like precision, a bit like Mariah Carey impersonating Robocop. It seemed clear that Nhengu had been lined up as a favourite and this had been scripted as the big star-making moment.

I can see why producers (Cowell included) were interested in making her a favorite, she has a very compelling backstory (watch the clip for details).

Like everything in this world, it wasn't a problem until they got caught. Now it's a big problem, ethically, legally and if the audiences for these shows dwindle because of the news, financially.

And with Cowell working to bring X-Factor here for the 2011 season, someone better fix this.

Now would be a good time.

Idol Winner Debut Album November 16

Fast, who was the American Idol winner? Yup, I thought you might have forgotten.

That person's album will drop on November 16th. Still can't remember their name, huh? Don't worry, you weren't gonna buy it anyway.

C'mon, sitting here waiting for you to remember that name of this last Idol champion is like watching paint dry.

That was a clue.

November 16th. Just show up at a retailer or click your iTunes icon that day and you'll figure it out.

Or just click here.

On Idol, J.Lo or Shania? Or Does It Matter?

Seriously, does it? I don't think so. Both women were pop powerhouses. Both aren't very active musically lately. Both are very pretty.

I don't think either of them makes or breaks the show.

Is there anyone out there that fans of the show would like to see sitting at the judge's table?

Here's an idea ... how 'bout a former contestant? It's as good a choice as either Lopez or Twain, and less costly. Find someone the kids liked a lot and who knows, the weekly appearances might boost a music career that for some reason didn't hit.

Leave suggestions below in the comments if you have a former Idol wannabe you think would be right for the judge's dais.

Okay, before you rank on me for this consider that the show isn't gonna live past another two years anyway, not when you'll have X-Factor's premiere in 2011. No one's gonna keep watching a music competition show without Simon Cowell when there's a perfectly good music competition show WITH Simon Cowell to watch.

Not that I'm a big fan of his. I'm not. But apparently a lot of you are. Will you be after looking at the Bullseye page in this week's Entertainment Weekly (no link, you have to buy the issue, or at least sneak a peek at the store)? Can you be a fan of a man with such pendulous breasts? I still say they're implants. His legs are so tiny, so strangely out of size with the rest of him, I can't imagine he's ever been inside a gym. I could be horribly wrong, however.

All the latest Idol stuff for you at AINow.org and EW's Idol section.

Idol -- J.Lo Out! Five Completely Untrue Possible Reasons Why

1. Fox said no to the diva fan.

2. "No, Jennifer, Marc can't be a contestant on the show. No, that can't be part of your performance rider."

3. They didn't care about the rocks that she's got ...

4. Lythgoe was jealous of her hair.

5. Even with just three judges there's only so much room at that table.

Actual facts from Ausiello at Entertainment Weekly at this link.

Overnight American Idol Developments: Now It's Kara Out and Steven Tyler In?

Wow, is this stuff coming fast and furious from 19 and Fox or what? Randy (above, with former workmates and the Seacrest) seems to have won some sort of competition.

TMZ is reporting that Kara DioGuardi is out at American Idol following on the heels of Ellen Degeneres' announcement that she was leaving yesterday.

And they're reporting that Steven Tyler of Aerosmith (though they have been having unit cohesion problems) will fill that chair, leaving Randy "Yeah Yeah Yeah" Jackson as the only original Idol judge left standing.

Yesterday's news at this link (Ellen out) and this link (J.Lo in).

They missed an outstanding opportunity here, they could have had some sort of competition between all these people and the ones previously mentioned, like Harry Connick Jr. and Bret Michaels, and shot that for a show that ran in the Fall before Idol starts.

Damn, I'd love to see a bunch of them locked in a house and fed nutritious slop and encouraged to work out and make out with each other, but I think CBS would make a copyright claim.

I'm sure Mike Darnell (Fox's alternative and unscripted guru) could have come up with a twist that would have made this doable. I could have been the best TV show EVER!

Just last week Tyler gave an interview to Nekesa Mumbi Moody at AP where he said:

"The band has never been better, I'm singing better," said an energetic Tyler. "It's been beautiful and I realized when I was taking care of my problems that the band is all I really care about."

When asked if he could see him self doing this 10 or 15 years from now, he said, "I'll be doing this 20 years from now. I'll be doing this as long as sound comes out of my mouth."

Okay, but maybe not for big swaths of time when he'll be traipsing around the country with Ryan killing the dreams of thousands of oblivious tone deaf kids and then in Hollywood doing the same with kids that sing a little better.

One thing they could do to improve the show that they haven't thought of yet? Make sure the better singers make it to the top 10. Stop looking for inspirational stories and find those unique musicians, then find their story.

Because everybody has a story, you just have to find it.

Reported: J.Lo Next American Idol Judge

Deadline Hollywood is reporting that it'll be Jennifer Lopez, former Sony recording artist (dropped recently) and star of recently unpopular movies like The Back-Up Plan will be the new American Idol judge.

Don't worry, she's still a fashion mogul and certainly not hurting for cash. She's just not flavor of the month anymore.

(And yes, in her spare time she also tours in a live-action Wayland Flowers tribute show as Madame.)

The web conventional wisdom for the last couple hours has been that the Ellen announcement cleared the way for a new judge to be named during the upcoming Fox Television Critics Assn. presentation.

Read the breaking news from Nikki Finke and Nellie Andreeva at Deadline Hollywood at this link.

Breaking News: Ellen Leaving Idol Effective Immediately

And the changes continue.

I would link to the Variety article that broke this story but alas the paywall prevents me from doing so.

All right, I'll link to it, but if you've looked at one other Variety story today and you don't subscribe you're SOL. 

Nothing at the Fox press site yet nor at 19 Entertainment.

ABC News has an AP story posted at this link but it's all of one sentence.

The Variety story basically says that Ellen was the one to pull the trigger, claiming it happen "months ago," and that she didn't like critiquing singers and "hurting their feelings."

Whatev, I didn't think it was a good fit from the get go.

Previously ... Elton as judge? How about he explain the Limbaugh wedding thing first.

More as it becomes available. And much more on this right now from AINow.org at this link.

UPDATE: The complete text of Fox's press release after the jump.

If Elton John DOES Get This American Idol Judges Seat ...

... I say none of us watch until he explains what the fuck he was doing singing at Rush Limbaugh's wedding.

He still hasn't talked about it. At all. And I'm sure someone other than me is asking, he's just not talking.

Has he heard the things that Druggy Limbaugh has said about people with HIV? About the Ryan White Care Act?

Has Jeanne White-Ginder, Ryan's mom (image left), made any public comment about this?

How about Lady Gaga?

Does Elton get a free pass.

This to me all smacks of the Whoopi Goldberg/Mel Gibson thing, that there is a class of people out there for whom ethics just don't matter. Like they're better than us and live by a different set of rules, which of course they do ... until their lives and ours intersect in that area that's known as commerce.

I just can't believe that he still hasn't stood up in front of his adopted America (he lives in Atlanta with David Furnish a lot of the time) and explained why he would take money to perform from such a pariah as Limbaugh.

Anyone interested in threatening a boycott? I want answers. It seems like the only way to get answers from people with money is to find a way to withhold said money.

David Archuleta Wrote a Book? A Memoir? Really?

Exsqueeze me, but can someone tell me what business someone this age has writing a memoir?

What's he gonna say? I'm an LDS church member and my dad's a bit of an ass?

Is there anything more?

I guess I should expect such from a pop culture that would welcome him making a Christmas album as his second release, but I still don't get what he's gonna fill a book with. And at 21 I'm sure he's not done any amount of living that would qualify for the memoir treatment. 

Yeah, yeah, I know, he partially lost his voice in 2004, at the age of 14. Not worthy for a memoir, sorry.

There are plenty of actual writers out there who have something to say, please buy their books first. But if you have to buy this one, click here to buy it from Amazon and with the tiny pittance that I get from the click I'll save it up and send him to Thailand for a weekend of inappropriate amusement.

It'll take a while though, it's really quite the small pittance, after all.

Best #Idol Finale Headline Goes to Andy Denhart at Reality Blurred

He wrote:

Lee asks, “What would you do if I sang out of tune?” Answer: Let you win American Idol 

Click the link to read his post. It is also fantastic.

(Shortest post I've ever written. Oops, now it's not. Oops, now it really isn't. I should just hit the Publish button. Done.)

My American Idol Finale Photo Album (with pics courtesy Fox Television)

Ah, the critical moment, at 9:57 (tv time) when the winner was revealed. The first of many image, click over the jump for the rest of this photo feature.

The American Idol season nine winner is Lee DeWyze during the AMERICAN IDOL GRAND FINALE 2010 at the Nokia Theatre on Weds. May 26, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. © 2010 FOX BROADCASTING CR: Vince Bucci/FOX

My Idol Thoughts

Him, not her, But don't worry. Just support Crystal's first album.

And support the album means buying it of downloading it from a site WHERE YOU PAY FOR IT!!!

I wonder if the single mom thing had something to do with it? The Idol diehard multiple voters tend to be young, female, Christian and easily influenced by their pastors.

(Do not, I repeat do NOT let your pastor influence you in untoward ways, young female Christians. When he says a bikini car wash is the only way to make enough money for that choir competition in Dallas he may be lying.)

I'm not really sure about the Christian part (but it made for a great aside), however I do know that it's mostly girls and girls vote for boys because they think they're cute. I know it isn't a cuteness contest, nothing is anymore.

(Remember the big Cuteness Rodeo Roundup in 1996 when Jonathan Lipnicki showed up to promote Jerry Maguire? Ah, good times.)

Nice to see almost all the previous Idol champs on stage. David Cook had a charity event, but the rest were there, even Ruben, even ... Taylor Hicks, that's his name (callback to a previous post).

I really thought Katrina Darrell (Bikini Girl) would pop out of a cake for Simon.

Okay, how many of you think Bret Michaels has a death wish? Dude, you need to lay down, preferably in a well-appointed hospital room.

Janet. Looked hot, couldn't hear a word she sung. But how 'bout that rockin' heinie of hers? Did you see? Would have been fun to see Paula jump on stage during Nasty. Watch them together in the video by clicking here.

Christina bored David Spade to snore levels, I concur. Okay, so he can't spell her name.

When I realized Crystal was beginning to sing Alanis' You Outta Know, I got nervous about the lyrics, it being Idol and all, and I can't believe she deigned to have the two of them sing, "Would you go down with him to the theatre." Is he the boyfriend she's fighting with or her gay bestie? I've had a lot of women go down with me to the theatre.

I fast forwarded through a lot of it, like Kris Allen and a lot of the video packages and the group numbers. I started the DVR about an hour after it started and still managed to see all I needed to see by 10 pm. And they almost ended on time. When has that ever happened?

No pics yet, they aren't on the Fox press site as of 11:47 pm pacific, so I'll post them tomorrow. In the meantime I'm gonna try to get to sleep.

Buy Crystal's album. Don't steal it. She has a kid to feed.

American #Idol Finale Lineup: Paula Rumors, #KellyClarkson & #Fantasia Duet, #Aguilera (?!?), Kris Allen

Yes, according to Damian Holbrook at TV Guide, Kelly and Fantasia in a duet and the GLAAD.org blog reports Christina Aguilera (though this surprises me as she just announced that she's canceling her Summer tour and the first single off her new album is selling only tepidly) and Kris Allen will be on hand (because I love songs sung in the key of beige).

Lee & Crystal will both perform with some big music industry heavyweight types, but they are unknown at present. And they'll sing a duet, per the Seattle Times.

And, there's a rumor that Paula Abdul might show up for Simon's final appearance.

And they'll make a big deal of Simon leaving, which as I said earlier is just foolish, because he's not going anywhere.

And, although the results show is for suckers, I do watch this one, if only for the star power.

One More Idol Post Before Tonight -- Theories from NPR (NPR?) Tip Lee (Lee?)

Here's how Linda Holmes at NPR's Monkey See blog sees it, in a nutshell. With fewer people interested in the show this year (and that's just a fact) the people who end up voting are the diehards who she purports are largely more prone to voting for a cute guy than a roundfaced young woman with dreads.

She explains:

That leaves even more of the voting to die-hards than you'd otherwise find. It's always a die-hard sort of pursuit, voting for a show like this, but the less the casual fan is paying attention, the more you leave the entire thing to power-voting superfans.

(Click that link above to see performances from last night as well.)

Linda makes a good point. Though she also makes me feel a little guilty for not devoting a whole lot of time to the show this year. Hey, Linda, you're not getting paid to guilt trip me by Nigel Lythgoe, are ya?

Honestly, I'm not feeling very guilty at all. There's so much pop culture to consume and this brand is now aging. Like any young pretty thing that lives hard it's really showing its age.

Like Lindsay Lohan, but without the inappropriate mother and the monitoring bracelet.

I gotta believe at this time next year we'll be talking about whether American Idol has jumped the shark.

@IdolOnFox? It's All Up To Us Now (but #Crystal Should be the Winner)

Okay, so no one really cares as much as they used to about who wins American Idol. And that makes some sense, I guess, nine seasons in. We've seen them come and go, for every Carrie and Kelly there's a Ruben and a ... who was that Soul Patrol guy again?

No matter, he'll be opening a new AM/PM MiniMart  somewhere and someone will write about it and I'll remember.

But geez, there's no there there this year. As much as I think Crystal gets the win I can't get really excited about her or Lee or about Simon leaving.

Simon's not really going anywhere, of course. It's the same ol' act, just a different show. Idol, X-Factor, tomato, to-mah-to.

Not sure I can care about this any less? Watch me.

Can't say I watched the whole show, I fast forwarded through the garbage and just watched the performances.

Best performance?  Will Young. And he's not competing. Still trying to make it in the US, though, bless his heart (and Simon's). I just don't think it's gonna happen for Will here, as much as I enjoy his voice.

It's all over but for the counting of the votes. They do count the votes, right? They don't just decide amongst themselves backstage by tossing a coin or ... their craft services catered lunch, do they?

Yeah, I'm just not ... into it anymore. It's not the best way or even a good way to find the next pop superstar, but it does make for a lot of hours of TV. And so will X-Factor, by the way. I gotta think that the three talent shows they will have running concurrently will put a serious dent in original comedy and original drama development.

And that's almost as bad as putting Jay on every night at 10.

Almost as bad.

#Idol Pumps #DeWyze, Throws Casey to the Dogs, Challenges Crystal

So last night I watched some of Idol. Not the hometown video packages or the introductions because that's almost as much of a waste of time as the results show, which as we have all learned ... everybody join in ... "is for SUCKERS!!!"

(Which, of course, I won't be watching. But you suckers go ahead and tune in.)

When I saw Lee come out for his second number and then realized it was gonna be the Leonard Cohen Hallelujah ... with choir no less ... I just kinda exhaled and slumped.

 The fix was in.

I hate when they do this. There's always a moment each season (maybe more than one, I only watch a little of the show, as little as I can to discuss the performers with some intelligence) where you can see how they're manipulating the audience to ramp up the excitement.

Did he do a better job than stony ol' Jason Castro from season 7? Yeah. Did it eclipse the most recent big public performance of the song, by k.d. lang at the Vancouver Olympics? Not a chance, of course.

I would have been wary of the comparison there. You can do that yourself by clicking here and watching k.d. perform the song, albeit not from the Olympics (they have YouTube cops preventing their content from being uploaded, which imho is so antithetical to the spirit of the Games). the version here is from the 2005 Juno Awards.

Casey chose one ho-hum song for himself and then the judges picked John Mayer's Daughters for him to sing, which didn't come close to the drama of Lee's second song nor Crystal's cover of Maybe I'm Amazed, the McCartney tune, which was her second and best of the night (better than her version of Melissa Etheridge's Come to My Window which I think was also a song choice mistake because she's too similar vocally to Melissa).

It was nice to see Crystal get away from the mic and the instrument and work the stage on her second song.

I'm guessing Casey's going home tonight. It's okay, he'll get a record deal ... he's awfully scrummy.

That leaves Lee and Crystal in the finale I think, and it'll come down to song choice and how much the judges push for Lee in a one-on-one with Crystal.

America, you are easily swayed by authority figures, even in the form of TV talent show judges.

Hey, let's recreate the Milgram experiements from Yale with just American Idol voters and see what happens!

Idol Results Show Shortened for 2011, Was it Something I Said?

Reports today from the Fox upfront presentation that they plan to shorten the Idol results show to a half hour.

Even at a half hour, though, as I always say, "The results show is for suckers!" Especially if you live on the left coast, as I do. 

I can't even be in the same room as my wi-fi connection without results downloading into my brain without my permission, so why would I sit and watch the damn results show when I can just log on and get the answers?

However the usual one hour long Tuesday show will be expanded to 90 minutes next year, so you can get your fill of Ford commercials and Coca-Cola glasses sitting in front of what Kara would call her and "the guys."

(Ellen, why do you put up with her/that anyway? I'd throttle her, bikini body or not.)

They'll start the evening on Wednesdays with the new Martha Plimpton fronted single-camera family comedy Raising Hope from Greg Garcia (see cast above left) featuring Cloris Leachman and Garret Dillahunt (The 4400, T:SCC, John From Cincinnati).

The de facto lead of the show is a guy who comes out of Steppenwolf in Chicago named Lucas Neff (with Dillahunt in the image above left). Almost no solid credits short of a guest spot on A&E's The Beast in 2009 and a John Sayles film that will come out soon and co-stars Dillahunt.

You might remember seeing Plimpton is a recent episode of Fringe as a rural sherriff helping Peter Bishop out with a rash of shape shifters. She's spent a lot of time recently on stage, she's garnered three straight Tony Award noms starting in 2007 for the Tom Stoppard trilogy The Coast of Utopia. Great to see a very talented actress (and not just a hot body with a publicist) getting some series work.

Idol has launched (or attempted to launch) a bunch of hour long shows for the network, now it can do something for a comedy with a great cast. I hope it's smart and I hope it works.

In the long term, however, these shows have to stand on their own. I hope the network learned its lesson with 'Til Death.

And I hope we never see that show again.

Of course this all begins this coming January and things change all the time in the TV biz. A lot can happen before then.

Video -- Idol Finalist Constantine Maroulis on Times Square Bomb, Rock Of Ages National Tour

I just love this guy. You can have your Daughtry and your David Cook and spend your days wondering what Ruben is doing these days but I very much enjoy the Constantine Maroulis, who is back in NYC from a mini-vacay (I follow him on Twitter) and is about to lead the national tour of Rock of Ages, which he's been doing on Broadway at the Brooks Atkinson.

Everyone I talk to who's seen it has had a great time. It's not Ibsen, it's not Sondheim, but it's two big hair hours of metal hits and musical comedy and if it shows up anywhere near me I'll be getting tix.

Here he talks to ABC News Now (the overnight show) about the Times Square car bomb attempt, the tour and what's going on with him.

Check it out by clicking here. Check out his personal site at this link.

#Idol Top 6 -- My Annual Return to America's Karaoke Krackup

I'm ba-a-ack!

And, quickly, let's go over the rules of how I watch American Idol. I start with the top six. I can't stand the weeks of humiliation opening event where Simon eats babies from coast to coast and the producers of the show enable crazy people who think they can be stars.

It's just not for me, it seems mean.

I also don't bother with any of the histrionics that go on in the early rounds in Hollywood. Too many to follow, like watching March Madness when you've only had access to the Pac 10 on TV all season. Just. Too. Much.

I watch some of the host-panel banter, and I did linger a little because it was my first time seeing Ellen on the show, but I try to avoid Kara, Seacrest and Cowell. I'll watch some of the mentor package that airs before the song.

I watch the song.

I don't watch the panel chat ... unless that is there's a compelling reason, like wondering what a comedian and talk host could possibly say that would add to the proceedings.

BTW, the answer to that for me is, "Not much. Not enough. And, she really looks tired."

We go contestant by contestant after the jumperoo, please join me.

Things #MileyCyrus Can Teach @AmericanIdol Top 11 When She "Mentors" Them This Week

a) How great Auto-tune is (LINK)

b) How to work the pole (LINK, I still love how she thanks God after working the pole, totally appropriate, right?).

I got nothing else, do you? Leave a comment below if you do.

Once again very happy that I don't start watching till they reach the top six. Who will they be? I have no idea, the only name I know from the show is Crystal's, Bowersox is a really memorable last name.

Remember, now that Idol is gone from your Thursday schedule I expect you to return to Community and Parks and Recreation and 30 Rock (if you can't bear The Office like me, that's okay).

TV.com re #AmericanIdol: "Let’s Get It On Already"

See, this is why I don't watch the early rounds ... from their Matthew Jaffe:

Dear God, where is Dr. Conrad Murray when you really need him? Last night was a veritable "Man In the Mirror"-athon as male singer after male singer resurrected Michael’s ghost. That is, when they weren’t showing the importance of being earnest a la Jason Mraz's “I’m Yours.”

“Seventy-one lives are on the line, all trying to achieve the same end,” intoned Seacrest, with a solemnity more appropriate to a Russian submarine disaster or a hostage crisis. And Idol’s producers did turn this latest round of cuts into a kind of siege. They rounded up contestants, divided them, and then left them to await their fates for an eternity in brightly lit rooms with no chairs to sit on.

Who decided that a lack of furniture makes for good television? What about the product placement opportunities? And the carpeting was so garish that it looked as if it was designed to induce seizures. Was this Hollywood Week or Guantanamo Getaway?

This is why I wait until the top six, by that point the show isn't so keen on humiliating these poor kids. Of course, with six left there's less humiliating to do. I just can't bare it.

There are always some disqualification horror stories that come with the announcement of the Top 24, the LA Times Idoltracker blog has details from this season at this link.

I'll check in on coverage from time to time before I start watching in April.

#AmericanIdol Format Tweak -- "Some" of Top 24 To Be Announced Tomorrow

The panel will deliberate before the cameras tomorrow night and choose some of what I'm guessing will be the easier calls for the Top 24. An effort to tamp down some of this Olympics fervor on another channel? Maybe.

(In primetime Tuesday NBC will have the Men's Figure Skating Short Program, which has the potential to steal some eyes away from Idol, I do believe.)

Of course, I don't show up until the Top 6, as is my tradition for the last few years, with minor incursions beforehand for anything Sanjaya-esque. You don't wanna be missing something like that, even if you have to listen to some bad singing of tired pop hits to experience it.

You know, I was just sitting here trying to come up with the name of the guy who won the thing last year and I just blanked. Yet I can describe for you in detail that hairstyle sported by the keyboard player that had Adam Lambert's tongue stuck down his throat during the America Music Awards. That event, in retrospect, seems to have worked out for the guy, huh?

Oh, Kris Allen. That's right. Hey, has his album come out yet? It has? Haven't heard one song from that album play on the radio. Ever. I'm guessing this is the hit (LINK) after doing some research, listening to it now ... for the first time.

I should at least record it Tuesday to see how Ellen's holding up. BTW, does Ellen just being there prevent Simon and Ryan for alleging the other is a girlyman? Is that why she's there? I still can't figure out that one out.

From the Fox press release:

In an American Idol first, some of the Top 24 semifinalists will be revealed in a special two-hour event airing Tuesday, Feb. 16 (8:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on Fox.

On Tuesday evening, the remaining contestants will take the stage to perform their final solo number in front of Simon, Ellen, Kara and Randy in hopes of singing their way into the Top 24. Following these performances, the judges will deliberate, and for the first time in Idol history, will announce some of the Top 24 semifinalists.

More? There's always AmericanIdol.com for the official version of things, and after that those who are so disposed (you might enjoy seeing a woman's ribcage through her skin) can click over to Maxim to see Judge Kara's new photo shoot (one tame image from the set here to the right) complete with Coca Cola product placement, or watch the video right here by clicking this link.

Hey, here's an idea for replacing Simon next year, just hire this guy (LINK).

And maybe if you've got a moment, explain to me what is so unlikeable about Kara. I can't really put my finger on it but I don't feel her, at all. 

Video -- Idol! Ellen! Oooh! Click Here NOW! Dance Crew! Randy! Watch NOW!

So, let me take the opportunity to say ...

Dear Ellen,

Welcome to America Idol. I'll see you when it's six weeks out. I don't really care until then.

Have a good time, don't let Simon get the best of you and remind Ryan that the only life worth living is one where you can be true to yourself.

(Know what I mean?)

Thanks.

Yours,

Joe, Your TV Junkie

Your first look at Ellen on the Idol stage is viewable by clicking here.

Has anyone warmed to Kara yet? No? I didn't think so.

Dawg? Yes, Dawg. There, I mentioned Randy, so no one can feel dissed. Hey, speaking of Randy, there's a new episode of Dance Crew on MTV this Thursday at 9.

Best li'l reality competition show on the air, broadcast or cable.

Check out a clip introducing you to the Blueprint Cru (image left) from Montreal by clicking here. This show has the most talented dancers on TV, bar none, and I'm talking at you, pointless reality competition dance show on Fox.

And obviously you too, ridiculous celebrities learn to ballroom dance show on ABC.

Watch the whole episode from last night by clicking here.

Simon Says ... And The TV Industry Jumps! Inside Cowell's X-Factor Deal

I missed yesterday's big TV event in Pasadena. It happened during the Fox TCA event when Simon Cowell came on stage unannounced to declare he would be bring his UK hit The X-Factor to the US in 2011.

(I was invited but "something suddenly came up.")

Apparently, per THR, there was some hesitation backstage as final points were hashed out, but then Cowell came forward and told the crowd of reporters and others that the deal was struck. The X-Factor, which just ended its run on Britain's ITV last month, is another singing competition show and there are some differences between it and American Idol, which Cowell will be leaving for this show.

But that doesn't really matter here, what matters is that Simon Cowell is a TV star and if Fox wanted to continue to be in the Simon Cowell business they had to pick up X-Factor before it went to NBC, a network Cowell has a relationship with through America's Got Talent.

NBC could have ended up with a hot format, a solid competition show (which they currently lack) and a global celebrity as part of the family. They got none of that.

More on this after the jumperoo.

UPDATED: Today Show Video -- Idol. Ellen?

UPDATE: Mike Birbiglia tweeted this post, at this link. Birbigs, you made my day!

Really.

I don't get this.

Why not Howie Mandel? Or Henriette Mantel. Or Mike Birbiglia. Or Shecky Green.

Yes, I checked. Shecky Green is still alive.

What's just weird about this is that now not one of the Idol judges is a trained singer or has had a pop hit as a solo act.

"Those who can't, judge?"

Press release from Fox:

“I could not be more excited to have Ellen join the AMERICAN IDOL family,” said creator and executive producer Simon Fuller. “Ellen has been a fan of the show for many years, and her love of music and understanding of the American public will bring a unique human touch to our judging panel. I can’t wait for this next season to begin.”

 

“We’re all delighted to have Ellen join our ninth season of AMERICAN IDOL,” said executive producer Cecile Frot-Coutaz. “Beyond her incredible sense of humor and love of music, she brings with her an immense warmth and compassion that is almost palpable. She is one of America ’s foremost entertainers, and we cannot wait to have her join our team.”

 

Mike Darnell, President of Alternative Entertainment for FOX added, “We are thrilled to have Ellen DeGeneres join the AMERICAN IDOL judges’ table this season. She is truly one of America ’s funniest people and a fantastic performer who understands what it’s like to stand up in front of audiences and entertain them every day. We feel that her vast entertainment experience – combined with her quick wit and passion for music – will add a fresh new energy to the show.”

Well ... okay. What about knowing something about singing, though?

Am I wrong? Isn't this kinda strange?

Today show report on this development after the jump.

Idol: Lambert Fans Salute Him w/Jockstraps, Hudson a Mom, Cowell Makes More $$$

You're gonna love this (NY Times):

“Should I show her this?” one young woman wondered out loud to her friend, nodding at the item of clothing in her hand.

“No,” her friend replied, shaking her head vigorously. “No.”

And no, Leila Lambert probably wasn’t interested in a white jockstrap with pink lettering on it, a tribute to her son Adam, the runner-up on the “American Idol” season that ended in May.

Well, at least that fan knows he'll find out about it now that the Times wrote about it. That's something. Pink lettering? Nice touch.

My artist's rendering below. All rights reserved. This may become a hot item.

And, Adam's getting some bras, too. Which is fine, but ... what, no internet in your town? No Rolling Stone? No local paper? Or maybe they come from middle aged gay Seinfeld fans.

Imagine your mom coming to you with a bag and saying, "Here are all the jockstraps that boys threw at the stage tonight." Awkward!

Jon Caramanica's review seems to indicate that he's still pretty sure the wrong guy won, but that's okay because most fans are coming out to see Adam. Kinda feel bad for Kris, who isn't a bad guy and under other circumstances would be perceived as a perfectly find Idol champion.

Then he was saddled with the first single from hell and besides, he ran smack into a cultural phenomenon in Lambert.

Yet he won. Which makes you wonder about the Idol voting once again. But why would people take time out of their day to vote against a young man competing in a talent contest because they didn't approve of the gender of people he was attracted to unless they were very small minded and spiteful?

Oh. I see.

Onto other things: Raise you hand if you knew Jennifer Hudson was pregnant before today. Hands?

More on this and Simon's new deal after the jump.

Are Idol Producers, Fox & Paula Scamming Us To Boost Fall ... Dance Ratings?

Fact: Fox's So You Think You Can Dance is gearing up for their first Fall season series of shows, starting Sept. 29 with a two-hour premiere.

Fact: The competition is tough especially considering the demo, with the CW having 90210 and Melrose on Tuesdays and ABC already having Dancing that night, albeit a results show.

(And as I've always told you, results shows are for ... everyone ... SUCKERS!)

Fact: Even on Wednesday, CW has Top Model and their new models in NYC scripted show The Beautiful Life ready to eat up the teen demo.

Fact: Both Idol and SYTYCD produced by 19 Productions and Fremantle, which you never hear about when they talk about Paula's possible move to the other show.

So, you'll correct me if I'm wrong (use the comments) but why would Paula turn down the Idol offer and then turn around and sign a lesser deal for the Fall season of the dance show with the same producers?

And correct this as well but don't we have it documented that the Idol travel schedule during the audition phase is a series downside for Paula because of her dance injuries?

So, wouldn't putting Paula in a judge's chair for the Fall season of the dance show and then have her turn around and be able to come to an agreement with 19 and Fremantle to return to Idol after the auditions be just the most advantageous situation for all involved?

Or am I just wearing a big conspiracy hat?

It totally sounds like something someone at Fremantle would cook up to juice the ratings for SYTYCD this Fall. It's plausible, showy and most important, a PR ploy that keeps on giving till Idol returns in January.

TV.com Analysis of Paula Depature from Idol: "Maybe it's Time to Let This Thing Die Gracefully"

Richard Lawson at TV.com:

Idol is a populist sensation because it has, for the most part, managed to successfully tread the thin line between friendly entertainment and cruel public shaming. If it teeters too far in one direction -- as it might without the tone poem platitudes of Paula -- it stands to lose its mind-bogglingly broad appeal. America is a country of contradictions, of checks and balances. Letting Simon steamroll through and be mean while Randy and Kara snivelingly chase after his coattails seems to snap that tightrope.

Of course, also, we could be placing way too much importance on the Paula Effect. Truth be told, she's mostly nice for the sake of niceness, at the expense of actually saying words that mean anything. And while Randy is surely the dullest of the original three, Paula's dribbling dreaminess was a fascinating trainwreck sometimes, sure, but it was also frequently irksome and boring. So maybe Idol will be leaner and meaner without her, more aerodynamic without its flapping rambler.

As you know, I hardly watch the show anymore. They get me for the final seven weeks, usually -- one to get a feel for the show and then I blog about the final six. And, I don't really pay attention to the judges, especially Simon and Paula.

Paula's a dancer and choreographer that got lucky with some songs that fit in her vocal range and had great videos attached in the late 80s and 90s. She's no singing sensation, and that comes from someone who bought the records and danced to them at clubs (before the State of California passed specific legislation banning me from dancing in public ... it caused spontaneous fits of laughter that caused all kinds of problems).

Not that I'm a fan of Kara, either, but at least she's a musician, although I still shake my head at that song she wrote for the finale. Other of her songs, including the Kelly Clarkson hit I Don't Hook Up are solid pop songs, though.

Lawson's final remarks at TV.com? "Either way, we can be sure that if Paula does indeed jump off the disco bandwagon and stumble off into the sunset, Idol will be a much different animal next season. That loud creaking and groaning you hear might be your house settling, sure, but it also might be the telltale sounds of an old warhorse facing its inevitable doom."

And let's face it, it will die eventually. Everything does. Shall we start the over/under betting on the final season of Idol?

Video -- Logo's Big Gay Sketch Show Pays Tribute to Paula Abdul; I Offer Lauryn Hill To Guest on Idol

But first, New York Mag's Vulture blog was at the press event that I missed today and apparently there still might be a window open for Paula to return.

I love the announcement of Posh Spice as a guest judge. Might as well just make her a judge on Top Chef, though, dontcha think?

And Katy Perry's song choices show an interesting point of view and I like her kitschy wardrobe, but I'm not really feeling her as a live performer, as I mentioned before.

You know who'd be great? Lauryn Hill. They should try her out. It would really open up the show and bring a very different viewpoint to the panel. Then again, Hill's professional behavior hasn't been the best lately. She canceled all her scheduled European tour dates in June and I don't see that she has anything upcoming.

According to multiple sources, her last public appearance was at a Martha Stewart book signing in Jersey, per Rolling Stone. And there's proof, right there on your computer screen.

On the other hand, maybe a move away from the east coast for a while and the regimentation of a TV show schedule is just the thing that Hill needs to find an artist's discipline again and come back with some new studio work.

I'm just sayin'.

(Funny that Paula Abdul was there, too, huh? She really overdressed for a book signing at a Barnes & Noble. She's tiny.)

Clip after the jump.

Idol Judge Paula -- Resigned, not Re-Signed (Allegedly)

It makes no never mind to me, anyway, but I thought you'd wanna know that Paula Abdul has apparently quit by Twitter. I don't really know if this news is gonna stick but I'm going with it because, you know, zeitgeist and all and ...

First tweet:

With sadness in my heart, I’ve decided not to return to #IDOL. I’ll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all..Cont'd...

Second tweet:

I’ll miss nurturing all the new talent,but most of all being a part of a show that I helped from day1become an international phenomenon.

Third tweet:

What I want to say most, is how much I appreciate the undying support and enormous love that you have showered upon me

Fourth tweet:

It truly has been breathtaking, especially over the past month

Fifth tweet:

I do without any doubt have the BEST fans in the entire world and I love you all

That's it. So far. Final tweet about 14 hours ago. Do you believe it? I'm not sure I'll believe this isn't just juice for the publicity machine until January when the show comes back. Lots can happen in the meantime.

And there's no confirmation coming my way from Fox and I'm on just about every distribution list that they have. I'm in Pasadena at the Fox Television Critics Assn. session tomorrow and we'll see what they say there. I still believe this is a last minute down to the wire negotiation ploy.

Don't rule out a hail mary pass from either side. Like I said, things happen. Big, loud, dramatic things. Hope I see something unplanned and spontaneous at the press event tomorrow. I love rich people drama, I'm so divorced from it that it makes me laugh.

Idol News -- Kara's Back. Paula? Uh, Paula?

That's Kara Dio Guardi on the left, the one without the brand new breast implants.

(Sorry, Bikini Girl, but when you go that big that fast everyone notices.)

Okay, okay, you signed new girl back. That's fine and all, but don't, please don't let her write a song for the finalists this year.

No Boundaries? No Taste was more like it. And, no mention of the song in the press release that announces her signing. Good move, Fox.

Now, what about Paula? Check her Twitter page for the latest. Click here.

Paula's meme: Her not getting the offer she wants is disrespectful.

Call her bluff. Please, please, call her bluff.

Truly Idol Banter -- Will Abdul's Manager Cancel "Paula's Party"?

Oh, man, when this is all over and Paula straightens out (because she won't have the money to not be straightened out) she is gonna be pissed! And this manager of hers will be gone.

(Then maybe she'll license the songs off the Forever Your Girl album to a Broadway producer for a musical, which I think would be a great idea -- it's my idea, of course. I came up with it about three years ago. I have the book written in my head. It's not a Pulitzer Prize winner or anything, but in light of the success of Rock of Ages, and think it might work. Listen to the album again and tell me you couldn't fashion a love story out of those songs.)

Rolling Stone is reporting on their Rock 'n' Roll Daily blog that David Sonnenberg, the mgr. in question, is lashing out at 19 Entertainment and the producers, say that her not being signed at this point is "rude and disrespectful" (link).

So is showing up looped to do a TV show. Notice I didn't say she was high or medicated or camera (because they don't drug test before the show, though maybe they should), I just said she was looped. Or loopy, if you will.

That shows disrespect for the public and for the production.

And, remember that Ladies' Home Journal article from during the Idol season? Remember how she told them she had a major drug problem and then once they went to press completely denied the entire interview?

 Maybe she was somewhat impaired and couldn't remember saying those things?

To me, neither Paula nor new girl with bad finale song add anything to the show. Simon, Randy? Yes. Paula, Kara ... I'm done.

And I don't care how much I like the Kara co-written Kelly Clarkson hit I Don't Hook Up, that other song was an abomination.

In fact, I know for a fact that the world's orbit changed as Kris sang that song on the air due to every classical composer ever spinning in their graves.

My take on all this is that Sonnenberg is just blowing smoke.

Musical Crapfest from Idol Judge Kara Struck from Live Show

So, does that mean that it won't be on Kris Allen's first album? Because that would be a really good idea.

I don't think it was released as a CD single. I don't think they do that anymore. When Kelly won, I ran out and bought that CD single of A Moment Like This and Before Your Love, had to visit three stores till I found one that still had copies.

It was before I had an iPod.

We can all agree that this song was probably the worst of the Idol finale ballads, right? Remarkably hokey and Kris doesn't have the range for it anyway.

You can click over to the Popeater.com story and hear the song again, if you must.

Why would you do that? Don't you like yourself?

Simon Cowell, The $144,000,000 Dollar Man?

So, how much is Simon worth to Fox and the Idol producers? Purportedly (or reportedly, I should say, NY Daily News) the low nine figures:

"American Idol's" blunt Brit may make up to $144 million to slap down contestants next season, according to the UK's Guardian.

The paper reports on its Web site that talent judge Simon Cowell earned $36 million last season, and a source close to "Idol" creater Simon Fuller says he has been offered three to four times as much.

(Looked for the Guardian piece, couldn't find it. If you can, please send me a link.)

Is he worth it? Would you not watch Idol without him? And, if he wasn't on Idol, don't you think he would run out and find a network partner to put together his own version?

I certainly do. It's basically what happened in the UK, isn't it? While Pop Idol (the UK AI) met its death, Cowell turned around and plowed forward with a couple of talent contests, I believe, with Britian's Got Talent being the one that stuck.

So, if I were Fox, and especially given Simon's relationship with NBC, where he produces but does not appear on camera in America's Got Talent, I would consider opening the vault.

Lane Brown commenting at NY Magazine:

We would point out that this is an insane sum of money that tops the amounts raised for Africa by either 2007's or 2008's Idol Gives Back telethons, but we're already sick of the clown judges on So You Think You Can Dance and America's Got Talent and since AI pulls down $900 million a year anyway, $140 million seems like a perfectly reasonable price for Simon. Also, paying out that much might make it difficult to employ four judges next season, and we'd totally approve of one losing her job.

Yeah, just give Simon the money Fox has been paying Kara and be off with her, okay? Then everybody's happy.

Idol Winner Kris Allen on Judges Cowell, Jackson: "They Pee Like Us"

From the Hollywood Reporter website, some interview footage of Kris Allen reliving some moments from the experience, including a bathroom visit with the aforementioned judges before his audition.

LINK

Video -- Adam Lambert on 20/20: "First Love, First Date, First Kiss ... I Didn't Have Any of That"

Yes, Adam, I've been there too, dude. Well, almost. My senior year brought a couple of drive-in-movie dates with a young woman that got somewhat frisky but there was still something seriously missing ... like my enjoyment of the whole thing.

In this interview with ABC's Chris Connelly he also talks about the random makeout with a girl. Do I think that his female fans should be placing bets on conversion? No. We all go through this at his age.

Okay, we've learned more about him here but I think this should be the end of the press thing. The next time we see Adam on video it should be his first music video.

There's a risk here of him becoming a curiosity instead of an artist. I don't want that to happen. The very next time you hear about Adam Lambert on this blog will be when I post that first clip for his first song.

Or something big like that.

There's an official site now, and it has a welcome message from him.

Click here for that. Interview clip after the jump.

Adam Lambert's Rolling Stone Cover: "I’m Proud of My Sexuality," See Photo Shoot Video Now!

For those of you who are more visually focused, here's a link to the photo shoot video. Cover photo by Matthew Rolston.

From the preview of the article at the magazine's Rock&Roll Daily blog:

The flamboyant Idol singer hits our cover and bares all, talking about his childhood (”I started to realize I wasn’t like every other boy,” he says), the drug-fueled Burning Man epiphany that led him to AI (”I realized that we all have our own power, and that whatever I wanted to do, I had to make happen,” he tells RS) and his run on the show (”I was like, ‘I’m going to glue rhinestones on my eyelids, bitch!’ “). And yes, he talks about his sexuality. “Right after the finale, I almost started talking about it to the reporters, but I thought, ‘I’m going to wait for Rolling Stone, that will be cooler,’ ” he tells us. “I didn’t want the Clay Aiken thing and the celebrity-magazine bullshit. I need to be able to explain myself in context.

“I’m proud of my sexuality,” Lambert adds. “I embrace it. It’s just another part of me.” Ultimately, however Lambert tells RS contributor Vanessa Grigoriadis that there are other parts of his life that he’s trying to keep front and center. “I’m trying to be a singer, not a civil rights leader,” he says.

It was that mission — and his Burning Man “psychedelic experience” — that lead him to Idol after years in musical theater. “I knew that it was my only shot to be taken seriously in the recording industry, because it’s fast and broad,” he tells RS.

Check your newsstand for the issue, glossy pics that you can paste over your bed or in your cubicle, etc.

Do the kids still do that?

Reported: Adam Lambert Will Come Out on Upcoming Rolling Stone Cover

Which made me think of these Dr. Hook lyrics:

And we keep getting richer but we cant get our picture
on the cover of the Rolling Stone

Rolling Stone ... wanna see my picture on the cover
Stone ... wanna buy 5 copies for my mother
Stone ... wanna see my smilin face on the cover of the Rolling Stone.

On the cover of the Rolling
Wanna see my picture on the cover
wanna buy 5 copies for my mother
wanna see my smilin face on the cover of the Rolling Stone.

Maybe Adam might exchange the word lover for mother in these lyrics.

HuffPo:

'American Idol' runner-up Adam Lambert is not only openly gay, he is planning a Rolling Stone cover to confirm it after months of speculation, reports the NY Post.

'Idol' judge Kara DioGuardi is on a pretaped 'View' airing Friday, and during her sit-down she says he is out.

"I don't think that Adam was ever in [the closet]," she tells the ladies. "I think he was always openly out."

Now, let's a work together, Idol fans, and help Adam (and all the rest of us) get the right now marry.

Rolling Stone website (nothing there yet on this) at this link. Bookmark it and check with them for the cover image.

TV.com: "Did American Idol Get It Right?" That Depends on What "It" Is

Tim Surett at TV.com:

Questions will be asked all day by Idol fans about the validity of Fox's show and the mindset of the show's voters--the American people. Is the voting legit? Did America get it right? Do voters favor the "safe" contestant? And the million-dollar question: are Americans afraid to vote for a gay Idol? (To be clear, Lambert's sexuality has not yet been disclosed, but rumors have persisted all season.)

In the end, the real winner here is Simon Fuller's 19 Management, the artist management company that gets first pick of the American Idol contestants post-competition. There's no doubt that both Allen and Lambert will be groomed to have successful careers--Lambert is one of the most beloved runners-up and Allen has the title. But this result favors 19 Management better than a Lambert landslide. Lambert's popularity wasn't going to wane with a second-place finish, but Allen's could have. Now that Allen can be marketed as a "champion"--boom!--more album sales, and Lambert will do just fine as runner-up.

That's certainly a way to look at it, but it doesn't really answer the question about what "it" entails.

We hear all season (well you hear all season, I don't start watching till the final six) that it's "the search for the next pop star." And, if that's the case the people who voted Kris to the top actually did get "it" right.

Doesn't mean I like him more than Adam, it means he's better suited to pop stardom. Not because of who he sleeps with while he's not singing, TV.com and others, but because his sound is much more accessible than Adam's.

And while I like Adam for the risk taking and being unflappably himself through the Idol gauntlet complete with the press and the prodding into the personal life and the constant spotlight, the music he performed on the show is for a much more specific audience.

That he got as far as he did, to me, is pretty amazing. Also amazing? That you can understand the lyrics he's singing at the pitch he's singing them. That just blew me away, it's hard to enunciated at the top of one's range.

But if you played me an Adam Lambert album and then a Kris Allen album and offered me one I think I'd probably choose Kris' CD.

But what do I know, I'm about to time out of the 18- to 49-year-old demographic.

Photo credit: Ray Mickshaw/FOX

Gawker Reports on Clay Aiken Trashing Idol, Lambert (and strangely not his own failing career)

I'm not paying thirty bucks to visit Clay's official blog and web forum, certainly.

Someone who wrote to Gawker did, though, and they have all the scoop from that disgruntled reader.

Including ...

I only turn the show on once a season ... Idol is not always a matter of musical taste only. It's about the person you like. From what little I saw, Kris seemed likable. (That's not to say that Adam isn't just as likable as anyone.. maybe more so... I don't know) When Ruben and I were standing next to each other every night (many years ago) you had two equally talented, equally unlikely, equally unpolished contestants.... so it really was a matter of taste as to who was voted for. While some may argue that one of us was hyped more than the other, I don't feel that was the case. However, this year, there was an obvious bias. Not even having watched the show, I can tell you that I was WELL aware of the bias from the judges as to who should win.

Get that? Watched it once, and he can tell you that he was WELL (his caps) aware of the bias from the judges.

That's okay Clay, I saw you once on TV and realized that you were a closet case that was suited only to make elevator music for middle-aged women who had nothing else to do but defend your purported heterosexuality for years until some tabloid report forced you out of said closet and onto the Broadway stage in a role that was not suited to your talents.

And I say that after watching you much more than once.

Of course, this might have something to do with the Bill Zwecker/Chicago Sun-Times article from May 12 that this Gawker post also links to that reports:

Though it looks likely Adam Lambert will be the next ''American Idol'' winner, ex-''Idol'' runner-up Clay Aiken already is reaching out to Lambert -- looking to team up with the edgy singer for a possible duets album and concert tour.

That was just one reason for the backstage tension on the ''Idol'' set in Hollywood last week, when Aiken showed up unannounced but expecting the VIP treatment. ''I don't know why Clay felt that way,'' said a show staffer who has been on board since the reality talent show was launched. ''Everyone knows -- and certainly Clay knows -- he's persona non grata around here.''

The reason for the ''Idol'' folks' lack of affection for Aiken is related to his being the first show contestant to dump 19 Entertainment, the management company that handles all the recording deals, merchandising, tours, sponsorship, film deal and virtually all aspects of all things ''American Idol''-related.

''And not only did he drop 19 Entertainment, but everyone knows he also talked Kelly Clarkson into dropping us, too,'' said the staff member.

Ah, the ulterior motive rears its ugly head. Clay, that's no way to keep the middle-aged women who have already suffered enough from your lengthy coming out process out there buying your CDs and seeing you perform.

And about those CDs, whose gonna put them out now that your RCA deal has ended?

I think someone's watching his career go south and is trying to remain relevant. Good luck with that.

American Idol and "That Damned Song" -- Why ?

Every year there's a song. You and I sit in anticipation in front of our TVs every year and wonder what piece of drek the producers of the show are going to foist upon its two shining stars, effectively hampering their careers in what I can only presume is a scheme to collect a little more coin for the Idol war machine in publishing fees.

It's never a good song. It's just never, ever a decent song. Usually a cloying, faux-emotional ballad with room for melismatic flourishes and a hopeful lyric.

What I don't get is why this entertainment juggernaut that (sometimes) creates big pop music careers for unknowns would risk all that build-up of said unknowns on songs that not only aren't right for the performers but aren't good songs.

This year the song is called No Boundaries. Have you read the lyrics? Here's a taste, Rickey.org transcribed them:

When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you’ve almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand and show you that you can

You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you
B-reak every rule coz there’s nothing between you
and your dreams

Isn't it great that they found a junior high school girl to write them?

Kidding.

Sadly.

And the music? I've seen written this morning that it's written for someone with a higher voice than Kris Allen, which isn't really the case. When you listened to Kris sing it last night you would have noticed that it was too low and too high for him. The range of the song was just outside his skillset, though Adam with that freaky upper register had no problem.

But there's the rub for me. If you're looking for the next pop star, one only needs to look at all the other pop stars to realize that none of them have that kind of range. So, why require that to win the contest? I dunno.

The song wasn't really right for either of them. And it's the song that will be one of those guys' first single. Why would you hamstring a singer's career by having him come out of the gate with a crappy song.

With all the money the show makes they can't have a few songwriting teams working on stuff during the season with the top 12 in mind? I don't buy that.

Notice I didn't even mention that the song was written by the annoying new girl (as well as Cathy Dennis and Mitch Allan) which really isn't a good thing for her, considering that TVGuide.com recently noted:

Nearly 60 percent of TVGuide.com voters want American Idol to dump Kara DioGuardi from the judges' table.

Though the newcomer has brought some credible music industry insight to the panel, 59 percent of TVGuide.com voters would rather the show not renew DioGuardi's one-season contract, arguing that four judges are too many.

Among all the changes made to Idol this season, the one that has been the most hotly debated is DioGuardi's addition. Earlier this season, the judges' commentary forced Idol to run eight minutes long, interrupting Fringe and upsetting millions of DVR viewers. A week later, each contestant was only critiqued by two judges instead of the entire panel.

Six percent of voters believe a fourth judge isn't a bad idea, but they would prefer someone other than DioGuardi next season. DioGuardi has fans as well. Thirty-five percent of voters suggest that the new judge has added value to the show.

This doesn't help her. At all.

However, this morning just about anyone who's anyone connected to the show has stated that she stays, despite her presence alone requiring more talk time and less singing on this show that picks a singer, and despite the fact that the abomination of a pop song she wrote being an anchor placed around the neck of the winner of the show.

Before I end on this topic, a little visit from my conspiracy theory hat ... Did the producers bring on Kara to put pressure on Paula to clean herself up or clean herself out or whatever? And, if that Ladies Home Journal piece that Paula interviewed for and then later completely disassociated herself with is actually based in fact, did it work? And if it did work, does that mean the producers send Kara on her way eventually? Does that eventually mean next season now that Paula's shut her medicine cabinet, allegedly, per LHJ?

Too many questions.

Besides the whole Kara Kwandry (see, I can make up my own spellings of words, too!) I still don't get why this show, which does so many things so well in the marketing sphere can't see this "coronation song" problem for what it is.

There's just gotta be a better way. You got one? Use the comments and tell me about it.

UPDATED: Idol, Quickly

UPDATE: Well how 'bout that? Allison? I never thought Allison would get voted off by her contemporaries. Makes you wonder about what the tally was, huh? Well, forget it, they'll never really tell you what the actual tally was. They don't have to, it's a TV show.

For me? Adam, Kris, Danny, Allison.

For the judges? Adam, Danny, Kris, Allison.

My bottom two prediction? Danny, Kris. Danny leaves.

Why? It's not who's the best, it's who the people who vote like the most. They looooove Allison. And Kris is very conventionally attractive and that counts. Plus I thought his cover of Come Together was hot, and he's adorable. The kids are right.

It's not really a singing contest or even so much a music contest. It's a popularity contest. Then again, during season one I was pretty sure that the fans would take Justin over Kelly, and I was wrong then, thankfully.

I'll say this, it took me at least a minute to remember Robert Plant's name after Adam finished Whole Lotta Love.

I just couldn't remember the name Robert Plant. Then again, I can look at a spoon for hours and ...

We'll see, though once again, let's say it all together this time .... "The Results Show Is For S-U-C-K-E-R-S!!!"

How to Watch American Idol on DVR -- The "Not Live" Blog

By Joe, your TV Junkie, age ... older than you.

Fast forward through the first 11 minutes, note that Jamie Foxx has a movie to promote so he's talking at Kris about his song this week from the Sinatra songbook.

Note that Kris is a cutie, yet WAY TOO YOUNG for me to be looking at like that. Nice suit, though, is that Ozwald Boateng? Suit was better than his rendition of The Way You Look Tonight.

Force yourself to watch the judges reactions, even if Randy has become the African-American bear version of Paula. I can't stand this Kara chick and OMG please move on from her. Paula's hair people always get her hair right for the week, nice sculpturing. Simon needs better clothes and stop wearing V-neck T's that look like they've been worn to bed the night before.

And, I think he has pec implants, btw.

Fast forward to 22 minutes in for Allison, I don't need to hear what Jamie Foxx has to say again. Someone to Watch Over Me is a great song for her and she's better than last week. She won't win, though, as they were scorched last year by the stupid remarks of a young Idol winner on an award show and someone with more poise will indeed win this season. Nice performance, though, even if she IS doing an impression of a band singer.

Randy, she does not sound like Pink with more octaves, she sounds her age. Still don't like Kara. Paula's still being overwritten for, as those remarks are not her off the top of her head. Simon's wrong, Allison's teen viewers will come through for her.

Fast forward to 34 minutes in for Matt singing My Funny Valentine, which is a hard sell and he's sharp right off the bat. Uninspired and I don't like the note he ends on, it's too within the chord structure and not outside as per the usual renditions.

More after the jump.