So last month I got invited to a couple of things. The first thing was the red carpet and party to celebrate the 100th ep of Family Guy, which as you know airs tonight on Fox. The other was a party at Hollywood & Highland to celebrate the return of FX's Nip/Tuck.
I know, you'll all gasping in horror.
The fact is, I have no idea what I would do at these things. First off and without a doubt, I personally don't feel that any man with a body image issue should ever volunteer to be in the same room as Julian McMahon. C'mon, the experience would send me right to a See's Candy location.
But most of all, I didn't go because I had no idea of what to do while covering a red carpet. Am I supposed to scream at the people who walk by begging that they stop by to talk to me?
And what of that? What do I have to say to these people. For example, I enjoy Alex Borstein very much, but I don't particularly need to say hello to her. Nothing personal. Maybe if I was at a friend's house and she happened to stop by I'm sure I would be gracious and more than likely flattering, but I really didn't feel the need to dress up, get in the car, drive the 40 miles to town, check in with some flak, get a badge and then stand in a designated spot where I would end up pleading with people who make television to come talk to me.
Honestly, if the truth be known, I don't really want to know these people in particular. I like watching the shows that they make, but I also enjoy meals at restaurants without having to meet the chef, know what I mean? I like the t-shirt I'm wearing, but I don't need to meet the Honduran national who stitched it.
Of course, it occurs to me that I could be missing something here, which is why I decided to write this and why I thought you (or you or you or you) might want to chime in.
Am I being stupid here? What does one do while covering a red carpet event? Would it even be worth my time?
Because if there's some purpose to it, I'll even take the chance of being within close physical proximity to Julian McMahon.