Think of Today's Joan Collins News as a Salute to Drag Queens Everywhere

Joan Collins is fabulous by any measure. ANY measure. And don't you forget this.

(Non-gays, you must remember the stronghold the TV show Dynasty had on the gay community in the 80s. I saw full grown men in leather with body hair and beards crying after the Moldavian Massacre. Video here, not of the guys in leather but of the Moldavian Massacre.)

So of course she was invited to the Vanity Fair Oscar party, and as one does (well, not me, I'm the chocolate cake guy) she starved herself a bit, squeezed herself into a lovely Georges Hobeika purple and lilac number and made her way to the party's red carpet, etc ...

So it shouldn't have been too much of a surprise when Joan started to feel somewhat lightheaded and asked her husband Percy Gibson to take her outside for some air. And that's where Joan's comments to the Daily Mail pick up (via the Hollywood Reporter).

(Note to readers: take anything that comes from the Daily Mail with a grain of salt, a grain the size of a Prius.)

"Next thing I knew, I was surrounded by some rather attractive firefighters who were asking me questions such as: ‘What's your name?' (as if they didn't know) and ‘How old are you?' (which I refused to answer)," wrote Collins, who is 77.

"Apparently, I had fainted in Percy's arms and he, in a panic, had asked security to call an ambulance -- which was roomier than Jackie's limo and, thanks to the sirens, much swifter in Hollywood traffic," she went on. "Not quite how I had expected to end this glamorous night!"

Great quote, huh? Can't speak for the veracity of it, but hell, veracity is such a cockblock when you're just looking for some good ol' Hollywood glamour.

And you must know that there have been lots of Joan Collins drag impersonators over the years who have taken one for beauty, too, so I see this as her little salute to them, to suffering for the red carpet, to squeezing into that sexy little number that just might do you in.

Still no word on a Dynasty reboot, thought we might hear some stirrings, what with Dallas coming back.

(BTW, old Dallas eps are playing regularly on CMT.)