I Am A TV Junkie

New Show Tiger Blood Adonis DNA In Development*, Will There Be a Bidding War?

An exciting premise that will no doubt be the big hit of the 2011-12 TV season, Tiger Blood Adonis DNA (TBAD) is the story of a superman in the body of a middle-aged man, a titan of a man in a body that doesn't even reach six feet. His uniquely sequenced DNA and the fact that the blood the flows thorough his veins is that of a tiger make him a weapon for justice when he adds copious amounts of alcohol and stimulants to the mixture.

With his ever-present Goddesses, two bleached blondes models of questionable repute whose use of hair care products and substance ingestion have made them impervious to the pain of constant friction, TBAD travels to the world's hotspots, places where the social order has broken down, violence rules the day and people have lost hope.

There, TBAD and his Goddesses book a suite at a local hotel and begin a process that starts with ingestion of large amounts of alcohol and cocaine. Then the three begin to engage in various sex acts at first a slow pace then becoming faster and faster and more intense.

First it's just a breeze the floats through the hotel suite but it becomes more intense, increasing in rapidity until it grows into a vortex of chemicals, sweat, other bodily fluids (which ones? name one, it's in there) always building, continually getting stronger until CRACK! -- there's a bolt of lightning, a clap of thunder and then an eery euphoria that wafts through the streets in waves and waves of relief and pleasure.

And their jobs are done. But they return to their home base to perfect and further understand their technique, letting nothing stand in their way. Putting the safety of the world ahead of any concern of brain damage, citations for operating vehicles while impared, STDs, loss of employment, tooth loss ... whatever.

Tiger Blood Adonis DNA, coming this Fall to the first network that blinks.

*In development, but only in my mind.

Five Stories You Didn't Know About Amy Poehler ... From Her Parents!

See? You think you have a problem when the folks meet the person you're dating and pull out the photo album? Imagine pulling out the photo album for the world. THE WORLD!

(You gotta click over to the story for the pics, sorry.)

Bill and Eileen Poehler talked to the Wall Street Journal today about their TV star daughter. Here's five things you probably didn't know.

1) Eileen Poehler and my Mom had something in common, they both taught their kids about sex by reading to them from a pamphlet. I would be you it was the exact same pamphlet.

2) Their favorite character of hers was Hillary Clinton. Least favorite? Amber, the one legged farting girl.

3) Amy and her brother Greg once manipulated all the clocks in the house in order to convince her parents to get up at 3:30 am on a Christmas morning.

4) Amy and a friend whose dad was a cop brought a pair of his handcuff to school with them one day, cuffed themselves to each other and then lost the key.

5) Toward the end of the interview there's this:

Do you think you have influenced her sense of humor?

EILEEN: Bill thinks he's 100-percent responsible.

BILL: I always say she gets it from me, but no one ever admits that.

EILEEN: She would prefer this interview just be me.

BILL: Amy is more nervous about this interview than she is getting up in front of millions of people. She called me and gave me a couple of test questions and I failed them all. So she said, "Dad, please just be boring."

Now, just because ... watch some of Amy from the SNL days in a Bronx Beat sketch with Maya Rudolph. Click this for that.

Parks & Rec, Thursday nights at 9:30 eastern on NBC, while it's still a broadcast network and not just a horrifying blight on our nation's bandwidth.

Five ... No, Six, Six YouTube Clips I've Been Meaning to Post from Daleks to Dog Pee

Quickly, because it's Friday night and I am to get my pimp my drink my Jimmy Choos my chocolate cake and DVR on, here they are ...

1) The trailer for the Arthur remake starring Russell Brand and Helen Mirren

2) Apparently for sale in the UK (but not here in the States), this Doctor Who-licensed ride-in Dalek.

3) In the early 90s Nickelodeon had a cartoon called Doug, which I loved. Here's a trailer for Doug: The Movie, a live-action version from Drcoolsex at YouTube.

4) Eddie Izzard is a new addition to Showtime's United States of Tara. He talked to them on video about the gig and his history. He's Eddie Frickin' Izzard, watch him now!

5) Tim Gunn previews the Oscar Red Carpet. And he's also Tim Frickin' Gunn, the man who called out Anna Wintour. He has big giant balls. Well, not literally, it would be impossible for him to dress around them.

UPDATE: I forgot the dog pee clip, so there will be a ...

6) Watch this dog pee. No, seriously, watch this, you haven't seen anything like this before. So good it was on America's Funniest Home Videos.

Can't Miss Possibly NSFW Video -- Terry Richardson DADT Shoot w/ Adult Star Francois Sagat

Terry Richardson's blog is a constant source of joy for me. Yes, he's the guy who shot the Esquire cover with the Glee kids in their undies, which I loved even if the Parents Television Council didn't.

Those people are sure to hate this. After the jump, video from the photo shoot Richardson had with gay adult film star Francois Sagat ("so hot right now" -- as Will Ferrell's Zoolander character would say) for a piece they're doing on the end of DADT.

Click over the jump for that hot stuff.

Video -- Adweek's Alan Frutkin On FX's Wilfred Pilot (Loves It) & Jason Gann and Elijah Wood

The most important thing we glean from the video is that the show goes into production in March for a Summer debut where it will be paired with the brilliant Louis C.K. series Louie.

Jason Gann and Elijah Wood also talk to Frutkin about the show's development and their characters. More new info on the show, even before the Australian TV version there was a short film that apparently did pretty well at Sundance.

Can't wait for this. I'll keep you in the loop until premiere day.

Beyonce, Mariah, Others Played for Gaddafi's Son: Finally, Some Backlash

This has been going on for a very long time now. You hear about it every New Year's Eve and when any rich person with ties to evil has a birthday party or their kids have massive Bar Mitzvah's or Sweet Sixteens.

And it's not just singers. In 2008 a bunch of actors and others showed up in Dubai for some event and they were all paid handsomely for ... well nothing, really.

Finally, though, someone is speaking out (Rolling Stone):

"When I saw Beyoncé and Usher and whoever else was out partying with these Libyan criminals … these are people who have stolen tens of billions of dollars from their nation," says Howie Klein, former president of Reprise Records who is now a prominent leftist blogger. "What they all have in common is they're all kleptocracies – they've got a family stealing all the money. And for very, very wealthy American and British pop stars to take part in this kind of thing makes me want to puke."

"People put a big paycheck on the table, and people don't consider where the money is coming from, or what they're at least passively endorsing," adds David T. Viecelli, agent for Arcade Fire and many other acts. "I don't want to specifically say Beyoncé or Mariah Carey behaved unethically, because I don't know all the details. But if it's true that Muammar Qaddafi's son says, 'I've got $50 million, come and play for my buddies,' I really think you have to say no to that. Given what we know about Qaddafi and what his rule has been about, you have to willfully turn a blind eye in order to accept that money, and I don't think it's ethical."

Read Klein's blog at this link.

If I were a concertgoer or a consumer of music from any of these people I would stop, now. I haven't listened seriously to Beyonce since the whole "to the left, to the left" thing. Mariah ... she still records? Really?

Video on this from CNN, also featuring my social media friend Steve Clemons from The Washington Note and the New America Foundation discussing the wildlife at the Gaddafi compound (actual wildlife, he had a tiger there).

Mr. Usher Raymond Jr., you should be ashamed of yourself. And you too, Lionel Ritchie. And all y'all who have scads of cash in reserve and still say yes to these gigs.

What's Sad About the Charlie Sheen/2.5 Men News Is ...

... that now that he doesn't have a job or a reason to show up somewhere not looking like he just sucked up a suitcase full of coke he's just gonna descend into junkiehood.

Not TV junkiehood. Actual junkiehood.

He has already destroyed his teeth, his sinuses and throat are next, and he looks haggard and drawn. And of course one wonders how many STDs he's picked up along the way.

What's also sad is him railing against Lorre for that vanity card he wrote a couple weeks ago. It was funny, a light moment in all this and now Sheen has decided to interpret it as an attack, which it wasn't. And he knows it. He also knows he wouldn't have all the coke and whore money without Lorre.

Lorre and Lee Aronsohn created for Sheen the perfect vehicle, built to withstand the wrath of his public behavior, surrounded him with some of the best players out there and as we found out from Dan Patrick's radio show, even blocked the show so that he had something to lean against on those wasted days. This is the guy Charlie is railing against, I think because he's the authority figure he feels most comfortable confronting. Certainly it would be career suicide to take on Nina Tassler, Nancy Tellem or Les Moonves.

BTW, Charlie's little "Haim Lorre" joke? Is it smart to diss Jewish people when you wanna work in the entertainment industry? Just sayin'.

If you'll remember, back before the show started no one wanted Charlie for a children's party entertainer let alone the star of a network sitcom. Spin City had died with Charlie in the lead, the only project of consequence after was Scary Movie 3 (which was an abomination to comedy and scary movies) and besides two uncredited appearances in the sequel to that film and then in the Wall Street sequel there's only one project that looks even slightly promising (and it's an indie and he's not the lead).

Who's gonna want to work with Charlie Sheen again? After this? Would you?

NBC News Video -- Easy Bake Oven vs. "The Lightbulb Police"

This is the version of Easy Bake Oven my sister had when we were little. As most people my age know it was the toy to have if you were a little girl in the 60s, even more important if she had a brother that would go upstairs before you did at night and turn on the lights for her, and yet even more important if that brother who's mom shopped for him in the husky section at JC Penney and Sears.

Well, with Congress moving to ban incandescent lightbulbs the people who make the toy, Hasbro, are in a jam. The old-style bulb is what provided the heat source.

The new Easy Bake Oven isn't even really an oven. It's an enclosure that you put dough into and then place into your microwave.

YOUR MICROWAVE!

I know!

While I know that it's time to go to compact fluorescent for the energy savings, this kinda sucks.

Where will fat kids with sisters who are afraid of the dark get their lightbulb-baked treats?

NBC's Brian Williams has the story. It's after the jump.

Video -- Letterman Preview w/ My Hero, Henry Aaron

Tonight after your late news on CBS. I wore his number in Little League.

Red Band Trailer for Bad Teacher With Cameron Diaz & Justin Timberlake

This looks like a Cam Diaz/Phyllis Smith buddy comedy from the trailer. Phyllis (The Office) has some great stuff here, as does Jason Segel (HIMYM) and Lucy Punch. For Diaz, this is a return to R-rated comedy. The Sweetest Thing is one of my favorite movies so I'm really looking forward to this.

Film opens on June 24.

Fox Renews American Dad, No Word on Scheduling

Lately, American Dad has looked like the bastard stepchild of Fox Sunday night. Airing at 7:30 eastern has not been a good thing for the show, their lead in is ... wait, I gotta look ... a Simpsons rerun. Plus, at 7:30 some people are still doing dinner related things and that cuts audience also.

And, let's face it, a Seth MacFarlane comedy probably shouldn't air before 8 pm, but then what do you do? Fox only programs till 10 so Family Guy and Cleveland taking up the 9 pm hour shuts everything else out.

So I was surprised when I read just now in B&C that the show was renewed for its seventh go-round.

I've always thought Fox should program four hours on Sunday, but mostly so that the local Fox stations don't have to do Sunday night news. Because every local stations Sunday night news is pretty lame, but imagine it at a Fox local station with a news director who wants to stock the show with Chris Wallace clips from Fox News Sunday.

No one wants that.

Because you missed it, probably, last Sunday's full episode when you click this, from Hulu.

Still funny, still more political than the other MacFarlane shows, still worth a half-hour of your time.

Video -- Funny Or Die Oscar Talk with Leonard Maltin & ... Mike Tyson

Because he's a student of film and ... oh, screw it, just watch the thing.

Sarah Palin's Secret Facebook Page? Really?

Maybe. No confirmation though I have asked for it.

What I love about this user account, called Lou Sarah, is that if it is secretly the former Alaska governor (she quit that job to do a TV show -- one that was just called the worst reality TV show of the year, make scads of cash and so that she could be available to not show up at CPAC) is that she favorites and likes a bunch of her own stuff on Facebook.

Kinda like stuffing the ballot box, isn't it?

Check it out at the link above, hat tip to HuffPo.

Video -- Long Distance Dog Story from ABC's Good Morning America

Bryan Rapozo's dog, BearBear, disappeared Tuesday in Woodland, CA (Sacramento area) and showed up Friday in Tacoma. Washington. Yes, that's on the other side of Oregon.

You can watch Bryan talk about what happened and see his reunion with his dog. It's after the jump.

Photo courtesy the Bellingham Herald, whose coverage of the story can be found at this link.

This is the kind of news you want waking you up on a Sunday. Enjoy this.

And people, MICROCHIP YOUR PETS!!!

Info on that at this link.

Video -- Justin Bieber Dies ... on CSI

Go ahead, watch Bieber get gunned down. But know that in five years time he will be your global overlord and you'll be handing off your first born to him as a honorarium.

You think I'm kidding? Aw, that's just precious!

Video -- First 5 Minutes of UK Being Human S3 Premiere

Fascinating that BBC America is starting up the third series of the UK Being Human in the middle of the US version's first season run. I thought there would be conditions set in the format licensing deal that would prevent them from airing at the same time.

Certainly awareness for the series, either one, is at its highest in the US right now thanks to all the promo Syfy has done to promote their version.

Our Boston-set series is certainly very compelling and for the most part the performances are as impressive here as they were for the BBC version. If anything (and I'm being picky) I would say I prefer Russell Tovey to Sam Huntington but then you have to give Sam survivor points for still having a career after ABC's Cavemen two years ago so maybe it's a wash.

And I love Sinead Keenan, maybe because I'm so reminded of Billie Piper from the first series of Doctor Who. She has that combination of sexy and plucky and smart that I enjoy.

The episodes ahead for the UK show will bring us a whole new crew of players per the promos BBC America is running. The key casting, though, was UK telly star Robson Green (Wire In The Blood) as the leader of a pack of wolves that figure heavily in this series' episodes.

Check out the first five minutes of Saturday's episode (9 pm eastern). It's after the jump.

Video -- Annie Gilroy (from Lesbian Row) Last Night on @CraigyFerg with @CussingBunny

Annie has a very infectious laugh. And Sid is a really pervy but fluffy bunny who has invited Annie down from the not-so eponymous Lesbian Row. In fact, in the time that Lesbian Row has existed I don't think any of the four seats in the row have been sat in by actual lesbians, though a recent lesbian emailer to the show promised she intended to eventually show up. Fingers crossed!!!

(Note to lesbians who are not Craig fans ... it's all done with love and yes, there's a little bit of fun being had but not at the expense of lesbians ... CBS cares. One thing though, Annie apologizes to her mom on air when Craig later mentions her sitting in Lesbian Row. No one needs to apologize for being in Lesbian Row or soon-to-be-established Gay Aisle -- patent pending -- or whatever it will be called.)

Annie and Sid the Cussing Bunny when you click this.

Annie and Craig wrapping up the show when you click this.

Bonus clip, Chris Hardwick shows up for tweets & emails when you click this.

Thanks for the clips, Malinky.

Video -- Len Lesser, Seinfeld's Uncle Leo, Dies at 88

Lesser spoke to the National Post back last May about his life and the Seinfeld influence:

Uncle Leo became a whole new thing for me. After sweating out every job, my God. Now it’s everywhere I go. I was at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem watching people put notes in the wall, it’s an esoteric day, very silent, very nice. All of a sudden: “Uncle Leo, where’s the watch!” Jesus Christ, in Jerusalem? Seinfeld was marvellous for me. The agent calls me now and says, “Len, they want you for so and so, the pay is so and so,” and I say, “Do it!” After all these years toiling in the vineyards, it’s a whole different ball game.

Battling cancer for a number of years, he died today at 88 from pneumonia.

Lesser's last appearance on camera was for an episode of the first season of ABC's Castle, watch it by clicking this link.

Some Uncle Leo bits if you click this and this and click this for an interview with Lesser from last March. Great stuff, take a look.

Bye, Uncle Leo. Remember what we discussed about the shoplifting.

Video -- Shatner on Craig Ferguson, His New Major Tom-Related Album

I don't feel like writing too much more today so here, just watch the clip. Click this and it'll pop up.

Funny stuff. Shatner is always a good time.

Doesn't comment on health care, though. I guess it's just Bieber talking #hcr today.

Video -- Powerful New Abortion Rights Ad from House's Lisa Edelstein and MoveOn.Org

At this link.

More, from HuffPo, at this link.

Justin Bieber Enters the Health Care Reform Debate? Yes, He Does!

HuffPo, today:

Asked if he wanted to become an American citizen, Bieber made clear his love for Canada -- and its health care system.

"You guys are evil," he told the magazine, out on February 18th. "Canada's the best country in the world. We go to the doctor and we don't need to worry about paying him, but here, your whole life, you're broke because of medical bills. My bodyguard's baby was premature, and now he has to pay for it. In Canada, if your baby's premature, he stays in the hospital as long as he needs to, and then you go home."

Lets see what Beck and O'Reilly have to say about that. And Sarah Palin. Betcha daughter Willow will be forced to remove the posters from her walls.

The Biebs, knowing his bread is buttered by progressive Americans. Look, he's even flashing the peace sign.

Bieber, he's all about the love.

Video -- Celebrating Phil Collins Day in Brooklyn

Live from Brooklyn, the only place where this could happen. Has something to do with the percentage of irony in the air.

All the important video (all 2+ minutes of it) from last night's Phil Collins Day Parade when you click this link. Congrats Phil, usually a publicist has to shell out some serious coin for this much adoration.

Video -- The Key Art That Lied: CBS' Mad Love Reminds Me of Everything

I was gonna let it go, I was just gonna pass, you know? And then I saw this, above.

Mad Love, a new CBS comedy, isn't a new kind of anything. Sorry Toby (I see you!) I just can't get with it and I enjoy the Sarah Chalke a lot, too.

The thing about the show is it seems like I've seen this before. I've seen Chalke fall for an insecure professional with mommy issues, I watched Scrubs and How I Met Your Mother and saw her do that there.

When I see her on screen with Jason Biggs I immediately reference Alyson Hannigan from their work on American Pie which then reminds me that I'm seen her on that show, too, and it's also a show about young New York professionals with nice apartments that fall in love.

TV execs, there are OTHER cities. Providence, Rhode Island, for example. Greensboro, Lexington, Santa Fe ... pick one, any one.

More than that, everything Tyler Labine does reminds me that he's Jack Black minus five charm points.

Who I really feel bad for here is the wonderful, wonderful, one more time wonderful Judy Greer, who once again graces a project that she is better than.

It gets three weeks. It had better do something, anything, to make me feel like it's something new and not the same ol' same ol'.

And despite it all I'm still gonna give you a clip, it's a behind the scenes thing with Biggs and Chalke, it's after the jumperoo.

Frankie Muniz Gone Wild? I Kinda Saw This Coming

A former teen star with issues? Really? You don't say ...

Ah, stereotypes. Well, even a broken clock is right twice a day, huh?

You can go to Radar Online or TMZ for the details. I was trying The Smoking Gun for a link because I thought it might be a less disgusting option but alas they have nothing currently.

Police report at this link, for you people who like their data raw.

You'll remember that just the other day (Jan. 14) I posted about him tweeting a pic of him with handguns right after the Giffords assassination attempt in Arizona. At the time I thought he was holed up in some house in Laurel Canyon. Turns out he was in Phoenix in the center of the 24-hour coverage of the Giffords story and he still thought it was a good idea to tweet this pic above with the text "I'm starting to go crazy in the studio! Step back MOFO!!!"

I know, man enough to play with guns but can't type the word motherfucker into his phone. So dangerous, dangerous enough to beat up on his girlfriend, because you know how manly that makes a guy.

The story he feeds the cops per the reports are awfully sketchy, and now, on his Twitter account he's posting a pic of the Valentine's Day dinner table that he set and photographed sometime before 8 am this morning with a note telling the girlfriend he loves her and implying she return home.

Probably wouldn't have posted this if I hadn't posted about him previously. You know how I like announcing my prescience. It's one of my favorite things.

I haven't used the "Bad Celebrity Behavior" tag on this blog in a long time. Not that there hasn't been a bunch of it, there always is. I just haven't bothered lately.

This Horrible and Disturbing Lara Logan News, CBS Reporter Brutalized in Egypt

I'm just sickened by this news today that CBS News reporter Lara Logan suffered an horrendous ordeal during the Egypt protests.

From the CBS News website (complete text):

On Friday February 11, the day Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak stepped down, CBS correspondent Lara Logan was covering the jubilation in Tahrir Square for a "60 Minutes" story when she and her team and their security were surrounded by a dangerous element amidst the celebration. It was a mob of more than 200 people whipped into frenzy.

In the crush of the mob, she was separated from her crew. She was surrounded and suffered a brutal and sustained sexual assault and beating before being saved by a group of women and an estimated 20 Egyptian soldiers. She reconnected with the CBS team, returned to her hotel and returned to the United States on the first flight the next morning. She is currently in the hospital recovering.

There will be no further comment from CBS News and Correspondent Logan and her family respectfully request privacy at this time.

I've always been a fan (see my previous posts on her) and I was just sickened reading this. I wish her and her loved ones the peace they request and all good things.

One More Time, Just Because They're on Your TV Doesn't Mean You Can Go Visit Them At Home

It's happened again. Some woman was found trying to get to what I can only imagine is her imagined meeting with Ellen and Portia (seen above on the Oprah set). I wonder what she imagined their meeting was about?

TV Guide:

Karen Grace Sjoden, 49, was charged with misdemeanor trespassing Monday and pleaded not guilty.

Sjoden was arrested on the couple's Beverly Hills, Calif., property on the morning of Feb. 10. "The intruder never entered the actual residence, and did not make any contact with either Ellen or Portia," a rep for the pair previously said in a statement.

Prosecutors told the court on Monday that Sjoden was found with the names and addresses of other Hollywood stars, as well as a letter referencing Hillary Clinton.

Sjoden told the court, "This is a set up."

A set up? So someone put her in Ellen and Portia's yard with a list of celebrity addresses and "a letter referencing Hillary Clinton" whatever that might mean?

People, all together now, let's all say it in unison ... the people who come into your home through the magic box that your furniture is pointing at are not your friends. You can not just pop by their homes, I don't care if your letter references Hillary Clinton or Wael Ghoneim or even the Biebs.

(Oh, and while we're referencing Bieber, you don't fuck with the nice jazz lady's Wikipedia page just because she won Best New Artist.)

Don't show up at Ellen and Portia's house, it's disconcerting for them. Though I must say it keeps their security detail on point.

Seriously, if you're holding a famous person's address in your pocket and consulting a map, call 911 and tell them so. They'll do the rest.

Glee Preview Clip -- Tonight, "Think About the Power of Four Biebers!"

Sam (Chord Overstreet), already sporting the hairstyle, is the character that you can thank/blame for bringing the Biebs to McKinley High with his one-man band The Justin Bieber Experience.

Once he does the rest of the guys finally comprehend the power that comes apparently from singing very simple pop songs that don't challenge one's vocal range but have a simple message about the opposite sex.

(See what I did there? I just boiled the whole phenomenon down to one paragraph. That's all it is ... simple songs with simple messages sang earnestly by a nice kid that I'm starting to think might actually be as earnest as his lyrics. Having said that, of course, if you are an adult and you're walking around singing "Baby, baby, baby, oh ..." call the gang at the TV show Intervention and tell 'em to get a move on.)

There's a great Angry Birds (now available even for the PC!!!) joke in the clip. Those birds have reached a level of ubiquity not often seen by a game you play on your phone.

Clip from tonight's episode after the jump.

IFC Renews Fred Armisen's Portlandia, Watch the Web Shorts That Inspired the Series

Good news today from IFC for fellow Valley Stream Central High alum Fred Armisen and Portland's Carrie Brownstein of Sleater-Kinney fame, their IFC series Portlandia is coming back for another season, this time with 10 episodes (four more than last time for you who are math averse). There's Carrie and Fred as the Put a Bird On It people, which I guess we all can agree killed. You can watch it again if you click this.

(That clip is from Hulu, where they have a selection of promo clips though they don't yet have full episodes. Per the show's page at the site that actually might still happen. If you don't have IFC you might wanna check there occasionally and see if they made a deal.)

The press release from IFC mentions that the series is based on a series of web videos the two did as ThunderAnt (this link). Funny stuff there with guest stars including Rich Sommer (Mad Men) and Andy Samber from SNL.

From the IFC website:

Brownstein and Armisen spent years observing the joyous eccentricities of Portland, Oregon (when Fred was on hiatus from SNL), which spawned their "Thunderant" project, a compilation of online videos that combined their unique music styles and comedic sensibilities. Their artistic collaboration garnered an online cult following, as their "Thunderant" characters resonated with a young audience celebrating individuality, free spirit and weirdness.

After the jump, my favorite scene from last week's episode with Aubrey Plaza from Parks & Recreation.The show airs Friday at 10:30 right after The Onion News Network.

Charlie Sheen Gone Wild: Calls Dan Patrick Radio, Trashes Producers & Show Hiatus

He's heading toward losing his big money gig if he doesn't shut up and do what he needs to do. This TMZ story, I predict, is the beginning of the end:

A raspy -sounding Charlie called in to The Dan Patrick Show this morning and explained he lost his voice because he tried to go back to work ... and was yelling and banging on the stage door ... but nobody was there.

Sheen explained, "[The execs] said 'You get ready and we'll get ready' ... and I got ready and went back and nobody was there ... I don't know what to tell ya."

Charlie knows that the show is in hiatus until Feb. 28. He also knows he's supposed to be rehabbing right now and he doesn't want to do that. Chuck Lorre and the CBS brass have been really solidly behind him until now, and I'm pretty sure that's gonna end now. People who are trying to help don't love it when the person they're trying to help make them look bad.

Listen to the audio by clicking this link. I'm not saying he's high as he talks to Dan Patrick but he's talking a mile a minute and not making any sense at all. From what he says on the call it seems I know more about the Two and a Half Men shooting schedule than he does. Of course I read TV news online and Charlie apparently reviews audition video of his next paid sex partner.

Look for CBS to begin pulling back support for Charlie starting today.

I would hope someone who cares about this guy steps up and saves him from himself but there's just so much anyone can do.

In other news, he's officially divorced from Brooke Mueller today. With the day off, I'm sure Charlie will find a way to fill his hours. I hear Joanna Angel is in town (link NSFW).

I Lied! One More Valentine's Day Mention from the Whoniverse

The kind folks at BBC America (who could send a screener every now and then, just sayin') wanted me to extend their Valentine's Day wishes to you.

The Daleks, however, will totally kill you.

EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

Valentine's Day Video from Joe Jonas and Funny Or Die

Joe's in a pickle. It's Valentine's Day, he's doing a musical favor for a friend on what should be a special day for him and his girl ... but it, uh, devolves.

Watch it after the jump. While you're there, click on the MTV report clip after that, with him talking about new music is in the pipeline. Take that, Bieber, there's a Jonas out there who's not afraid of your (yes I'm gonna say it again) strange hair and current growth spurt.

(This will be the only mention of VDay on this blog. We're done now.)

Video -- SNL Weekend Update Guest Stefon on V-Day Events

I haven't watched the episode yet, but when I hear Stefon in on Update I climb every mountain, ford every stream.

Snoozin' Lucci. A wise old turtle that looks like Quincy Jones. Gizblo the coked up gremlin. Jewish Cupids, Jupids.

All at Booooooooof! I'm so there.

(Yes, Booooooooof! has nine o's.)

Human Suitcases. I lost it on human suitcases.

Daniel Craig at the Beach -- Is This the First Still Image From the New Bond Film?

Indeed it is. Andy Cohen is the new Miss Moneypenny. He beat Judi Dench in a steel cage match for the role.

I have no idea what this is or where is was shot. I was trolling Tumblr under an assumed alias (no, I'm not gonna tell you) and found this.

You think they're discussing the Vanderpumps and their fake British accents or Craig's upcoming Cowboys and Aliens (see the amazing trailer for that film from Jon Favreau coming in July by clicking this link).

Video -- E!'s Fashion Police, the Best Bits

No, I'm not posting the entire show. Yes, I feel like I could and keep the headline. No, I'm not kidding. Yes, I'm a big Joan fan (she was the first person who ever paid me to write). No, Kelly Osbourne did not injure herself trying not to laugh at Joan's jokes about her friends. Yes, I think she probably lost it later. No, I don't think Giuliana is as annoying here as she is ... well, the rest of the time. Yes, George Kotsiopoulos is a cute li'l guy and I love what he wears on the show.

After the jump I'm posting all my favorite bits (well, my favorite bits that were indeed posted this morning at the E! website, including the panel's comments on Lindsay's court attire and some bonus stuff from Joan about Britney's assistant's wedding and Brit's bridesmaid dress.

Video -- Rachel Maddow, Student Model

 

 

Okay, the modeling school actually came to Maddow. Two current Miss America contestants from New York and Arkansas attempt to teach Rachel how to pose for photos.

Hat tip to Maddow web producer Will Femia. Happy weekend!

Not Letting Myself Play on Twitter 'Til I Write Something About Spartacus

First attempt, Feb. 8th

The photo above illustrates ...

a) Some notable residents of Capua watching blindfolded gladiator Gannicus slay a rival in the center of the marketplace.

b) A group of fans of the Starz series Spartacus: Gods of the Arena watching the requisite buckets o' blood slaying that seems to happen at the beginning of each episode this season.

c) Friday at Charlie Sheen's place.

So, why am I having so much trouble saying something, anything, about the show? There's certainly lots to discuss ... a lot of sex and violence and blood and alcohol and drugs and ... sex, did I mention the sex? Did I mention the three-way Gaia initiated with Batiatus and Lucretia that peaked with Gaia pouring a goblet of wine down her torso and having Batty drink from her right breast and ended right after that when his dad Titus broke it all up?

(And then I give up and go play on Twitter, anyway.)

Second attempt, Feb. 9th

So, they killed another gay guy on Spartacus. Last year Barca got jacked after being told he had won his freedom from exactly the person who granted it. This year in the prequel Barca's hot gladiator BF Auctus dies in battle versus Crixus of all people.

So are the writers maybe suggesting he and Barca shouldn't have joked about raping Crixus during training earlier? Was that the point of Auctus' death?

Is there always going to be some sort of penalty for guys in Capua who are into guys? Or, as Geoff Peterson might say, "Is that code?"

You can understand why I would go there, it's right there in the script ... every gay guy -- Auctus first chronologically and then Barca then Pietros is dead by the end of the 11-episode Blood and Sand season in 2010.

Then again, in each of these two settings, first the aforementioned B&S and now in Gods of the Arena there is a moment where the lead character walks by the gay couple while they are having sex and winking or nodding at Barca (the top, he's easier to make eye contact with, know what I mean?) thereby indicating an approval of what he's doing.

So, I'm getting mixed messages from the show is I guess what I'm saying, and I'm already not really comfortable with how this show comingles sex and violence. But I haven't missed one of 'em and ... well damn, it's a hot show. Even the scene with Gaia, Lucretia and Batiatus did it for me ... that moment when Titus walks in on them while Gaia's pouring the wine down her torso and Batiatus is catching the flow under her right breast? Day-um!

(Jaime Murray, you can count on her to bring it, huh?)

Final attempt (and a preview of this Friday's episode) after the jump.

Video -- Alex Borstein, "Black Ms. Swan"

I have nothing more to say. Hat tip to her friend Seth MacFarlane's Twitter account.

Hey, a new Family Guy this week, check out a preview by ... okay, apparently you'll have to travel through time to do that because there isn't one at Hulu or Fox or YouTube.

Torchwood Set Pic -- Action Gwen With a Bazooka?

I know, I know, we call it a recoilless rocket antitank weapon now. I still like the word bazooka, though. Note Mekhi Phifer (Rex) hanging with our cast. He looks settled in, huh?

Only six months or so till Torchwood returns on Starz here in the US and BBC One in the UK. More as we get closer, much more once I get to Comic-Con, where I hope to get some access to the principles.

Hat tip to Ty Davies, I stole the pic from his Torchwood: Miracle Day page at Facebook. Visit that, will you?

The Perfect Wonder Woman? Tricia Helfer, Of Course!

I know, you're confused by all the blondeness, but know that Tricia Helfer isn't a natural blonde. And from a recent tweet from her about being at the salon, we know that she HATES getting her blonde on.

So, I'm officially putting recently new American citizen Tricia forth as a possible Wonder Woman for Warner Bros., NBC, and David E. Kelley. She's got the physical characteristics, she's a known quantity to the fan base, she's certainly capable in the acting dept. and I totally buy her as the character.

Plus, it's her time and she's ready for it.

On that note, I have a link for you to a review of the pilot script from Kelley that's been talked about over the last few weeks, from Eric Diaz at Geekspace. Including ...

Diana is kind, loved by her staff of loyal employees, and much like modern interpretations of the character, is someone who stands up for those who don’t have a voice. She is the champion of the little guy. As Wonder Woman, she is also strong and confident, especially in a fight.  There was a scene at the climax of the script where she takes on twenty some enhanced thugs, and I really can’t wait to see that on screen.  Yes, she is not as strong here as she is in the comics (where she can go toe to toe with Superman) but as far as I can tell, there are no other super heroes in this world to compare her to.

Sounds like Tricia Helfer to me. How about you?

Video -- Wanna Watch Your US Being Human Cast Play in Toronto?

Well, do ya? Because I've loaded that clip after the jump. Listen to Sam Witwer explain how the news is done in Canada starting at about the 2 minute mark. Fascinating insights!

About the show? I'm still watching. It's just different enough in story from the BBC original that I'm still entertained. I can't say the same about Skins, which just didn't translate for me.

About the UK version from BBC One, it returns this month in America on BBC America on Feb. 19. From the press release from the network:

Leaving the memories of their much-loved former house behind, George, Nina and Mitchell settle into their new home – a kitsch bed and breakfast named Honolulu Heights that boasts many benefits for supernatural sharers – a large basement providing a safe and sheltered environment on a full moon, for one.

Season three boasts an impressive array of guest-stars, including Lacey Turner (EastEnders) as Lia, who Mitchell meets in Purgatory, Robson Green (Wire In The Blood) as primitive werewolf McNair, Michael Socha (This Is England ’86) as McNair’s son Tom, Paul Kaye (It’s All Gone Pete Tong) as twisted vampire Vincent, Craig Roberts (Young Dracula) as teenage vampire Adam; Nicola Walker (MI-5) as social worker Wendy, James Fleet (Four Weddings and a Funeral) as George’s father George Sr; and Jason Watkins making an eventful return as vampire leader Herrick.

That's right, Robson Green, who any fan of Brit TV worth their salt knows and loves. In fact, Rob Buckley (his blog, this link) promises me that I'll be enjoying Green's turn as a werewolf, and especially his scenes with Russell Tovey, who I have newfound respect for since the US version has debuted.

The promised clip PLUS a preview of the UK show's third series are after the jump.

There's At Least One Group Thanking the Black Eyed Peas This Morning

Yeah, Black Eyed Peas, thanks for not pulling off Fergie's top during the show. Thanks. A lot.

Video -- Katie Couric and Glee's Chris Colfer

I got nothing else, I just thought there might be someone who wanted to see this clip Katie tweeted.

Watch some behind the scenes stuff from tomorrow's post Super Bowl ep of Glee (I'll just never understand the thinking behind that) with Katie in another clip after the jump.

I can't get more excited about this. No, seriously, I can't get more excited. I can't.

How to Make the Comic-Con/TicketLeap Tix Page Work For You

This is what made it work for me, and I hope it helps you.

Whenever you see this "We are currently over capacity" screen, keep reloading. And reloading, and reloading. Use your F5 button if you're a PC user, and I imagine there's an analogue for the Mac.

You may keep getting this screen in between functions of the TicketLeap software. Continue to reload the page and if it asked, definitely RESEND the previously sent information. Click that button and then if you have to, reload again. And again. And again.

Just keep reloading and resending and eventually (and it took me more than an hour) you will get to the final screen at TicketLeap which will give you your confirmation code and then you're golden.

Your badge will be printable on 2-8, per the website they'll be sending that email to you, as opposed to printing your badge right now.

Good luck to you. If you're gonna be there and need local info please lemme know. As a local I'll give you as much info as I can.

UPDATED: Comic-Con, Presented by This.

UPDATE: Finally after an hour and 15 minutes refreshing my browser almost constantly I have my badge for the con. But what damage has the brand suffered during this period of no tickets? Only time will tell. I'll be asking people about that on the convention floor this July.

Will they ever get this right? Will they have to succumb to Ticketmaster? I wouldn't mind that at all if I could just get the task done. Apparently people have problems with Ticketmaster and I don't like some of their business practices either, but at least it doesn't take forever to buy your tix.

FAIL. Big time.

Funny Or Die Presents ... Chick-Fil-Gay

Moo. Moooooo. Mooooove away from that gay hating restaurant and eat something else.

Maybe a salad? Some chicken salad?

Thanks, Funny or Die, and remember that FOD Presents, the HBO series, airs tonight after an all new episode of The Ricky Gervais Show. Preview clip for that by clicking right here.

Video -- HBO Teases The Pee-Wee Herman Show, Airs March 19

You know you wanna. Click this and it'll play right here. March 19, 10 pm, HBO.

Then watch this HBO behind the scenes thing in support of the special by clicking this. In it you'll see, among others, Wendy Williams and John Waters, an unlikely pair indeed, but the potential dinner conversation blows my mind!

Now go talk to YOUR chair and YOUR globe and see if they answer. They don't, huh. And that's why Pee-Wee is still relevant, because deep down we wanna giggle some and then snuggle with our Chairy.

Guys, Like It Rough? -- Six Nations Rugby on BBC America Starts Feb. 5

I might have mentioned (a few million times) my recent infatuation with rugby. Fast, packed with action and even a bit brutal, it's played without the armor you see on our pro football players, played without helmets so you can see what the players look like, and played hard by big guys with great bodies who play both offense and defense (think tops and bottoms if it makes you more comfortable), sweat, play in the rain and the cold ...

So, are you in yet? Huh?

How about this? The only male professional athlete in the world who is out of the closet is a rugby player, Gareth Thomas (image right). No, he's not playing, but I'm sure he'll be rooting for the team from his native Wales. And if he's in the San Diego area he's welcome to stop by and watch with me.

(Man,  I love a broken nose and a thick neck. Damn! Not the only reason I watch, but it's a strong contender for lead position.)

Starting Sunday, BBC America brings you RBS Six Nations Rugby from locations all over Europe. The national teams of England, Wales, Ireland, Scotland, France and Italy square off in a a total of 15 matches between Feb. 4 and March 19. BBC America brings us five of those, starting with last year's champion France vs. Scotland.

You can see the full BBC America schedule here and the full Six Nations schedule from the official site at this link.

I know what you're thinking. "Joe, I'm a guy who doesn't usually watch sports. What's in it for me?"

To that I usually answer, "Have you ever seen what happens inside the scrum?" No? It's like a Saturday night crowd at your favorite club except everyone is REALLY HANDSY!!

Okay, it's not quite like this (click here for details on this above, which was an ad the French tourism board created, those cheeky Frogs), but it's still good. More than that, though, it's a fast moving game that's very physical played by guys with almost no protection, without helmets so you can see the pain and joy on their faces, same guys play offense and defense so it's grueling ... have I sold it yet?

How about this? Hot rugby playing bears that you might have seen totally shaved in a charity calendar naked will sweat and grunt and you'll love it. Like Sean Lamont from Wales (this link NSFW).

After the jump, some instructional video, and maybe one other, because your know those charity calendars also do DVDs. And this first clip after the jump? Also very NSFW and not for you kids.

Click here to access BBC America's Rugby 101 page, which will give you newbies some idea of how the game's played. And click this link for the network's stash of interview clips with players and coaches.