(Editor's Note: Had to go with this photo, it made me think of that great Scarlett Johannson/Fred Armisen sketch from SNL for Mike & Toni's Chandelier Galaxy -watch it by clicking this link.)
Aw. It's over. That's just a shame.
Big big audience for the season two premiere of Jersey Shore on MTV, 5.3 million viewers and the number one show in all of cable for the 12-34 demographic that is the channel's wheelhouse.
First off, if you have a 12-year-old that's watching this show, get up right now and take that kid to an adoption agency and surrender your parental rights.
Having said that I don't really know how much you have to worry about them being interested in such things. Watching the premiere last night on my DVR (relax MTV, I watched within three days ... and I'm WAY outside your target demo) it felt like old news, even after I had heard yesterday that Snooki had been dragged off the beach in Seaside Heights by police in what was either an act of disorderly conduct or performance art (details at this link, even the brainiacs at The Atlantic are blogging about it).
There's a phrase that my Italian grandmother and people of her generation used to use, "You think who you are." It means you're believing you're own hype and it kills reality television in that it changes the on-camera participants' reality.
These aren't seven Northeastern guidos and guidettes vacationing in The Middle Class Hamptons anymore. They've shot clips for FunnyOrDie.com, they've "performed" with Jay Leno and George Lopez, they're building brands based on the show ... hell, Snooki and her dad were on the cover of a recent Sunday Styles section of the NY Times (though they probably read the Daily News or the Post or even one of those Gannett papers that dot the Throughway toward Albany).
Can't keep them down on the farm (so to speak, I wouldn't actually place any of them at an actual farm) after that.
Oh, then there's Angelina. What the fuck is wrong with her, anyway? Every time she opens her mouth I wanna stick my arm down there and rip out her organs. I know they say that reality show editors can make anyone look bad but unless they cut out all the references to Angelina retracing Mother Theresa's steps on Earth performing good works she comes very close to Puck from The Real World in that list of most annoying MTV reality stars ever.
So I think I'm done with this. Anyone have any objections?
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