I Am A TV Junkie

Video -- Supreme Ct. Nom Kagan, Team Edward or Team Jacob?

I know, the suspense is killing you.

The whole Twilight series has me thinking about hara kiri, however.

Get Elena Kagan's answer from this CNN clip (LINK).

Yes, I'm sometimes a hit count whore.

Video Top 5 -- Big Brother 11, Elizabeth Edwards on Today, Matt Smith v. John Barrowman, More

1. Big Brother 11 Includes an Oil Rig Salesman (timely), a Kosher Podiatrist (first orthodox Jew ever in the house, Saturdays will be an issue for him), a swimming physicist and hot chicks. Hey, it's not me, that just about all they tell you in the clip (click the clip at the top of this post).

2. Elizabeth Edwards is extraordinarily gracious on the Today show, especially considering what a dick her husband is (LINK)

3. Over in the UK, static-faced Danii Minogue (Kylie's sis and face injectables fan) says her X-Factor gig is not assured for next series (speaking into what I can only describe as a forest of robot penises, image left), while the TV Choice Awards will pit Torchwood's John Barrowman v. Doctor Who's Matt Smith, and finally some woman who shows up on their TV named Kerry Katona (huh? who?) apparently screamed bloody murder at her kids on a reality show and is apologizing all over the place (LINK)

4. Jeff Garlin (Curb Your Enthusiasm) gets on a bus in Los Angeles, so does Ed Begley and Bob Saget (okay, Begley I can understand, but Saget? Really?). The woman who's reading Jeff's book on the bus? We hate her! (LINK) From Funny Or Die.

5. Weeds returns on August 16. Yes, the sticky icky returns during the hot 'n' sticky Summer, watch a teaser trailer that includes a croquet mallet, a passport, a handgun, a cell phone, a bobblehead Jesus and Mary-Louise Parker (LINK)

Video -- Frozen Custard, Jon Stewart & Dame Helen Mirren on The Daily Show

Now all Jon needs is a tarpaulin to throw over his desk and we're ready to roll.

Watch the custard portion of last night's show (thanks again, Biden!) at this link.

Watch Helen Mirren look stunning and talk about her movie Love Ranch (and custard) at this link.

Trailer for the film by clicking here.

Video -- Jane Adams From Hung Just Can Seem to Stop Talking About ...

... you know ... big penises.

Don't shoot the messenger, I didn't take a role as a pimp to a endowed Detroit gym coach AND then visit her friend Craig (who claims to be same, in fact he's doing so in the image above!) on his talk show to talk about what sounded suspiciously like a date (right?) and then continue to talk about penises. 

Still it was fun to watch. Click here for it.

Video -- Elijah Wood Comes to FX in Pilot for US Version of Australian "Dog-Com" Wilfred

You see, this is why I tell you guys to set up your DVRs to record these obscure shows on cable channels from overseas. If you had, you would have (like I do right now) four episodes of series one of Wilfred from Australia's SBS network waiting for your eyes.

I first wrote about the show back in April at this link. 

Honestly I was a bit suprised to hear that Wood (he of the almost disturbing blue eyes, image right) was hooking up with a basic cable channel to do a series but it seems FX is getting after the comedy (like its Louie premiere this week) in a big way. His presence should, if it goes to series, ensure a really nice sampling from the cable audience.

Hollywood Reporter:

"Wilfred" marks Wood's first starring role in series television. The "Lord of the Rings" star will play the character Ryan; Gann, who co-created and starred in the Aussie series, will play the title character.

David Zuckerman ("Family Guy," "American Dad," "King of the Hill") wrote the adapted pilot script and serves as executive producer. He described "Wilfred" as a comedy "about a guy (Wood), the girl next door and a mixed-breed dog, Wilfred, who is part Labrador Retriever and part Russell Crowe on a bender."

The pilot will be directed by Randall Einhorn ("The Office," "Parks & Recreation"), and lensing is scheduled to begin this summer.

Gann is Jason Gann, the co-creator of the series and the guy who will again play Wilfred, this time probably without the Aussie accent, though in watching the original it wasn't a bother for me.

If this goes to series, FX will have four comedies in its stable that really work for me, including the animated Archer, Louie and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia which I predict will return to big numbers now that episodes are running every Monday night on Comedy Central.

Watch some of the original (it airs on IFC here, do try to check it out on air if you can) by clicking this link.

American Glastonbury Festival Fans Will Wait Until September for Palladia Telecast

I know that U2's Bono disappointed (what with his bad back, rockers aging is never pretty) but there was plenty more on hand at this year's Glasto that U.S. fans would love to see in a more timely manner.

But, that's not gonna happen, per my sources.

MTV Networks' Palladia HD channel (the former MHD) runs BBC Three coverage of the festival's previous years on what sometimes seems like an endless loop. The most recent festival, though, won't get to US televisions before September.

(I'm hoping Labor Day weekend, it's good TV for a crowd situation, say a holiday open house.)

In the meantime if you're just desperate to see your favorite performer from last weekend's festivities there's always YouTube. Below I have links to some bands on the programme ...

• The National
• Groove Armada 
• Radiohead's Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood
• Gorrilaz

I posted a couple other Glasto clips from BBC Three at this link and this link.

FX's Louie Tonight at 10 11 Eastern (oops!) -- Excerpts from Louis C.K.'s Brain

Okay, I don't have actual biopsies of Louis C.K.'s gray matter (think of the eBay potential) but I have stuff that evidently started in his brain and traveled south, to the mouth, and then out of it during a recent conference call with reporters and bloggers.

And here's some of that (links and clips dropped in where I think appropriate).

About writing all the episodes himself:

Writers’ rooms, they kind of gravitate towards a certain place.  There’s a need to perfect things in a writers’ room, and that can take a lot of fun out of a show sometimes.  It’s a struggle.  It depends on your personality.  Some people love working with a writing staff.  I had a great writing staff on Lucky Louie , but it sometimes felt like Congress or something.  It’s like if you’re the president and you have the ability to just fire Congress, life would get kind of fun all of a sudden.

I remember when I got the green light to do this show, and my daughter was asking me about it.  She was about seven at the time, and asked me, I don’t know why, she said, “Are you going to have writers on the show or are you going to write it all yourself?”  And I said, “I think I might write them all myself.”  And she said, “I think that would be easier because you don’t have to explain to all those people what you want to do.  You can just do it.”  And she was right.  Seven years old, she was very savvy about production.

So it does really make it easier.  And again, like I said before, I can write stuff incomplete and start working on it.  I don’t have to prove it to anybody.  I like doing it that way.  The writing process for me is different according to what I’m writing.  With this show, I usually start with a moment or a scene or a feeling that’s funny to me, like these two people having a conversation.  I want to see that.  So I’ll write out that conversation that I want to see, or that moment, and sometimes it will just sort of lead into a story.  Sometimes I’ll get interested in the voices I’m writing for and wonder what happens to them and then go find out, or the situation I’m writing about.  Other times I have the conversation on paper and it stops being interesting, so I go, “That’s it.  That’s done.”  So we shoot that as a one off instead of a whole episode, or just one segment instead of a more chronological story. 

About the content and language limits of a basic cable venture:

It’s kind of fun to play inside of limits sometimes.  I feel like there’s nothing I can’t say on stage except for the certain words that they don’t like to hear, because they don’t have an FCC thing, it’s just Standards and Practices, which is them thinking about their advertisers and what they want to present as their standards.  You can’t say …, you can’t say …, you can’t say retarded, although since I said that on the Jon Stewart show they came back and said, “Well, not necessarily you can’t.”  So I don’t know where the line is with that one.  

There’s a few buzz words.  And then there’s sort of a general note about if you’re going to describe sexual moments, she calls it tonnage.  That’s the word, there’s tonnage.  Like when I did the thing with Bobby Cannavale before we went on the air of him describing the gay porn that I would have to make to make money, I showed that to her and I said, “What, of this, would you have approved?” just as an exercise.  And she said, “There’s nothing in there that, on its own, couldn’t have gone through, but it’s a tonnage thing.  I wouldn’t have let you do this whole scene.”  She said, “The only thing I might not be okay with is two guys … in your mouth and laughing.”  And I said, “Really?  … in the mouth, that’s out?”  And she said, “Well, it depends on the context.”  I said, “What if I said something about … in Hitler’s mouth?”  She said, “Maybe.  We haven’t had anybody on this network say … in the mouth, but maybe you’ll find that.”  So there’s a feeling like I could get to whatever I want; and obviously, I don’t have some hell-bent need to say awful things on FX, but I like to know where my limits are.  

They have surprised me with what they’ve let through.  Sure.  There’s been a few things where I’ve been like, when Ricky Gervais said your (cock) looks like a dog was sucking it off, and then he started chewing it because he thought it was a bloody tongue filled shoe, as I was standing there watching him say that I thought, “That’s never going to be on television.”  It’s on television.  So who knew?  I didn’t even get a peep from them from that. 

More after the jump.

Video -- Have You Seen Babyvamp Jessica's True Blood Blog?

First off, I love Deborah Ann Woll. Gorgeous, smart, works the laugh every time she gets the opportunity ... what's not to love?

And Jessica is a favorite of mine in a show full of amazing characters. So, when I clicked from the True Blood HBO site to this blog called Babyvamp-Jessica.com I, I ... well, I kvelled.

From her June 21st post:

Firstly, I want to thank all of you who offered me your blood. Users sohn and v'''v-Michael-v'''v, THOMAS H and Mert, maybe there were others too. Y'all are just the nicest! But I think maybe, for a little while, I need to hold off on feedin' from humans.

Ha!

It's a great blog, so good I wonder who's writing it (though I also kind of don't wanna know) with text and clips of Jessica sharing her feelings about Bill being gone and how she knows nothing about being a vamp and ... well, you can see a couple of those clips by clicking this and this.

I know, it's just like lonelygirl15 only so much better and she talks about things you care about because you watch the show.

More on Woll this week in the casting news arena, Collider.com says she's being considered for a big role in the Paul Thomas Anderson movie that's ostensibly about the Church of Scientology and has no title at this time, up against Amanda Seyfried and Emma Stone. It would be her most notable project to date.

At IMDb she has two films up before that, one called Highland Park with former co-star Michelle Forbes and another film that I won't publicize because allegedly the prod company (Mind in Motion Entertainment, their website has only a splash page up at present) left Detroit, where they were shooting the thing, without paying vendors and extras. Very shitty move, especially in Detroit where unemployment is rampant.

My favorite scene from last night's episode? The scene that included this image of James Frain's vamp Franklin Mott and Jessica's kill from two weeks ago (image above left).

Things are gettin' wicked again in Bon Temps.

Fortunately.

LA Times Report: A Michael Scott-less The Office For 2011-12 Season

Seriously.

I'm not a regular viewer of the show (my "meh" of this show makes me a pariah, I know) but even I think it's hard to go forward without Carell as Michael Scott.

LA Times Showtracker (Maria Elena Fernandez):

Carell thinks "The Office"  can go on without him.

"It doesn't certainly mean the end of the show," he said. "I think it's just a dynamic change to the show, which could be a good thing, actually. Add some new life and some new energy ... I see it as a positive in general for the show."

That's a nice thought and I imagine that some people will agree but that just seems unlikely to me.

Unless, that is, they bring in someone with some comedy clout. Got any ideas?

Don't say Gervais, it won't happen. 

Of course, this could all be a contract ploy. No, I don't put it past Steve to posture in this way, it's the way the industry works. I could even see how he could have gotten this idea from network colleague Alec Baldwin, who's always saying he's gonna quit the biz only to get a salary boost out of it.

Video Top 5 -- Matt Smith at Glasto, Prince Tribute from Janelle Monae, Walter Bishop ...

... and more including The IT Crowd and Pat O'Brien looking for a new job.

(I stopped posting a video top 5 a while back, it's time to bring it back.)

1. At the Glastonbury Festival Matt Smith comes out on stage with Orbital for their version of the Doctor Who theme (LINK)

2. Janelle Monae performs Let's Go Crazy at the BET Awards for Prince (who seems to enjoy it? he could be a little more demonstrative imho) (LINK)

3. Fox is pulling out all the stops this season to get John Noble an Emmy nod for Fringe. Here's part of the campaign (LINK)

4. Compare the pilot episode of The IT Crowd (series four underway in the UK, here in the states in August on IFC) with its German version, Das iTeam (LINK -- no embed code, the link will take you to YouTube)

5. From Funny or Die, a return to video for Pat O'Brien, former entertainment news show host and hooker/coke/sex phone message leaver gets a new manager (LINK)

True Blood's Werewolf Bar Looks Familiar? Ever Been to San Diego?

First of all, why would Sookie wear white to a werewolf bar? Is she incapable of dressing appropriately for anything? 

(BTW if you really liked her top, apparently someone at Yahoo! Answers has found something like it at Forever 21, click this link for that.)

Okay, having said that I had to laugh while watching True Blood last night while Alcide (YOWZA!) and Sook were at the Lone Wolf, because the place looks a lot like a San Diego gay bar called Wolf's (their website is currently down but here's a still of their entrance to the left here, the entrance to the Lone Wolf is pictured at the top of the post).

But even the inside of the bar is very close to how this place looks inside. And actually the clientele matches up, too. Especially on weekend nights.

All right, which set designer from the show has been coming down here on the weekends to play, huh?

I know it's someone on the show.

Anyhow, I'm still recovering from all the twisted sex from last night's episode. I'm experiencing sympathetic neck pain.

Video -- Scissor Sisters & Kylie Minogue Live From Glastonbury 2010

I'm not really a fan of either but it's gay pride weekend and I though I should celebrate in some fashion (well, besides thinking about Hung's  Tom Jane and True Blood's Joe Manganiello being HBO's gay pride programming for this year).

This is as close as I come to celebrating the day ... a have a problem with crowds ... and really expensive bottles of water ... and most house music.

Plus, I'm proud every day.

Bonus clip from Glastonbury ...Muse with U2's The Edge plays Where the Streets Have No Name. Just click this link!

Pretty sure the BBC Three coverage of the festival will show up eventually on Palladia, the MTV Networks HD channel. I'll try to find that date for you.

Check out YouTube for video from both this festival and the NY and SF Pride fetes, just in case you have an aversion to crowds like I do.

Clip Bonanza -- Still Packing, @HBO's Hung Returns Tonight at 10

Behind every Michigan high school teacher/coach with an enormous penis trading sex for a little side money is ... well, in the image above it's a scheming raven-haired life coach ... and below left a harried flighty poet.

That's a little peek into the second season of HBO's Hung, which returns tonight after a new episode of True Blood at 10 eastern on the pay cable network.

That's just the beginning of what to expect, though. Yes, Lenore (Rebecca Creskoff) is back getting in the way of Jane Adams' Tanya as she tries to shepherd Ray (Tom Jane) through the maze of unsatisfied local matrons who are looking for something big to happen to them.

You remember Lenore from last season, she was the woman Tanya knew from her temp job that got Ray Drecker his first client while grabbing a freebie for herself and then just making Tanya's life miserable (okay, more miserable than Tanya makes her life for herself).

Tanya, however, will make a stand. She brings in a consult from a guy who seems to know his stuff in the pimp-ho relationship business. And, fortunately for you and me, it's Lennie James from CBS' Jericho and AMC's The Prisoner reboot that gets the call for this role. 

Christopher Lawrence from the Las Vegas Journal-Review:

This season, with his school's budget slashed -- there's enough money to bus the kids to away games, but not enough to drive them home, which doesn't even make sense, but whatever -- Ray begins subsidizing the baseball team with his earnings in the sex trade.

But that's just one of several things in "Hung" that don't ring true, making the series both phallus-y and fallacy.

"How the hell can he do just women?" a seasoned pimp played by the sadly underused Lennie James asks Ray's poet-turned-"manager" (Jane Adams). "That is not where the money's at." And, somewhere, Nye County's former prostidude ruefully nods in acknowledgement.

Yeah, about that ... I just don't think we'll ever see Ray take on a male client ... in Detroit ... on an HBO show. Maybe Showtime or Starz, but not HBO.

Of course I do challenge the forces of power at HBO and Time Warner to prove me wrong.

Watch three clips from the HBO website including a season one recap and previews by clicking this link  .

More after the jumperoo.

Video -- Paul Provenza's Showtime Series: 21 Comics, One Room, No Agenda

I never get the opportunity to thank Andy Dick. For what? For this ... if I'm watching something that Andy Dick is on and I'm still enjoying the show despite him, it's a good show.

Andy Dick was on this week's episode of The Green Room, Paul Provenza's new Showtime panel show. I still enjoyed it.

Must be a great show.

It is. Missed the first one (with Drew Carey and Eddie Izzard, dammit!) but I've been watching the others and having a good time with it.

Roseanne Barr told a great story about her conversation with the Mayor of Jerusalem about them looking out onto land in Gaza and asking why that land can't be shared? It was actually pretty moving.

Oh, and there are fart jokes, too.

Runs the gammut.

(BTW, Roseanne's running for Prez! And Prime Minister of Israel too. At the same time. It's true because it's on video -- click this link!)

Watch clips from the first four episodes from the Showtime website by clicking here. Sorry about the bleeps, they don't carry over to the show, fortunately.

This fourth episode will air this Thursday at 10:30 eastern.

BTW, you don't get all 21 comics at once. You gotta watch the whole series. The list includes Jonathan Winters, btw, in a rare TV appearance.

Frankenhole Preview Video: New Dino Stamatopoulos Adult Swim Show Debuts Sunday

Confession ... I like a little strange. Okay, more than a little.

If there were enough of it around to fill the aching void I would just go strange all day every day. None of this conventional shit, give me something weird.

Sick.

Twisted.

Strange.

Having said that, Dino Stamatopoulos has a new project on Adult Swim called Mary Shelley's Frankenhole. The creator of my favorite series on the channel, Moral Orel (yes, even the really really dark final season of the show), and co-star of NBC's Community (Starburns).

Watch some Moral Orel at their website by clicking here.

In an interview with the Adult Swim web lacky types, Dino described it like this:

It's about Victor Frankenstein, the mad genius who mastered immortality and now has also created an infinite number of portals (or Frankenholes) connecting his small, Eastern European village (that is teaming with monsters and supernatural forces) to every time period from the past and the future. This way, all sorts of historical characters can come and get endless types of operations done to them and have countless monsters kill and curse them, carelessly changing the course of history simply on stupid childish whims.

I love stupid childish whims! My life practically runs on them. This should be good. And Dino brings along Moral Orel alum Scott Adsit from 30 Rock, Jay Johnston from The Sarah Silverman Program and composer Mark Rivers. With additional music from Io Perry (website here).

Watch a clip from the pilot by clicking this link.

I've seen the first episode (a few times so far) and Frankenstein's first client is a guy named Blanket with a lot of inherited cash and a dead pop star dad he wants brought back to life.

More after the jump.

Tiffany v. Debbie Gibson Syfy Movie Smackdown Reaches a "Whole 'Nother Level"

OMG! It's the lead story at the Hollywood Reporter's TV homepage right now! The biggest deal going on in the television industry today? Only in my dreams  have I thought about what could've been last year when both Deb and Tiff starred in their own Syfy Channel movies.

Now news today that it's gonna happen, and I have to believe it's because the people just had to have it. They demanded, Syfy is delivering.

Hollywood Reporter:

The network promises an epic battle between the former teen pop stars, who will co-star in "Mega Python vs. Gatoroid."

Gibson will play a fanatical animal-rights activist who frees illegally imported exotic snakes from pet stores, sending them into the Everglades, where they grow to mega sizes. Tiffany will play an overzealous park ranger who uses dangerous methods to save endangered alligators.

In the script, the pair brawl at a party, then take matters outside into the swamp.

Oh great glorioski Dynasty Alexis and Krystal my God I can't believe it.

More as we get closer. Clips and key art as soon as they become available.

Thank you, Syfy. I always say if you're gonna do it go all the way. I admire your juevos.

See clips from each of their previous Syfy movies by clicking here (Gibson) or here (Tiffany).

One question, though ... shouldn't Gatoroid be a combination of Gatorade and steroids? 

And a comment, I hope those who detest the phrase "whole 'nother level" have stopped by, feel free to complain in the comments.

Video -- Hot In Cleveland Star Valerie Bertinelli with Craig Ferguson

Ah yes, worlds colliding again. Love that!

Just sit back, relax, and click this link. I haven't posted a Craig clip in a while, not that I'm not watching every episode, I just ... well, I've been lazy.

Enjoy. 

Catch a preview of tonight's episode of Hot in Cleveland by clicking here. At 10 pm eastern on TV Land.

Clips -- More Trouble for Oprah, Allegations of Rigged Vote on Reality Show Contest

Zach Anner is a 25-year-old from Austin, TX who entered a contest at Oprah.com to be a host of a new travel show on the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN, the single worst acronym in TV history).

You can watch his entry video by clicking this link.

Zach is a seasoned web celeb who also happens to have cerebral palsy. And his early lead in this contest led to an interview from ABC's Sharyn Alfonsi (click here for it).

Then he thanks his supporters in this clip (LINK) and then John Mayer got on YouTube and saluted him (LINK).

Apparently he was winning the contest until just a bit ago when a Dr. Phyllis started really pulling in the vote. Now there are allegations that Oprah's staff is rigging the vote to have Dr. Phyllis win.

One has to wonder if this all has anything to do with this blog with the URL ZachAnner.com that isn't Zach's and is alleging a racist agenda is what's behind the surge for the African-American Dr. Phyllis.

As I said, that blog (click here to see it, try not to linger 'cause it's just horribly racist itself) is not Zach's work but is "help" from someone that doesn't need to be helping. Doesn't need to be helping at all.

I think this guy is just ruining this for Zach, and I have no idea why someone would do that to a stranger. 

More on the allegations of wrongdoing at this Huffington Post link.

Clips -- HBO's GasLand: Jon Stewart's Interview with Director, Trailer, Links, Chat Transcript

I watched GasLand today just after watching last night's Daily Show with this interview (LINK) of director Josh Fox. Really powerful stuff. Frack, these people signing leases with these companies to let them drill for natural gas on their property are really really getting fracked. By fracking. Or rather a process called Hydraulic Fracturing, which you can learn about by clicking this link.

Watch the full trailer for the documentary by clicking this link.

More information can be found at Enviroblog.org, and a roundup of those people who are running the smear campaign against the film from the natural gas industry can be found at this Huffington Post link.

Live chat with the director and a rep from thge Environmental Working Group (EWG) at this link.

You could be watching this right now, it's on HBO on Demand, it starts at your pleasure if you have cable. It's also running on various HBO channels until the end of the month for those of you who have a dish.

You gotta see this, especially if you're someone contemplating going in with this deal. 

HBO site for the doc at this link.

Video -- Kevin Pollak Interviews Craig Ferguson

Haven't even watched it yet but it's right here for you by clicking this link.

The Kevin Pollak Chat Show, brought to you by Smirnoff, who have not and will not sent me a bottle for mentioning them. Though they could if they liked.

Have at it. No Craig until about 15 minutes in, but you'll miss the Walken impression if you skip to that.

Much Music Awards Video -- Live? Miley vs. Lambert? No Comparison At All

Even HuffPo has something about this today ...

Miley Cyrus proved she does sing live with her rendition of 'Party in the USA' at Canada's MuchMusic Video Awards Sunday night.

With a bandanna around her head Bret Michaels-style and a skimpy black outfit, Cyrus performed an occasionally off-key version of the song.

Watch her sing her hit, you know the one where she's nodding her head like yeah, moving her hips like someone who's much older than 17 years. Click this link for that.

On the other hand, Adam Lambert sings a song that's all in his upper register and nails it; every note, every run, every interval.

Click here for it.

Interesting, both come to their music careers via TV, one comes to their TV career via a fam0us dad and the other from a talent competition. 

Of course Adam had all that theater training ... can't use auto-tune on stage. 

I just don't understand why someone would record a song that they can't sing reliably on stage without studio tricks, especially in an age when artists are making their bank not on recording but on live shows.

The show awarding Canadian and international artists' videos and voted on by Canadian fans was simulcast on Much Music's US outlet, Fuse. Big winners were Canadians Drake (or Aubrey Graham from Degrassi: The Next Generation) and the Bieber.

Yes, the Bieber won his first awards ever. And yes, it was for that baby baby baby song. Hey, the fans voted, that's all I have to say.

About That Thing That Happened After Kathy Griffin on Bravo Last Night; Preview the Lohan Episode in Pics

Great opening for Kathy Griffin with the whole SVU behind the scenes, albeit a couple of forced exchanges between her and each of the leads who didn't look like they were into it. Liza made up for both Meloni and Hargitay, though.

About that, uh ... thing ... afterward ... my Twitter pal Damian Holbrooke at TV Guide on Markus Klinko, the photog who with his ex-wife have this new Bravo unscripted show after D-List on Tuesdays:

High-pitched, high-maintenance and bitchier than a Real Housewives reunion, the screechy mess of bad bleached hair and mangled phrases ("eeet vas love on virst siyeet") fancies himself "the James Bond of fashion photography," while coming off as a French-Hungarian-Swiss amalgam of ick with nothing more than a license to shoot celebrities.

Taste the ick by clicking this video link.

Does Andy Cohen have a closet full of douchebags that he can access at any moment?

Coming soon on the show? They shoot Lindsay Lohan (image above right) and the ex-wife (Indrina something or other) gets all caught up in Lohan faux-lez drama of sorts. At least that's what I gather from news reports.

Two more images of Lohan from Bravo after the jump.

Video -- The IT Crowd Series 4 U.S. Premiere August 10 on IFC

And it couldn't happen soon enough for me. I now know most of the dialogue from series one through three and especially the whole "Jen, this is the Internet" portion of episode The Speech .

You can memorize all the best stuff too by watching this clip over and over and over. 

Since the show premieres on its native UK Channel 4 on the 25th of this month I thought I'd point out some of the press the premiere is generating, especially since by the time we see these six new episodes in August it will no longer be current ... and you can bet the American press will be slight.

The British Comedy Guide has a lot of new content on the show including interviews with the cast and creator Graham Linehan, who (kind of) teases the following:

There'll be no hugging, no learning, no character arcs, and no one gets any wiser: I'm keeping them in a state of nervous stasis I guess. I've tried to continue on the idea that Roy, Moss and Jen are becoming better friends and are enjoying each other's company a bit more.

Thank you. No one grows and changes, no "very special episodes" and none of this critical juncture in the character's life crap. Just funny stuff happening to people that makes you laugh and save the rest for Sally Field and her poor pitiful rich people family with their feelings and tortured relationships.

No, I don't watch Brothers & Sisters. 

More after the jump.

Video -- On The God Question, Science Channel & Nat Geo Are Trying to Blow Your Mind

And they will continue to do so this Wednesday. At 9 eastern NatGeo will take you to a few people who claim they are the Second Coming  of Jesus Christ:

Meet three men who believe the Second Coming has already occurred and that they walk the Earth as the Messiah. Pastor Apollo Quiboloy, the founder of the Kingdom of Jesus Christ in the Philippines, claims to have built a worldwide following of six million. Sergei Torop, a former Russian traffic policeman, is believed by thousands to be the literal reincarnation of Jesus of Nazareth. Then, David Shayler, a former British MI5 agent and whistle-blower, claims to be the Jesus soul incarnated as man.

See a clip about the guy in Siberia who thinks it's him by clicking this. 

This is not, BTW, the Russell T. Davies/Chris Eccleston The Second Coming three-part British TV drama, it's a very different show. That's worth watching too, buy it by clicking this link.

Then at 10, Morgan Freeman's new series on the Science Channel, Through the Wormhole, will posit a number of theories about all kinds of stuff. Last week (episode will reair this week, check the Science Channel sked at this link) Morgan was asking all kinds of questions about God, watch him by clicking this link.

NY Times review at this link.

I haven't seen the NatGeo series but I watched some of the Morgan Freeman Science Channel show this past weekend. More on their great viral web campaign for the show from TVByTheNumbers.com at this link.

Starbucks to Offer Free Wi-Fi in Most US Stores Beginning in July

Free wi-fi at Starbucks? Talk about being wired, huh? Or wireless, actually. Okay, both.

I don't know what MOST U.S. locations means, but I think it means that if you're paying for wi-fi at Starbucks next month your store wasn't included.

Duh.

Apparently the push in the marketplace came from McDonalds, which began to offer free wi-fi six months ago. I just can't imagine sitting in a McD's for any period of time, the stench would overwhelm me. Don't get me wrong, I can eat a random "Royale with Cheese" but I can't stand the smell in store.

Starbucks, on the other hand, smells like morning. Morning in corporate America, sure, but morning still.

Go get a coffee and read this blog next month, the internet access (in most US locations) is on me.

UK Telegraph Report: Piers Morgan Will Replace Larry King on CNN

If it's true it's the end of an era for CNN.

I'll sit on this and keep my eye peeled for more info. Check this link for the report from UK's Telegraph.

Personally I think this is a huge mistake. Not the part where Larry leaves, but the other part.

Video -- Louis C.K.'s New FX Network Comedy is Almost Too Good For TV

I can't believe this show is gonna make air on American television, even on cable. I didn't think a US television exec had the balls.

John Landgraf had the balls. He said this to GQ about Louis C.K.'s new show, Louie:

I'm extremely bullish about Louie, I think it's one of the most original and funny shows I've seen in years. The broadcast networks saw his life story—a divorced dad raising kids—as ripe fodder for a traditional sitcom; I think they offered him more money to write the script than we gave him to produce the pilot. We told him we didn't need a traditional show, and to just use his stand-up as a base, tell non-linear stories, tell anecdotes, cast the people you want—or use the real people, we don't care! He's a one-man band. He can write, direct and star in it. We didn't really supervise it much past that.

Great, now I don't have to say all those things, which I agree with after watching the first four episodes of the show that will premiere on June 29.

More after the jump.

Video -- About that 'Stache, What I Think Michael Jordan is Thinking and Hitler's Response

This is my best guess about what's going on in Michael Jordan's mind ...

I've done it all. No one can touch me. The records are safe. I have more money than I'll ever need or want. All these years later and my jersey still sells like crazy ... both numbers even! I still have the endorsements, I can have any woman in the world that I want. Other athletes are harmed by their excesses but mine go by without a second glance. I could do anything and not spoil this life. I could ... why, I could even bring back the Hitler moustache and get away with it. It'll look completely different on me. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna give people a reason to hate my guts ... and still I'll get over. If I can do this there's nothing I can't do.

And there you have it. Just my opinion, but can you come up with any other explanation?

Watch the entire commercial by clicking here. 

And, see what Adolf has to say about the entire business by clicking this. But watch this second clip in a hurry, it'll be taken down before you can say Third Reich.

Video -- The A-Team Movie Opens Today, Jessica Biel's Outrageous NGTV Moment

Yeah, Jess, but if it really was I'd be standing in line right now to see what happens when Bradley Cooper and Liam Neeson get to the activity in question.

So, no cock-knocking, I don't think, but watch Jess, Liam, Brad, Sharlto Copley & Quinton "Rampage" Jackson tell NGTV's Carrie Keagan about their new one, opening today at theatres everywhere.

Just click this.

And, Carrie's VH1 Classic series One Hit Wonders, season two, is still running on cable, so check that out.

Video -- The BP Oil Spill Re-enacted by Cats in (Just Over) One Minute

Yes, Lindsay Lohan was actually part of the failed junk shot.

Fitting?

A great clip from Tremendous News that could have only been better with the addition of Matt Berry.

NPR's All Things Considered on House & the Cost of Care At Princeton‑Plainsboro

A great piece on NPR's All Things Considered this afternoon on exactly how much it would cost to get the kind of medical care delivered by the gang at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. They talked to former CNN correspondent and journalist Andrew Holtz, who's written a book called The Medical Science of House, MD (Amazon link).

The short answer? Quite a lot of money actually, and you more than likely won't get a team member as hot as Olivia Wilde.

You can listen to the piece by clicking this link which will take you to NPR.com.

3 Clips -- Valerie Bertinelli's At Home In Malibu Photo Shoot, New Interview, Hot in Cleveland Preview

Photo above for AARP Magazine by Art Streiber. Yes, I read the AARP Magazine, and I can still kick your ass. Yeah, you!

And Val's an AARP member AND just ran the Boston Marathon, so suck it, kids.

Watch Valerie and feature writer Meg Grant in the clip at this link. Read the cover story at this link including details on her recent engagement:

(T)he surprise engagement was the highlight. One night, back in their Florence hotel room after dinner at the city's oldest restaurant, Ristorante Buca Lapi, Vitale slipped a platinum wedding band engraved with Romanesque flourishes onto Bertinelli's finger and proposed. "If the time wasn't right, I wouldn't have asked," Vitale says. "We're both still a little afraid of commitment, but then we were over there, and it was like our souls were calibrated."

Follow Val on Twitter by clicking @WolfiesMom.

Watch two clips previewing Val's new TV Land sitcom Hot In Cleveland also starring Wendie Malick, Jane Leeves and Betty White. Click here and then here. It premieres on Wednesday, June 18th at 10 pm.

Show site at this link.

Clip Bonanza -- Glee's Jane Lynch on Fans, Fame, Films, Future

Jane (above, with cast members at The Grove in Los Angeles) in two clips, first from the Hollywood Reporter talking about the fan response to the show (LINK) and then Time magazine where she talks about her career and the call that landed her in Vancouver on the set of Best in Show (LINK).

And just for good measure, here's Jane and Jennifer Coolidge (love her!) from that film (LINK).

Oh, what the hell, here she is talking to Katie Couric for Katie's web show (LINK). Four clips? I'm such a mensch.

That last one isn't really a clip, per se. It runs over 30 minutes. Haven't even finished it myself.

What's Jane doing this Summer? Well first you'll get to see her on the season finale of the Starz series Party Down reprising her season one role of Constance Carmell (image above left).

After that one imagines she'll take a short break and enjoy her new spouse and her child until Glee starts shooting season two and she goes out to promote the new Simon Pegg - Nick Frost movie called Paul, about two scifi/comic geeks from the UK who run into something in Area 51 during a cross country trip after Comic-Con.

Video -- Katie Couric to MSG's FanCam: "It's Called a Gleek. Do Your Homework, Dude!"

Katie schools MSG's Alex Iglesias, and, impressively, looks like she's standing in line to get in like everyone else, not getting the VIP side door treatment of making that call to whoever to get special access.

Of course I don't know that for sure but I don't think the guy (Alex) from MSG gets to interview at the VIP entrance to Radio City Music Hall.

Also in this clip, a guy who really needs to learn the lyrics to Lean On Me, which he butchers. Dude, they're right here (LINK). I even found you the Glee cast version lyrics.

See the press images for tonight's first season finale, Journey, after the jump.

Click here for a preview, here for cast reaction to shooting the season ender.

Spartacus Star Whitfield Cancer-Free, Tells Deadline Hollywood: "I'm Rarin' To Go"

Andy talked by phone to Nellie Andreeva from New Zealand at Deadline Hollywood:

While Whitfield was undergoing treatment, Starz announced a six-episode Spartacus prequel focused on two other characters from the series, played by Lucy Lawless and John Hannah. Whitfield will appear in two of the episodes and is expected to get in front of the camera sometime in October, giving him plenty of time to get in shape. (He notes that for the first season, he only had a month to prepare.) Upon wrapping the prequel, the cast and crew are expected to segue directly into filming Season 2 of the original series.

(snip)

“After the initial shock – I was a healthy young man and had no idea that this could happen -- it was frustrating that the first season was ending on such a high note and we could’ve been rolling into season 2."

Imagine your big international break being interrupted by non-hodgkin's lymphoma. That's just crazy stuff to process. This is one fortunate guy.

Of course now he will be having to hit the gym and get back in Sparty shape. See, there's a reality show right there, that's how easy it is to come up with crap to put on VH1. But I digress ...

Great news for him and his wife Vashti and two kids. And for us. More Spartacus: Blood and Sand coming soon, from the network that will bring you the new series of Torchwood.

Oh, and Andy will be at Comic-Con with his cast and crew mates from the show. Score! I'm so there.

Wired.com -- Vote: Who Should Buy Blackwater USA? My Fringe-y Response

I choose Massive Dynamic as the company that should buy the disgraced paramilitary corporation.

Why? Because Massive's gonna need the firepower for the eventual war between our world and the alternaWorld where Walternate is the Secretary of Defense with a grudge. After all, someone stole his son and that'll get your knickers in a twist to end all twists.

Nina Sharp will need the troops to stand between her alternaLimb and those who would want the technology to be returned to its rightful universe.

But mostly I want Massive to buy Blackwater so that all of Blackwater's dealings will be limited to a fictional universe that only exists on my TV. This might be the only way to neutralize the evil that comes from the former Erik Prince (of darkness) fronted company.

The world does work like that, right?

I'm also looking into alternaJon Gosselin remarrying Kate. I figure that gets rid of both of them. I realize that leaves the kids here. I think we (all of us) are better suited to care for them, don't you? It takes a village, you know.

Conceptual hat tip to Toby at Inner Toob.

Read the Wired.com blog post at this link.

Video -- Lady Gaga's Alejandro

Hat tip to Towleroad. Go visit Andy (not that he is desperate for readers or anything).

Watch the clip by clicking this link. Because apparently someone will smack you down (above) if you don't. Nah, she's all about the love, you know that.

Hey, can we get a video for the song Monster now? It's my favorite song off The Fame Monster. And, I have it storyboarded in my head. It all takes place in and around Village Cigars on 7th Ave. South and Christopher Street circa 1987.

Breaking News! Torchwood Returns ... to Starz! With Barrowman & Myles & Newbies!

Very very nice outside the box thinking. Congrats to Starz and Chris Albrecht and BBC Worldwide for getting it done.

Thanks to multiple sources including Hibberd, AfterElton.com and Ausiello for the heads up.

Of course everyone but Jack and Gwen are dead so there will have to be new cast members, they are TBA.

Here's a massive excerpt from the press release which you can read in full by clicking here:

"Torchwood" is a drama that puts extraterrestrial threats into a very real world, and asks how humanity deals with the danger - while fighting mankind's darkest instincts. The series' previous three seasons aired on BBC America in the U.S. and garnered record-breaking ratings for the network. Created by visionary writer/producer Russell T Davies, "Torchwood" has to date been located primarily in Cardiff, Wales. The new series will allow Davies and his writing team to tell a more explosive and global story, one that takes advantage of the unlimited narrative opportunities of a premium television service like Starz.

Davies and BBC Worldwide Productions' SVP Scripted Julie Gardner return as executive producers, with Davies also serving as show-runner for the new "Torchwood."

"We're committed to programming exceptional television that is entertaining, imaginative and provides a premium TV experience, and by any measure the new concept for 'Torchwood' fits that mandate," Starz, LLC, President and CEO Chris Albrecht said. "I've been part of successful partnerships with Jane Tranter and the BBC previously, and I'm very much looking forward to working with them again."

"'Torchwood' has attracted remarkable attention and loyalty in both the UK and U.S., and in this new partnership with Starz, the next chapter will not only reward our current fans, but also introduce new viewers to the most impressive installment yet," said Jane Tranter, EVP, BBC Worldwide Productions. "Chris Albrecht and his team are committed to delivering quality premium programming to their subscribers, also a core attribute of the BBC, and we are excited to be working with them as the 'Torchwood' adventure continues."

"Russell, Jane and Julie came to us with a compelling vision for the evolution of the 'Torchwood' saga that really takes the story into whole new areas," added Carmi Zlotnik, Managing Director of Starz Media – the production and development division of Starz. "The compelling story and characters this trio created provide a strong template for driving this narrative in exciting ways."  

Ben Stephenson, Controller, BBC Drama Commissioning said: "We have a long history of working with many U.S. networks, but it is incredibly exciting to be working with Starz for the first time, as well as to be reunited with the best of British in Russell, Jane and Julie. 'Torchwood' will burst back onto the screen with a shocking and moving story with global stakes and locations that will make it feel bigger and bolder than ever"

More on this later. In the meantime we can do the dance of joy.

Today Show Video -- Anthony Bourdain Rips Food Net's Semi-Homemade Sandra Lee

Finally someone says what my sister and I have been saying to each other for years. Sandra Lee's food show Semi-Homemade Cooking is a travesty.

Yes, it is. Something is either homemade or out of the box. There is nothing in between. And, she's a stick, I don't buy for a second that she enjoys eating.

Watch him say it himself by clicking this link and watching him talk to Lauer this morning. He's promoting a new memoir that includes him taking shots at a couple more celebrity chefs as well.

He didn't just air out his own dirty laundry, he did the honors for friend and golfing buddy David Chang of the Momofuku empire as well, as reported here by New York Magazine's Grub Street blog.

The book? You can get your own copy by clicking here and asking Amazon to send you one. They want money from you, but you're used to that, yes?

Video -- "Hi, I'm Zac Efron. My Head's On a Squirrel" & Another Big Penis Show Tonight on MTV

Zac's nominated for an MTV Movie Award and tonight's the night those are given out. Aziz Ansari, who is a big deal and not a Who's That per that person I fought with on Facebook, hosts.

Watch a promo featuring Sarah Silverman and Efron by clicking here. Aziz with Bieber and The Hurt Locker's Jeremy Renner? This link.

After the show, MTV and Jeffrey Katzenberg's son David would really like you to stay tuned for yet another show about a guy (younger guy, high school this time) whose life is impacted when the people around him find out that he's been gifted with a big dick called The Life and Hard Times of R.J. Berger.

This kid is no Tom Jane, though (image above left). I'm certainly open to large organs (well, not at the moment, I'm here typing right now) but attach them to men I wanna look at, okay?

I would feel like a nasty, disgusting ol' man paedo if I watched this thing.

Then again it's for MTV, a channel that claims to pursue the 12-24 demographic. And that's certainly not me.

Whatev, here's a promo for the show, click this. And thanks MTV for helping even more young guys feel insecure about their manhood.

Video -- Sandra Bullock, the Troops Choice, Surprises Spike's Award Show Crowd

Hat tip to E!'s Mark Malkin.

This award show from Spike, the Guy's Choice Awards, airs June 20 on the cable channel.

She looks great, speaks from the heart ... well, I've loved her since the TV version of Working Girl. Yes, there was a TV version with her in the Melanie Griffith role.

No, seriously, there was. And I liked it. The rest of America? Not so much, sadly. You can watch the opening credits (but nothing else, and you gotta click over to YouTube as there's no embed code) by clicking this.

Video -- Have You Seen? Baby Gaga Stars in Telephone

You can be really disappointed that there's no Baby Beyonce (I was) or you can gloss over that and just enjoy the clip. Choose the latter.

Hat tip to New York Magazine's Vulture blog, where you can now read Joe Adalian, formerly of TheWrap.com, who is now their TV guy.

Video -- As a Public Service to You Adults ... I Present Justin Bieber From the @TodayShow

Why? Because there's so much I just don't understand, and I thought there might be a few of you out there who feel the same.

Like the hair? What's up with the hair? I could understand if he was covering plastic surgery scars but it's obvious he's not, so why can't we see the periphery of his face? Or is that where he receives the secret messages from our alien overlords?

It's not natural that hair should grow like that.

And, the songs ... he's not, uh ... great ... or unique or ...

I'm just confused by it all. I will admit that this is the first time that I've heard the songs all the way through. Now I know why. I just don't understand it, there's nothing special about this kid.

But I promised all the clips from the Today show plaza so here they are:

• Never Say Never 
• One Time 
• Somebody to Love (no not the song by Queen)
• Baby, Baby, Baby (the song so ... so something, they had to name it three times)

Have at it.

BTW, the comments here are moderated. I'm just sayin'.

Video -- Tosh.0 Returns with Guest Star Jackie Chan

Jackie is of course promoting his new Karate Kid movie with that wise-mouthed kid of Will Smith's in the lead.

C'mon, it's Summer, not much else on ... set your DVR to Daniel Tosh's show, if he keeps his clothes on he's not bad to look at. Without a shirt, though, it's like looking straight into a whiteout blizzard.

Get a tan, man. Call Snooki, she'll set you up.

Watch a clip at this link. Not the Jackie Chan clip but A clip.

Whatev, it's what I've got, and the show airs in an hour on the east coast so we'll go with it.

Video from Hulu -- Previews of All the New ABC Shows for This Summer and Beyond

Right here. They're in no specific order, but I believe the first one you'll see on air is Scoundrels, the show about a family of crooks topped by David James Elliott from JAG and Virginia Madsen from the Botox ads ... and her Oscar-nominated performance in Sideways, okay fans of hers?

(They get on me for harping on the Botox ad thing. But c'mon, that's a check no one needs to cash.)

I am very high on the Matthew Perry series Mr. Sunshine and the Dana Delany-starring Body of Proof. You should know, though, that's just from the cast and these clips.

Dark horse? I really like the chemistry between characters in Better Together, and the behind the camera crew on this (Jim Burrows, Shana Goldberg-Meehan) is impressive. And, it brings Debra Jo Rupp from That 70s Show back to prime time and I ... LOVE ... HER!!!

Again, just based on the clip.

Once again, more as we get closer.

3 Premiere Clips -- Gleeks: You Would Love Beautiful People From UK's BBC on Logo, Try Some!

So you sit there each week watching Glee and you think to yourself, "I like this show but there's not enough Kurt, and he should have an accent and ironically live in a city in England famous for imprisoning Oscar Wilde"

That's Beautiful People, the BBC Two musical comedy series based on the memoir of my email pal, Barney's creative director and raconteur Simon Doonan who grew up in the afore-referenced (?!?)  Reading, England.

See three non-spoilery clips from the season two premiere by clicking this link. They'll pop up right here.

Seriously, if you're loving that other musical comedy TV show you should really give this one a shot, it returns with new eps on June 12 at 10 eastern on Logo.

And if you don't think you get Logo, look again. You probably do. It's that channel with the RuPaul reality show. Catch up on season one by watching them all at LogoOnline.com at this link.

More as we get closer to the season two premiere.

Dutch Oven Victim? You Need to Buy This -- As Seen on TV

Look at the detail from their website above, it looks like he made her hair frizz!

They call it, and the website, "Better Marriage Blanket." I call it The Anti-Dutch Oven-ator. My name's so much more cool.

Click this link and watch the commercial.

I have no idea if it works. If you buy one drop me a note.

That's SIR Patrick Stewart, Thank You!

Congratulations. Watch him talk about his knighthood by clicking this. From ITN.

CNN.com/Entertainment Complete Redesign is Stunning, Easier, Splashy

Thanks, CNN.

While you're at CNN.com btw make sure you read anything and everything from my pal Lisa Respers-France, who calls me occasionally to ask me what I think about ... stuff. TV stuff, she doesn't really care what I think about nuclear proliferation.

The redesign makes CNN's entertainment news  so much easier to navigate. I'll be stopping by much more often.

Also, check out the CNN Marquee blog at this link.

Who's The Only Late Night Host Smart Enough For a PBS Special?

It's our Craig, of course!

Yes, our Craig. He'll be hosting America's Orchestra: Celebrating 125 Years of the Boston Pops, the annual Fourth of July celebration from the Esplanade in Boston.

Guests include Audra McDonald, Kristin Chenoweth, Josh Groban, James Taylor, Vanessa Williams, Yo-Yo Ma, Wynton Marsalis, and Roberta Flack.

Craig even asks you to watch. Click this link for it.