I Am A TV Junkie

NGTV Video -- Boobalicious Daisy "of Love" De La Hoya With Carrie Keegan

And boner killer Riki Rachtman. Boner killer. Cock blocker. Whatev. It's a paid TV gig.

Awww, Riki, it's okay. You don't wanna be promoting the boners of the Daisy of Love contestants, they're all tools.

Gotta believe at least one of them will show up on season two or three of Tool Academy.

(Audition site for season two right here at this link, Tools!)

How big are Daisy's flowerpots? Bigger than Carrie's hands, certainly. You'll see.

Note to Daisy fans: I have sat on that exact stool that Daisy does in the clip. So, if you kiss my ass you're only two degrees of separation away from her.

Clip after the jump. Also at NGTV, Carrie talks to the casts of Terminator Salvation (with the very hot Sam Worthington and Opie's daughter Bryce Dallas Howard using the C word) and Drag Me To Hell.

Ab0ut Worthington, the latest Aussie to hit our shores, from Wired Magazine, he lets us know that he's up for action (LINK):

Four years ago, Australian actor Sam Worthington sold his house, packed two bags — one for books, one for clothes — and set out on a Hollywood trip backward through time.

First, he spent 18 months playing an intergalactic explorer in James Cameron’s futuristic sci-fi feature Avatar, set for release in December. Then he appeared as renegade mystery man Marcus Wright, opposite Christian Bale, in Terminator Salvation’s near-future nightmare world. Now Worthington is four weeks into production on ancient mythology remake Clash of the Titans.

“I’ve been working on Titans for two weeks and I’m more bruised and battered than I ever was on Terminator,” says Worthington during a break from filming earlier this month. “We take on Medusa, we take on the witches and we just kill everything else. It’s a bit brutal.”

Lots of him in the future, certainly.

Get Up Close with Carrie and Daisy and Riki after the jump.

2 Clips -- BBC Hamlet with David Tennant & Patrick Stewart Set for 2010 US Air Date

So, David Tennant is the new host of Masterpiece on PBS, his Hamlet is coming to the US in video form and there's renewed interest in a Doctor Who movie with Tennant in the lead.

Variety:

The major players in the cast of the Royal Shakespeare Company’s 2008 production of “Hamlet,” including David Tenant and Patrick Stewart, have been reassembled for a screen version that will air on UK channel BBC Two later this year and in the U.S. and Japan in 2010.

It looks to me like someone's making a concerted effort to establish a US fan base. And, I think it just might work for him.

I can't imagine it won't. He's very charming ... and Clive Owen's not getting any younger.

(Oh, snap!)

After the jump, some audio of Tennant doing the role with an image of him in the recent production, just to give you a taste, and some stage door footage from his London run in the play.

Video -- Did You See Mayim Bialik on What Not To Wear?

I missed it. I was probably watching Deadliest Catch or that new Jesse James show.

Yeah, sure I was. And, I'm marrying Carrie Prejean tomorrow!

Actually Clinton and Stacey are not part of my TV diet, but since they do everyone else's show I know who they are. And, of course you can't not know Mayim Bialik.

Do you realize that NBC would kill for a sitcom that rated as well as Blossom did today? They wouldn't even mind it being the catalyst for Joey Lawrence in exchange for a decent 18-49 share on a weeknight.

Anyhow, haven't seen Mayim since her recurring role on Fat Actress, so I really wanted to check in on this but I failed, as it aired last yesterday. Already checked the schedule page at TLC and they indicate no reairs of the ep, unfortunately.

You can go to the show blog to see what they came up with for Mayim to wear, but you have to watch the clip posted here after the jump to see what Miss Thing was wearing at what looks like the West Hollywood Pavillions market.

(A market that sells more late night beer and Crisco than any other nationwide, btw. That's my guess, anyway.)

And, photos from the episode at this link. The reveal is really the big deal. Just look at the blog post with the nice pic of her in the dress.

Video -- IFC Looks at the White House Press Corp Tonight at 11

A show that should definitely be on your DVR queue is The IFC Media Project, hosted by MTV alum Gideon Yago.

Not enough people know where their media comes from and who owns it and what the agenda of those people are. Note: It's not just the Jews!

(Another note ... The media? Not actually so liberal. Yes, I realize the writer, Eric Alterman, is regualrly noted as part of said Librulmedia, but he makes a very good case between the covers of this book.)

Tonight the show looks at four journalists who call the White House Briefing Room their workspace (and I'm sure they will inhabit many points in the political spectrum) whose work they have followed since the Obama inauguration.

Yago does a great job moving things along and it's edited snappily and there's an animated feature each episode called The News Junkie that pretty entertaining while it gets its points across. Worth recording, especially now that all your fave prime time shows are in reruns.

Think of it as the Summer enrichment class that your local school district just canceled because there's no money. And there's lots of stuff like that on the tube if you just look. You don't get that swell continuing education certificate of completion, but as you know one of those and five bucks will buy you a Sunday New York Times.

Watch the News Junkie segment on the Somali pirates and coverage of Africa in the news in a short clip after the jump.

And, if you go to the show site, you can watch an interview with Janeane Garofalo where her hair looks clean (which as you know is my pet peeve with her). On Jimmy Fallon this past week however? Janeane was not so much rocking the clean hair. Alas, she'll never know, she no longer has web access she told Jimmy.

I mean c'mon, is it a lot to ask someone to wash their hair?

Video -- Hey, The Dish is Back on Style Network

I would like to credit this blog for the show (your host is Danielle Fishel)  coming back, because this was the only place on the web apparently that put together a save-our-show strategy for The Dish.

But I think it was just good decision making for the gang at Style.

Here's a clip, and watch full episodes on Style Saturdays at 10 pm (or, set your DVR for the first airing, which strangely comes at 6 am Sat. mornings.

No, I do not know why. Watch the show, it's a good time. Their website is at this link.

LINK

By Special Request w/Video -- Kings Returns June 13, Dirty Sexy Money July 18

My favorite Oaktown Girl (Hey!) requested info that I happen to have, so I'm sharing it with all of you.

First, the Dirty Sexy Money news ... the remaining eps, per HitFix.com, begin airing on Saturdays beginning July 18. That's when the remaining eps of Eli Stone finish airing which happens in the same time slot that Pushing Daisies is currently airing (as of last night, at 10 pm).

Kings is back sooner, but of course we have more episodes in the can of that than any of the individual ABC run-off dramas. Kings returns June 13 with their sixth of 13 eps.

And, just for those who are itching for it, NBC has Merlin coming in on Sunday June 21 at 8 and The Philanthropist (James Purefoy, Mmmmmm) starts on Wednesday June 24.

Before Kings comes back I'll do a catch-up post for those like me who were put off by the constant schedule changing and the finding out that it wouldn't be more than one season (because it won't be unless all of a sudden it becomes the most popular leisure time pursuit in the nation very quickly).

And I'll have a lot more on The Philanthropist as well, which co-stars Jesse L. Martin (Law & Order) and Neve Campbell. There's a panel at the Paley Center (a reasonably priced panel, btw, $20 for non-members, info at this link) that I might attend the night before the premiere.

And finally, I have clips from The Philanthropist and Merlin after the jump. By the way, the witch in the Merlin clip, under all that makeup is Torchwood star Eve Myles, one of my personal favorites (image right).

Also know that I'm holding my interview with Anthony Head until we get close to the Merlin premiere. I'll put that up the week it debuts.

One more thing ... The Listener premieres on NBC on June 4. More on that show this week. As soon as I find out more about it. For starters, he's a guy with telepathic abilities. Okay, but what else? I'll find out.

UPDATED: Video -- Susan Boyle's BTG Finals Performance, Judge's Reactions

UPDATE: She came in second to a very good dance team (think America's Best Dance Crew) but it's like comparing apples to oranges. I prefer a contest where everyone does the same kind of thing. They are called Diversity and their performance is in a clip after the jump.

She goes back to the song that brought her this far.

LINK

No results yet.

Question, is it just me or are these Ant and Dec guys just a bit more insufferable than Seacrest? Or is it because there are more than one of them?

Hmmm.

New Better Off Ted Episodes This Summer (Yes, Summer!) on ABC

And hot new images from the new eps, like this one above.

Yes, it's still the office comedy about the hi-tech firm with Jay Harrington (Mmmmm) in the lead.

See, Ted's right there above, jousting. Time travel storyline? I dunno, the possibilities, especially at a place like Veridian Dynamics where anything could and does happen are endless.

This is great news.

(Especially after watching The Goode Family and shuddering in horror for almost all 30 minutes it was on last night. One basic joke repeated with different flourishes over and over does not make an animated comedy. Also, if you're gonna do an animated show use the medium to its limits and don't simply draw a standard single camera comedy. Sheesh! Funny, I loved Beavis & Butthead, but since that all the Mike Judge stuff that has worked for me has been live action.)

Variety reports that the show will return on June 23 (Tuesday) and will run after the return of the legendary ABC hit The Superstars, which comes to prime time this Summer, which you can read about at this ESPN.com link.

Variety:

Alphabet still had six episodes of "Ted" left from its midseason run earlier this year; those segs will now air Tuesdays at 9 p.m. starting June 23, behind new reality competish "The Superstars."

The Victor Fresco-produced laffer, from 20th Century Fox TV, then returns in midseason, where it will be paired with "Scrubs." Alphabet ordered 13 more episodes of "Ted" for next season.

And what was it that I said previously, as I love to quote myself? I said:

At least, as I've said in the past, put it back 0n this Summer so it can be discovered. I'm sure you could give it the lead out from Wipeout! and score some ratings points and possibly get some juice going with the show.

Well, it's not reruns it's new eps, and it's not Wipeout! it's The Superstars, but same idea.

And it all has that new-ish sheen that you don't get a lot of in the Summer with US scripted TV.

Video widget doohickey after the jump.

My interview with Malcolm Barrett (Lem) and Jonathan Slavin (Phil) at this link.

Maybe they go to a renaissance fair. Maybe someone swallowed something they weren't supposed to (Linda?) and hallucinates.

Maybe you have your own ideas and leave a comment to that extent below.

Wow! Must See Video -- Torchwood Children of Earth New Trailer

Now I'm more excited than ever. This is gonna be really really good.

I just hope it's not really the end for Torchwood.

LINK

Reported: Adam Lambert Will Come Out on Upcoming Rolling Stone Cover

Which made me think of these Dr. Hook lyrics:

And we keep getting richer but we cant get our picture
on the cover of the Rolling Stone

Rolling Stone ... wanna see my picture on the cover
Stone ... wanna buy 5 copies for my mother
Stone ... wanna see my smilin face on the cover of the Rolling Stone.

On the cover of the Rolling
Wanna see my picture on the cover
wanna buy 5 copies for my mother
wanna see my smilin face on the cover of the Rolling Stone.

Maybe Adam might exchange the word lover for mother in these lyrics.

HuffPo:

'American Idol' runner-up Adam Lambert is not only openly gay, he is planning a Rolling Stone cover to confirm it after months of speculation, reports the NY Post.

'Idol' judge Kara DioGuardi is on a pretaped 'View' airing Friday, and during her sit-down she says he is out.

"I don't think that Adam was ever in [the closet]," she tells the ladies. "I think he was always openly out."

Now, let's a work together, Idol fans, and help Adam (and all the rest of us) get the right now marry.

Rolling Stone website (nothing there yet on this) at this link. Bookmark it and check with them for the cover image.

Video -- Leno's Penultimate Show, Billy Crystal Demonstrates His Injury-Related Pee Stance

It's Leno's final Tonight Show tonight, which would be a much bigger deal, I believe, if Jay were retiring from a nightly TV show.

Jay returns in September weeknights at 10, as you know. I'll be watching. Not his show, but something else at 10 pm, something scripted. Something that makes the effort to engage me from the beginning to the end, not something that you can pop in on mid-show and enjoy, which NBC thinks is an advantage.

We apparently disagree on that.

What you realize after watching this clip from last night is that while we weren't looking, Billy Crystal became an old Jewish man from Long Island. Actually, he was always a Jewish man from Long Island, now he's old.

Like Bob Hope old.

No, I don't mean that he's as old as Bob Hope would be today if he was still alive. I mean "I haven't aged a day and now Billy Crystal's on talk shows talking about golf injuries old."

Because I haven't aged a day and yet Billy Crystal is now Bob Hope's age.

How did that happen?

They should give him a series of specials on NBC. Brooke Shields and Marie Osmond are still available for guest spots and Bob Alberti is still available to be the music director.

I'd watch. Again, I wouldn't watch that but something scripted that runs against it on another network that attempts to engage me from beginning to end.

I guess I've made myself clear. Yes?

Watch Hope and Shields on YouTube at this link.

Leno clip after the jump.

Video -- True Blood S2: Vampire News You Can Use and a Contest

Just whetting your whistle for season two of the HBO show. Watch till the end for news about the contest.

LINK

2 Clips -- Doctor Who Specials Get US Airdates: Very Important Info, or Most Important Info EVER?

And, they go first to BBC America and not Sci Fi or SyFy or whatev.

From the press release:

As part of the same deal, BBC AMERICA acquired the 2008 Christmas Special, The Next Doctor featuring David Morrissey and Dervla Kirwan.  It will air Saturday, June 27, 2009. 

The first of the 2009 specials, Doctor Who: Planet of the Dead, premieres in July.  As a London red bus takes a detour to an alien world it forces the Doctor (Tennant) to work with the extraordinary Lady Christina (Michelle Ryan, Bionic Woman).  But the mysterious planet holds terrifying secrets hidden in the sand and time is running out as the deadly Swarm gets closer. 

(snip)

Building off the successful Supernatural Saturdays programming block, Doctor Who will be leveraged across multiple platforms including Doctor Who: Planet of the Dead, the first Doctor Who DVD to be released on Blu-ray, shortly after the U.S. broadcast premiere.

(snip)

Doctor Who: The Waters of Mars is the second special and along with the two additional untitled specials will premiere later in 2009 and early 2010.  

For those of you who haven't seen it yet, the swarm in Planet of the Dead has nothing to do with the Vashda Nerada. Totally different swarm, just so you know.

Then, in the middle of this press release is something that I think indicates a move that makes me very happy:

“The outstanding quality of the Doctor Who scripts from Russell T Davies and the on-screen dynamic that David Tennant brings to the role are a magic combination for our viewers. Russell’s spin-off series Torchwood is already our highest rated show on the channel and I know the fans will follow these new specials with equal passion and support.  We’re thrilled to bring this iconic show to BBC AMERICA, home of the best British sci-fi programming on television,” says President, BBC Worldwide America Garth Ancier.

Does that mean that series five will come directly to BBCA? I certainly hope so, though I also hope that I have BBCA in HD by that time. Actually, Planet of the Dead airing on Sci Fi would let me see the show in HD for the first time ever but I've always been of the mind that the cable channel should hold onto Doctor Who and create an appointment viewing event out of it.

If series five does indeed get its first US run from BBCA, it's a ratings winner for them. As long as I get my BBCA HD channel by then.

Clips from both, in sequence, after the jump. I especially love Murray Gold's music that opens this first clip. In fact, I'm listening to it right now, in May, and it still makes me all tingly with Christmas cheer.

Video -- MSNBC's Keith and Rachel on Radio Host Mancow and Waterboarding

Of course it's torture. Mancow now knows that, I know that, you know that, Keith and Rachel know that, the Japanese soliders that we prosecuted for waterboarding during WWII know that, John McCain knows that, the US soliders who were prosecuted by the US for waterboarding a Vietnamese solider in 1968 know that ... and of course, Cheney and Hannity still sit on the other side.

They sit with a small group that makes lots of noise, but I notice that Sean still hasn't taken Keith up on his offer. Mancow did, and now Keith's making a sizeable donation to a veterans group in return.

I think the problem here is that Sean Hannity is just ... a pussy. Or, maybe he just doesn't respect veterans enough to go through with it.

Then again, what would Sean Hannity know about respect for veterans?

Clip after the jump.

2 Clips -- Quickly, Some Great Stuff I Watched Yesterday, Today

Somewhat representative clips for both of these after the jump.

A) More of the first series of Primeval today ... on my iPod (I know, but I needed to be out of the house and waiting somewhere for a while).

I know, I really just should have pushed through the sluggish premiere of series one, but you know it was right after a great series of Torchwood. Also, it took these people f0rever in the Forest of Dean to figure out that the hell was going on with the anomaly, which, c'mon, was a bit glittery and sparkly to be afraid of, wasn't it?

(The anomaly is based on a dress that Mitzi Gaynor wore on a 1970s CBS variety special. Or, if you're British .... strike Gaynor, add Shirley Bassey on Val Parnell's Sunday Night at the London Palladium.)

I was thinking today that a US network would have probably switched genders on the Cutter couple, having the wife be the thoughtful professor and the husband be the wild-eyed scowling megalomaniacal era-hopping ... sonofabitch.

I wonder if they'll go that way in the US theatrical version? I think the rest of the relationships hold up if you do that. Making the Steven character a woman might be going a bit too far, but if you were to keep Steven a guy and switch the leads, that Steven - male version of Helen storyline gets a lot more interesting.

B) Season two of the documentary series I Can't Believe I'm Still Single on Showtime on Demand.

You know the game Name That Tune, yes? I thought so. So I think you'll understand this -- Eric Schaeffer can take me from hysterical laughter to utter disgust in four notes ... no, make it three ... actually two notes. Or words, rather.

Those two words? Poop noodle. And you'll have to click the link for a definition, from YouTube. And, honestly, it's not really his two words.

Still, I blame him. Without him it would not have been brought to my attention.

In 2005 Schaeffer wrote, directed and starred in an FX series that ran in a block with the first season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia called Starved.

I liked Starved more. The other one got renewed. Funny, it's not even on Hulu and you'd think it would be. We could all request it by writing to content@hulu.com and seeing what happens.

Anyway, Starved was a show about an eating disorders group, Schaeffer being one of the group. His binge food was a Nemo's chocolate cake, one of which I saw at the market the other day and you just can't think about Nemo's chocolate cake without thinking about Eric Schaeffer.

These season two episodes have him meeting 10 women, one of which is the poop noodle lady (or at least that's how I'll always know her.

The episode airing this Saturday night at 12:15 AM (Sunday morning, DVR it and watch it during conscious hours) is one I have seen. What happens in each episode is that a producer and a friend of his goes and does a pre interview with a seemingly nice woman who then tell she has indeed seen season one of this show and STILL wants to meet Eric Schaeffer.

Including this very nice improv comedy artist/dog walker woman with pretty eyes who could do better.

You might wonder why I say that, and I can't really do the man justice so I have a reading list for you, and that reading list starts after the jump.

(It's not all reading after the jump, there are the aforementioned clips, too.)

American Life TV Sold, New Owners Including Robert Schuller's Son Will Promote "Family Values"

Sure. Some guy you don't know who doesn't know your kids or anything about you who has enough money and wealthy friends to buy a cable network is gonna use that channel to shape the way you raise your family.

As if. Number one, hands off my family! Number two, it's television and television is nothing more than an advertising delivery system. You squeeze what joy you can from the time in between commercials. It is not a tool for raising your kids, no matter how much you would like it to be.

There are so many things wrong with that of course, with their imposing their values on us inhabiting the top spot for me.

The principals are Robert A. Schuller and Chris Wyatt, who founded GodTube.com and used to work at CBS, per this Hollywood Reporter story which promises lots of new original content at the expense of some of my favorite classic shows.

What is interesting here is that Schuller was thought to be succeeding his dad as the defacto host (host? star? anchor?) of the Hour of Power, which emanates from the Crystal Cathedral in nearby Garden Grove, California. Yet last October he left citing irreconcilable differences.

Yes, just like in a divorce, only he seems to have divorced a company, or church, or whatever hybrid of the two this is.

Soon you will no longer be able to watch the Monday comedy block with Newhart and Mary and WKRP, no more hour long drama night, either. Where will I watch the occasional Lou Grant, then?

Hulu! Click here!

Fortunately there will be a rebranding of the channel, too. I wouldn't want something as un-American as a TV channel attempting to impose its values on American families to be called American Life TV.

Video -- Watch Beautiful People Debut Tonight on Logo Or Right Here Right Now!

Watch the trailer now, watch the first episode tonight at 10:30, and then watch it again each day for the rest of the week at LogoOnline.com until the next episode airs.

Actually you can watch it online right now. Even right here at my blog if you want. I've just posted the entire first episode after the jump.

Trailer right below, for those of you who are saving it for your big (bigger) screens.

LINK

ABC's Castle, My Memorial Weekend TV Marathon Sets Me for Season Two

I had options. I could have watched the NCIS marathon on USA Network.

(It's an entirely different post, and it's to come -- as soon as I can swallow my pride and write it -- but I'm now kind of getting into NCIS. And I'm not even 50 yet!)

I looked at the sked and then at my DVR, and frankly the DVR offerings were sort of ... uh, dark. Breaking Bad, Southland, that documentary narrated by Sean Penn about the McMartin pre-school sex abuse trial ...

... I had watched almost all the fun stuff already.

So, you can imagine that a more light-hearted murder mystery romp floated to the top of my list.

Also, there's Nathan Fillion. What's not to love? And there's huge chemistry with Stana Katic.

(I have a friend that swears by this ... if you're thinking about what the male and female leads of a show would look like doing it, the show will work. That's a question you can answer in the comments section.)

It just wasn't a show I managed to get to each week, especially considering all the Sunday and Monday shows that rack up on the DVR. By the time I was getting a moment to watch the show it was already Wednesday and the DVDs from here and there start to pile up by the time and then Thursday night is full and if you're a sci fi fan the weekend provides no let-up and ...

(catching a breathe)

... and now that Leno is eating up all the NBC 10 pm time I'll have a lot more time come Fall to see it as it airs.

I think the Leno situation will be great for the show. It's the perfect 10 pm show for me with not too heavy a story and lots of attractive people being charming and solving outrageous murders.

Watch some video from the first season after the jump. And, you can see full eps at ABC.com.

More Nathan Fillion? All episodes of Firefly are at Hulu. Click this.

Tori And Dean Returns to Suck Up an Hour of Oxygen Tonight at 10

Get it, it's on the Oxygen network? See what I did there?

Okay, here's what I can tell you from being at the NBC Summer Press Day about the whole T&D thing ...

1) She's not really the size of a number 2 pencil.

2) He's better looking in person, though I have many many ideas for his hair that I don't think he's ever considered. And none of those ideas result in a modified mullet.

3) It's about their family and there are kids involved (their own kids, naturally) and I kind of shut down after that.

And, not only does Tori comes back to reality TV this month but it was also her birthday, as People Magazine reported recently (LINK):

On May 14, the actor surprised his wife with a new tattoo: A large Koi fish symbolizing Tori, a tiger representing Dean, and three baby Koi fish for Liam, 2, Stella, 11 months, and (McDermott's son from a previous marriage) Jack, 10. The tattoo also featured peonies, which stand for health and prosperity, and the word "forever."

"I did it to profess my undying love for my gorgeous wife and beautiful children," McDermott says of the creation, which took Tim Hendricks at Spotlight Tattoo in Hollywood seven hours to complete. "She loved it when I revealed it to her. She thinks it's beautiful, chic and sexy."

In other news, I'm modifying my body by swallowing copious amounts of pork-filled dumplings as a gift to all of you.

Season four trailer after the jump.

Twitter Gets a TV Show (and the sitcom starring you still can't get a script commitment)

Blame Amy Ephron. She could have been worrying about her sister Nora's neck ...

... but instead she's bringing more Twitter to television.

The Washington Post article linked above lists more culprits, go there and be suitably disgusted, will you? Please?

More Twitter. As if Don Lemon reading Twitter feeds on CNN is actually news.

(Not a personal diss, Don, you're just the most recent news guy I've seen do this. CNN though has a really unhealthy relationship with Twitter.)

Everyone who wants to see more people talking about Twitter on TV, raise your hands.

Now, everyone with a hand raised, punch yourself in that still-soft spot near the top of your head.

NY Times -- Jonas Bros. Fizzling?

Do you think it's because of that one Jonas brother (Kevin) who wears pants too tight for his big thighs?

Is it because Bristol Palin brought the entire purity ring crowd down with her when we all found out that got preggers in under mom's roof?

Is it because Jordin Sparks called everyone who doesn't wear a purity ring a slut last year at the MTV VMAs?

(They'd better home not, she's their tour's opening act this Summer. That's right, 2007 Idol winner Sparks can't draw that kind of crowd on her own. And that might have to do with the fact that Miss Priss alienated a sizeable chunk of her fan base with her remarks.)

Or, maybe they're just getting a little long in the tooth for the tween crowd?

Brooks Barnes in Sunday's Times reports from a Jonas PR event:

(N)obody had the temerity — or the opportunity, since the interview session was cut short — to ask the tough question: Are the Jonas Brothers fizzling as a full-blown Walt Disney Company franchise?

It’s a notion that Disney, the world’s largest media company, thinks is ludicrous. “Hot as a pistol” is how Abbey Konowitch, general manager of Hollywood Records, the Disney-owned label, describes them.

(snip)

Still, Disney is counting on the cherubic musicians — Kevin, 21, Joe, 19, and Nick, 16 — to be more than just pop stars. The company’s profit engines are creative franchises like “Hannah Montana” that spawn merchandising, movie and theme park spin-offs, and Disney has been putting considerable muscle into broadening the Jonases’ beyond music.

So far results have been mixed.

Their debut film, “The Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience,” was a dud, selling just $19.2 million in tickets at North American theaters in February. Disney had hoped that the movie would generate sales of about $40 million, according to a senior studio executive.

Their TV show, Jonas, not killing in the ratings area either (LA Times):

A solid 4 million viewers watched the 8 p.m. premiere of the network's new series, "Jonas," which topped kids and tween rankings Saturday, but didn't come close to delivering the audience watching new episodes of "Hannah Montana."

A Disney Channel news release boasted that the "Monkees"-style comedy starring the pop trio edged out the competition -- Nickelodeon's "Fairly OddParents: Wishology, Part 2," the second night of Nick's three-part original movie -- in the kids 6-11 and tweens 9-14 categories.

"Jonas" drew 1.6 million in both kids and tweens, giving the network its best numbers in the time period in the last eight months. Of its tween audience, 73% was female.

Music sales and concert tix? Purportedly still good.

What I think is that for tween girls, your friends are friends forever but boys come and go like the stickers on a 12-year-old's laptop case. Miley is their BFF, the Jonas boys, though, just might be the cute guy they obsess about ... until the next cute boy comes along.

It'll be interesting to see how this plays out.

UPDATED w/ 2 Clips: She's a (Semi-) Finalist! Susan Boyle Sings Cats Hit Memory, Advances to Finals

UPDATE: Semi-finalist! Not finalist? Conflicting reports from the UK papers? Oh, whatev. (Someone correct me, please.) How am I to know I'm more than 5000 miles away. What I DO know and many other outlets don't is that the song from Cats isn't called Memories, it's called Memory. Sheesh, it takes a Google search, people. I have the clip now from YouTube and its after the jump. Also after the jump is the song from Sunset Blvd. that she should sing next, done by Elaine Paige, who she adolizes. Also, at this link, Elaine Paige says she's open to a duet.

You can see it at this link. I'll replace this with an embedded clip when I can.

Clips after the jump.

Video -- New From Little Britain's Matt & David: Rock Profiles Returns With Amy Winehouse, Pete Doherty

Yes, I said "returns," because Matt Lucas and David Walliams did a show for UK television in 1999 that later moved to BBC2 with the same title and concept, with a different host. Here, Dermot O'Leary does hosting duties while the the duo play two of British music's most notorious, Amy and Pete.

There are two parts, click over the jump to see them.

My favorite line comes at the beginning of part 2 from Pete: "Blake's not here, luv, he's probably in prison."

Tomorrow I'll post Katie Price/Peter Andre. Because it's topical.

TV.com: "Did American Idol Get It Right?" That Depends on What "It" Is

Tim Surett at TV.com:

Questions will be asked all day by Idol fans about the validity of Fox's show and the mindset of the show's voters--the American people. Is the voting legit? Did America get it right? Do voters favor the "safe" contestant? And the million-dollar question: are Americans afraid to vote for a gay Idol? (To be clear, Lambert's sexuality has not yet been disclosed, but rumors have persisted all season.)

In the end, the real winner here is Simon Fuller's 19 Management, the artist management company that gets first pick of the American Idol contestants post-competition. There's no doubt that both Allen and Lambert will be groomed to have successful careers--Lambert is one of the most beloved runners-up and Allen has the title. But this result favors 19 Management better than a Lambert landslide. Lambert's popularity wasn't going to wane with a second-place finish, but Allen's could have. Now that Allen can be marketed as a "champion"--boom!--more album sales, and Lambert will do just fine as runner-up.

That's certainly a way to look at it, but it doesn't really answer the question about what "it" entails.

We hear all season (well you hear all season, I don't start watching till the final six) that it's "the search for the next pop star." And, if that's the case the people who voted Kris to the top actually did get "it" right.

Doesn't mean I like him more than Adam, it means he's better suited to pop stardom. Not because of who he sleeps with while he's not singing, TV.com and others, but because his sound is much more accessible than Adam's.

And while I like Adam for the risk taking and being unflappably himself through the Idol gauntlet complete with the press and the prodding into the personal life and the constant spotlight, the music he performed on the show is for a much more specific audience.

That he got as far as he did, to me, is pretty amazing. Also amazing? That you can understand the lyrics he's singing at the pitch he's singing them. That just blew me away, it's hard to enunciated at the top of one's range.

But if you played me an Adam Lambert album and then a Kris Allen album and offered me one I think I'd probably choose Kris' CD.

But what do I know, I'm about to time out of the 18- to 49-year-old demographic.

Photo credit: Ray Mickshaw/FOX

Gawker Reports on Clay Aiken Trashing Idol, Lambert (and strangely not his own failing career)

I'm not paying thirty bucks to visit Clay's official blog and web forum, certainly.

Someone who wrote to Gawker did, though, and they have all the scoop from that disgruntled reader.

Including ...

I only turn the show on once a season ... Idol is not always a matter of musical taste only. It's about the person you like. From what little I saw, Kris seemed likable. (That's not to say that Adam isn't just as likable as anyone.. maybe more so... I don't know) When Ruben and I were standing next to each other every night (many years ago) you had two equally talented, equally unlikely, equally unpolished contestants.... so it really was a matter of taste as to who was voted for. While some may argue that one of us was hyped more than the other, I don't feel that was the case. However, this year, there was an obvious bias. Not even having watched the show, I can tell you that I was WELL aware of the bias from the judges as to who should win.

Get that? Watched it once, and he can tell you that he was WELL (his caps) aware of the bias from the judges.

That's okay Clay, I saw you once on TV and realized that you were a closet case that was suited only to make elevator music for middle-aged women who had nothing else to do but defend your purported heterosexuality for years until some tabloid report forced you out of said closet and onto the Broadway stage in a role that was not suited to your talents.

And I say that after watching you much more than once.

Of course, this might have something to do with the Bill Zwecker/Chicago Sun-Times article from May 12 that this Gawker post also links to that reports:

Though it looks likely Adam Lambert will be the next ''American Idol'' winner, ex-''Idol'' runner-up Clay Aiken already is reaching out to Lambert -- looking to team up with the edgy singer for a possible duets album and concert tour.

That was just one reason for the backstage tension on the ''Idol'' set in Hollywood last week, when Aiken showed up unannounced but expecting the VIP treatment. ''I don't know why Clay felt that way,'' said a show staffer who has been on board since the reality talent show was launched. ''Everyone knows -- and certainly Clay knows -- he's persona non grata around here.''

The reason for the ''Idol'' folks' lack of affection for Aiken is related to his being the first show contestant to dump 19 Entertainment, the management company that handles all the recording deals, merchandising, tours, sponsorship, film deal and virtually all aspects of all things ''American Idol''-related.

''And not only did he drop 19 Entertainment, but everyone knows he also talked Kelly Clarkson into dropping us, too,'' said the staff member.

Ah, the ulterior motive rears its ugly head. Clay, that's no way to keep the middle-aged women who have already suffered enough from your lengthy coming out process out there buying your CDs and seeing you perform.

And about those CDs, whose gonna put them out now that your RCA deal has ended?

I think someone's watching his career go south and is trying to remain relevant. Good luck with that.

Video -- NY Times Mag This Sunday: All About Conan and Jay and Jeff

Lynn Hirschberg has a piece in Sunday's NYT Magazine on Conan's move to The Tonight Show that reveals the way that Jay ended up in prime time:

“Five years ago,” Leno continued, “I think they thought we wouldn’t still be on top. Back then, I said, ‘Whatever you want.’ I don’t have an agent. I don’t have a manager. If the girl doesn’t want to sleep with you, that’s O.K. I’m not one of those guys who says, ‘Why don’t you want to sleep with me?’ I say, ‘O.K., great — let’s be friends.’ You want to make a change? That’s great — we’ll make a change.”

Jay being Jay and repeating the Jay mantra: "No agent, no manager, just me." But certainly there are attorneys involved so isn't it disingenuous for him to continue to use this line? Also, did Zucker expect that when Leno left the show he would, I dunno, get a job at Jiffy Lube? Have an auditorium built for himself in Vegas? (Actually, that might have been a good idea, now that I think of it.)

Continuing ...

As he became increasingly disgruntled, Leno began entertaining offers from other networks. Although viewership on network TV is shrinking and advertising is migrating to cable and (to a lesser degree) to the Web, topical shows with comedy and celebrity guests are inexpensive to produce and maintain a consistent appeal. Leno is a name brand — he could easily move to ABC or Fox and become O’Brien’s competition, which is what NBC feared. “It became clear that Jay wanted to continue telling jokes on television at 11:30,” Zucker said. To entice him to stay at NBC, Zucker offered Leno a daytime show, a cable show, a series of specials. When Leno turned all those down, Zucker proposed a half-hour show, five nights a week at 8 p.m. The idea was that Leno would just do his monologue, riffing off the events of the day. “Eight p.m. doesn’t work,” Leno explained to me. “I never assume anyone is watching because I’m good-looking. You’re selling a product. In my particular instance, the product, hopefully, is jokes. With ‘The Tonight Show,’ you have the jokes plus Angelina Jolie, and that’s a little more enticement. A half-hour monologue every night doesn’t seem like enough enticement.”

Leno in daytime is a non-starter. Leno on cable? Doing what exactly, and where? Leno weeknights at 8 doing his monologue for a half hour? I don't think so, but not because of Leno's contention that he's no pretty enough for 8 pm. Those Biggest Loser people aren't too pretty at the beginning and they do pretty well at 8.

Finally ...

Zucker made his final plea: an hourlong show at 10 p.m., five nights a week. To Zucker’s surprise, Leno agreed. “I have believed, for a long time, that there should be a daily prime-time program with a topical format,” Zucker told me. “I’ve never said this publicly before, but I approached Oprah Winfrey about her doing a daily hourlong show in prime time. She turned me down, but I rekindled the idea with Jay. The advantage of a show like that is it’s easy to join, DVR-proof due to its topicality and different. Too much on television is the same show recycled. This will be a show that can provide an answer for the changing times we live in.”

Oh Jeff Zucker, no show is DVR-proof. I don't even know what that means! Even if I want to watch something as it airs I still start 20 minutes later (for an hour long show) so that I can FF through the ads. Recycled? We're talking about Jay Leno humor, aren't we? Doesn't it already come recycled? He even recycles his own jokes.

"A show for the changing times we live in?"

Except that from what I can tell it will be pretty much the same show that he's been doing for years only 95 minutes earlier.

And I'm still not going to watch it. Well, maybe just once. Just to see. And then I'm right back to scripted "anything else" at 10.

Conan's new show site is live at this link. He'll have Will Ferrell and Pearl Jam on his first show.

Leno's new show site is still in an abbreviated form at this link.

Conan shows you his new set in a clip after the jump.

3 Clips -- ABC V Reboot Looks Great (or, these are the best clips and the rest is crap)

I don't actually believe the rest is crap, but these two standalone scenes released by ABC are great and set everything up. I wasn't on the V bandwagon before I watched these at Hibberd, but now I am.

I wasn't aware until I clicked over to TV.com that Scott Peters from The 4400 was heading this reboot of the NBC miniseries from the eighties. That's a very good sign, though it seems to me it's kind of the same ol' story for Peters. He must like beings show up or return to Earth stories.

There are three clips here, two excerpts from the show and the trailer from ABC, and they're after the jump. They've put together a great cast (Lost's Elizabeth Mitchell, Alan Tudyk, Morris Chestnut, The 4400's Joel Gretsch (as a very attractive priest),  Scott Wolf, Laura Vandervoort from Smallville) and this certainly doesn't look from these clips to be as cheesy as the original was back in the day.

Not cheesy at all, because the effects are done by Zoic Studios, which has lent its considerable talents to so many great shows lately that they really have it working. Watch their TV reel at their website (LINK) and check it for yourself.

I have to say at this point that V is the show I'm most curious about from the broadcast nets. Let's hope it works for them, and us.

Clips after the jump.

Missed The Girlfriend Experience Last Night on HDNet Movies? Here's Two Solutions For You

Two solutions ...

a) You can still order it On Demand if you have that facility, or ...

b) Just watch series one and two of Showtime/ITV series Secret Diary of a Call Girl starring Billie Piper, which is far more watchable and makes far more sense. And is much more fun.

I caught this movie for free last night on HDNet Movies (each month they preview a new Magnolia Pictures release for my favorite price.

If you're looking for sex, this is certainly not the movie to see as there's not much of that and what there is really won't do much for you, even though Steven Soderbergh has cast adult star Sasha Grey in the lead as the high-priced prostie at the center of the story. Okay, maybe story is a bit too strong, there's not much of a story really.

Her boyfriend is played by a guy named Chris Santos, who looks awfully good in workout wear which is apparently why he was cast as a personal trainer who has spent the last year and a half as call girl Chelsea's live-in boyfriend. He doesn't make as much money as she and doesn't really understand her but I guess hangs in there because the apartment they share is really nice and from what he says I guess the sex is good (though you never see any of it).

Can't blame him for not understanding her, she's a bit of a ditz. All wrapped up in some pseudo-science that claims that you can tell a whole lot about people by how much personal information one reveals and how easily, she also has this flat affect and an almost constant facial expression that reads "I don't like the way this room smells."

Can't blame her for not working on this relationship with Chris, also the character's name, which always makes me think about how they called Tony Danza's Taxi character Tony because he wouldn't answer to anything else on set. For a guy who's dating a call girl he's an awfully whiny little girl about it.

Some other stuff happens, there's some conflict over a client that Chelsea thinks should become more than just a client and then ... it ends.

It kind of just ends. And I sat there thinking that I would love to have that time back from Steven Soderbergh.

So, if he'd like to come over to my home and, say, clean my kitchen cupboards for an 78 minutes, that would be fine. And, if he wants to bring his wife Jules Asner with him, I will be happy to make coffee and pick up some pastry for us to share while he does my housework.

I'll post the trailer after the jump, so that you can at least see what it looks like. I can't really recommend anyone paying money to see this movie, though. It'll be in theatres tomorrow.

I'm sure someone will come along and tell me I just didn't understand this movie. Sure, go ahead. It's true, I didn't understand this movie. I don't think you will, either.

Owen Gleiberman at EW gave it an A. Props to him. If he'd like to come by while Soderbergh is cleaning my kitchen, that would be fine, too. I'll get more cake and maybe he can explain to me why he liked it so much.

I prefer Billie Piper's just as realistic if not so dour take on the modern high-priced call girl. You can buy series one of that series by clicking the icon below.

Video -- Bloody Call Centers Piss Off Everyone, Even This Guy (and he's a Dalek)!

Considering that they have seemed chummy in the past (see photo above), this dust-up is very unexpected.

Clip created by Ashens.com. Hat tip to the blog StartLivingFrugal.com.

I would be remiss not to mention that the official Talk Like a Dalek Day 2010 page is now live at Facebook at this link.

Clip after the jump, it helps the homepage to load easier.

Free iTunes Download -- Watch the Glee Pilot Episode All Summer Long!

One quick note ... between the rough cut and the final they edited out Matthew Morrison's solo, which I mentioned in a previous post. Honestly, although it was a great song and performance it fell at an awkward place in the episode which is now tighter because of its omission.

But everything else is here in the free iTunes download of the pilot episode.

Here's the link to iTunes.

American Idol and "That Damned Song" -- Why ?

Every year there's a song. You and I sit in anticipation in front of our TVs every year and wonder what piece of drek the producers of the show are going to foist upon its two shining stars, effectively hampering their careers in what I can only presume is a scheme to collect a little more coin for the Idol war machine in publishing fees.

It's never a good song. It's just never, ever a decent song. Usually a cloying, faux-emotional ballad with room for melismatic flourishes and a hopeful lyric.

What I don't get is why this entertainment juggernaut that (sometimes) creates big pop music careers for unknowns would risk all that build-up of said unknowns on songs that not only aren't right for the performers but aren't good songs.

This year the song is called No Boundaries. Have you read the lyrics? Here's a taste, Rickey.org transcribed them:

When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you’ve almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand and show you that you can

You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you
B-reak every rule coz there’s nothing between you
and your dreams

Isn't it great that they found a junior high school girl to write them?

Kidding.

Sadly.

And the music? I've seen written this morning that it's written for someone with a higher voice than Kris Allen, which isn't really the case. When you listened to Kris sing it last night you would have noticed that it was too low and too high for him. The range of the song was just outside his skillset, though Adam with that freaky upper register had no problem.

But there's the rub for me. If you're looking for the next pop star, one only needs to look at all the other pop stars to realize that none of them have that kind of range. So, why require that to win the contest? I dunno.

The song wasn't really right for either of them. And it's the song that will be one of those guys' first single. Why would you hamstring a singer's career by having him come out of the gate with a crappy song.

With all the money the show makes they can't have a few songwriting teams working on stuff during the season with the top 12 in mind? I don't buy that.

Notice I didn't even mention that the song was written by the annoying new girl (as well as Cathy Dennis and Mitch Allan) which really isn't a good thing for her, considering that TVGuide.com recently noted:

Nearly 60 percent of TVGuide.com voters want American Idol to dump Kara DioGuardi from the judges' table.

Though the newcomer has brought some credible music industry insight to the panel, 59 percent of TVGuide.com voters would rather the show not renew DioGuardi's one-season contract, arguing that four judges are too many.

Among all the changes made to Idol this season, the one that has been the most hotly debated is DioGuardi's addition. Earlier this season, the judges' commentary forced Idol to run eight minutes long, interrupting Fringe and upsetting millions of DVR viewers. A week later, each contestant was only critiqued by two judges instead of the entire panel.

Six percent of voters believe a fourth judge isn't a bad idea, but they would prefer someone other than DioGuardi next season. DioGuardi has fans as well. Thirty-five percent of voters suggest that the new judge has added value to the show.

This doesn't help her. At all.

However, this morning just about anyone who's anyone connected to the show has stated that she stays, despite her presence alone requiring more talk time and less singing on this show that picks a singer, and despite the fact that the abomination of a pop song she wrote being an anchor placed around the neck of the winner of the show.

Before I end on this topic, a little visit from my conspiracy theory hat ... Did the producers bring on Kara to put pressure on Paula to clean herself up or clean herself out or whatever? And, if that Ladies Home Journal piece that Paula interviewed for and then later completely disassociated herself with is actually based in fact, did it work? And if it did work, does that mean the producers send Kara on her way eventually? Does that eventually mean next season now that Paula's shut her medicine cabinet, allegedly, per LHJ?

Too many questions.

Besides the whole Kara Kwandry (see, I can make up my own spellings of words, too!) I still don't get why this show, which does so many things so well in the marketing sphere can't see this "coronation song" problem for what it is.

There's just gotta be a better way. You got one? Use the comments and tell me about it.

Video -- All of a Sudden, Primeval is Everywhere (BBCA, SyFy and Possibly Even Your Movie Theatre)

It's everywhere. I watched five different episodes of the show this past weekend on two cable networks and most recently there's talk of a movie version.

I heard about the movie version last week and, frankly, my first thought was "Really?"

Yes, really. It turns out that after the first couple episodes of the series, Primeval turned into a much better show. I had a problem with the first two as nothing really happened in those eps and they were written by the creator of the show, Adrian Hodges, and I thought if he couldn't make the first two work what really were the chances of the rest of them being at the least entertaining and at most a challenger to Torchwood in terms of storytelling.

So, Adrian Hodges didn't write the fourth and fifth episodes and apparently stuff started to happen in those. And from a cursory glance at the Wikipedia page for the show stuff has continued to happen, even some really wacky stuff (Helen saves Claudia who becomes Jenny, etc.) because of the whole butterfly effect thing.

So I watched a bunch this weekend, did some homework online to catch myself up a bit, and ... I'm in.

After all, we keep hearing more and more that this Torchwood five-parter come July might be the end and I need something to watch in this vein.

(Did you know that there are over 2000 Google hits on a search for the phrase "the end of Torchwood"?)

If you want to catch up as well, I can tell you that the episode listings with descriptions at Wikipedia don't give too much away. There's also a page at Wikipedia worth reading called "Primeverse" that will put everything in order and in perspective. It's a good place to start.

And, iTunes has episodes (buy all the s1 and s2 eps at $.99 per in fact) and so does the BBC America on Demand channel if that's available to you.

It seems to me that the show didn't really start working for me until Helen Cutter, Nick's estranged wife, started going all cooky-poots. It's exactly what was needed to get some conflict going. Why this show didn't go there immediately is beyond me, as those first two episodes from series one were like watching paint dry.

So go, watch. Syfy (or SciFi, or whatev) Network schedulebot gives you series two episode dates and times at this link and BBC America is running series three currently.

And about the movie? You can read what John Stewart Lewinski says at Wired, which includes:

ITV’s surprise sci-fi hit Primeval returns to BBC America Saturday. To celebrate the return, Hollywood targeted the show for a little big screen evolution.

According to Daily Variety, Warner Bros. and Oscar-winner Akiva Goldsman picked up Primeval’s movie rights. For better or worse, the studio plans to transplant the time-warping, dinosaur-battling premise to the U.S.

Wow, another chance for Americans to screw up a British format. Wait a gosh darn minute, is Ben Silverman involved in this movie?

Nah, actually it looks as if the involvement of Goldsman (pictured) indicates that it just might be a solid project for Warners.

After the jump, watch a clip from series three.

Report -- TV Junkie Considers Rehab, Decides Otherwise

What I've found out is this. Although the name of the blog (and that won't change) is I Am A TV Junkie, I'm not really dependent on the stuff.

It turns out I can walk away. Surprised? No more than I was, I'm sure.

This little break I've just enjoyed for the past week or so (with little incursions to the blog to make sure you all didn't forget I was here) started for a simple reason.

I was tired.

Lots of non-TV stuff going on in my life as well as an uptick in my leaving the friendly confines of my own personal videoplex were the reasons, and I thought a couple days of what Bugs Bunny would call "west and wewaxation" from sitting here at the desk pounding on these keys would be ... nice.

Then I watched the Dollhouse finale over that weekend and noticed it was sliced and diced to the point that there was no plausible ending and, honestly, it pissed me off. First the Felicia Day episode goes DVD only and then a substandard finale? I was sure it was doomed for cancelation. And on top of that I would have to buy the DVD to see her episode.

(More on that later, obviously.)

Then Tuesday night, that final shot in the season finale of Fringe ... man did that piss me off.

It also pissed me off at the beginning of the season when Life on Mars went all 9/11 WTC on its audience, too. I'm just not ready for people who make entertainment for the tube to use the 9/11 attacks to further the storyline of their shows.

Even you, J.J. Abrams.

So, I needed a break. And a little perspective. And I really needed a break from all those Hollywood Reporter stories about what shows may or may not be renewed or what pilots may or may not be picked up. It turns out that those who are commenting to the THR reporters on what's going on at each network kinda don't know their asses from their elbows sometimes. Which is why, for example, Alyssa Milano will probably be really available for guest appearances on shows this fall.

Finally the nets have pretty much announced their schedules (Dollhouse getting another 13 eps is really a surprise, especially considering the ratings for the season finale) and at least that issue has left the station.

Best news, for me, is that Better Off Ted gets a renewal. I like to think that I had a little something to do with that.

Not so great? No Heroics doesn't seem to be getting the interest I thought it should. I never saw the pilot (though I do hope to eventually as I have an "in" with those people) but I know how much I loved the first series of the British version and I thought it would make a great schedule mate for BOT. And yes, one of the producers is a friend of mine.

(Of course, the very unlikely renewal of Scrubs works well in that regard, too. I love the show but I really thought their season ender wrapped everything up nicely and I was satisfied.)

One of the things about writing something that's basically for yourself (and those who read it) is that there are no deadlines, no set number of posts to produce each day and no boss telling you what to write about.

One thing I am planning on doing in the next few weeks is getting back to just writing what I want and not trying to compete with the corporate TV blogs and their many writers. If you cruise backward through this site you'll see that I say that all the time but hardly ever take it to heart. This time I hope it's different.

We'll see.

Video -- From the Set, Ryan Reynolds Versus Betty White (?!?), Act 1

LINK

Watch the trailer for their new movie, The Proposal, after the jump. It opens June 12.

I'll Be Back Monday All Refreshed and Ready for Summer

Which does not mean swimsuit photos.

I can't, my implant scars are still very noticeable.

I guess I just needed a little break.

Homer has really enjoyed the last few days, we've gone on long walks and taken midday naps together. But soon he'll be back to laying nearby and giving me a low growl while I write.

Dollhouse renewed? Really? Wonder which of Joss' testicles he had to give away? I didn't even know Lachlan Murdoch was sportin' a single.

More Monday.

Have You Ever Just Not Felt Like It?

Ennui. That's it.

I just don't feel like it.

Maybe later, maybe tomorrow.

I feel the way I imagine men in popular fiction feel right before they buy some big middle-aged toy like a Maserati or ... a second or third wife.

Accepting encouraging yet stern "Hey, Get Back to Work" messages at Joe (at) IAmATVJunkie (dot) com.

I have 93 unread messages in my inbox. I'll go look at those.

I can't even come up with a "talk amongst yourselves" topic.

First Person to Explain the Last Six Minutes of Dollhouse to Me Wins!

Wins what? Wins my respect.

This clip starts right at 44:20 and shows Echo bobble the cartridge and then shows Ballard catch it, then there was a commercial and after the break we're in the Dollhouse and there no further mention of Alpha.

So, I'm to infer that Boyd and Ballard and Echo just walked away from the abandoned power plant and left Alpha there? Really?

Did I miss something?

Here, watch it for yourself and please point out what I'm missing.

This Kiefer Sutherland Business Has Got to Stop

So, lemme get this straight. Brooke Shields, Kiefer Sutherland and a fashion designer named Jack McCollough are at a party after the Met's Costume Gala.

McCollough, an out gay man who Brooke describes as a friend bumps into Brooke.

Kiefer apparently thinks McCullough has dissed Brooke in some way and headbutts the guy, breaking his nose.

What is wrong with this picture? So many things.

If I was in business with Kiefer Sutherland I'd be looking for a way out of that business right now.

I just have no time for this kind of behavior, no matter what amount of money I'm making in said business with Kiefer Sutherland.

Life is too short to deal with crap like this.

And, just maybe, Kiefer needs to be looking at separating himself from Jack Bauer, if being Jack Bauer has become such a problem that he brings it home with him.

I'm done. How 'bout you?

Star Trek Opens Huge! More Carrie/NGTV Clippage, TV.com Premiere Photo Gallery

No Good Television has more Star Trek cast interviews including Bruce Greenwood, Zoe Saldana, John Cho, Karl Urban, more J.J., and of course more Carrie Keegan. It's after the jump.

But first ...

Los Angeles Times writer Geoff Boucher has an interview with Nimoy this morning at this link.

The rare bad review for this movie from the Niagara Falls Reporter.

Pine, Quinto and Nimoy on SNL (video).

io9.com on the Star Trek backlash.

TV.com premiere photo gallery (note all the people who probably don't care about Star Trek getting their pictures taken for career advancement -- I'm talking to you Leighton Meester) at this link.

Rumor Has It -- Pilot Season "Newslike" Items and Analysis

Very weird. And strange. And possibly true. But maybe not. Let's review the info in this article from Variety this morning:

A) Better Off Ted coming back? Could happen. Of course you can all thank me when it does. "Also among Alphabet's bubble shows, 'Better Off Ted,' which has developed a following among TV critics, is looking good to return," they say. That would be grand, certainly.

B) Scrubs coming back again? Really? That same article says, "(I)nsiders continue to suggest that 'Scrubs,' which wrapped its season last week with an episode that could have easily doubled as a series finale, will be back after all. You see, I would have been fine with a returning Scrubs that included everyone but Braff and Chalke, but it seems to me that a lot of the Scrubs cast is attached to other projects. Neil Flynn's playing that horrible shrill Patty Heaton's husband in an ABC pilot which, if it goes, takes him out of Sacred Heart. Faison was linked to an ABC comedy about reserve LAPD officers, also mentioned in this article. McGinley has shot a pilot for CBS with Skeet Ulrich and Sherry Stringfield, but no word yet. And at least one of the new interns, Eliza Coupe, has shot a lead role in a pilot (No Heroics for ABC, which this blog really hopes makes the cut). So, exactly who would be in a new season of Scrubs, and if it's more than, say, 45% of the cast is it really Scrubs? And if Bill Lawrence is shepherding a new season of Scrubs with relative "newbies" in tow, what happens to Cougartown, the Courteney Cox vehicle? Plus, I think the Scrubs finale really did a nice job at wrapping things up, and if everyone has a job coming out of it who really benefits from an additional season of a show that's not really Scrubs but takes place in the same hospital?

C) The Alyssa Milano pilot Romantically Challenged (formerly Singles With Baggage, which I think is a better title) is from Family Guy's Ricky Blitt. (We've written here previously about Blitt being one of those rare LA residents who doesn't drive and my offer to drive him places, at this link.) I think it would be a nice pairing with Samantha Who? if that show could just stick around and get a decent lead-in. Alyssa's tweeting about this this morning. Jim Burrows directed the pilot which means it's at the top of what he was offered this pilot season. I'd love to see a full two hours of comedy on a Wednesday from them with this lineup: Ted, No Heroics, Sam Who?, Romantically Challenged. We'll see.

D) Absolutely nothing, NOTHING, about any show on NBC is this Variety article, as if the network did not even exist. Which, after they play this Leno card come the Fall just might be the case. That means nothing on the Katee Sackhoff-Brian Cox series for them from Dick Wolf called Lost And Found. But you can click over to the fan site for that show (this link) and find out how to support that show which is not even yet on anyone's schedule. Kinda like the Save Dollhouse site (link) from last year, which btw I don't think is coming back, sadly. Not certain but it doesn't look good, either.

E) Finally, I have to ask ... do Brad Garrett and Joely Fisher own very very lewd and lasivious photos of Fox Broadcasting executives having sex with farm animals? Because I just can't figure out how that damned show of theirs keeps getting renewed. I think if Til Death gets another season we should do a RICO investigation and see what exactly what kind of racketeering is going on there.

BTW, nothing on Chuck. And probably no word until the NBC "in-front" (because upfronts are so early decade, I guess) event in NYC with Jay and Conan and Jimmy making nice with each other (and Carson Daly handing out towels in the men's room).

Video -- Sure I've Seen NCIS, I Have Parents, Don't I? Don't You?

Good show. Well cast. Does good business for Moonves and the shareholders at CBS, certainly.

But, it's not a show that I feel the need to see if I'm not watching TV with my parents, who enjoy the show to the extent that they'll sit through the repeats on USA Network, though I do notice that sometimes they don't remember the episode so well and "it's like it's brand new" as my mom might say.

For the record and for those who are fans of the show I prefer Kate over Ziva, but I know that Ziva as a character is better for the show than Kate. It was a nice move for them when Sasha Alexander decided to move on.

(Alexander shot a pilot for CBS called Karensky's recently -- no word either way as far as I can tell -- and is upcoming in the Jennifer Aniston theatrical September release Brand New Day.)

I just don't trust Ziva. Something about her just screams I have my own agenda. Never as apparent as in these two episodes that just aired and serve as a backdoor pilot for NCIS: Legend, the spinoff featuring LL Cool J and Chris O'Donnell, which I am pretty sure will make the lineup.

They'd be foolish not to include it in their schedule, it's pre-sold after all.

(Of course, of the women on NCIS I'm of course most enamored with Abby, natch. Brilliant/Alternative is one of my favorite pairings. Her accesories? I wore all that stuff at one time. They must shop for her at Mr. S. Leather.)

Pre-sold and will garner some nice numbers for CBS, sure, but even if the average viewer is older than what they might like at CBS they gotta love that.

I presume that the spinoff's casting is keyed to do something positive to that demo skew, but when you look at the new cast and realize that O'Donnell's almost 40 and LL, despite the body and the great skin (it don't crack, my friends tell me) and the rap career is 41 years old.

You wonder why it's these two and not, say, 27-year-old Chris Evans instead of Chris O'Donnell and, maybe, Flo Rida instead of LL?

(Chris Evans. Mmmmm. Sorry, O'Donnell, but you're no Chris Evans.)

You can watch both of the episodes discussed (the first at the CBS website and then second at TV.com) and read more about the show on their site at this link, and then click over the jump for the preview of the season finale.

Don't Forget Mom!

I'm not blogging, I'm shopping.

Back later.

Ideas from MomLogic.com, at this link.

Idol Runs Over: Get Your Fringe DVR Runoff (and some more) Right Here!

I couldn't resist but start at 42:17 (thank you, Hulu), so that I could highlight two outstanding John Noble scenes.

That's John Noble, who should be nominated for an Emmy, that John Noble.

Who exactly is Walter Bishop, anyway? What deal did he make with "him," what did he get in the deal and why is he being summoned?

And scenes with Nina, including the final scene which was cut off by my DVR and probably yours, too.

Great pre-cliffhanger cliffhanger, huh?

NGTV Star Trek Video -- Carrie Keegan, J.J. Abrams, Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto: Opens Friday!

Overheard:

Carrie: This movie is the tits!

J.J.: The truth is that the goal was to make a movie that was defined in that way.

And ... a shoutout to Big K! Kourosh, you never get a shoutout from Carrie, and you're the Big K!

Also in this first clip (more on the way), you get Karl Urban, John Cho, Zoe Saldana, Clifton Collins Jr., Anton Yelchin, and probably someone I left out.

And yes, there's one spoiler, but did you expect that Kirk wouldn't be shtupping some green chick out there in space? C'mon, Kirk is as Kirk does.

And Kirk is going green, baby.

Clip (first of at least two) after the jump.

TV.com Season Finale Poll -- Will You Watch or Pass?

Vote by clicking here and going there.

Stuff I'll watch:

The Big Bang Theory

How I Met Your Mother

Rules of Engagement (Don't judge me! I like David Spade and his assistant, Adhir Kalyan, from last season's CW comedy Aliens in America)

Fringe (Gotta meet William Bell)

Scrubs (On the DVR, I'll catch it soon)

American Idol (Go Adam!)

Parks & Recreation (though I'm fighting the urge to dump it, sorry Amy)

The Office (Amy Ryan returns)

30 Rock

Southland

Dollhouse (and it's currently getting an 80% positive rating at the site)

The Simpsons

Family Guy

American Dad

Go vote at this TV.com link.

UPDATED: Idol, Quickly

UPDATE: Well how 'bout that? Allison? I never thought Allison would get voted off by her contemporaries. Makes you wonder about what the tally was, huh? Well, forget it, they'll never really tell you what the actual tally was. They don't have to, it's a TV show.

For me? Adam, Kris, Danny, Allison.

For the judges? Adam, Danny, Kris, Allison.

My bottom two prediction? Danny, Kris. Danny leaves.

Why? It's not who's the best, it's who the people who vote like the most. They looooove Allison. And Kris is very conventionally attractive and that counts. Plus I thought his cover of Come Together was hot, and he's adorable. The kids are right.

It's not really a singing contest or even so much a music contest. It's a popularity contest. Then again, during season one I was pretty sure that the fans would take Justin over Kelly, and I was wrong then, thankfully.

I'll say this, it took me at least a minute to remember Robert Plant's name after Adam finished Whole Lotta Love.

I just couldn't remember the name Robert Plant. Then again, I can look at a spoon for hours and ...

We'll see, though once again, let's say it all together this time .... "The Results Show Is For S-U-C-K-E-R-S!!!"

Just Checking In and Passing on Some Great Links

Thought I would check in quickly while I had a moment.

I'm assisting in some familial matters lately and it's gotten in the way of me getting to this space, and as I either promised or previewed some things that I haven't gotten a chance to post I thought I would say thanks for holding on.

I'm trying to keep your regulars fed with at least the timely stuff.

And, I have to admit to taking the opportunity last night to run up to the WGA Theatre to see my friend Jeff Greenstein interview Ron Moore, which was great but frankly if I hadn't bought a ticket ahead of time I probably would have bailed.

But eventually you'll be able to buy a DVD of the evening and I'll be back with a link for that when it's up at their site. Because the sales benefit the WGA Foundation and its work I highly recommend its purchase.

And I'll tell you all about that when I can get back to it. With pilot season closing down, upfronts coming, early renewals, etc ... and, frankly, me getting invited to some really cool stuff thanks to this blog ... I've got lots to share.

In the meantime, some links I'm passing along that I'll cover in more detail in the days ahead:

Heroes Nowhere Man Webisode 3  starring David Lawrence

Funny or Die UK has a lot of your britcom favorites (Peter Serafinowicz, Lucas and Walliams) and some new ones you'll like (Bishop and Douch, start with A Brief History of Bishop and Douch and then to Bishop's Gay, which brings some needed ambiguity, certainly, to that argument)

Zach Galfianakis gets awkward with Natalie Portman at Funny of Die US.

Stewie Griffin guests on an all-new episode of Bones. 'Cause he's that good. First episode of the show I will have ever watched, tomorrow at 8 on Fox.

Finally ...

Alan Tudyk commenting on those who suggest out of all the players in the Joss stable, Alpha had to be him (Fox conference call transcript):

I’m sure there’s plenty of Joss people that it could have been.  I would have liked to have seen—I don’t know the actor’s name, the one who plays Moist in the Dr. Horrible series.  I think he would have been a surprise because you really would have bought the Steven Kepler part of it maybe even a little more totally than me.  You wouldn’t have seen that turn come as easily. 

Well Alan, except that Simon Helberg is on this own show, which has become much more of an ensemble comedy this year and Wolowitz is a go-to character.

Tudyk is upcoming in ABC's V pilot, btw, but gave away nothing. Sworn to secrecy, he said.

Watch the Dollhouse finale Friday please.

And there's that CBS thing about not wanting their sitcom stars to guest on other networks, like Kaley.

I'll be back ASAP.

I miss you.

Naughty Minx Mindy Kaling Gets Deal With NBC-Uni, Starring Vehicle in Her Future?

She must have dressed like this for her meeting with the NBC brass. What! I'm just bein' funny.

Variety:

Under terms of the two-year, seven-figure deal, Kaling will continue to write for and appear on "The Office" next season while simultaneously developing a comedy in which she would also star.

"This is my first step in a Transformers-style way to take over the whole world," Kaling quipped. "I've only ever worked for NBC, and I've felt an enormous amount of support from the executives there."

A world controlled and dominated by Mindy Kaling? How exactly would that look, anyway?

First, shoes would be objects d'art; beautiful, shiny and subject to auction at Christie's.

Second, Rainn Wilson would be a sassy black guy who worked crossword puzzles.

To continue ... Matt & Ben would have vaginas. Sliced beets might see an uptick in popularity.

Badly Drawn Girl would be a nationally syndicated comic strip.

Finally, everyone would get a deal on buying Mike Schur's house, but I'm not saying what kind of deal.

Watch Mindy's online show for Strike TV, House Poor, in a clip after the jump.

A Dom DeLuise Movie Changed Our Family Dinner Conversation Forever

And it's the first scene in this clip.

LINK

Thanks, Dom. All of us know how to run our plates. We'll miss you.

The movie's called Fatso. I'm sure it will run on some channel sometime soon, watch it.

NGTV Video -- More Carrie Keegan, More X-Men ... Wolverine and Liev Schrieber Talkin' Smack

All kinds of smack, in fact.

And you might enjoy the moment where Ryan Reynolds thinks Carrie's giving him a stroke (hehehe, burnt toast) and Taylor Kitsch talks about "overcompensating" with a bigger sword than Jackman.

Here's a way to sell movies the casts like this in a more efficient way ... instead of trailers for all the stars, just one big locker room, like in high school gym, with those showers and towel snapping and little tiny pinhole cameras embedded all through the tile walls and in the drainholes in the shower floor and ...

What?

Oh, sorry, I was going off again.

Still a great idea, though.

This episode of Up Close With Carrie Keegan is brought to you by the letters F and S, and the number two. 'Cause she's a naughty girl.

It's after the jump.

And starting Wednesday night, I'll have the first of many many of Carrie's Star Trek interviews that will not disappoint. Does she ever?