Jeremy Piven Goes To The Third World for Mercury-Poisoning Treatment, Leaves New Alleged GF Home to Tan

Really? Thailand? Not the Mayo Clinic, not Johns Hopkins, not even Cedars Sinai.

NY Daily News (writing about his alleged new model girlfriend Ashley Chontos, a SUNY Binghamton dropout, choice pick, Jer):

As Piven is currently in Bangkok, undergoing treatments for his condition - and Chontos is in Miami, soaking up some sun - the two are engaging in a long-distance relationship via text messages. "Jeremy's doctor recommended he go to Bangkok," the insider says. "And Ashley decided to get a tan so she looks great for her 'red carpet debut.' She wants to get real dolled up, and has been discussing her outfit and jewelry practically every chance she gets."

At CollegeMansion.com, which looks suspiciously like an escort site, Ashley (above right) says that she's a Columbia University 2009 grad.

Ha! You don't drop out of SUNY Bing and then get into Columbia, honey, you should really work on your lying.

And, your hair is overprocessed, too. But the bod is rockin'!

And aren't we all excited about seeing her walk the Golden Globes red carpet with the Piv? Well, before you etch that into your datebook, Piven always manages to bring his mom to these things. Why would he break that tradition? Do you think that JP will even remember this young lady when he gets back from Thailand?

Lots of sex to be had in Thailand. I wouldn't be surprised if Piven's doc told him that sex with underage Thai prostitutes was the cure for mercury poisoning.