I Am A TV Junkie

Reported: J.Lo Next American Idol Judge

Deadline Hollywood is reporting that it'll be Jennifer Lopez, former Sony recording artist (dropped recently) and star of recently unpopular movies like The Back-Up Plan will be the new American Idol judge.

Don't worry, she's still a fashion mogul and certainly not hurting for cash. She's just not flavor of the month anymore.

(And yes, in her spare time she also tours in a live-action Wayland Flowers tribute show as Madame.)

The web conventional wisdom for the last couple hours has been that the Ellen announcement cleared the way for a new judge to be named during the upcoming Fox Television Critics Assn. presentation.

Read the breaking news from Nikki Finke and Nellie Andreeva at Deadline Hollywood at this link.

Breaking News: Ellen Leaving Idol Effective Immediately

And the changes continue.

I would link to the Variety article that broke this story but alas the paywall prevents me from doing so.

All right, I'll link to it, but if you've looked at one other Variety story today and you don't subscribe you're SOL. 

Nothing at the Fox press site yet nor at 19 Entertainment.

ABC News has an AP story posted at this link but it's all of one sentence.

The Variety story basically says that Ellen was the one to pull the trigger, claiming it happen "months ago," and that she didn't like critiquing singers and "hurting their feelings."

Whatev, I didn't think it was a good fit from the get go.

Previously ... Elton as judge? How about he explain the Limbaugh wedding thing first.

More as it becomes available. And much more on this right now from AINow.org at this link.

UPDATE: The complete text of Fox's press release after the jump.

Monday's Carrie Keagan Day at Attack of the Show on G4

Carrie (above), demonstrating the way a LADY gets out of a car (I'm talkin' to you, Britney) joins (presumably) Kevin Pereira on AOTS Monday at 7 eastern on G4.

(That lovely image above by Dimitry Loiseau.)

For those of you living under a rock the past few years, Carrie's the star of the wildly popular Up Close with Carrie Keagan at No Good Television, she a member of the Broadcast Film Critics Assn., a frequent guest on a show I just can't watch (Fox Noise's Red Eye program), the host of VH1 Classics One Hit Wonders and ... she's my pal.

So you'll watch? Okay, because you got nothing for her for her birthday (July 4)  and you kinda owe it to her. And while you're waiting until Monday for her G4 gig you can spend some time with her at CarrieKeagan.com at this link.

And since the movie Kick-Ass releases on DVD this Tuesday, why not watch Carrie and the outrageous Shark Firestone talk to the cast in a clip by clicking here.

Do it! You'll thank me later.

BBC's Ideal From the Beginning, Again, on IFC Starting Tonight (As in Really Late Night)

Once again I'm shilling here for a show I adore.

Of course, these episodes of Ideal, the BBC comedy about a downmarket weed/hash dealer and his life and work are airing at 2 am (or thereabouts) eastern so you gotta set your DVR or start that coffeemaker.

For those of you who have the HD IFC feed in the Western US you can watch it at 11, which is ... easier.

All of my posts on the show are at this link.

A clip from tonight's first episode at this link. Non-spoilery.

Want more about the show? Click around the web, but note that in the States we're only as far as series four and in Britain they're about to start running the sixth series on BBC Three, so beware the spoilers.

It's just the best show, you gotta check it out.

And for those of you who are already fans, I'm still looking into where to buy a Cartoon Head mask (image left). And I'm still looking for scrummy creator Graham Duff (top of post, center) on various social media sites, would love to do a five questions email thing with him about the show.

Video -- Dinner For Schmucks Star Carell to Dinner For Schmucks Star Galifianakis: "You're Fat"

Carell, apparently ego-boosted through the roof after a recent Craig Ferguson appearance where Craig shamelessly flirted with him and complimented on his solid manly chest (clip) goes apeshit on poor Zach, bringing him to tears.

Poor Zach.

Carell, once again proving he's the biggest shithead in Hollywood.

Mel who?

Yeah, there's a movie involved, click for the Dinner for Schmucks trailer. I really wish they would have shot for an R instead of a PG-13, but whatev. It's the difference between my seeing it in the theatre vs. waiting for cable, though.

It's not just a content issue, either. If I can get to a R-rated matinee I will, if only to avoid your screaming, cell phoning, texting kids with their talking, seat kicking and general obnoxiousness.

Video via Funny or Die. 

You're not really taking me seriously, right? Okay.

I just love the key art for the poster. It's perfect.

Clip Bonanza -- Happy Birthday Wil Wheaton (@WilW)!!!

Let's all celebrate by watching his recent Eureka episode (this link).

Or, how about a little slice of him on The Big Bang Theory (this link).

Or, maybe a little TNG (this link).

Click what you like and then head over to the tweetiverse (@wilw) and send your regards.

And, you can always click over to Crackle.com and watch all of Stand By Me if you've got an hour and a half. No embed codes so you click over to their site, but it's free and it's now. Click this.

Video -- Christina Hendricks from Mad Men on KTLA Morning Show

Who's got your "Joan Holloway Harris in the Morning" video? You betcha, I do.

Just click this. Love her.

I don't need to say more, so I won't.

Almost Full Episode Video -- Laura Linney in Showtime's The Big C Right Here Right Now

Showtime brings you another showcase for another one of the great actresses of our time. Three Oscar noms and a SAG award, a Golden Globe (both for HBO's John Adams miniseries) and a slew of outstanding stage performances that have garnered her Tony noms and all kinds of other awards.

And ... she's Mary Ann Singleton after all. Watch her in a scene from Further Tales of the City with Barbara Garrick (Dee Dee) and Lea DeLaria as a pilot whose willing to fly into rough skies (LINK).

Man, I love those Tales of the City books, and the movies ... you should buy the movies on DVD (click here).

But I digress ... Showtime has posted a slightly edited version of The Big C pilot on YouTube, and WITH embed codes, so I just wouldn't be a responsible TV blogger unless I brought it to you.

The series stars Linney, Gabourey Sidibe (Precious), Oliver Platt (last on Showtime in the series Huff), Cynthia Nixon, Idris Elba (The Wire and the upcoming BBC America Luther) and John Benjamin Hickey. Liam Neeson will guest during the first season and possibly (?) recur in other eps.

This premiere episode is written by creator Darlene Hunt and directed by Bill Condon, the Academy Award winning director of Gods and Monsters and many other features including Chicago and the Linney/Neeson starring Kinsey.

It's right here, click me! I haven't even watched yet but I know Laura Linney would not waste your time so I'm confident in posting.

Who brings you the best stuff? Who gives you something for nothing? I do, so click an ad on this page if you appreciate that and eat up this premiere episode from pay cable, for free.

FREE! Your favorite price.

Of course, Showtime would love it if you enjoyed this show so much that you called your cable co. and ordered the channel, and you can get a bit of a deal on Showtime by clicking this link.

The series premieres August 16 at 10:30, right after the season premiere of Weeds.

Do it. Their original series are worth it.

3 Days Left -- Visit Aziz Ansari at Parks & Rec, eBay Auction Benefits TV Academy

Dontcha wanna spend some time with this guy?

C'mon, you don't only get Aziz Ansari with this auction, you get both Tom Haverford and Randy (clip NSFW or kids), too. So it's a kind of three for one thing, and all proceeds benefit the programs run by the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences all over the country including your local area.

From the EmmysFoundation.org site:

A non-profit organization, the Foundation is committed to celebrating the past and shaping the future of television by serving students, faculty researchers and the general public through our various programs. These programs address a variety of issues, such as career guidance, student achievement, personal student development, diversity and the documentation of the evolution of television and digital media.

EBay page for the auction at this link.

Current bid is only $960 US. C'mon people with money, hedge fund managers, vultures of all varieties, get bidding on this. The auction ends on August 1 at about 8:15 eastern.

Of course I'm still banning myself from eBay, because if I didn't I would have stacks of TV themed vintage lunchboxes and New York Mets souvenirs from the late 60s and 70s and NO MONEY.

Blogger Gets Three Word Tweet From Censorship Group, Holds Them to It

The blogger is me. The tweet is above. It's from the Parents Television Council and it's about CBS' move yesterday to add gay and lesbian characters to some prime time shows in order to boost its rating with the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD.org).

Not that I love the idea of a corporation telling a writer to just plug in some gays. It's a little condescending for one. Additionally the best characters are those that come out of the organic creation process so I'm not hopeful that these characters will have legs on these shows.

For the record, so far I've only heard that The Good Wife will add a gay brother for lead Alicia Florick, played by Julianna Margulies and that there will be a gay character added to Bleep My Dad Says (I'm not about to try to figure out which punctuation to use instead of Bleep so you're getting Bleep) and the aforementioned lesbian added to Rules of Engagement (who as I said should be played by Tammy Lynn Michaels).

Still it's progress, I guess. And yesterday I said as much while speculating that the PTC would offer some blowback on this, but according to the tweet above from the group they say they won't.

I'm holding them to it, of course.

And now that they and their Director of Public Policy Dan Isett are following me on Twitter (and visa versa) I'll be keeping my eye on them.

And it's interesting to be on their radar. Finally. Should do wonders for me webstats.

McPherson's ABC Exit -- Precipitated by Sexual Harassment Charges?

First, sorry Matthew Fox and Evangeline Lilly ... I really wanted an image of Steve McPherson in better times and you happen to be there with him. Readers, don't assume any guilt by association.

So, when the McPherson news came a day and a half ago I thought, "Wow, this is quick." I said to the only person I know currently working for the network, "Sounds dicey," meaning something like allegations of sexual harassment or creating a hostile workplace.

(His response, btw, was something like, "If by dicey you mean makes me happy, then yes, it's dicey.")

Seems I might be right. Both the Hollywood Reporter and Reporter's Hibberd Live Feed blog broke news on a sexual harassment probe (could be standard issue harrassment or creating a hostile workplace).

More from Dawn C. Chmielewski and Meg James at the LA Times Company Town blog at this link.

Of course allegations like this are made all the time in the entertainment industry. Was their smoke that indicated fire? I certainly don't know enough about the ABC/Disney culture to say.

What I do know which is common knowledge is that McPherson's behavior on the job did not make him many fans in the organization. I'll never understand why people in positions of power find themselves working in a job where apparently they feel the need to scream their blood effing heads off all day.

If I worked so hard in an industry that I reached the top of it and I realized I felt compelled to yell and scream all day in that job I would take the stairs to the roof of the building and jump off. What kind of life is that to live?

Your Guide to Glenn Beck's Goldline Problem, Handy Infographic (that even you home-schooled types can understand)

I thought there might be a problem with having a TV show where you scream and cry about the end of civilization and then tell people to protect themselves by buying gold from "your trusted source" that may or may not be sending you down the road to financial ruin.

I dunno, just a hunch.

Then again, most fans of Beck don't even know what's happening to them. They see an earnest guy looking out for them. Then again, not as many people as a few months ago are seeing him at all, ratings are dropping on his Fox Noise show precipitously.

If you've heard about this Goldline controversy but you didn't really know what it was all about and you want to, click over the jump for a great graphic that explains it all from Ritholtz.com's The Big Picture, and it's also posted with additional information at this link.

Clip Bonanza -- ABC's Castle at the Con: Pranks, Chirstopher Walken and a Dramatic Reading of Heat Wave

Also, I have a trailer (yes, I do) for the Heat Wave motion picture AND a message to you from a very charming man, but that's after the jumperoo.

But first ... there's been some talk about shows that had panels at Comic-Con that maybe just didn't fit the category. Castle I guess is one of them, but ... wait for it ... I don't care because I love the show.

I know, I'm a self-serving sonovabitch. I'm working on that. Note I'm not saying I'm working on improving that.

Here's me self-serving take -- Comic-Con is about scifi and fantasy and there are a whole lot of people out there fantasizing about Nathan Fillion so he, they, get a pass.

Thanks to various YouTube users at the Con for the clips:

Nathan and the lovely Stana Katic read from the Richard Castle novel Heat Wave  (LINK)

The Heat Wave book trailer, if you haven't seen it? Right here (LINK)

Nathan's imitation of Christopher Walken playing his dad on the show (LINK) & for reference Fillion doing his Walken impression on the show (LINK)

The ubiquitous pranks on the set clip (LINK)

More after the jump.

More on CBS' Gay Problem ... And the Coming Backlash from PTC

A couple more things gleaned from the web this AM from the CBS TCA presentation and Nina Tassler's remarks in response to the network's poor showing in the recent GLAAD survey of prime time.

(File photo, btw.)

Live Feed at THR.com:

Addressing reporters at the semi-annual Television Critics Association press tour, Tassler said a gay character will be added to new comedy "$#*! My Dad Says," returning comedy "Rules of Engagement" and legal drama "The Good Wife."

"We're disappointed in our track record so far," Tassler said. "We're going to do it. We're not happy with ourselves."

Well, what I'm not happy with is injecting gay characters into a show just to have more gay characters. It's not organic to the show's creation and the characters end up being less than three dimensional.

How about seeking out writers who have interesting ideas for shows that include gay characters ahead of time? That seems like a better idea in every direction.

Of course there's always this grand scheme ... hire some out gay writers that will write gay characters. 

Another thing, the downside of making this grand gesture (which is also just a little condescending, Nina) is that the network raises the hackles of the Parents Television Council (which as I said, am saying and will always say is not a parents' group but a religious group in disguise) who are gonna start screaming Gay Agenda all over the place.

An organic process would bypass all that hate from them.

For the record, I hardly ever complain about religious people being depicted on TV. I kinda liked 7th Heaven (though I'll admit that I spent a lot of time just swooning over Stephen Collins, who, btw, is really funny in his appearances on It's Always Sunny ... on FX if you get the chance to catch him there.

Daily Show Video -- Congrats to the "Happy Couple"

This killed for me, mostly because I immediately went to my visual of Jon and Wendy standing side by side, which I believe might look a little like this.

Yeah, that's Gulliver being tied up in the background.

Yes, she's way tall. He's ... ah ... still cute, now even moreso with the facial hair. Bear cub!!!!!

I'm LOVIN' the facial hair.

Watch the whole clip from Monday's show, including Stewart/Cenac beard rub, at this link.

Comments on the Jon Stewart facial hair can be registered below.

Tweets From the Press Tour/CBS Edition: Let's Add a Lesbian to Rules of Engagement

Well this certainly caught my eye. New York Magazine's Vulture blog Twitter account from the Television Critics Assn. tour stop with "the Tiffany Network":

CBS: We're not happy with lack of diversity in primetime shows. To help fix, a lesbian character is being added to Rules of Engagement.

To which I immediately countered (in my head), "Great, another woman on the show that won't have sex with Russell."

David Spade plays Russell. Almost all the women on the show fit that category.

Now I'm sure there will be pressure to cast some hot young thing as some straight guy's idea of what a lesbian looks or acts like, but if they are really interested in doing this right and doing it smart, there's only one woman to hire here, and she needs a job and is more than able to handle the comedy and still look great on air.

Her name is Tammy Lynn Michaels, she's been going by Etheridge for a while but that's over and she's funny and attractive and motivated to work.

Call her agent, get a reference from Ryan Murphy (from her days on the wildly hilarious Popular, check this clip - LINK - if you need to remember that she did the Madonna Vogue thing before Sue Sylvester), pay her rate and get her working.

Bonus! Gay people have someone right there on set to tamp down on the Russell lesbian jokes. Extra bonus! CBS not only adds a lesbian character but an actual lesbian comedic actress playing her.

You're welcome, Nina Tassler.

Re: Ex-ABC Chief McPherson, Here Comes the Parade (of negative anonymous quotes)

First, Variety is reporting (behind a paywall or I would link to it, that's the price of your paywall, Variety) that ABC Family's Paul Lee will be named as McPherson's successor in short order.

I thought it might be ... uh, hitworthy (?!?) to collect some sample reaction to the McPherson resignation at ABC.

Starting with ... a comment at Nikki Finke's blog:

The writing had been on the wall for quite some time. While everyone focused on NBC’s foibles (as well they should), McPherson had only proven to be a tad less inept.

Greenlighting Happy Town, Cavemen and Hank, pretty much showed he has no idea what he’s doing.

From Hibberd's Live Feed blog at THR:

“He just doesn’t play well with others,” noted one industry insider.

Another former insider put it more harshly: “Why? Totally on background? Because he’s f–king insane! The guy’s had one hit in five years. I didn’t see Bob Iger living with it much longer. And [Iger] hated his development. All of it.”

LA Times Company Town Blog:

McPherson, who was instrumental in ABC's dramatic turnaround in 2004 by shaping such hits as "Desperate Housewives" and later "Grey's Anatomy," was unable to produce a stable of new hits to pick up the slack as those popular shows lost steam in the ratings. Not only that, but the hard-charging executive clashed with his bosses, most notably Anne Sweeney, president of the Disney ABC Television Group, and the constant management strife within the division produced a dysfunctional atmosphere that some said hampered creativity.

Peter Lauria at The Daily Beast:

Known as an intense competitor, McPherson is famously abrasive and is universally regarded as one of the most disagreeable executives in Hollywood. His has icy relationships with producers, talent agents, and even the stars on his own shows, and there were many people within the Magic Kingdom and outside its walls who would love to see him fail. And that meant that the pressure was on McPherson, known for expletive-laced outbursts and an inability to take criticism.

Forbes' The Biz Blog:

Notoriously prickly, McPherson's tenure has also included a handful of public barbs (often directed at former NBC chief Ben Silverman) and a relationship with Disney/ABC TV Group president Anne Sweeney believed to be rocky.

Also many many mentions of the fact that the shows the carried McPherson through the first couple years at the network (while he was creating adversarial relationships) were actually developed by either Susan Lyne or Lloyd Braun previous to his joining the network.

Twitter search of the name "McPherson" yields some yack as well should you need to check it out.

If I see more I'll add more. The winner so far is the anonymous guy who called him fucking insane.

Then again, who isn't?

Breaking: ABC Chief McPherson Leaving Immediately

As things do these days, this breaks on Twitter courtesy New York Magazine's Joe Adalian.

"Steve McPherson has settled out of his contract from ABC and has left the network, effective immediately, Adalian tweets. "More to come."

Big news just two months before the big Fall premieres.

See previews for all the ABC Summer and Fall premieres by clicking this link.

What's weird here is that it comes way out of the blue and he leaves immediately. Immediately.

ABC of course is a unit of The Walt Disney Company. I'll be checking late trading on Disney stock and updating here.

As of now, McPherson's bio is still live on the Disney-ABC corporate site.

Video -- While You Were Standing in Line at Comic-Con You Missed The Bigger Event

That's right, it was all about Pacey Witter in San Diego, didn't you know? What, were you too drunk to notice?

Recap the entire con with its host, Joshua Jackson by clicking here.

Watch the Dawson's Creek pilot, which for some reason is posted at MySpace with embed codes, by clicking this link.

Video -- Fringe at the Con: Anna, Josh, John, Lance, Blair, Jasika, Producers, (and JJ Abrams as the Beaver)

First of all, all the pics here are from Fox's Kristian Dowling. Thanks.

The show returns on September 23, which isn't that far away now, but there are scads of burning questions from fans about the second season finale, the alternates (esp. the Walternate) and ... that Peter/Olivia kiss that rocked us up one side and down another.

Now, you can tell the image at the top of the post is from this year's Con and not last (or the year before) because of Anna Torv's bangs. I like the altOlivia hair, much better than that hyper-blonde that she was sporting last season (though now I understand why, what with altOlivia having a touch of the ginger.

The panel itself? All I've got is these clips from YouTube's iluvivana (and I hope that doesn't mean Ivana Trump, got nothing against the woman but she has fans? Really?) which are fine, and thank you iluvivana, but they're from the giant projection screens and not close up, the sound is a bit iffy and the camera a bit shaky. The moderator is Entertainment Weekly's Ken Tucker, who's a fan of the show.

Still, it's all I got so ...

Part one  Part two  Part three Part four Part five

Fox had cameras rolling around the Con as well, and this clip (LINK) might be better for you.

And, if you haven't seen it, Hulu has a great clip where the cast and creators talk about the season finale and look forward to the coming season at this link.

Also coming next season, even more opportunities for John Noble to show the Emmy nominating committee that they keep screwing up by not acknowledging his performance here. Maybe next year as we get to know Sec'y of Defense Walternate there will be more will to place this man on the ballot.

If they know what they're doing. 

More on Fringe's day at Comic-Con from Buddy TV at this link.

Finally, JJ Abrams wasn't on THIS panel, but he did spend some dais time with his pal Joss ... uh, Joss ... oh yeah, Whedon, and you can read about that at UGO.com at this link. Not much Fringe-y stuff but it wouldn't be a con without the defacto gods of scifi TV/moviedom.

If Elton John DOES Get This American Idol Judges Seat ...

... I say none of us watch until he explains what the fuck he was doing singing at Rush Limbaugh's wedding.

He still hasn't talked about it. At all. And I'm sure someone other than me is asking, he's just not talking.

Has he heard the things that Druggy Limbaugh has said about people with HIV? About the Ryan White Care Act?

Has Jeanne White-Ginder, Ryan's mom (image left), made any public comment about this?

How about Lady Gaga?

Does Elton get a free pass.

This to me all smacks of the Whoopi Goldberg/Mel Gibson thing, that there is a class of people out there for whom ethics just don't matter. Like they're better than us and live by a different set of rules, which of course they do ... until their lives and ours intersect in that area that's known as commerce.

I just can't believe that he still hasn't stood up in front of his adopted America (he lives in Atlanta with David Furnish a lot of the time) and explained why he would take money to perform from such a pariah as Limbaugh.

Anyone interested in threatening a boycott? I want answers. It seems like the only way to get answers from people with money is to find a way to withhold said money.

Don Draper, Carnival Ride (I'm Next, I'm Next, I'm Taller than "This Tall")

If you're like me, when you saw that Don Draper was inviting people into his new apartment on 6th and Waverly (one of my favorite NYC neighborhoods not far from Washington Square where unspeakable things were done to me on a park bench late one night ... a different story for a different time) to accept cash, straddle his manhood and slap him repeatedly in the face, my first thought was, "And the line forms where?"

I mean, isn't that everything you've ever wanted out of this guy? Do him, smack him around, take the cash, leave before he even knows your name or whether you have family with which to celebrate Thanksgiving.

Done. Diary entry written, calls made ... if it wasn't 1965 I'd hope to get a quick cameraphone pic of the proceedings, just a little something for Facebook.

So we all agree Don can stand some slapping around, some abuse, some 1965 bouffant wearing, high-arched eyebrow, self-unzipping (she was very bendy, as Phoebe Buffay would say) professsional roughing up with a side of shameful orgasm.

But the one thing that Don can't bear? Prudes from Portland, the Jantzen two-piece (not bikini) guys, father and son who've come all the way to the big city to bask in the creative glow of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce for the vaunted Draper creative mind (the Glo-Coat ad guy, the firm's first success) but also want to remain a family company that would never sell a two-piece bathing suit because it shows more skin because that would be wrong.

More on the Jantzen angle from The Oregonian at this link.

Wasting Don's time like that? First putting him out there when there was no deal to make and then bringing him back, boards in hand, Draper concepts at the ready ... and saying no?

Well, you can imagine how Don must have felt ... he must have felt used, thrown aside, like ... a whore.

Ah, ridden and smacked around again, and he didn't even have the control that comes with paying the hooker to leave. He had to order the Jantzen guys out of his office.

(Then again, I think I would have as well. C'mon, 2-piece v. bikini? In 1965? That was the year Dwayne Hickman; you know, Doby Gillis, was learning How to Stuff a Wild Bikini in theatres.)

And so begins season four of Mad Men. Sure, there was more ... Betty's still having issues with, well, everything; from her new prospective in-laws to daughter Sally who's just not having any of this -- new dad, new relatives, unfamiliar food that just won't go down, Peggy has a new partner in crime (literally, Matt Long, late of Jack & Bobby and most recently The Deep End on ABC) and and a hot new 'do, but like SCDP it's really all about Don.  Don, Don, Don.

More, including a couple behind the scenes clips and a preview of next week after the jump.

LA Times Video -- Jersey Shore: Gym, Tanning, Laundry ... and Shopping for Italian Specialties in Miami

Every good Guido knows about the pork store, it's where you go for your sausage, proscuitto, sopressata, cappicola ... that kinda thing.

In Valley Stream I had a great pork store ... there is nothing like that here in North County San Diego, I have to go to India Street downtown to pick up that stuff (and the olives, gotta have 'em).

It's an Italian thing.

In North Miami Beach there's Laurenzo's Italian Market, click here for their site.

Now click here to see your favorite TV guidos shopping there for, you know, the stuff you gotta have. You gotta be a guido to understand, I guess.

In this second clip, check out JWoww and Snooki at the gym, because apparently in S2 the ladies (I know, I said it loosely) get the G in GTL handled. Though Snooki spends more time combing her hair than exercising and Jennie should have worn something from her FilthyCouture.com line of girls-with-giant-fake-cans wear. Missed a marketing opportunity there.

Then Paulie D shops for kicks. Betcha his fortune is in that collection by now.

They all come back (including that cockblock Angelina) Thursday night at 10 on MTV, check out the trailer at this link. Snooki's life-changing experience in 21 seconds can be seen by clicking this, and one more bonus clip (over five minutes of guidos flexing and preening) for you right here.

UPDATE: Hey, the LA Times blog post that goes with their clips is now up on their site at this link, go check it out.

And in Just Minutes Now on The Good Guys ...

... Dan Stark goes undercover ... as a guido!

Where's Snooki when you need her, huh?

I don't know what the numbers are on this show and I really haven't taken the time to gauge the buzz (what with the being sick and it being Summer and ... but I digress) but the thing you need to know if you're not watching is that the Bradley Whitford enjoyment level is just off the charts.

Steady and focused are Whitford's usual TV character's traits, but this show gives him carte blanche (but ya are, Blanche, ya are!) to just go wild and I don't think I've seen an actor have more fun on camera this year.

Colin Hanks is solid (watch him and co-star Jenny Wade talk about their characters' relationship at this link) and has the sometimes thankless straight man job here but Whitford is all snarl and body language and comic misogyny and a throwback to the 80s when of course Stark was a hero Dallas cop who saved the governor's son ... from something ... somewhere ... and I'm sure we'll find out what it was and what happened after, what really happened that shot his star clear out of the sky and into the bowels of the Dallas PD.

I don't have a preview of tonight's episode for you (no clip, bad bad Fox YouTube admin) but it's an hour of your Monday, starting at 9 eastern, and it's good stuff. Plus, if you've ever wanted to watch creator Matt Nix's other show but you are averse to stick figure women (I'm talking to you, Gabrielle Anwar from Burn Notice) this show will work out just great for you.

Video -- Will This Catfight Eclipse Krystal vs. Alexis? Tiffany and Deb Gibson in Mega Python vs. Gatoroid

You call it stuntcasting, I call it delicious. And there's no getting past how much heat the pairing of these two has done for Syfy and their Saturday movies.

The only question you might have now is ... have they got the fight chops? Well, here's the clip, have at it (LINK).

For some context, here's one of the more famous Dynasty Krystal v. Alexis catfights, from the lily pond (LINK).

Syfy's original movie Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (as opposed to Gatoraid, which would be no contest at all) won't air till next season, and I'll make sure you know when.

Video -- Fuse Has Maroon 5 Live and Commercial Free Tomorrow Night at 9

But it IS all about Adam Levine, isn't it? I mean, I don't even know the rest of the names of the guys in the band. Girls love him, guys are loving him more now that he's hitting the gym (standards, we have standards about our male celebs and deltoid and bicep development) and the songs are ... well, just not my kind of music, sorry.

But he's cute. And someone's buying the albums, it can't just be Meg Griffin (no, I can't find the clip).

Watch the preview of tomorrow's special by clicking this link.

Not only is this the kickoff to their Summer tour but it also sheds some light on the Garden of Dreams Foundation, which is ...

Garden of Dreams is a 501c3 non-profit charity that works closely with all areas of Madison Square Garden, including the New York Knicks, Rangers, Liberty, MSG Media, MSG Entertainment and Fuse “to make dreams come true for kids in crisis”. In the four years since its inception, Garden of Dreams has worked tirelessly to fulfill its mission by creating unique and unforgettable events and activities -often involving unprecedented access to Madison Square Garden celebrities, events and venues -that have brightened the lives of thousands and thousands of special children and their families.

So, basically, if it happens at the Garden or one of its properties and it can help kids feel better or distract them from their crises, it's Garden of Dreams. Great idea.

Concert tomorrow at 9 eastern, live on Fuse, check your channel grid for details.

No new album before September, but you can pre-order at Amazon at this link.

Their newest, Misery (live version from downtown Toronto) via Vevo.com at this link.

Video/Pics -- Who Looks Great With Glee's Heather Morris on Their Arm? EVERYONE!!!

No, Heather is not an accessory for your next circuit party, but she'd certainly be a great one if you could get her. You could dance for hours with the former Beyonce backup dancer who struck gold this year on Fox's Glee and who's star will shine even brighter (than those be-you-tee-ful blues) this season as we get more Brittany per exec prod Ryan Murphy.

Here, Heather and Naya Rivera talk about Brittany's and Santana's chemistry from their panel (LINK).

Fan clip from the autograph sessions at this link. More after the jump.

(Pics from Kristian Dowling and Frank Micelotta/FOX.)

Retire by Tweet, Unretire by Tweet

Dear wonderful and funny and sweet Amanda Bynes:

You get one of these. Just the one. Why one, especially given your age? Because you grew up in the business and you should have known better.

I still think that maybe you thought you did something that you thought someone would be really upset about and so you tried to head it off at the pass but that didn't work or the "thing" wasn't really such a big "thing" in retrospect and now you're kind of playing catch up with the career.

BTW, I don't think anyone cares about your ethnic taste in men (per that other tweet of yours that made news lately). More power to ya, just don't let your soulmate fly by while you're checking out the flava.

Remember when you were just a kid and had your own sketch comedy series that even I watched in my thirties? More of that please. Maybe just a little less tweeting and more funny. Good prescription for a long career.

Why not make some great TV as part of your "comeback," huh?

Love ya,

Joe, Your TV Junkie

And for the rest of you, a clip from The Amanda Show (LINK).

Video & Pics -- USA's Matt Bomer (White Collar) at the Con

Sure, sure, some shows maybe weren't right for Comic-Con, but cast a lead who takes my breath away just by looking at him and you get a free pass, baby.

(Pics by Hopper Stone/USA Network.)

Bomer, looking just ... mmmmm .... damn he's cute (and I'm old).

He talks to Chuck the Movie Guy about the hat in this clip (LINK).

Bonus!!! Preview clip for tomorrow's episode by clicking this.

A couple more pics and another clip after the jumperoo!

Video -- Everything I'm Seeing From the Con: The Event, Dexter, Community, Glee, Spartacus, More ...

I'm really trying to get over the fact that I was 15 miles away and I missed the whole con. Pneumonia's a bitch and she doesn't know when to leave.

So, here's some video of some panels and interviews with some people who we can all agree that we enjoy when they show up on the teevee.

Community (NBC): 44 minutes of love from geeks to the people who mirror them on TV and right back at them. Grateful cast and crew. A thought, though ... I was reading this story about the new Showtime series Episodes and thinking back about the ratings Matt LeBlanc's last NBC series scored and realized that a 7.0 is a damn good number for a half hour comedy on NBC Thursday nights. Okay, I'm still looking for vindication for loving Joey. I loved Joey and I will not stop saying it despite losing serious cred for saying it. Mattie, I got your back.

Spartacus: Blood & Sand (Starz): This is a UStream broadcast embed and it's a little hinky, but eventually it does start (be patient). Steven DeKnight (he of the tribal tats in the center, nice ink!) with stars Andy Whitfield (who I imagine will talk about his lymphoma diagnosis, treatment and remission), Lucy Lawless, John Hannah and Viva Blanca. Note: Imho Viva as Ilithyia had the most savage beatdown of the series when she just destroyed the face of "that bitch laughing at me" Licina. BTW, this is not the panel from the Con, this was shot at the Con. You can see the panel on YouTube starting with this first of five clips from YouTube user HomeTheaterForum. Ooh, ooh, ooh ... bonus clip!!! A teaser trailer for the prequel Gods of the Arena by clicking this link.

Glee (Fox): Yes, Glee was at the Con. No, I don't know why. I imagine this is one of those panels that elicited responses like this one from The Big Bang Theory's Kunal Nayyar on Twitter, though from him it's just a slight bit of pot calling the kettle black (it's not even about nerd culture, Kunal, it's supposed to be comic books, scifi, fantasy ... but not necessarily funny geeks or show choir geeks). Of all the video I've reviewed, the clips from YouTube user missatwell seems to have the best position and equipment, and some nice edit techniques. This is the first of her series, which then can be followed at YouTube. Hey, everyone's having a good time and at least there was no Twihards screaming for RPattz. Oh, btw no Rachel nor Finn in San Diego. Hmmmm. And no Jane Lynch. And yes, that's our gal Heather Morris with Amber Riley. Love Heather, can't wait for this to be her true breakout season on the show.

The Event (NBC): Not much footage here (only 10-plus minutes) because they showed the whole pilot. Me, not having been there, did not see it and it was at the top of my list having had some FB contact with creator Nick Wauters previously. I'm hoping (fingers crossed) to get a screener, and I would pray to Mount Inastranka if it helped. If anyone found out what the event actually is, please leave a comment below. If it's a big spoiler I just won't approve the comment so it won't show for the sake of the rest of you. One thing: I scrolling through the stills on the NBC press site for the show and Scott Patterson (Gilmore Girls, that Seinfeld episode) looks "worked," like with a needle of scalpel. Dude, you were spongeworthy, why would you do this to your face?

Dexter (Showtime): Michael C. Hall is back and healthy and happy to be pretend killing bad people in pretend Miami. He talks to The Hollywood Reporter in this clip. See the chilling trailer for season five by clicking here. They return on September 26 with a new season. Another promo by clicking here. Hall was on Showtime's Anti-hero panel with Mary Louise Parker (Weeds) and David Duchovny (Californication) and Showtime has posted excerpts from that panel that you can watch by clicking this (if you watch it here instead of at YouTube you skip the pre-roll ad).

More more more as the day progresses.